Do you have a child like this? xpost

[LadyAberlin]

I was told I should post this over here.:001_smile:

 

My ds is 5.5 and he is really smart and has been highly interested in human anatomy and botany for many years. He wants to be an eye doctor. But he is extremely hyper. I've tried to take him to a homeschool music class and they dance to the music and act songs out etc. But that just winds him up and he can't calm down. Others will be twirling and he is like a tornado and bumps into people and pays no attention to it. He has a lack of empathy when people get hurt and and shows no remorse when he is disciplined. It doesn't matter the type of punishment. He wants to know how long it will last and that is all he cares about. Also if another adult besides me and sometimes with me tries to grab his arm to calm him down and talk to him about his behavior he generally is flailing about and doesn't even seem to register what is being said to him. Sometimes he will purposely make his face into the blank look and and do this blank stare so it seems like he isn't even listening to what you are saying. He really likes other children, but he doesn't understand personal space and is always wanting to hug or tickle them or sit right next to him and he doesn't get that they don't want him draped on them unless they flat out push him away and tell him to stop and even then sometimes that doesn't work. Also when he was an infant he wouldn't make eye contact and we discovered he was being overstimulated by me having either the TV on or the radio for background noise. Once I started keeping the house quiet he started making eye contact. Anyway I don't want to make him out to be a monster. I love him even with all these oddities. But I kind of figured he'd out grow this and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. My younger son who is almost 3 is very remorseful when in trouble and seems to understand people better than my oldest and so it is really starting to make my older son's issues stand out much more. Has anyone dealt with a child like this? How have you handled it and is there anything in particular that seemed to work really well when dealing with these issues?

Thanks:bigear:

[8filltheheart]

He has many of the classic behaviors that are typical of kids on the autistic spectrum. My 17 yo Aspie was very much like that when he was little.

 

There are numerous websites where you can read about Aspergers and evaluation type quizzes you can do to help determine if you should seek an outside evaluation.

[Verity]

Lady Aberlin,

Many of the things that you describe sound very familiar to me. I have a son with Sensory Processing Disorder and also a hint of high functioning autism/Asperger's - if you haven't heard anything about either of these I would highly recommend some reading. I'm not saying your son has either of these but the expression of behaviors is definitely familiar. With my oldest son he doesn't *feel* (physically) things the way most other people do and his body craves more sensation (the bouncing off of people, spinning, etc...) I would recommend a reading The Out-of-Sync Child, http://www.out-of-sync-child.com/ you can probably get it at your library. This book describes and explains the different kinds of sensory processing disorders and you can look at the checklists to see if this may fit. If it does then I would ask my ped for a referral to a physical or occupational therapist for an evaluation. What I've found with my son is that when I meet his needs for body pressure, spinning, jumping that he is much calmer, able to focus and more pleasant overall. We are new on this journey as well but it's made a huge difference for me to understand what his individual needs are in this area. http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/

 

The lack of remorse thing takes me back to thinking about autism/Aspergers. It may be that he feels some remorse but doesn't know how to express himself with facial cues that typical children pick up so quickly. Or there may be some disconnect in his understanding, only you and a doctor or therapist may be able to answer that question. http://www.aspergers.com/ Most children with Asperger's are highly intelligent and can have very rich lives but need some supports to learn social behavior and cues. Again, I'm not an expert, just a mom and a teacher. :)

 

I will check back to read other's input as well. Good luck!

[TraceyS/FL]

I agree..... pick up a copy of The Out of Sync child.

 

:grouphug:

 

Check your PM too.

[LadyAberlin]

Thanks for the advice. I'll see if my library has a copy. Has anyone used the workbox system with a child like this? My ds likes check lists, but I think he would do better with something more visual since he is still learning to read.

[LadyAberlin]

I looked at the check list and he seems to have most of the behaviors in the Hyposenitivity to touch and Hyposensitivity to movement he has sensory seeking behaviors and has some of the qualities of Hyposensitivity to smells: For example he likes to smell people and is partial to the smell of my dh's sweat and armpit oder which my dh and I have discussed as really odd in the past.

[Jennefer@SSA]

But I kind of figured he'd out grow this and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. My younger son who is almost 3 is very remorseful when in trouble and seems to understand people better than my oldest and so it is really starting to make my older son's issues stand out much more.

 

This is when I really clued in to how much my son was different from other kids, too. My sons has been diagnosed as having Asperger's and severe ADHD. He also has SPD. Actually my youngest is starting to show many signs of SPD as well. Sigh.

 

The recs you got about the Out of Sync Child are excellent. The earlier (and often the more intense) the intervention the better chance of rewiring the brain.

[MamaSheep]

I smiled when you mentioned an interest in human anatomy since we went through that in a BIG way when ds was four. He was especially interested in the bones and we had hours and hours of fun memorizing the names of all the bones in the skeleton and playing games using them. (I'm tickling your scapula with my phalanges, Mom! Mom, tie my cape on over my clavicals! Listen, my sternum is a drum!) And much of the rest of what you said sounds a LOT like my son when he was younger.

 

I would agree with what seems to be the general consensus here that you may want to have your son evaluated for Asperger's. His high intelligence, focused interest on topics that are a bit unusual for his age, and troubles with social skills are all textbook symptoms. "Aspies" almost always have sensory integration issues as well, and don't respond to standard disciplinary techniques the same way most other kids would.

