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Everything posted by AlmiraGulch

  1. Oh my gosh I could not possibly agree with you more! I'm in graduate school with 2 weeks left in this class, then one more and a thesis and I'm DONE. Honestly? I hate every single minute of it.
  2. I've was on Pristiq for just under a year after coming off of Lexapro It was great for me. No weight gain, no libido issues, and it definitely does the trick. I actually weaned off a couple of months ago and I'm not not taking anything at all. A friend of mine had some medical issues after being on Effexor for years and was switched to Pristiq and she also has had good things to say.
  3. :iagree: I often think the exact same thing! s*x p*rn booKs It isn't as if we don't all know exactly what we're referring to...
  4. Some of things things sound so special! Congratulations to all of you, especially the OP, on your milestone anniversaries. Count me in as another who did Hawaii for my 10 year anniversary. Actually, we cruised all of the Hawaiian islands and it was one of the best trips we took during our marriage. The BETTER trip we took was the following June (our Anniversary was in September) to the courthouse to finalize the divorce. Done. Done. Done. :tongue_smilie: P.S. My ex and I actually get along quite well and are MUCH better as former spouses than we ever were at being married, w
  5. :iagree: Your review reflects my feelings about the movie perfectly.
  6. Ok, I'm going to say this one more time... I did not and have not punished my child for feeling sexual, for maturbating, or even for looking at pornography, or reading erotica. And now I'm done engaging with you, because you obviously have no interest in hearing a word I'm saying, but only in pushing your own agenda. And for those of you who have had nice things to say about how I've interacted with others (primarily this poster), I've now deviated from my higher road. Sorry to disappoint you!
  7. Interesting point of view, but man, are you ever off base. You seem intent on deciding for yourself what my relationship is with my child regardless of what I say. It seems that you are quite bothered by the fact that a) we happen to have differing opinions on some things (and really, I suspect, not as different as you have somehow come to believe), and b) I will not necessarily choose to implement your suggestions. Ok. You're entitled.
  8. I will not allow my "poor child" open access to pornography on the internet, and I do not consider erotica to be appropriate reading material for a 13 year old. She gets "information" from me directly. We talk quite openly about sex and sexuality. She also has an open door relationship with one of her aunts in case there is any subject she feels too uncomfortable to talk about with me. So far, she has not felt the need to go that route. The original purpose of this post was to ask opinions and advice about whether or not her interest in porn may perhaps go beyond what is "normal" fo
  9. First of all, I did not express irritation when you suggested that she has too much alone time. I simply stated that you are incorrect. I believe I made that clear when I posted a direct response to you. Perhaps you didn't read that one... I also have never given any indication of what I would or would not do with the material that she found. You are making assumptions for which you have no basis. I have never implied that my child is "deviant." If you actually read what I've written, you will see that I've told her time and time again that her interest in the material is perfectly
  10. You bring up excellent points! I didn't freak out at all, and in fact tried to reinforce that her feelings are very normal. We've had a couple of very good, gentle discussions about it at this point, and while I'm angry about the disobedience and violation of my trust, I'm in no way angry that she's feeling sexual. Included in our discussions both in the last couple of days and even when I found her internet "research" previously have been very frank conversations even about self-gratification. She's very clear about why I am angry. I was seeking advice initially on how others may have h
  11. I hear you, Tara, and I can see why you might think that, although it just isn't the case. It's not at all about "you hurt me so I'm going to hurt you." Rather, it's the exact consequence I told her would happen if she repeated that behavior. It would have been the same regardless of whether it had been my things or her sister's. I have certainly re-evaluated, though, especially considering the number of people who have expressed concern about that particular choice. I asked for and value everyone's opinion. I have had much to think about and ponder and I am grateful that I've had
  12. Wow, Stripe...I'm sorry that you feel I've been hostile. In fact, I've been nothing but! I've thanked everyone repeatedly for their input and advice. Sometimes tone and intent are difficult to discern in this type of forum. I haven't felt anything but gratitude for people taking the time to give advice that I solicited regarding this circumstance. I do disagree with what some are suggesting, but I think that's allowed, don't you? ;) I appreciate everyone's perspective, but at the end of the day I still have to parent my child in the way I think best. It may not be what you (or someon
