Scheduling your teenagers

[springmama]

Do you give your teens lots of flexibility when completing their work? Do you give them until a certain time in the day to do that day's assignments or do you give them a list for the week and let them turn it all in on Friday?

 

What advice do you have for dealing with a teen who would likely put it all of til the last minute and risk not getting it all done in time.

 

In public school, my daughter would forget until the last minute, or assume an assignment would take less time and then wait til the night before to do it. The results were pretty ugly sometimes and I'd like to avoid that this year now that we are homeschooling.

 

So, if you have a less motivated student...what has worked well for you?

[MamaT]

I gave my son a lot of leeway last year for 9th grade. It didn't work. He had a schedule for the week and would end up working on the weekends, carrying over to the next week, etc. It was very stressful for me.

 

This year I have given him a daily schedule and have told him that I will grade anything turned in late down one letter grade. He dad is backing me up on this. He also will not be able to use his computer, phone, TV, X-box, etc. until all his work for that day is done.

 

He really is a good kid, just not great at time management. He is my over-the-top people person. :001_smile:

[JennW in SoCal]

I don't know. I think there is a lesson to be learned in putting things off until the last minute -- that things do take longer than you think and your work isn't as good as it could be when it is rushed. It is how most of us were in college, wasn't it? (Fess up, now, you pulled some all nighters to finish a paper or study for an exam!) And many jobs are deadline driven, so you have to produce under that stress -- some people thrive on it.

 

My goal with high school work is to prepare my dc for college, so I try not micromanage their days because they will be managing on their own in college. I do weekly lists, but I talk with them all week long, asking them if they've thought about how they are going to get through a project, if they have been whittling down their reading lists. They know I'm only available for math and discussions for a limited time during the day so we have to schedule in that time each day. If Friday is coming around and I know they aren't done, I ask them what they are going to do to about it, and they make time to get it done -- sometimes on Sunday night, but that is what their ps peers are doing too. It is human nature, and they have to learn to deal with it in their own way. Sometimes they hammer out a paper at the last minute and they know full well it isn't great and that they can do better. They wind up having to do more editing and rewriting, so they figure out the error of their ways.

 

Outside classes often help with motivation, but I hate it when those outside teachers don't enforce deadlines!!

 

Actually, I do weekly lists, but I'll have certain things due and certain tasks planned on specific days so it isn't all done on Thursday night. They've had to face missing a favorite tv show when they put off the day's school work or have had to put up with my dh harassing them if he finds them doing math when he gets home from work! It is the reading and some of the bigger writing assignments that my kids really tend to put off, so that is where those conversations about planning come into play.

 

Now I need to bookmark what I've written here and see how it plays out this fall!! It's worked before, but my younger son may yet make me eat my words, LOL!

[Peela]

I check with my two kids every year how they want me to schedule them. My 13yo likes a fairly tight schedule, even with times. I dont do times because he actually ends up freaking out if something comes in during the day to disrupt him.

15yo doesn't want a weekly list.

 

So for both, I make up a weekly chart, with a list of subjects per day. They know though, it's up to them if they don't get to something one day, they need to do it by the end of the week. And, if they double up on one subject one day (do 2 lessons) they can skip it the next day.

They can choose what order to do things in, but we usually start with maths and LA.

 

I sit in the room with them. I have my computer in here. I dont just let them get on with it, and go off and clean my house or visit friends. I am right here, available for answering questions, support, keeping them on track, and to minimise the throwing of paper aeroplanes at each other.

[CherylG]

I love this place! You just made me feel somewhat less burdened. I was sitting here overwhelmed by next year already...and I haven't thrown in that our oldest daughter getting married into the mix. I had just taken away my 15 yo. son's phone and itouch for not following through on something and was just threatening no chess for the rest of the school year if he didn't start stepping up. (He's ranked 5 in the state for his age- so that's huge for him) Since there was no more drama (from me than that) he went into his room to do what I had initially asked him to do and then asked, "do colleges like well-rounded students?" He only focuses and does well on what he loves...the rest he tends to treat as drivel to be swept under the scheduling mat, as quickly as possible. Now he just asked if there was a way to figure out your gpa by hand. Thank God. He is starting to possibly plan ahead. The older two I had to encourage them to stop studying and start living. Just goes to show that they are all individual.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I allowed a LOT of freedom with my daughter. We would discuss fairly long deadlines like "through chapter 4 by Nov 11th" for each course. She could make her own planning as detailed or free as she wished. As long as she met the big goal, I was happy.

 

But my son isn't ready for that.

 

We use a Donna Young weekly planner. I write down what is to be done each day. He is allowed, of course, to do things early which he sometimes chooses to do to make Wednesdays and Fridays easier, even to get Fridays off (not sure if that will happen this year).

 

Anyway, the rule here is that he can play video games, play on the computer, watch tv, talk on the phone, go visiting, etc after his work is complete. So he's pretty motivated to get the work done so he can get on with his life.

 

I probably do need to, maybe 2nd semester<?>, try something looser. Maybe since college classes meet 2-3 times per week, I could make goals that long (or at least look that long) like math could say "Lessons 14-16 by Wednesday." Obviously, he'll still probably do 1 lesson per day, but he'll have more choice such as to do it all Wednesday (if he's crazy! LOL).

Edited August 11, 2009 by 2J5M9K

[creekland]

Mine have a lot of freedom as I feel it's the best preparation for college and life. I want them to make their mistakes now... There are consequences we hold them to if they aren't finished on time (generally not getting to go to 'fun' things so they can stay home and complete their work).

 

It's worked VERY well. One does have to hold to the consequences as they will be tested - at least ours were. Once tested and found to be valid it didn't happen again.

 

Our 'schedules' were quarterly... and based on completing the whole coursework for each subject over a year. Beyond that, I let them decide. At the end, they were doing things on a weekly schedule themselves (more or less - some quicker, some slower as their preference went). I also let them be 'done' as soon as they finished the annual work - other school days were to be 'field days.' No one completely finished ahead of time, but some subjects were done with a couple of weeks left.

 

For what it's worth, we tried it with our 7th grader too, but he wasn't mature enough (yet) to handle it, so we had to prod him more. I honestly believe it was more about his age and maturity. We'll try again this year, but will also watch him more closely as he'll probably need more 'encouragement' along the way.

[springmama]

Thanks so much for the responses. I think I'll give her some freedom and if she proves to be unable to handle it, I'll tighten the reigns as needed.

[TravelingChris]

I gave my daughter too much freedom last year and she is still working on finishing the year. SHe is a hard worker and doesn't goof off much but I will institute more general deadlines this year. Anything that had a deadline she did meet.

[Linda1951]

and it gets graded at the end of the day. She does math with her dad, science experiments on weekends. She does know how to study which I am very grateful for, she knows she cannot take forever to turn in her work. She hears kids in youth group complain all school year long about how much they have to do, but they donot know how to manage their time.

[Faithr]

I let my teens kind of define their own schedules as we start a new academic year but then I give them oversight and make sure they are doing what they set out to do. Lots of times they need to rethink stuff (my 17 yo is notorious for not allowing enough time to really do something). I find myself more of a coach (sometimes nag!) but I do think it is important for teens to learn to take responsibility for themselves. It is a learning process though, just because they fail at it at first doesn't mean I should take it away from them. I think working on it together is best; open communication, clear expectations and all that!