Problems adjusting!

[cheryl h]

I would be forever greatful for any advice on the topic of helping my kids to adjust to homeschooling. They were all previously at a small Christian private school and at grades 6, 4, and 1, we have had to pull them out due to lack of funds and do what we feel is what God has meant for us to do for a few years...hs'ing. We have been hs'ing for 9 weeks now, and needless to say, I have cried daily, as have my two oldest kids. I am spending my every waking minute on planning and corrections, etc. and I am met with moderate to severe opposition daily. I even chose the cirriculum that their school was using and my straight A kids have turned into barely B students. Frustrating, aggravating, and most of all heartbreaking. Luckily my twin first graders are totally into it, but they also take up a lot of my time because they are only 6. I have been using homeschool tracker to keep track of assignments for dd11 and ds9, but maybe by having them follow the assignment list is too much responsibility. Often they claim to be done with their work, but have skipped or partially finished assignments and I am not able to address it immediately because I am so overwhelmed with trying to teach all four of them and be a wife and take care of things around to house. I am not able to tell whether it is all rebellion or if my expectations for the situation we are in are too high. Please, any input or ideas would be great. Please tell me I am not alone...

[missmoe]

Cheryl,

 

First of all, welcome. Second of all, take a deep breath. I think its great that you are trying to fit it all in, but I would suggest you give yourself and your family a break. Everyone coming home is a big adjustment. If I were you, I would cut back on what you are doing with everyone in the next two months. Maybe pick one or two subjects to concentrate on. In addition, take time to read books together. Do some crafts together. Get ready for the holidays. Spend time outside together. After the holidays, slowly start adding in subjects. The first week back work on math and reading. The next week--math, reading, and spelling. The next week---ect. This way you can slowly work towards a routine and schedule that works for everyone. I know that two months off seems like a long time, but in the over all scheme of things its not really that long and hopefully you can spend that time on strengthing your family bonds.

[Caribbean Queen]

I have not used Abeka but I have heard that parents need to pick and choose which activities they are going to do. In other words, they don't do everything. I hope some Abeka users will respond.

[Soph the vet]

Hi Cheryl,

I just wanted to encourage you to persevere. I agree with the above poster about just focusing on a few subjects for now. Abeka is very thorough and takes all day doesn't it? I would focus on math and LA and let your dc see that they have abundant time to try new things, follow a passion, read freely for hours, go to fun museums when everyone else is in school, etc. etc. Make sure the older ones are staying connected with some of their friends as well. Start playing some games at home or incorporating skills like cooking, gardening, sewing, etc. into their days at home so they can see the benefits of hands-on learning. It really takes three years to feel confident in your homeschool and don't be surprised when burnout time hits around March.

[Chloe]

Welcome to the boards! Take a deep breath and a few days off to regroup!

 

I think one thing that will help is cutting back on what you are doing with your 1st graders. I'm in my 7th year of homeschooling, and I've always heard that a general rule of thumb is one hour of "school time" per grade level. I mean actual sit-down work. It only takes about an hour for my 1st grader to do his Explode the Code phonics book, MCP math lesson, and 20 min. of reading practice. Other than that, I read to him from some easier level history books (same history period his big brother and sister are studying) a few days a week and he will copy a sentence pertaining to the book/study. He prefers that to a handwriting book. Science is just reading library books on topics of his interest and LOTS of outdoor time collecting bugs, toads and just observing nature.

 

Cutting back on the time with your youngers will allow you more time to spend doing history and/or science together with the older two. I think it's great that you are sticking to Abeka to give them some consistancy and familiarity, but maybe just keeping Abeka for LA and math and doing something together for history and science would be a welcome change. Your olders might enjoy that time together with Mom.

 

I've homeschooled my dc from the beginning, but the biggest mistake I've seen new homeschoolers who pull their kids from school make is trying to duplicate everything the public and private schools do. My sister pulled her then 5th and 2nd grader from school a couple of years ago, and she did the same thing. She got burned out quickly. She's doing well now, but she had to learn to cut back on a lot and change the way she did things.

 

HTH!

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Another option to consider is a public cyber charter school which I hope Oregon still has:) However, If you ever consider that route, then I recommend asking detailed questions about expectations, etc.

 

My ds uses that option in PA, and I find it helpful. When my son is less than co-operative, I can say your teacher assigned this work which is true;)Also, for older kids they may have virtual classes to help ease your teaching requirements. Last I heard there is a charter in Oregon that uses K12 which is similar to a classical education. In fact the history in the younger years is based on SWB's STOW.

[sweetbaby]

:grouphug: I know what you are going through. I did the same thing years ago when I pulled my bunch home except I had a highschooler in 9th, twin 2nd graders and one 1st graders. I chose Ace and Abeka curriculum because the christian school used both. Ace was ok but was not pushing them academic wise and appeared too easy and Abeka, although very academically strong, was too teacher intensive and draining me. Through trial and error, I finally discovered what works. I just hate that my highschooler was the guinea pig during those years. My youngest children won't experience all of that but anyway, I discovered that I needed a curriculum in which all of my children could be taught together. One that addresses multiple ages.

