MommyRyan Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 ttp://letters.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/10/19/o_hehir_homeschooling/view/index3.html?show=all Read the last comment on this page. It's rather lengthy and a pseudo-psychoanalysis of the homeschooling mother. What do you think!? Wow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 I am actually homeschooling so that my children don't learn that they are the center of the universe. It is one of our top reasons. The rest is hooey. I do know people homeschooling for the "wrong reasons": too lazy to get kids to school or to school them themselves, control freaks, etc. But I don't really know anyone doing it to justify staying home. Of course, I have to agree that someone with 5yos shouldn't be the "face" of homeschooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usetoschool Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 That comment stuck out when I scanned the comments after reading the original post here. I think that woman has all kinds of issues of her own and sounds very angry or bitter or know-it-all or something. How do you even answer something like that? Although shrugging your shoulders and walking away would probably be the best alternative since I doubt she would listen. The whole post was totally factless and emotional. I wonder why people get so worked up about others choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonesloonybin Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 :ohmy::ack2::eek::blink::thumbdown: Wow...I mean really WOW. I don't even know what to say to that complete and total garbage she is spouting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeyNewt Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 I am actually homeschooling so that my children don't learn that they are the center of the universe. It is one of our top reasons. The rest is hooey. I do know people homeschooling for the "wrong reasons": too lazy to get kids to school or to school them themselves, control freaks, etc. But I don't really know anyone doing it to justify staying home. :iagree: I'm here with you! She is putting every homeschooler in the exact same boat -- which doesn't work for any situation about anything. Something about homeschooling is bringing up something inside her that she has yet to resolve and she is just lashing out here. Hopefully since she let it out she is moving on to a higher understanding of homeschooling or just on to something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Yes I quit practicing law so I could gain self esteem and be valued by my community for doing what is considered the option of last resort....You have got to be kidding me. Frankly, it takes a pair of brass ones to voluntarily give up a stellar career and listen to all the idiots who ask why I am wasting my education by hsing... It is delightful to see their faces when I inquire as to why they think that uneducated persons should educate children??! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 I could argue point for point against everything this person said based on personal experiences of home schoolers and grown home schoolers and the moms of grown home schoolers that I know. First of all I would like to point out that I know at least 4 moms of grown home schooled children that have wildly successful businesses or careers. Stacy Womac (someone anyone who can use google can look up, I'm sure) runs ARMS, a very large non profit organization that fights domestic abuse. She has SIX children that she home schooled for religious reasons. All SIX of them are doing much better than average as adults as far as I can see, and all those years of home schooling didn't stop her from running a meaningful ministry. I go to church with a home school mom who started a business when her youngest went to college and it's doing super with many employees even though the economy is so bad. I could go on, but I bet most people here can think of their own examples. This person is just so wildly pessimistic I bet they have swine flue complications right now because they do. I'm just saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Bear Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Yes I quit practicing law so I could gain self esteem and be valued by my community for doing what is considered the option of last resort....You have got to be kidding me. Frankly, it takes a pair of brass ones to voluntarily give up a stellar career and listen to all the idiots who ask why I am wasting my education by hsing... It is delightful to see their faces when I inquire as to why they think that uneducated persons should educate children??! Brava, elizabeth. Well said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheWillFly Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 What stuck out to me was that the tone was not just against homeschooling. It was negative toward any woman who would choose to leave a career and possibly live on one income to be personally fulfilled in their life. Yes, it is possible to be personally fulfilled when you are not doing something for yourself but because it benefits someone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trixie Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Frankly, it takes a pair of brass ones to voluntarily give up a stellar career and listen to all the idiots who ask why I am wasting my education by hsing... It is delightful to see their faces when I inquire as to why they think that uneducated persons should educate children??! :iagree: Yep. Funny how being an educated professional who is educating children is only acceptable when you're receiving a paycheck for it. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Bear Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 A couple of things jump out at me immediately. First, Laurel doesn't seem to recognize that her own education woefully failed her, as she read the original article with an agenda and seems in her writing to be lacking both substantive information and the ability to recognize logic when she encounters it. Second, she's jealous. My sweeping generalization for the day: Only people consumed with envy and possessing the aforementioned inability to read with a critical eye would arrive at her conclusions. She's ill-informed and has committed what is, in my book, the cardinal sin: she doesn't wish to become informed. To whit: "this is about ... young, white, highly-educated women..." What of the statistic that says the fastest growing group within the homeschooling community are families of color? "... who find themselves in early middle age at loose ends...frustrated by their careers, surprised to be bored by full-time work, drawn to motherhood and their own children yet at the same time shamed by this. They were raised to have CAREERS, not be boring SAHMs. So in order to justify what previous generations of women took for granted (staying home to raise small children), they must come up with something really big, really "special", really dramatic to justify quitting work -- HOMESCHOOLING." Sarcastic much? The lady doth protest too much. Poor Laurel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 :iagree: Yep. Funny how being an educated professional who is educating children is only acceptable when you're receiving a paycheck for it. :001_huh: This is how my blood family treats me: as if I'm lower than trash because I'm not contributing to social security. My friends, my "real" family, treat me as if I'm doing something honorable. a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 