Am I crazy to think that a school setting will help my ds socially??

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

My ds is 7 years old and currently we do cyber school at home:) He is socially akward and possible very mild asperger's. The only recommendations we recieved was for a social skills group which I am looking into. I also use social skills dvds with him and many small group activities such as youth group, choir, boy scouts, homeschool co-op, sunday school, soccer, etc.

 

He has a hard time fitting in and is not a social butterfly like my nieces and nephews. He is very intelligent and definately geeky like his parents;)

 

My main concern is will it benefit him to attend a small, one-room private schoolhouse socially. The school is modelled after the TWTM and has one teacher with other teachers helping for 1st to 8th grade. They only take up to 18 students. I am only wondering if it will help him to be around kids all day...

 

I struggle with this since I question all of my efforts since I have still not found a friend or two for him to see on a regular basis despite doing every activity known to man:tongue_smilie:Although, I am encouraged since we have finally had play dates with 3 other moms and hope to continue to do so.

 

Intellectually I know that school was a disaster for me socially and that I had a hard time fitting in as a geeky, smart kid as well. However, I cannot help but wonder if a small school like the one above might benefit him more.

[Orthodox6]

I am mother to an Asperger's 15-year old who has attended a small private school since he turned 8. It turned his life around, and I do not exaggerate. Homeschooling him would have been unfair to him, and would have prevented him from turning into the popular, well-adjusted young man he is today.

 

If you post your question over at the Special Needs sub-board, you will receive replies from moms who successfully are homeschooling their Asperger's children. You will want to read their helpful input.

 

We strongly suspect that I (as well as my brother) have "undiagnosed" Asperger's. I was a "high-achiever, academically outstanding, socially klutzy" child and teen, too. (but with many friends and activities, which helped enormously)

 

Your son's psychiatrist probably is pushing public school, if I were to guess. The small school you describe sounds very worth considering. Just make sure that the teacher/staff are sufficiently familiar with Aspergers and will demonstrate the constant patience needed with your son.

 

I just reread your post, and am highly impressed by the effort you are putting into assisting your son. You are doing a fabulous job already ! :)

[OhM]

The school is modelled after the TWTM and has one teacher with other teachers helping for 1st to 8th grade.

 

When I ready the thread title, I was prepared to tell you all about my extremely shy (debilitatingly so) daughter who has really flourished since we took her out of ps to homeschool. (The problem now seems to be her friends' parents who just can't let her drop the "shy" label, even though she's nothing like that now - but that's another story.:D)

 

But your situation seems completely different, and the option you have sounds FANTASTIC! Even before considering homeschooling, I had wished for a one-room school opportunity for my kids. I like the idea on so many levels, and to find one based on TWTM would be awesome.

 

It sounds like a great opportunity. I would probably try it for a semester and make a decision from there.

Edited July 15, 2009 by OhM
apostrophe

[BamaTanya]

and school has been a mixed bag for him.

 

We found 2 different situations through the years that were WONDERFUL. Helped him grow and mature and make friends . . .

 

Last year (ps middle school) was a disaster and we are homeschooling him again.

 

Your possible situation sounds very unique.

 

Is your ds interested? Is it financially feasible? (There was a place in a private school for ds last year, but the money/logistics didn't work out . . .)

 

With our ds, we have been unable to predict how a situation would work for him until we tried it. Can you do this on a trial basis?

 

I would certainly consider it if I were in your place, but I would leave the homeschooling opportunity open if needed.

[Mom0012]

Getting my son into a social skills group helped him tremendously. He has friends and is happy. In general, I wouldn't think school would be a place where he would thrive, but the situation you have sounds very special and something I would definitely consider if it were available to me.

 

Lisa

[hsmamainva]

My 7yo LOVES public school. She has autism but she's very social (although her conversational skills are delayed, she loves to talk to other children).

 

It's been an adjustment for me, as we've been a homeschooling family for 15 years (my oldest was homeschooled PreK through 12th and graduated in May), so every year, I toy with the idea of homeschooling her, but....she loves school. She loves everything about it. The school bus, the lunchbox, the worksheets, her picture schedule, etc.

