Lovedtodeath Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 I would definitely type up a letter explaining how the SW demands affect your finances and how following the suggestions will put them in danger and make sure the correct person gets it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in KY Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 HSLDA will help you even if you are not a member, because this is the kind of thing precedent is based upon. Contact them ASAP. If they are a no-go, contact a lawyer as was already suggested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyndie Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 :grouphug: I cannot imagine the kind of stress this is putting on your whole family. I hope you find someone to help you out of this mess. I'll be praying for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 On the getting the evaluation thing-------what about calling the social worker and explaining that you have an appointment set for March but you realize that it is important to get your son evaluated earlier so would she PLEASE help you get an earlier appointment. Then either : a: you get in earlier---she is very happy b: she can't get you in earlier---she can't say anything I was a foster parent for 10 years to over 100 children. I will say that you will get much farther with honey than vinegar. Get a lawyer if you can but try to be as cooperative as you can. Pick your battles---nursing a 2 year old---maybe enough to fight for, maybe time to slowly wean school---again, might be worth fighting, maybe not gym membership---ask her to help you sign up for one, etc. through them you might get a free membership. doctor--again, ask her to help you get in earlier Do you have a church family that can help you out? It is important to get some good sleep and get some quiet time for yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 (edited) The gym membership thing is outrageous. The more I think on it the more I just have to repeat-that SW is completely out of bounds. I'd like to see where in the policy manual it allows her to make those demands (including the other unreasonable ones). She can make 'suggestion' that you consider a gym membership to decrease stress but as far as making it a part of an enforceable plan...no, no, no. Heck, I have a Y membership that has been gathering dust for the last 9 mos. Having a membership to a gym doesn't mean you'll use it or that it will even help with stress. I'm having stress because I have the membership and I am stressing about not having time to use it right now. Use that gym membership $$$ to retain a good lawyer. IMO a good lawyer will do more to relieve your stress than a gym membership. ;) Edited January 23, 2010 by 2cents Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 The problem isn't about going to the gym, it is the cost. $600 just to join then $14/hour childcare. I can't afford that when I am saving every penny for the move (I do not work and have a very limited income.) THe 2 kids that do not have special needs are ds6 who while he does not have the same issues as the big kids does have encopresis and will not do well in PS with him constantly oozing bm into his pants. He is also the one the SW wants assessed for LD. The other one is dd2 who is too young for school. Brandy, check out Club Fit (which just recently was taken over by World Health Club) I joined in Dec and asked the manager if anyone was selling their membership. He said he'd call me back in a few days. Lo and behold, he gave me this other guy's membership. No joining fees, just $30 per month. If you can find a deal like that, it's worth it. The manager would be your contact person. Good luck in jumping through these hoops, girl! You can do it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Brandy, Just know I understand frustrations with the system or situations that attack your core identity, focus and time. I know it's difficult to explain online the "whole story". Know also that while I used to believe that were there is smoke, there is fire, I know better today. I'm so sorry you are distracted from doing what they supposedly want you to do o- quality mothering. Do get an attorney. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysparkler Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Pick your battles---nursing a 2 year old---maybe enough to fight for, maybe time to slowly wean Or pretend you weaned ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 I don't have anything to add other than more :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:. I read through the whole post. This is just awful, and the scary thing is, it could really happen to anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBS Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Well, I am wondering about the prime goal: moving to a friendlier clime? Is that right? Would moving make it all better? So, while I agree with the advice to comply, and submit for the sake of getting them off of you, I wonder if maybe, possibly, perhpas there is another path. Do you know the local school admin? Is there a possibility that you could work out a deal with them? Put the kids back in school, with understanding that the best and future for them is homeschooling....see if they will set up special circumstance to have your kids temporarily, and use that time to get your ducks rowed up, do home gym work to save money for outside gym. Flex muscles menacingly at SW when she comes. Your case will get closed, you can move....and your kids may have a good time in school for a short time and you may get some help from good teachers about things that will work for you for your special needs kids. There are so many good teachers out there. The school system will know you have the right to be there, and will be so glad to see you go, since your kids will take up lots of resources, that you might find they let you right the ticket (nice teacher, nice class, gentle grading, low assessment, or no assessment, etc. ) You'd be amazed at how many of the mandated tests and such can be delayed or written off for a good period of time. You've got to explore this gently, so as not to make the admin cohorts, but rather, they need to feel they are doing the best they can. You may know already that this is not possible, but I sometimes find that the least obvious solution can be made workable. I have had really good public school experiences, too. If nothing else, you'll find out why they aren't a good option and you can document that to the SW/judge to show you tried. They don't need to know you are asking school admin for temporary situation, not their business, as they are not concerned with your WHOLE family's best goal....the SW just wants to bust your chops and insinuate her inadequacy issue of being a part-time parent onto you, while you operate as a double parent, full time, to four. That makes you about eight people's worth! Find some La Leche League gals to harrass her on the breast-feeding thing, that ought to bunch up her knickers for a while. First, no matter what, calm down, have faith, do not let this plunge you into the abyss....you are better than they are, you can find the strength, the fortitude, the energy......look deeply into your children's eyes and know you are doing the right thing and the best you can. No language like WTF even here in these boards, which are public, remember? Accessible to all. Muzzle your mom. Good intentions dont' count. sadly. Go, little sister, LBS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.