 

I agree with the previous poster that you shouldn't have to spent so much time with your 1st graders. You could have school with them first, set them aside with some fun educational activities, books, videos and games then have school with the older children.

[Tabrett]

Following a curriculum that is designed for classroom use is much more difficult than using a curriculum designed for homeschooling. Curriculum's designed for classroom have lots of "busy work" that is not necessary. Classroom teachers pick and choose what pages they want their class to do.

If you can, I would look into a curriculum that combines Bible, history and science. That way your children can work together and they won't be left with a "list" to complete on their own.

 

Take a peek at My Father's World

[cheryl h]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for all the sound advise. Today we did just spelling, LA, and math with dd11 and ds9, and ds/dd6 took the day off. I even left for a little 'me' break and ran 4 miles, it felt so good. I took your advice and we are going to take a break for a few days, after the weekend, and regroup. One of the biggest draws for me to the homeschooling journey was to re-establish our family closeness and do more fun things together like sewing and cooking or nature walks, but it wasn't happening...I was so frustrated. After reading all your bits of wisdom, I feel rejuvenated and reassured that we will be okay, I am not scarring my children, we can make changes and it can and will get better. Even as strung out as I was, I was still planning for next year in my head already...I know that I will change to SL for ds11, Abeka has far too few books to keep her interested and after doing it since K4...she tells me "Mom, I am so sick of Abeka...", Ok then. We'll see about the others, Sl might be a better fit to group the older two in one core and the youngers, obviously together. I am so glad this is not a testing year for us. Thanks again.:001_smile:

[5LittleMonkeys]

Have you made a goal sheet for each of your dc? Setting long term goals for where you want your dc to be a year from now will allow you to see that you have plenty of time to relax a little. I pulled my 3 dc out of ps last March, so they really still had 3 more months of "school" left until summer.

 

They needed to learn first how to be homeschooled. So we spent a few weeks learning together all of the different methods of homeschooling, then we learned all about learning styles. My dc really enjoyed finding out what their learning style was. It made curriculum choices much easier too. We talked about how we wanted to structure our days, what style of curriculum they preferred for each subject,(literature based, workbook, online, etc.) and we started looking at curriculums to purchase to start with in July. We also did fun homeschooling projects. I purchased a unit study curriculum that had lots of projects that interested them and then they each also chose a lapbooking project to work on. We took about 1 1\2 months off for the summer and started our new school year in July. Everything went so well. We have hit a few snags (one hates math and has trouble with writing and I should have placed one in a higher level in grammar) but our day runs pretty smoothly even with a 3yr. old and a 10 month old and they are all pretty happy with their curriculum choices.

 

I think educating them on homeschooling, letting them help decide on a style of homeschooling and allowing them have an input on the curriculums made a huge difference in allowing them to take ownership of their own education. A few times we have had to rework our daily schedule. Recently the baby has been taking naps at a different time than usual and the dc didn't like the distraction during history so I told them it was their schedule and if it wasn't working they should change it. They did and rescheduled history and science (subjects they do mostly together and I need to read, do projects or experiments) for in the morning while the baby naps. Obviously, I would have switched the schedule but I gave them the opportunity to make the decision themselves. Ownership. Now if they complain about the schedule I can say "well it's your schedule, not mine" I do give them guidelines. We have to start at 9 and be done by 3 and I have to have 30 minutes after lunch to go in my office and relax. The point is that they are responsible for making it work.

 

Relax, and allow your dc to relax. You titled your thread "Problems adjusting"; in order to truly adjust you need to slow down, look at the big picture(make long term goals), and have fun educating yourself and your dc on all the aspects of homeschooling. Allow your older dc to take some ownership for their education and they may surprise you. (Pleasantly I hope.) :D

[cheryl h]

I hadn't thought they would even entertain the idea of wanting to a part of that choice being that they were still in denial that this was what we would be doing for school. In the next few days I may bring it up and see if they are interested in being a part of that decision now that reality has had a few weeks to set in. I went to a huge hs conference last summer and there were tons of kids there with their parents actually looking at cirriculum, and I just had to laugh because my kids would have been hanging onto the door jam, refusing to go in(ha ha)...oh dear.

[cheryl h]

I have done some switching for ds/dd6, as I ended up getting through Abeka science/social studies in a couple weeks because it didn't have a lot in it...so I went with SOTW and RS4K which they love, but I dont have the funds to do anymore switching this year, I spent quite a bit on what I have and wouldn't be able to sell till the spring...so am thinking we will stick w/Abeka this year and just wittle it down a bit to make it more manageable. I put in a request for TWTM at our local library, so I am waiting to see if they get it before I go out and buy my own. Thanks for all the advice and encouragement....it has made my week.