 

She's in a special autism class for part of her day (she's the only verbal child in a class of 6 students) where she does math (using Singapore math, btw!) and they work on her speech and language skills and do occupational therapy.

 

Then she's in a regular class for language arts, science, and social studies.

 

This year, they hope to add in specials (PE, library, art, etc.)

 

Her teachers and therapists are fantastic and she has a one-on-one aide during the day to help with transition and to assist her when she needs help.

[Orthodox6]

If the situation proposed were a public school, I would agree that the prospects are dim.

 

In the right private school, however, I strongly believe that an Asperger's student can thrive. By God's grace, my son is in a private school, K-12, 125 students maximum. Every student there has Asperger's, ADHD, bipolar, NVLD, something else, or multiple-grouping of the foregoing. They all gain priceless skills in adjusting to each other, in managing themselves, and in just being happy kids while securing a college-prep education.

 

Getting my son into a social skills group helped him tremendously. He has friends and is happy. In general, I wouldn't think school would be a place where he would thrive, but the situation you have sounds very special and something I would definitely consider if it were available to me.

 

Lisa

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I think that I particularly struggle since my ds is an only child plus I am an almost 50 year old mom who does not know a plethora of other moms with kids my ds age. I have been working on it though for many years now:tongue_smilie:

 

 

In my heart I believe that homeschooling is a great opportunity both academically and socially. However, I would definately feel better if my ds had a couple of friends/ I am more optimisitc on the friend part though. I also know that public school, parachial school, and prep school was a disaster for me socially. However, maybe this one room schoolhouse might be a unique situation for my ds. We did try a montessori type school for part of last year and public school for part of kindergarten. Both situations were not ideal for him. :sad: He felt like he was being teased in the public school and could not focus in the montessori school.I guess I am fearful that trying the one room schoolhouse may not work out and I do not want to do anything detrimental to my ds. I do not want him to be disappointed.

[Jean in Newcastle]

A note about the one room schoolhouse. I went to one for elementary school. If it is truly a one room schoolhouse with only one teacher for all 18 kids then it will be a fairly chaotic environment at times. The teacher will probably have schedules printed up for each grade level. The kids will work independently much of the time while she is working with other classes. If a child needs help while the teacher is busy, then an older child or someone in the same class who understands the material will help. Some subjects like art and music will be done all together. Now I don't know this school's set-up but hopefully this might trigger some questions about how they manage their day.

 

If your son cannot work independently or if he is easily distracted, it probably would not be the best learning environment for him.

[Melinda in VT]

Does the school provide any social skills work or social coaching? That for me would be more important than whether the school was public or private, large or small.

 

My kids are in our local public school, and all of them (so far) have had years where they have had social issues. The school takes a two-pronged approach--lots and lots of emphasis on creating a good social atmosphere (class meetings, class instruction with school counselor, etc.) AND small group or 1-1 work with kids who need extra help with social skills.

 

For example, I had a child with no concept of personal space. So although the teachers didn't allow teasing, it was understandable why other kids avoided sitting next to this child in circle time. Who wants to be flopped into? The child in question had coaching and help to control the behaviors that were causing problems.

 

I would want to observe the school to get a sense of how much supervision/coaching the students receive.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I am also worried that I am waffling about homeschooling because he is an only child who is a little socially akward. I think that I have a little of the old socialization in schools only brainwashing left in me;) I pray that I can make the right choices for him.

[Dobela]

If it is a small private school, I can see where it might work. The problem I would look out for is teasing and such by the other kids. While we didn't attend a one room school, we attended a small school and my brother was never able to move beyond the reputation of those first years. I would also want to talk to the teacher and see how receptive she is. How would she handle known quirks? Has she had any experience with children who have aspergers? and so on...

 

Another idea is to do school half day and do homeschool the other half of the day. If he comes home at lunch or just after, you could cover any subjects he would miss. That way he could have the best of both worlds :)