:grouphug::grouphug: Try to reduce as much stress as you can. Relax in bed if you can. Allow the children to watch tv/movies and rest with them. Have anyone in your family help you out. Try to relax!! I know it's hard with little ones. I would spoil myself right now. It's only a season. You will be back on your feet in no time.:grouphug:

Thank you!

Yes, I think this would be a good idea. I don't think he has anyone other than his mom. That's one of the reasons I wanted to make sure I was supportive of him. He has had a rough go w/the job losses and my sister telling him she had no faith in him sure hasn't helped. Also, I think having another guy would be good. The most important thing is I want to offer him support. I want him to know that he isn't alone in this. For me, that is really important. He's just been through too much.

I know. I feel like she has to hit bottom. She won't let anyone help her. I've tried to help every. single. way I know how to. But, she always makes excuses and just keeps pushing forward in the same direction. She's completely lost perspective. Her youngest is almost 17. He is the only one left at home. But, we all know it will still hurt. It will hurt everyone. My bil is having a hard time finding a job b/c he is in his 50's. It's just harder now. And, I just can't believe she is turning on him. Makes my stomach ache.

Thank you!

I am really upset. Very sad. A little background info: I live near my sis and bil and their family. My sister is an A #1 Narcassist. She's really just the kind of person that you can only love b/c she is related to you. It's tough. I have major boundaries with her. It's taken me yrs to figure it all out but I have. Now, on to the worst part. Her husband has been unemployed for about 8ms. He's a great guy. Has his problems...but such dear person. He cooks, cleans, brings her coffee, rubs her feet every night until she falls asleep, and more! Yep...that good! He has faults, but they are not anything that is major. He's been a great provider and care provider to their children- one which was severely handicapped... but has passéd away. My sister is very attractive. Very petite. Home coming girl. Get the pic? :) She went to work(for the first time ever) a few yrs ago. Since she has been working, my bil has been having job issues. He's lost two. This has NEVER happened to him before in their marriage. He's a rock solid guy. They've always made six figures. They have a beautiful home, pool, 10 acres...perfect! He does whatever she wants and tries hard to please, but I think it's more of a passive aggressive thing or co-dependent. something... IDK. It's certainly not ideal. Anyway, she has been very unhappy with him (to put it mildly) since she's had to work. She treats him abusively and can't stand to be home. She wants out of the marriage, but says it's nothing to do with him not being employed. I don't believe her but whatever. Recently, she confided in me that she has been 'talking' with someone for over a yr. He has been her rock and basically kept her from killing herself. :confused: I was devastated. sick. But, thought the best- she will work through this and they will get their marriage back on track. Yesterday, bil called me. He was having a hard time figuring out some comments she had made to him. What he should do. I thought I would go over and cheer him up and let the kids swim. When I got there, he had talked to her on the phone and she basically told him she wanted him to leave. I was devasted. He was too. He didn't say anything, but I could see it in his face. He's just trying to make it work. I sat there and listened to him and tried to offer support, but he had decided to go out of state to his moms. At the cost of being the bad guy, I told him about my sisters friend. I told him I didn't know anything other than they would talk but I thought maybe he should stay and not leave. I felt so stinking bad. For all of us. But, in the end, I just couldn't have him knowing that I knew and didn't tell him. I respect the guy so much. Now, I'm just sick. Sick with grief. I feel so bad for him. My sister is so selfish. I hate that I know about this other person. I hate that she doesn't have the moral spine to stay with him and let him get a job and get back on track. I can't stand the situation..at all. If it weren't for my bil, I wouldn't even have a relationship with my sister. She just isn't someone I can tolerate to be around. She is too focussed on her looks, money, and status. She is so awful that she suggested he get a job at a place like Homedepot but do it out of state and send them the money b/c she didn't want her 'kids' to be embarrassed. :confused: She's just rotten. Makes me sick for him. He has been such a major male figure in my life. He's kind of a dad/brother for me. I've got so much respect for him. Just absolutely heart broken and feel bad to be involved but I had to tell him. I just couldn't have him thinking that I knew and didn't tell him. I just couldn't. Sometimes life really stinks. This is that time. Thanks for letting me get this out. I couldn't even type it yesterday. I've thought about him all day, night and today.

Well, I'm a bit in the minority here, but I vote for Colorado! :D 1. I think it's beautiful! 2. You will be closer to your family which is very important. 3. The cost of living isn't THAT much more..marginal. 4. I think culturally it would be a great place to raise kids. So, though nothing I stated is specifically important...together the sum is pretty neat. I think, in all, Colorado would just be a great place!:001_smile: Disclaimer- I have a tendtency to think with my heart. What I want to do... I would move to Colorado just b/c it's cool!

They watch TV, Video games, or lately- they want to play ping pong in the basement= lol!

The businesses would bother me. Long term that is too much of an unknown. We live on a private road with 5acre tracs. But, it had restrictive covenants to protect the neighbors. It's not bad...just no junk cars...buildings on permanent foundations and so forth. These are the reasons we purchased in our neighborhood...it's private b/c each home has a minimum of five acres, but it's also protected by the covenants. I would try to find something that offers a bit more protection 'around' you. That is the most difficult part of buying and owning land. You want to make sure that nothing crazy comes up around you. Good luck!

