Sue G in PA Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 As the first day of school approaches (Tuesday), I am getting more and more anxious about sending my 4 oldest back. I've had such issues already w/ dd12's school (and am NOT impressed w/ the school in general), am anticipating one huge math issue w/ ds11's (but besides that am relatively impressed with the school as a whole) and am simly not impressed with the Elementary school either. It is so hard to let go when I am so opposed to the ps system and just don't trust that the education they will get there will be better than the one I could provide (if I were at my best, which I am not right now). Any advice on how to get through this? I know my dc will do well...they are intelligent, well-adjusted and hard-working kids. It's the system I don't trust. Anyone btdt...how did you deal with this? Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afeminame Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Well, Sue, I can't say that I understand what you are going through. However, I know that you can take this situation and make the best of it. So maybe you can't fully homeschool them at this time, but you can work with them at home in the areas that are their weaknesses and build up it's strength. You know that each opportunity that you are around them is always a teaching moment, if you take advantage of it. You will always be their primary teacher...don't fully relinquish that. You be encouraged!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Sue, I just wanted to add my :grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 :grouphug: It's hard putting a child back into "the system." We had to do that with our oldest when the littles were too much of a distraction at home and I could no longer provide the best for our oldest through high school. All I can say is that your kids are likely far more prepared than the other students, and they have parental support at home so they will succeed. Make the most of summertime. It's not easy, but as long as you know you're making the best decision for your children at this moment in time, then try to be at peace with your decision:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I walked a child I mentor (and greatly love) through his high school classes last night at the "open house." It was a chance to meet the teachers, and also figure out where his classes are on a HUGE high school campus. The whole scene puts me off. The students, their language, the clothes, the block scheduling and 10:30 lunch time and especially the 7:15 start time for teenagers. My own oldest son attended this school, so I am familiar with what is good and bad about it, but my son was a pretty good student and how he did in life was up to him. The child I mentor is vulnerable, underprivileged financially (though richly blessed in other ways) and every subject will be a struggle for him. The individual teachers seemed so nice, so "together" so interested in the student I was taking around. He's an ESL student but his classes are mostly just "normal" classes. I was concerned that maybe all the good teachers get the AP classes and he would be stuck with the dregs, but all of them had syllabi they seemed excited about and were also teaching other AP classes. I know there are some poor teachers out there, and some of these may prove disappointing, but overall it was encouraging. I was reminded that most people become teachers because they like kids and like learning. It was nice in some ways. I worry sick about this child, and I felt better because of the individual teachers I talked to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 I can't remember - - is there a reason your kids have to be in school, or were you guys just giving it a try? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue G in PA Posted August 22, 2009 Author Share Posted August 22, 2009 Thanks everyone. I know my kids will be fine...it's me I am worried about! Katilac...we are putting the 4 oldest in school for a number of reasons. The first being that last year was a really, really rough year emotionally for me (depression related issues) and my therapist has recommended I do this so I can regain some solid ground. Secondly, my 2 oldest expressed great interest in going back and dh thought it best for them. Third, my 6yo is showing some real "issues" with anger, possible depression, etc. and I must use this year to focus on him and w/ the older 4 home he tends to get "lost in the shuffle" as they demand so much of my teaching attention. Anyway, not to go on and on...I know it will be "okay". It's just not what I truly "want" even though it is what we all need right now. Does that make sense? And, it's not set in stone and I can pull any one or all of them if it isn't a good "fit". Thanks again for all the encouragement. It's just hard letting go and not feeling like I have failed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 It does make sense. And it makes perfect emotional sense to be worried and a bit sad, even if your head knows that everyone will be fine and that this is what everyone needs. It's going to be different, no doubt - - try not to let the oddities of the school system get to you. Perhaps you could think of it as studying abroad, with your kids getting the chance to observe some of the strange rituals of this foreign land :D. Do what you need to do, and take some time to mourn what you wanted to do. It will be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferdie Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Every education option has advantages and disadvantages. Focus on the advantages during this season. