Moms of new college freshmen: how did it go?

[LynnG in Arizona]

I just got home yesterday from dropping off our eldest daughter at college and really had a nice week overall. After spending last weekend with family, the two of us spent all day Monday and Tuesday shopping and getting organized. We went to Wal Mart, Macy's, and Target (multiple times to the latter!) We also navigated two different college bookstores and got all her books except for one small reference guide. Oh, and we got to meet up twice with her new roommate and the roommate's family.

 

Wednesday morning was her designated move-in day. DD and I just about threw out our backs carrying everything up into her dorm! ;) The room was soooo small, but did at least contain a decent amount of built in shelving and storage. By that afternoon, DD was really ready to have me go. I knew it was coming and recognized the signs . . . and gracefully bowed out. :)

 

I wasn't sure how it was going to feel to leave her, but I feel surprisingly good and strong about it. DD has always been so independent that the last year or two at home were quite difficult. I think she was like an adolescent lion who needs to leave the lion pack before someone is seriously hurt. :) It was just time, and knowing that makes it much easier to accept her absence.

 

I miss her a lot and am mostly dying to know what she is experiencing now in this first week at college. It's such an exciting time in anybody's life! Her classes start on Monday. Wish I could be a "fly on the wall"!!

 

And my fellow homeschoolers will appreciate this . . . I *loved* looking through her textbooks and trying to figure out if I have adequately prepared her. The verdict is that she is probably over-qualified for her Spanish class (woo hoo!), but that college algebra (which sounds so simplistic) is going to be quite challenging. Based on looking at the text, it seems to be the equivalent of an extremely rigorous pre-calculus text, with lots of emphasis on scientific application.

 

How did this go for everybody else? How are you feeling?

[Chris in VA]

Hooo, Boy, I struggled the week before--we were on vaca and left Ds home b/c he had to work. I came home two days before we drove him down, so those days were filled with packing and buying. We actually bought everything he needed in an hour and a half, at Target and Walmart.

 

I have to credit VCU for making move-in extremely easy. They stagger people's move in times alphabetically--He's a "B" last name, so he was first in his room. We pulled up to the curb of the building (12 story hi rise for Frosh), unloaded everything in about 3 minutes (whole family went), and then he went to get his key and check in. There were numerous students in yellow shirts helping with move-in--we didn't even need a cart. There were also many, many alumni walking around, pulling coolers and offering water and granola bars--we were offered stuff at least 10 times! lol We got his stuff up to the 9th floor, I made his bed, he unpacked--easy, peasy. Dh secured his laptop (buy a laptop lock, everyone--great idea) and I attached a 3M Command hook to the inside of his closet door and hung up his laundry bag.

We went for lunch outside--they have a city park across the street, and VCU had put up various inflatable fun things--big slide, "boxing ring," etc and a rock wall. Ds was wayyyy too anxious to play around, but his sibs really enjoyed the fun stuff. We ate burgers and hung out a little. Then we went to the bookstore and helped him get his texts. Actually, he handed his class schedule to the Barnes and Noble student worker bee, and that person found everything lickety-split. Total cost for 4 classes was about $475, used books.

Still has one class he's trying to get in to, and I'm not sure what that text will come to.

 

Dh pulled him aside as we left, telling him to get out of his comfort zone and actually talk to people. Ds is trying to manage anxiety by over-disciplining himself--rigid schedule, etc. We'll see how it goes.

 

We have talked with him once on the phone and I've emailed him a few times. His classes started last Thurs--he has about one a day, some days he has two, including a Saturday class that just meets once a week.

 

I hope he makes it. I miss him, but God gently separated us these past few months when Ds began working full-time, so the ache is not as bad as it was. Plus, my younger son is now home from treatment, which is helpful (and also a challenge).

[JennW in SoCal]

My freshman is living at home and starting community college next week, started his first paid job this past week and is interviewing on Monday for a spring internship at DisneyWorld. It all seems like a natural progression for him and I hadn't really felt the pangs of having him being all grown up until he got on a train last week to go stay with a friend up in LA for a few days. Leaving him at the train station just got to me -- realizing that he is a young adult, independent and capable, and that my primary work with him is all done. I was teary eyed all day!

 

I know what you mean about wanting to be that fly on the wall, wanting to still be intimately connected with all their experiences. And I know what you mean about looking through textbooks -- my ds was getting impatient when we bought his texts because I stopped to look at textbooks for courses my 10th grader has this year!

 

If my ds gets his internship he will be moving across the country and living in Orlando for 10 months! I'll get to experience the emotions and logistics of leaving him at a far away dorm. I think we won't be very disconnected thanks to cellphones, facebook and e-mails. Hard to cut that electronic apron string!!

[StephinAL]

Mine is also living at home and was going to college full time her senior year, so I grieved last year. I layed on her bed and cried her first day. I cried when I pulled out her tab in my homeschool planner. I hope she gets the opportunity to live on campus next semester even though we are 30 minutes away.