  13. Again, I want to thank everyone so much for your input. I really do appreciate it! Regarding the door issue...it's going. Not forever, but for some period of time yet to be determined (probably a week or two). I believe it to be an appropriate consequence for her violating the privacy of another member of the family yet again. She was told this is what would happen, so this is what is going to happen. It does not feel good when you have no privacy in your own personal space, and that is the feeling I want her to experience. A couple of other things...she doesn't have a computer in
  14. Thank you so much to everyone for your opinions and advice! A couple of updates.... First, just to be clear, the removal of her door has nothing to do with the material she was reading, but for going through my things. She knows very well that we are to respect each others boundaries and privacy (i.e., she has been in trouble before for nosing through her sister's room) and so this is the result of a culmination of activities and not just this one. I don't go through her things, read her journals, etc. and so she owes the rest of us the same respect. She's now going to see how bad it f
  15. She's definitely not allowed to nose around through my stuff. That's the reason for the punishment....the violation of trust and privacy. I agree that if she happened across it, it is natural to want to open it. Had she not been doing something she shouldn't have, though, she wouldn't have had access. I do think that she was deliberately looking for the material on the internet. I don't think that was the case with the book. I'm just going to have to ask her and see what she says.
  16. I don't think she was digging through my things specifically to find that type of book. She wouldn't have had any way to know it even existed. I think she was probably nosing around going through my stuff (and I know I did that with my parents' things when I was probably her age) and happened across it. So, while I admit I am concerned that she's a bit obsessive about it, I don't know if this case happened to just be circumstance, as opposed to actually seeking it out this time, kwim?
  17. I saw it today with my two girls, 6 and 13. I happened to enjoy it and think it was very well done, but it was definitely scary. Had I known it would have that much creep factor in it I would not have taken my 6 year old. I kept checking throughout the movie to see how scared she was! In the end, they both said they liked it, too. Would i recommend it? I don't know. Maybe for adults and older children, but not for the littles.
  18. We actually have a history of sexual abuse in my family, unfortunately, so I'm hypersensitive to it and did consider that. I was not abused, and my daughter has never been exposed to any known abuser, but still....I've wondered... I have broached the subject with her many times and she has been in counseling for other things over the years, but she has given no indication (and in fact has flatly denied) that anything has even happened. I have not asked her what she is looking for. That's a good question. Thanks for the advice.
  19. That's an interesting perspective and I appreciate it, but I don't really understand it. Are you saying that there are not or should not be different standards for parents and children? Also, I thought I treated her as a young lady when I had the open and honest discussions I did with her about the subject matter. The punishments are not actually related to the book but rather to her disobedience and violation of trust. So at this point, it's entirely punitive. That said, I could be so upset that perhaps I'll think differently of it in the morning. Who knows? At any rate, th
  20. A couple of months ago I caught my 13 year old dd looking at porn on the internet. Naive mother that I am, it never occurred to me that she would even know what that stuff is, much less to look for it. I didn't freak out. I had a long conversation with her about how it's perfectly natural to be curious, but that the types of things she was seeing and reading are not in any way meant for 13 year olds, not at all reflective of reality, not appropriate, too mature, and, bottom line, simply not allowed in my home. I immediately put the strictest net nanny on the computer that I could
  21. My dd13 has the exact same problem, and I found that it actually helps to wash the hair more often. It's the oil in the scalp that is causing the flaky skin, and the shampoo keeps it at bay. It seemed counter-intuitive to me, but after doing some internet research and then actually trying the daily washing with dandruff shampoo, her problem is nearly gone.
  22. Thanks to feedback from people on this board, both my 13 year old and 6 year old daughters are getting Nintendo DS. They are going to FREAK because I've told them both in no uncertain terms that they will not be getting them, too expensive, blah blah. I'm excited to see their faces!
  23. I LOVE Philosophy Pure Grace. A total soap and water smell. I also wear Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue...my all time favorite scent. But my baby told me I smell like cookies and flowers. :-)
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