Adrianne Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 My ds9 is always interested in everyone else's business. He seems to have a comment for every situation, especially when we are disciplining his brother. He needs to know what is going on with everything from what the dog is doing to why his brother is in trouble. His school work would be finished a lot earlier if he was not so interested in every situation in the house. It seems like we are always telling him to please mind your own business. I have talked to him about it but it seems he cannot help himself. He has strong leadership qualities that compel him to want to know what is going on so he can help solve the problem. My questions is - Is this a phase typical to 9 year olds that will pass or I am dealing with a behavior issue? Either way I can handle it I just not sure if it is something I should deal with at all. If it is just a passing phase, I can grin and bear it. If it is going to get worse as he ages, then I feel I need to take steps to deal with it. Right now he does not do this in public to others but it should not come to this. I welcome any comments or suggestions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 My ds9 is always interested in everyone else's business. He seems to have a comment for every situation, especially when we are disciplining his brother. He needs to know what is going on with everything from what the dog is doing to why his brother is in trouble. His school work would be finished a lot earlier if he was not so interested in every situation in the house. It seems like we are always telling him to please mind your own business. I have talked to him about it but it seems he cannot help himself. He has strong leadership qualities that compel him to want to know what is going on so he can help solve the problem. My questions is - Is this a phase typical to 9 year olds that will pass or I am dealing with a behavior issue? Either way I can handle it I just not sure if it is something I should deal with at all. If it is just a passing phase, I can grin and bear it. If it is going to get worse as he ages, then I feel I need to take steps to deal with it. Right now he does not do this in public to others but it should not come to this. I welcome any comments or suggestions. Oh, if only I had a dime for every moment that I told my 9yods that it was none of his business!!!! If I have a phone conversation he has to know everything. It drives him crazy to not know something. It drives me crazy that he always pesters me!! I hope it is a stage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I too hope it's a phase. My ds is not yet 9 but will be in May and I noticed in the last month or so he's like this. I have to constatly remind him to worry about his own school work and not what his little sister is being taught. He's always trying to butt in when I'm teaching her lessons. I understand that sometimes he's trying to help, but other times it takes him an hour to do a simple grammar worksheet because his eyes are always on his sister's phonics paper across the desk. I'm contemplating making desk divider's out of a science project display board. Oh and it's definately more than just school, he's always trying to find out what's going on everywhere in the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 It sounds like a personality type more than a typical developmental phase. That said, his age and therefore development affect the way and to what extent this personality trait manifests. That kind of inappropriate intrusiveness and role assumption would bother me. Therefore I'd deal with it firmly and consistently. Ignore or under-respond would not be a comfortable choice for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Get him some ear protectors (you know, the kind that are like ear muffs). Tell him that he needs to concentrate on his school work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianne Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 Oh, if only I had a dime for every moment that I told my 9yods that it was none of his business!!!! If I have a phone conversation he has to know everything. It drives him crazy to not know something. It drives me crazy that he always pesters me!! I hope it is a stage. Yes Yes! This is it! At least I know I am not alone! This too shall pass.... Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianne Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 I too hope it's a phase. My ds is not yet 9 but will be in May and I noticed in the last month or so he's like this. I have to constatly remind him to worry about his own school work and not what his little sister is being taught. He's always trying to butt in when I'm teaching her lessons. I understand that sometimes he's trying to help, but other times it takes him an hour to do a simple grammar worksheet because his eyes are always on his sister's phonics paper across the desk. I'm contemplating making desk divider's out of a science project display board. Oh and it's definately more than just school, he's always trying to find out what's going on everywhere in the house. I feel like a broken record saying "what are you supposed to be doing?" over and over again. GGGRRR!!! It must be the age, no matter how much I tell him, he just can't seem to help himself. This too shall pass..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Yes Yes! This is it! At least I know I am not alone! This too shall pass.... Thanks! Same here, my almost 9yo ds is the same way. I thought maybe it had to do with the fact that he is the oldest too. Any opinions on that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianne Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 Maybe, mine is the oldest too. I bet it does. Like I said he has strong leadership qualities. I am always telling him that he is a role model for his younger brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 My just turned 8 yo is like this too. I agree with Joanne that it is a personality type. So Joanne, HOW do you handle a child like this? Btw, I am much the same way. At work, my friends would say, 'Scarlett just HAS to know.' I've tried to curb that tendency as I get older, because I believe it causes me to take on more than my share of troubles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandamom Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 my latest phrase to my dd7 is "am I talking to you???" She has to know everything and like you said she wants to help/solve the problem. She has been known to interfere when I'm dealing with her brothers and sisters, too. If she's been in the room while I've been on the phone and she's heard something she's been known to comment or ask about it. I've told her that if she can't stay away from me when I'm on the phone (or I can't from her) she'll stay in her room until I'm done talking. So far, I've been pretty consistent and it seems to be taking hold. I'm hopeful for the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2legomaniacs Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Yes, my 9 yr old is the same way. I agree that it is strongly related to personality type. Let's just say the apple didn't fall far from this tree:tongue_smilie:. Time and patience will help as you direct them towards learning what is acceptable and what is not with these behaviors. They are also learning how to deal with issue as part of getting older. THey learn from us, so it is somewhat natural to want to test that out too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianne Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 Yes, my 9 yr old is the same way. I agree that it is strongly related to personality type. Let's just say the apple didn't fall far from this tree. So you mean he is like me when I interrupt his conversations with his brother from the other room to correct his behavior? Oh dear, we have had a revelation here!:blush: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whisperlily Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 I know this stage! Almost every 9 year old goes through this to some degree. I do think it's developmental, caused by a "bridging of worlds" so to speak. A 9 year old is now old enough to really understand adult conversation, and is trying to find his place in a "suddenly larger world." I remember around that age, my DD suddenly wanted to function in the older world. It was a stage where she needed guidance in how to discern when conversations were private, versus "everyday" conversations where we would welcome her involvement. There's a little bit of excitement when they finally start to feel older. They want to skip steps, thinking they have a FULL understanding when really, certain things are just beginning to dawn on them. The do need to be taught to mind their own business. It might help if you treated this as a skill he's learning... and really have a "talk" about when to chime in, and when to leave things alone. TELL him it's something he's learning right now, and give him praise when he knowingly nods instead of asking every detail. He'll outgrow it... but he has to learn how. That's what you're teaching right now. ;) Hang in there! My DS just turned 9 and he's going through it, too. He's learning, and I have heard him start to ask me something and then the spark of realization hits... *oh! Nevermind, I'll let you handle that. It's not really my place...* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 My ds9 is always interested in everyone else's business. He seems to have a comment for every situation, especially when we are disciplining his brother. He needs to know what is going on with everything from what the dog is doing to why his brother is in trouble. His school work would be finished a lot earlier if he was not so interested in every situation in the house. It seems like we are always telling him to please mind your own business. I have talked to him about it but it seems he cannot help himself. He has strong leadership qualities that compel him to want to know what is going on so he can help solve the problem. My questions is - Is this a phase typical to 9 year olds that will pass or I am dealing with a behavior issue? Either way I can handle it I just not sure if it is something I should deal with at all. If it is just a passing phase, I can grin and bear it. If it is going to get worse as he ages, then I feel I need to take steps to deal with it. Right now he does not do this in public to others but it should not come to this. I welcome any comments or suggestions. I can only offer commiseration. My ds8 has had this annoying quality for a couple of years now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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