[JenniferB]

Cheryl,

 

One more idea...My oldest is a very independent thinker and she doesn't like me dictating what she has to do. It actually stifles her success when I take complete charge of what she does and when. Since I have to somewhat "tell" her what to do, I print out a Mon-Fri list of what needs to be done, and I also made a daily sheet and put it in a sheet protector. Each morning I ask her to decide how & when she wants to get her required work one, and I have her write down her own schedule. Then we have a meeting time together in the afternoon to check what she did and do a couple of subjects which require my one-on-one attention. If she fell short, which happens often, we take a 1/2 hr. or so to go over the things she missed.

 

So, I basically work with the younger kids in the 1st half of the day, and work with her just before finishing time (3-4PM ish). Throughout the day, she'll ask questions or I'll make sure she's on task, but ever since I've had her make out her own daily plan, she's been much better at keeping up with her work load.

[PeterPan]

Cheryl, in addition to all the other great advice you received, I wanted to comment on the scheduling/independence thing. You have things that you WANT to accomplish that you're not accomplishing. I've felt the same thing, wanting to do sewing, etc. You know how we're finally getting it done this year? We're doing a class, hehe. Doing Abeka straight not only can burn you out but it's eating up all your time to do the things you REALLY want to do. Don't let the good (abeka lessons) out weigh the better or best. Make a schedule of your days and trim down till everything really fits that you want in. Be radical and PUT IN those things that are important to you. You like to run? Awesome, put it in the schedule. Want to sew and craft? Carve out two days a week for that. You have to find a routine that fits your values, your family, your goals. For instance, you might like to have everyone arise early, free read for 30 min, breakfast and chores, then meet for group devotions at 8:15 (or 9, or 10, hehe). Ditch that SOS Bible, mercy. Sell it off, unless of course they're loving it. Read the Bible together, do memory work, sing. Then do math and LA (your abeka stuff). Your olders need checklists, weekly or daily, so they can get to work independently. After math and LA are done, have that PE break! Then lunch, history, science, and a rotating elective (sewing two days, art one day, PE or an outside class one day). Give yourself permission to get out of the box!!! If you want to have PE in the morning before schoolwork, do it! If you want the littles to sleep in and the olders to start at 7, cool. Think about how you would really do things if you didn't have Abeka or your preconceived notions breathing down your neck. Live the dream. Ask your dc what THEY would like to do first in the morning if they could. If you start integrating some of what THEY want to accomplish or have been itching to do, it might help. Do less Abeka, more stuff you love. The learning will happen, and you can ramp up later. Now is the time to learn to live together, get along, and enjoy being at home. Once they do that, all the rest will come.

 

BTW, if you're going to continue the Abeka history, combine them and do one or the other, not both. If you're going to do Abeka4, then get Hakim from the library for your older to read. Pull activities they can do together. Look at the Time Travelers cd's, which would be perfect for the ages you have. If you're going to do Abeka6, then get SOTW from the library and read that to your youngers. Ditch the history workbooks (bleh) and get historical fiction from the library. You can use the APPROACH of WTM with any book as a spine. Many people around here use Abeka4, but it's how you use it. ;) I have it and correlated it to the VP cards. So you read little chunks each week along with other books, topical books, historical fiction, and activities. The Abeka/boring book becomes your spine as you unleash any resources you can find, either in your library or online. Instead of bleh workbooks, they do WTM-style writing. Read, then each dc makes notebook pages with illustrations, paragraphs (or sentences) as they are able. The olders read further on topics that interest them and make more notebook pages. So Abeka is fine, if you learn how to use it. It's just bleh if you do it straight the way they intend.

 

Get yourself out of the box. Think about what you would REALLY do if you didn't have someone telling you what to do. Make a list of the things you REALLY wish you were accomplishing. Then start thinking about how realistically to get those things done. They are important, but they WON'T get done by accident or in "spare" time. You have to carve time for them. It will increase your joy. :)

[Julie in MN]

You have lots of good ideas, yeah! Just thought I'd throw in another few that helped me (kids brought home in 3rd & 9th, and never really wanted to homeschool).

 

- Set school hours. School doesn't have to be paperwork all of those hours, but only educational things are done by both your kids and by you. School is an important part of everyone's day. This is the part where you say, "I'm not going to be completely flexible here," to your kids.

 

- Allow some time during the first 4-6 weeks to do "fun school." Math games, decorating notebooks, taking nature walks, watching educational videos, listening to stories on audio. They'll still be "in school" the exact same number of hours, but this is where you say, "There's some fun flexibility about what we do during school hours," especially the elementary kids.

 

- Try to hold yourself back from planning too much. Your time with them is more important than what materials you use. And you'll make better choices later. I'd start out with something already planned for you, or just use something you already have.

 

- Make some goals, as someone else said. It will help all of you see the progress that's been made at the end of the year. Even goals like "getting used to homeschooling" and "narrowing down what works best for this child" can be great achievements! And then there are things that are deeply important to you, such as, "Making prayer a part of every day in my family," or educationally important, like, "Learning where 10 countries are in the world." I like Evaluating for Excellence because she has you just observe and take notes for a while, and then make goals. You can do this type of thing on your own.

 

Best wishes as you begin this adventure!

Julie