Seriously? Your 20-year-old had snap chat nine years ago? The parent of a 13-year-old would have had a 4-year-old nine years ago. This is indeed all new to them.

This stuff is new, and it's changing all the time. Even the best of parents have other kids, jobs, responsibilities... There really needs to be an information campaign, rather than assuming folks are just going to suss this out on their own.

Oh absolutely, yes, honest discussion is what we should all be shooting for in every situation. I'm just ruminating on some standard that, even if circumnavigated, would be the line in the sand said child would *know* they are crossing. Like how we all know shoplifting or cheating on a test is wrong. Families usually discuss this. It is very common for kids to take a crack at it anyway. That's the sort of thing I mean. Big generalities.

Sopris West REWARDS Reading program

After thinking through the last thread and this one with all of you, maybe the general wisdom that should be in circulation is to treat independence and devices similarly to driver's ed. Our province has a graduated licensing program, with a one year learner's license and a two year restricted license.The first few years of any social media use should be done with as much parental oversight as possible. We all know that maybe, but the specifics need to be ramped up - all texts, etc are copied to the parent's device, or they have access to the icloud or whatever technological solution makes sense. And it should be viewed in much the same way that new parents are not allowed to leave the hospital without a properly fitted car seat - it's just a safety standard for society. Period. The same way that rethinking positive parenting can mean some parents swing too far and end up unparenting, so too much focus on privacy, not differentiating between younger teens and older teens, can swing too far into dangerous territory, and it's time to find the middle ground.

:iagree:

I've seen this comment a few times now. There is a book, somewhat popular on this forum, titled "How to Read a Book". Counselling can essentially be long conversations about how to talk to each other. It's really not that different, is it?

This is a really important distinction that often seems to get missed - there is a really big difference between even 13 and 15.

If you two wanted to post some links to this easily available information, to people of all income levels who may not have apple products, that would be helpful.

I wish.

Um Farrar, on topic? Thread title, article title? People DO know there is porn on the internet, it's the rest of the effect on rewiring brains? Remember?

It pisses me off, frankly. Try an online search for ways a parent can monitor their child's online activity. All I get are "feel good" pieces about having honest discussion with your child and giving them privacy. Sorry, but that tone is NOT helpful. You're basically poo-pooing very real, very necessary concern.

I agree with everything you said, except parts of your last paragraph. People simply don't act, it is a ton of work, without some pretty healthy motivation. Once they see the need, though, yes working from a less panicky place is better. But you actually need to act.

The problem I see is that the draw to be a bit more peer-oriented happens, and then all bets are off.

THIS information needs to be universally available to parents.

Yes, deleting a web browser seems like a complete non-starter to me. One of my kids self-educates so much using YouTube. And nearly everything you do on a smartphone can be done on a laptop or ipad, so that makes no sense, either. She *does* touch on anxiety, though: I didn't realize this article was popular, but the reason is probably because this conversation is NOT universally happening. You may be well aware of the social media dangers to rewiring brains, but many are not. I see it as a start.

Tech has developed well ahead of society's ability to adapt, with a spectrum ranging from thoughtlessness to downright contempt for a parent's role in a tween's/teen's development.

I'm wondering how on earth to balance budding independence and this unmoderated arena, because I agree, just saying your kids can never go online is not really a solution.

I can't begin to express how much I have hated badly fumbling through this new frontier.

Yes, the optimism, that if she does it right her kid can avoid these things, is a common theme of bloggers who have yet to run the gauntlet of parenting kids all the way to adulthood. That said, this is a salient point:

https://medium.com/@anastasiabasilcunningham/porn-is-not-the-worst-thing-on-musical-ly-5df07ab842af is a well-written summary of social media dangers, IMO. I don't believe her solutions to be workable, though. I do love that this topic has been tackled so well.

Pizza - pineapple, yes or no

I usually just roughly ratio all the other ingredients in a recipe to match the meat, but I'm not a very disciplined cook, lol. I do still end up with odd bits and pieces, though. Leftover chicken breast could make a nice sandwich or get chopped up in a salad - mmm, chicken Caesar. Chicken sausage might be nice in an omelette or with some scrambled eggs. Pork chop - that would be a good meal for one person. If I have to leave one person alone, they can bbq something like and add some frozen perogies or a baked potato to make it an easy meal.

I heart raisin bread. Too much of any dried fruit does not love me back... I try to be a little considerate and eat it very infrequently.

We've talked about similar ideas before, being proud of and backhandedly praising our "nerdy" kids. I have one of those and am proud of how out of touch he chooses to be with the dark side of SM. I expect Jean's post might have come across better if prefaced with something like "Brag alert". Parenting young teens in the age of social media is exhausting for some of us, like the OP, so yes, that conversation reported the way it was can come across as dismissive. If you read all of her posts however, she's pretty genuine in stating her family's situation. It would be nice to put the pitchforks away.