have to say something. I was\am a professional. There really is something to the idea that people become dissatisfied with their jobs and look for something more fulfilling. I can't say I disagree with that phenomenon, per se, and I do think that being a SAHM and homeschooling mom can feel far more fulfilling than many crappy jobs. But, is that bad? Why the negative tone, if I understand her quote correctly? I think it has to be because working mothers feel as if they get if from all sides. They are judged whenever something goes wrong with their kids, they are pressed (often) by family or spouses to bring home the bacon, they often have unrealistically large parts of the household domestic tasks falling on them. Ask me how I know about this. Still, why lash out at homeschoolers?? It sounds so very very bitter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 (edited) The worst part is she gets to vote. People like her, complete with their bundle of completely unresearched, ignorant and inaccurate opinions that are born out of some negative character quality such as jealousy or bitterness get to help decide legal issues and political leaders! Scary! Edited October 22, 2009 by katemary63 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Bear Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 (edited) have to say something. I was\am a professional. There really is something to the idea that people become dissatisfied with their jobs and look for something more fulfilling. I can't say I disagree with that phenomenon, per se, and I do think that being a SAHM and homeschooling mom can feel far more fulfilling than many crappy jobs. But, is that bad? Why the negative tone, if I understand her quote correctly? I think it has to be because working mothers feel as if they get if from all sides. They are judged whenever something goes wrong with their kids, they are pressed (often) by family or spouses to bring home the bacon, they often have unrealistically large parts of the household domestic tasks falling on them. Ask me how I know about this. Still, why lash out at homeschoolers?? It sounds so very very bitter. Nodding along at the "lashing out" comments. I don't think there's really any (genuine) argument about dissatisfaction with career sometimes translating into a SAHM/D who happens to have chosen homeschooling to educate her/his child. I wonder too, if that can be said to be "bad." I heard a radio show discussion earlier this week that included a recent study that seems to indicate that the index of unhappiness/general dissatisfaction among women has risen since the height of the ERA movement. As you mentioned, this seems to be a result of a still horrendously imbalanced set of home-related responsibilities. My experience bears this out. I think the most damaging aspect of the tone which this particular woman took in her comment is that it stirs up the embers of the Mommy Wars. People defend their position when they feel attacked. People often perceive attack where there just isn't any. Allowing for the emotional overlay of personal experience and all the many pitfalls that provides, I think then we can look at her state of being: misinformed. It's bothersome, and to some degree irksome as I believe it represents a more widespread problem, that she has allowed such a great percentage of her opinion to be formed by things, which while certainly important to her personally, are only easily understood by folks who already have adamantly negative and likely equally biased/misinformed opinions about homeschooling. Her response to the article is in line with someone who percieves an impending attack, one which can really, actually threaten something she holds dear. (Or this could be *my* personal overlay...) And that part? I do not understand at all. If I were working to produce sociopaths, pickpockets, or liars, I could easily concede that the effect my educational choices has on her would be worth society looking into. That my fourth through ninth graders all diagram sentences, parse Latin, recognize red herrings for themselves, and read well above grade level? Not so much. This isn't so easy as public school classrooms = well-rounded citizens. What to do? Well... I believe that unless people are free to figure out for themselves how to manage their options, we all suffer. The Daycare/work vs. SAHMothering debate should not be the emotional bludgeon that it has been. The issue of homeschooling vs. public schooling should not be presented as one option sanctified, ergo another demonized. Even the "doing at all on your own" vs. "using a dangerous government charter school" discussion has veered far from supportable arguments at times. There are just too many variables for folks to judge each other this way. No one can know another's complete experience or all the pertinent details therein. It's our job as humans to be as well-informed and smart about our own choices as possible and then to slay the guilt monster quickly, so we can continue to be well-informed and smart, instead of tied down by the process of second guessing ourselves into a corner. Sorry. I got caught up there. Spun off into a little rant... :) Hope any part of it made sense -- seriously lacking in sleep here. Edited October 24, 2009 by Mama Bear clarity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Bear Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 (Obviously I need to go fixate on something else, which I will, as soon as I finish this:) From Laurel: "We need to address the fact that homeschooling is not about KIDS or what is best for them; it's about PARENTS (usually but not only mothers) who are choosing what is best for THEMSELVES. I suspect strongly it is Mrs. O'Hehir who wants to spend long days at the art museum, or afternoons at the beach, and is trying frantically to find some way to defend doing this. If she simply quit her boring, low-paying, frustrating job and did these things all day, we'd call her a lazy slacker. But let her drag her kids along, and suddenly she's at the vanguard of hip "homeschooling" or "unschooling". Frankly, I think you guys are going down a wrong-headed path here. You should be addressing YOUR WIFE'S issues -- not your kid's adorable playlife -- and what she requires to have both a satisfying career and some reasonable input into your children's education. Maybe it's SHE who needs to go back to school and acquire some credentials in a field she is more excited about than "lefty politics"." Upon reflection, I think she's a troll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 From Laurel: " Frankly, I think you guys are going down a wrong-headed path here. You should be addressing YOUR WIFE'S issues -- not your kid's adorable playlife -- and what she requires to have both a satisfying career and some reasonable input into your children's education. Maybe it's SHE who needs to go back to school and acquire some credentials in a field she is more excited about than "lefty politics"." Upon reflection, I think she's a troll. Well, 867 long letters in reply to Salon articles, all of which have the same tone, and I think she may just be a lonely, tipsy, bitter sports widow rather than a troll. Heck, I like having a satisfying career and reasonable input into my kid's education, but it certainly wasn't about being bored with my job. To me I have two fantastic jobs. One of the pays in love and learning and the more than 20,000 after-tax dollars I'm not spending on the private school for the 1st grade alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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