 

I can definitely relate to what you said about thinking he'd grow out of it, only it doesn't get better as he gets older. Just the fact that you're this on top of it tells me you're a great mom. I would definitely get him evaluated, as that would give you some good, solid information about what you're working with and how to approach parenting with your son. If he is diagnosed with Asperger's that just means that his nervous system works in ways that are different from a "typical" person's nervous system, from cognitive thinking to emotional responses to processing sensory input. But that's definitely not all bad. Challenging sometimes, but fascinating and amazing in good ways a lot of the time too. Understanding more about how their nervous systems work is a LOT of help, though, when it comes to things like discipline and social interactions. Some things will come naturally to him that other people spend a lifetime of hard work to learn. Other things that most people seem to learn just by osmosis will need to be specifically taught. One hard part is that the science in this area is still very "young", so you'll find that the "experts" out there often disagree with each other about what is going on and why. But there is a lot of information out there, and much of it is helpful once you learn to recognize what applies to your particular child and what doesn't so much.

 

At any rate, hugs to you from a mom who's been where you describe. I may be totally off base, but it sounds to me like you're about to embark on a truly fascinating journey with your son.

 

The Out Of Sync Child that has already been recommended is a good one for sensory issues. For social skills issues I'd recommend having a look at the stuff at www.socialthinking.com. Hers is one of the best philosophies I've seen out there on this subject.

[Renai]

That was my daughter. She knew about all types of plants inside and out- she should have, she studied them for over a year. From the age of 4. She had specific books and videos (adult) from the library that she had practically memorized. (Wow, she's really smart!)

 

No empathy from a young age. None. I remember studing early childhood education and wondering why my toddler could just watch another toddler cry, then ignore them and keep playing (toddlers were supposed to be empathetic, no??).

 

The energy acceleration thing- I used to describe it as, she would absorb all the energy of everyone around her, then it would come exploding out in all directions at once. (ADHD?)

 

She was sensitive to stuff. It took me a while to figure out that it wasn't taking a shower that she didn't like, but the fact that the water touched her face. We only have a shower. She screamed bloody murder during every shower for 3 years. It took me that long to also realize that the vacuum didn't scare her, it was painful to her. (SPD?)

 

She had no sense of anyone's personal space. None. Till she was almost 7 (when we changed her diet). She'd hug on someone trying to get away from her, and she'd never notice the rejection. Strangely enough, as an infant, and even getting older, she hated anyone really touching her if she hadn't initiated it. That included mom. She didn't want my hugs. (Just plain strange?)

 

It got to a point in her general behavior that she would cry because she couldn't control herself.

 

I was hanging out on the WTM boards, but hadn't paid much attention to the special needs forums. I started paying attention, and came across the Feingold Diet. We had to do something, and spectrum disorders never crossed my mind. It took me a few months of research before going for it.

 

After 3 weeks, she went to the pool, and she put her head under the water.After a month, I noticed more differences, but dh wasn't so sure. Until he served her grape juice. The effect lasted two days. He was convinced. She gradually got a little better with sensory issues; she's still an energetic child, but not out of control; I did have to re-teach her social cues (yes, at the age of 7- honey, do you see how she's pulling away? At that point, you need to LET HER GO. Better yet, ask before touching someone.) She's still in training (aren't all children), we still watch her diet. In fact, we'll be doing elimination again to reassess her. Here's a blog entry I made after her diet change http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/creativeplay/538387/.

 

I'm not saying this to rule out other issues, this was just our experience.

[Misty]

I have kids with Asperger's and everything you said was very familiar.. That's not to say that your son has Asperger's, but he could have a few pieces of the Asperger "puzzle". You would have to get a full evaluation to see if he has enough for a diagnosis.

 

My oldest Aspie daughter used to do the climbing on people and a lot of the sensory seeking stuff like that. She is a huge mix of hypersensitive and hyposensitive. So is my 6yo daughter (my most severe Aspie).

 

Also, I am getting ready to start doing workboxes with all four of my children. I think it will work out great for them.. The only thing I'm afraid of is finding the time each evening to fill boxes for four different kids!

 

Oh, and if you'd like to learn more about Asperger's, there are two active yahoo groups for homeschooling kids with Asperger's. The Christian group is called HomeschoolingAspies and the secular group is called ASYouLikeIt.

 

Good luck!

[Renai]

 

Also, I am getting ready to start doing workboxes with all four of my children. I think it will work out great for them.. The only thing I'm afraid of is finding the time each evening to fill boxes for four different kids!

 

I forgot about this part. When we use workboxes, it works great! Once you get into the habit, it goes faster (using the experience of others that have more than one).

[Lovedtodeath]

 

Has anyone dealt with a child like this?

YES! :grouphug: She has progressed a lot this last year and I haven't done much of anything, to be honest. :blushing: But last year I was posting for help saying that ALL she does is annoy someone all of the time. She still gets too hyper and annoying when around other kids, but it isn't every time.

[Lovedtodeath]

 

I looked at the check list

Whre exacly?:bigear: I haven't been able to get suggestions that specific anywhere. I always get "see an OT".

[LadyAberlin]

Whre exacly?:bigear: I haven't been able to get suggestions that specific anywhere. I always get "see an OT".

 

 

The link posted above that says sensory processing disorder. Click on that and then look to the left of the web page and you will see a list and one of the choices is symptoms check list.HTH!