[Nan in Mass]

He was at college for pre-sailing-team in June. Then he and his older brother went to Europe. That was something he's been saving for for a long time, and something we were anxious to have go well because we consider it part of his older brother's education, since the older brother hasn't travelled much. Fortunately, they had a wonderful time, except when he sprained his ankle in a dark stairwell racing his brother in the elevator and wound up going to a Polish hospital in the middle of the night. Luckily it was only a not-too-bad sprain. It was definately educational, though GRIN. And I didn't know about it until he came home. Then he came sailing with us for a few days. It felt strange to see him. It hurts so much to think of him gone and I was so carefully not thinking about him that it was odd to have him with us again. Wonderful, though. Then we kept sailing and his brother finished packing him up and took him up to college for orientation and sailing team try-outs. I packed him as best I could beforehand along with helping them both pack for Europe so it wasn't too hard (different sort of travel than his normal kind so he needed a bit of help). It worried me to have him go off when I wasn't there, even though it wasn't the first time, so we went up as soon as we were home again (we only missed by a few days). All my suspisions were correct - he hadn't unpacked anything and all his stuff for rpt was scattered everywhere and the rest of his clothes he'd packed dirty. His roommate was showing up the next morning and he was spread over both halves of the room (which I have to say is a very nice big one, with plenty of storage, for a dorm room, with cool desk chairs that rock!!, which I would have loved). He hadn't even made his bed. Not that I ever made mine when I arrived either; my mother always did that and unpacked my clothes for me and got me settled, even when I wasn't a freshman. Anyway, we got his bed made, ran four loads of laundry, got him a new laundry card because his was broken, got his poster up, put all his stuff away, packed his rpt dufflebag, and took him out to dinner. It was hard leaving him, but at least I had my husband's company for the long drive back. In June, I made the trip alone and it was horrible. It helps that I know he's having a wonderful time sailing and making friends, but it hurts that I know he'll be miserable when rpt starts and I worry greatly about his combining academics with sailing. On the other hand, he's never not combined academics with intense sports training, so I'm probably just being silly... I hope anyway...

 

This week has been very odd. No dog (my comfort these days) because she belongs to my oldest who hasn't left yet. No youngest and remaining child because we gave him a sailboat and he's decided to spend the rest of the summer living on it. No husband because he's trying to make up for being away on vacation for a month (always hard to go from being within arm's reach literally of each other to split up by work). No school because it hasn't started yet. I can't believe how easy it is to do housework and how much of that I've gotten done. I guess the awful state of the house isn't me being lazy afterall, but me being overwhelmed. So far, though, I haven't felt too awful because I've been running away to my parent's house every afternoon and following my mother around. You'd think I was homeschooled : ). I know it is just delaying the weirdness of living our ordinary school/winter lives without my middle one (or my oldest), but having a little more summer isn't so bad, I guess. This is going to hurt even worse than when the oldest went last year and that was awful. His school box is still next to his brother's.

 

-Nan

[LinRTX]

Well mine isn't a freshman but we did take her to college yesterday and drop her off for the first time. She is my second, but my oldest girl. She is also the one that I almost lost at birth and she was rushed to NICU so there is a different connection with her than with the others. She just turned 20 ten days ago and got her Associates degree this past spring, but now she has moved out and into a dorm.

 

She also called this morning at 7:30 completely overwhelmed. Her two suitemates were partying until way late and she is not one to party. She needs her sleep and about midnight put earplugs in so she could get some. She had a headache and wasn't feeling so well because of the lack of sleep. Her older brother works about an hour away and was driving down this morning to spend the day with her.

 

Hopefully once class starts on Monday things wil be different. She does have some adjusting to do. And so do I.

And so does her youngest sister (age 9) who would not talk to anyone for 3 hours after we left her best friend at college.

 

Linda

[Paz]

We took ds on Tuesday to school # 2. I think this time it will be a good fit. He is living in a nice apartment complex with 2 high school friends. My dh fit an amazing amount of furniture and things in ds's small SUV. We followed several hours later in our van. When friend's mother saw how much stuff he emptied from his car she was amazed. When I arrived I cleaned his bathroom, finished putting his clothes away (he was almost finished) and helped set up the rest of his room. He had brought a drill from home and was proud of the way he hung up all the signs and bulletin boards for the apartment. I went and got groceries and I got a list of extra things he needed and his book list and the next day I purchased those. I arrived back at the apartment that morning and he was making pancakes. He was settled in and ready for me to go. I did email him and remind him that classes start Monday. He really didn't know when classes started when I left. It looks like it will be a good year if he can remember that school is 1st and fun is next. Now when dd goes to school I will have to remind her to have fun and not be so serious. :lol:

[K-FL]

Since dd is running cross-country, we dropped her off last weekend (8/16) while the rest of the students don't check in 'till 8/26 incl. her roommates.

 

She is doing great! The campus is walking distance from a very cool downtown area so she's checked that out, plus gone antiquing and to the beach w/some team-mates. Classes don't start until 8/31, but she bought her books on-line so they're waiting for her at the bookstore.

 

The rest of us are adjusting. Dd#2 texts/calls her more often than the rest of us to discuss "stuff." It's amazing how 1 less person changes the volume level in the house. :o)