Do you tell your child he/she's dyslexic?

[amyable]

My dd is 12yo and a diagnosed dyslexic (with some borderline ADD, non-verbal LD, memory issues...). She was diagnosed early last year, but honestly, I've known something was "up" with her since she was 3 years old! She knows she struggles - she is quite aware of that! But I have never "named" her problem for her. I've jokingly mentioned "those brain quirks" that make certain things hard when we are talking together; I've never said "DYSLEXIA."

 

I'm wondering what others have done, and why (and at what age). I'm pretty sure I am going to tell her soon, but I'm not sure how. I think I may be more hesitant than normal because she also has alpecia areata (where her hair falls out on a regular basis) and I worry that having one more "syndrome" may be too much right now for my smart, sensitive, outgoing, fun loving but "wanting to be NORMAL" girl.

[Peela]

My dd is 12yo and a diagnosed dyslexic (with some borderline ADD, non-verbal LD, memory issues...). She was diagnosed early last year, but honestly, I've known something was "up" with her since she was 3 years old! She knows she struggles - she is quite aware of that! But I have never "named" her problem for her. I've jokingly mentioned "those brain quirks" that make certain things hard when we are talking together; I've never said "DYSLEXIA."

 

I'm wondering what others have done, and why (and at what age). I'm pretty sure I am going to tell her soon, but I'm not sure how. I think I may be more hesitant than normal because she also has alpecia areata (where her hair falls out on a regular basis) and I worry that having one more "syndrome" may be too much right now for my smart, sensitive, outgoing, fun loving but "wanting to be NORMAL" girl.

 

Well, I had my son tested when he was 12 and he was told straight out- it never occurred to me not to. It was a huge relief to both of us that there was a name and an obvious brain wiring difference- and he said to me on the way home, Mum, that means Im not stupid- I am just dyslexic. I nearly cried because he really has had such a thing about being stupid because he wasnt able to learn as quickly as others. The lady who tested him was so positive about dyslexia- and I am still not decided if its an actual disadvantage- it obviously makes school difficult- but there are so many famous people and entrapreneurs who are dyslexic- it seems to make them think "differently" and more out of the box than others. I think it's a wiring difference rather than a defecit. Since it was presented so positively to my son, and since his dad and halfsister and also dyslexic, he doesnt have a problem with the label, and he doesnt give himself such a hard time about not being able to do things.

 

I cant imagine keeping that sort of think secret from a 12yo- I think they have a right to know- but I understand your concern at labelling.

[Georgia On My Mind]

I am an educational therapist. I test and diagnose dyslexia and other types of learning disabilities. You are right, your daughter already knows she has a problem and has known for a long time. She doesn't need a name attached to it to know that. I would not label her dyslexic because that definition is very broadly used for any disorder involving reading and may have negative association for her. If she asks what disability she has, I would use terms the person who tested and diagnosed her used such as reading disorder, nonverbal learning disability, etc. These terms are not usually used by students to make fun of each other and probably would be easier for her to handle. Remind her that she is "fearfully and wonderfully made and a marvelous work of the Lord" and that He knew her before she was born and has a purpose and plan for her just as she is. You might want to have a a list of the well known dyslexic individuals in the film industry, business, sports etc. We all have differences in learning to some degree. No two people learn in exactly the same way. She can get almost any book or textbook in audio form and I use speech to print with all my students so they can hear the reports, essays and compositions they are typing on the computer. You might look for an educational therapist in your area to work with her. We know how to strengthen the areas of the brain that are weak with prescriptive therapy. Google NILD and the first hit should be the organization I am licensed and certified with. The brain remains modible and pliable and changeable as long as we live. I had a right brain stroke a little over two years ago and have had to learn to walk, read, and remember all over again and I have mastered most all the skills I lost and am teaching my 9th grade granddaughter 7 subjects including Latin and Algebra II/Trig. I would be glad to recommend some books for you to read if you want.

[AngieW in Texas]

It was a huge relief for my dd to know that she was dyslexic.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

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[RamonaQ]

Naming dyslexia for my son has given him some word to talk about how he learns. He also can understand he is dyslexic not "stupid". He also understands that there are plenty of other people that have dyslexia and have struggled through, but still have had good, happy, and successful lives-- he is not alone and not really so "different".

[EKS]

We told my son. In his case, he also has the "good" things that go along with dyslexia, such as amazing visualization skills. So we talked about those things too.

[Terabith]

I would totally tell her. When I have found out that an issue I struggle with has a name and a treatment, I have been SOOOO relieved. It let me know I wasn't a freak, wasn't stupid, wasn't alone. It was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, just knowing.

 

She knows there is an issue. Knowing what that issue IS would be a huge relief and benefit, I think. She could also do some research as she gets older and learn more about dyslexia.

[merry gardens]

I have not told my 8 year old son.

 

For one thing, he has never been formally tested.

 

For another, I hope that through the right teaching techniques, my son's brain might eventually form the brain connections so that his current reading problems won't be life-long problems. I appreciate Georgia's previous comment about the brain being pliable and changable.

 

My son is still young. I am not convinced that his reading problems and brain patterns are irreversible at this point. Although his progress is slow, he is making progress. Since we homeschool, he is as not subject to daily embarrassment or constant comparrison with others. At this point, I see no reason to tell my son he has dyslexia.