help being sympathetic (vent)

[LibrarianMom]

Good evening,

 

I'm needing some help figuring out how to be appropriately sympathetic to my dd this evening. As you probably know, the AG doll Kirsten went back into the vault. A few minutes ago, my dd was at the AG website and burst into tears because Kirsten is gone forever and now she can never get her. Normally I would feel badly, but we were at the AG store this fall and dd had enough money to buy a doll but chose to buy outfits and an AG pet instead. I had told her before going that she had to choose whether she wanted another doll or stuff for the doll she had. I think she was hoping we were going to buy Kirsten for Christmas which didn't happen. I want to feel for her, but part of me wants to say "I told you so." Suggestions?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Sometimes the best and only thing you can do is to say "I'm so sorry." and give a hug. Anything else becomes a lecture in disguise!

[Starr]

I think you have to choke on the "I told you so." :D I think she gets it. All you can do is say you are sorry she's upset. Another day you can have a money and stuff talk. It's hard watching our kids grow up. I have a 15 dd I can send you for a while.

[Carol in Cal.]

I would go with the hug and condolences and leave it at that.

 

If you're feeling very magnanimous, you could try to hunt one down on Ebay. Everything seems to turn up there sooner or later. Even my Madame Alexander 'Kitten' doll from about 1965.

[3lilreds in NC]

I would have a hard time not saying "I told you so," too. I'm having a difficult time being sympathetic these days to the constant drama in my house. I'm practicing just saying "I'm so sorry," and giving a hug even though I'd much rather not.

 

If you want to get a Valentine's gift or save something for her birthday, they do still have the Kirsten mini doll. When Samantha was being discontinued, my younger dd really wanted her. Naturally, she did not make this decision until nearly too late; we could have still ordered the doll but she was going to have to wait a long time. We were able to get her the Samantha mini doll and that made her quite happy. I am a sucker for my kids and their toys. :D

[Margo out of lurking]

Sometimes the best and only thing you can do is to say "I'm so sorry." and give a hug. Anything else becomes a lecture in disguise!

:iagree:

 

 

Several years ago, we bought a retired doll (Felicity?) on ebay, "like new" for less than $100. Just something to keep in mind down the road.

[Carol in Cal.]

...skirts dangerously near the 'kicking someone when they're down' category.

[KristenS]

She can also save up for a modern AG doll styled liked Kirsten, and hunt Ebay for the outfits. Or, if she sews, find some of the sewing patterns for 18" dolls.

 

I know with my son (age 8), if I think he's expecting something that I know isn't going to be so, I have to give him plenty of warning. He just gets his heart so set on things sometimes, and it's just not always possible. He's not usually a drama type, just an intense type, though. I can see this being an issue when my daughter gets older. Sigh.

[LibrarianMom]

Thank you for the encouragement. I fear I blew it already when dd raised the "why didn't you buy her for Christmas" question. But we hugged and said sorry.

 

I think she's OK because she's already looking at other things on the AG site and excitedly announced about the new AG pet and that she only needs two more Emily outfits. I do have some dolls on my ebay watch list right now (for birthdays). I also really like the suggestion of getting a modern doll and then doing her hair/clothes like Kirsten.

[jujsky]

She can also save up for a modern AG doll styled liked Kirsten, and hunt Ebay for the outfits. Or, if she sews, find some of the sewing patterns for 18" dolls.

 

That's what I was going to suggest too. Acknowledge her disappointment with a hug, make this suggestion, and then leave it in her court. There's not much else you can reasonably do. Finding and buying the doll for her on ebay would send the wrong message, though you can give her the option of saving up for it and buying it off ebay.

[KristenS]

And you never know what you might find in yard sales or thrift stores ... I got my Felicity doll at a yard sale, and a Bitty Baby outfit at a thrift store (I spotted it on another doll). Bitty Baby for my daughter was an ebay purchase. I got AG dolls for my nieces via ebay too. Of course the retired ones get pricey, but sometimes you can find a cheap one that just needs a little TLC ... maybe factor in a visit to the AG doll hospital?

 

You shoulda seen the Christmas when my son broke down into tears because he didn't get what he REALLY wanted for Christmas. I was baffled, as he'd pretty much received the few things he'd mentioned wanting. Turns out what he REALLY wanted was a Stargate Webkinz Christmas movie starring himself and his friends. Um, I think even Santa would have had a little trouble with that one... LOL. Fortunately he got over it.

[Cedarmom]

I agree with the other posters a hug and an Im sorry is all you need to say. Sometimes it helps me to picture myself as if Im talking to a friend who needs encouragement after a bad choice. Mostly to my friend I would listen. Just be empathetic, you don't even need to comment on the choice she made. You are allowed to think it in your head though.