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 (edited) I put 2 of my kids back in school a few years ago. You haven't failed. They will still get a good education (a lot of it thanks to you), and they will tell you about what is going on at school so you all can discuss it. The worst part for me is being tied to the school's schedule and having so much work to do after school, while still homeschooling 2 kids and running the household. Think of it: in a class of 20 students, that meets for less than hour, each student gets 2-3 minutes of a teacher's time. Of course, in reality, they get zero minutes of individual attention. Who do you think is going to have to make up for this? You will! And it will take place at the worst time of day: right around when you have to fix dinner, make sure everyone has had baths, has done their homework, and has understood and learned the material, has clean clothes for the next day, and has packed their stuff up to take back to school, and so forth. It was hardest for me to get used to the schedule imposed on me by the schools. I really hate being forced to wake up at a certain time so the kids can either catch the bus (this year) or be driven to school. It annoys me to have to keep in mind when school gets out when planning my day, and to have to plan trips around the school's schedule. The next hardest thing was training myself not to get upset about all the time wasted in schools and all the bureaucratic nonsense. I am surprised I still have a tongue, I've bitten it so much. I keep in mind that the PS has to take everyone and do a lot of crowd control. I try to not ruminate about what I would change about the system, because I'm not going to do that so it is a waste of time. I have only lived in PA for 6 weeks, so I don't know the situation here. But in MA, it cost me more to send the kids to PS than it did to HS the others (bus fee $600/yr, activity fees $150/per child per activity, school supplies $300/ea, class trip to Washington DC $1000, for example). So that was the worst of it for me. I don't think sending kids to PS is the easy way out. For me, it was more time consuming, aggravating, and expensive than homeschooling. The kids love it. These two are outgoing and enjoy being around the other kids and making lots of friends. The downsides for them are the grading system (homework & participation are part of the grade, which all of us disagree with), many of the classes are boring and move along at a snail's pace, they get practically no personal attention, and the rules were not designed for them. It's kind of ironic that the downsides for them are the actual educational part of school!:D But from their point of view, it is worth it. It won't be so bad, Sue. You'll find out how much you are needed to be an active part of their educational progress, even though they are in school all day. You'll get used to loving each and every day that comes along that they aren't in school, so you can have your life back on your own terms. (I look forward to snow days more than the kids do.) :grouphug: RC Edited August 22, 2009 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkpan Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 We put our oldest 4 in ps for a year several years ago for good reasons, and even though I dreaded it when it started it turned out to be a great year for us. The homework was over the top, but for 3 of my kids they had WONDERFUL teachers and a very positive experience. And I really enjoyed the close time with my littles. And, I was able to get out of the house every day, joined a gym, met friends at the park and had a RELAXING day. There was much to enjoy. My kids are back home because we are all about educating them within the family, but I do not regret that ps year one bit! Focus on the positive things. Enjoy the benefits - because there ARE benefits to quieter, more peaceful days. Boy, did I cook a lot more! And my house was always clean. Not so much, now:tongue_smilie:. Varied experiences are good for our kids. Take this time as a gift and get your strength back. HTH Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 Hi Sue, I can relate--as you know, I had to put Nature Girl in school last year (we are homeschooling this year again, praise the Lord). I, too, was consumed with grief over the decision. I kept going back and forth between hoping she would get some things I couldn't give her, and knowing (and feeling really guilty) it was because of me that she had to go to ps. Two things I noticed--I could pour my heart out here on the boards, and often did, asking for prayer (and getting it, TYVM!!!), but sometimes it was detrimental to my own peace of mind to read threads that were completely pro homeschooling/anti-school. I was already listing in my mind and FEARING the negative effects of public school. I did not need to constantly have those fears reinforced by reading those types of threads. So, my advice is to steer clear of those things--books, websites, blogs, whatever--that may make you question your decision. Allowing yourself to mourn is different from constantly wishing things were different. That can block off the joy that God can provide even thru a less than YOUR ideal situation. Another thing I had to stop was constantly taking my mood from the mood of my child--that's an awkward way of saying that I would get upset (and try not to show it) if she came home with any critical words about her school. She was a little discouraged in math, and did not like to do projects for social studies, for example. The first few times, I agreed that the projects were not very beneficial, stupid, etc, instead of supporting her need to get them done and transforming them into learning experiences. She was focused on the time limit, and I hate that part, personally--so we were both in a funk. I learned quickly to help her manage her time, and to support her teacher so that Nature Girl could rest in her teacher's authority. The projects really weren't dumb, just different from what we were used to. Wishing you the best, as always. HTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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