:grouphug: Do not feel bad b/c I am parenting her twin brother! :glare: I can relate to every.single. thing you said. It's so difficult. I worry about him so much. He has anger issues and real difficult time with 'reality'. In other words, he doesn't seem to see how good he has it. He still has 'temper tantrums' over silly things. It drives me absolutely nuts. It can be over what we are having for dinner. Or, last night, it was b/c Youth was cancelled. If one single thing goes wrong, he starts on a fifteen minute lecture about how horrible his life is and nothing ever goes right.:confused: I just look at him and wonder who the heck are you? I, like you, was a ppl pleaser too. My mom even commented at gatherings at how easy I was. I just did what I was told. It didn't occur to me to argue over it. Why? When I think back on his early yrs, they were hard too. He has always had a very difficult time making friends. He is extremely sensitive to boys that are too hyper, dramatic, rough...etc. He likes to sit, play games, talk about and watch movies, etc. He thinks that everyone should think and act the way he does. I had to have an extensive conversation with him about "opinions"! :glare: He would get into arguments with his brothers and other close friends about which game system was better. He just couldn't understand that someone might like something different than him. I've been a bit more worried lately b/c it seems to be getting worse...kind of like when he was little. I think it must be hormone related. I don't know. I can't offer real advice. I am just taking it one day at a time and realizing he will have to figure out these things to survive in this world. I don't know what else you can do??? I try to offer him options for socialization that will allow him to grow. I finally realized he will NEVER play sports. ;) So, I am encouraging things like: youth group (that seems safe enough), choir at church, and summer camps at church. He seems to do better with ppl that are more conservative. Like I mentioned before, he has a hard time with rough behavior. You might try to find things that compliment your daughters personality. Forcer her to be more independent from you. I've been successful with making my son participate in age appropriate things and being around and having to tolerate behaviors from other ppl. Taking the focus off of himself- his needs. He very much likes to do what HE wants- stay inside where it's comfortable, watch his tv, his video, etc... Making him get out and away from these habits is usually a good thing for him. I hope you get some good advice. You aren't alone. Seriously, I have the same child! It can be very exhausting. He is the oldest which makes it harder (for me) I think my 9yr old is more mature...which is heartbreaking. :grouphug::grouphug:

:bigear:

OP- I do not think you are going to find anyone that thinks that having an abortion without talking to her husband is a good idea. For all the reasons that have been so eloquently pointed out already, it's just NOT a good idea. period. I hope you found some good advice on here to share with her. I think that talking to her husband will really giver her further insight that she needs right now. She is making far too many assumptions about the future. Communication and honesty are always the BEST choice.

The best home school years we have are the years that I begin WELL prepared. I have everything picked out well in advance. I have everything scheduled on my calendar, and I am absolutely rigid with a weekly schedule. I think that these things allow my children to understand a few things. 1. They know what to expect every single day. They usually have the week in front of them at a glance. Then, they have the day scheduled. 2. They have visible goals. They can see the importance of their work. 3. They know we are going to stick to the schedule. So, whining isn't going to change anything. ;) 4. If I'm not prepared, they won't take it serious b/c they assume I don't. This has NOT been one of those prepared years. :glare: And, I have had more whining than EVER from them. However, I have a two yr old. It's been tough. But, next year I am going to knock their little socks off and can't wait! lol! I've warned them. So, they can't say they haven't been warned!!!:lol:

I am desperately trying to decide on our high school math. We are at the Pre Algebra phase. My son has worked all the way through the MUS program and we are now at the place to move to higher level math. Which of these two programs would you recommend? And why? Thank you so much!

In all fairness, I'm Prolife. So, I just want to disclose that. These are my thoughts. 1. Abortions, like pregnancies, are not without risk. She needs to understand that she could have problems or complications that she would need to explain/deal with. 2. Deception is completely wrong in a marriage. Period. I can't think of any good reason for her not to tell her husband. If he is pro-choice (to a degree it sounds), he should be open to her thoughts and concerns about the pregnancy. 3. This is NOT just her decision. Because of #1, she needs to let her husband know. If she has the procedure and has complications, what will she do? It's just too risky. HTH!:grouphug:

:lol: I'm not going to say a thing. I'm just enjoying this post- tremendously!

No, I wasn't. I was home schooled though. :001_smile: I'm about to turn forty- cough, cough! :tongue_smilie: So, no, I was not part of the beginning pioneer movement, but I do feel I was a part of the movement. It wasn't crazy and totally weird at the time, but it was a little. I always had to explain every. single. time someone asked me about home schooling. But, it's all good. I enjoyed it. So, I've been around awhile in the home school community. I've seen LOT'S of change. I feel grounded in where I've come from and where I'm going with our educational choices. I see everything as PROGRESS. I'm just not threatened by it. However, I do see other opinions on the subject. But, I do think that most of those opinions are simply based on fear. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was stomping on you. I really am. I didn't mean to. :confused: I try hard to be very respectful when replying on the boards. So, forgive me if I came across abrasive- didn't mean to!

:iagree: I think this is absolutely true. There are some that haven't heard the news, ' the war is over, we won!' There is no need to become paranoid about every available option for homeschooling. Things have changed and the general approval and acceptance has allowed us many different options. It's a good thing!

I'm not familiar with these programs so I'm not really defending them. I don't know enough about them to do that. But, I will say that as American citizens (and not everyone on this board is but they are a citizen somewhere) that we are claimed by our 'govt' and capitalized on every. single. day. I doubt seriously that these students are harming the majority by using funding that is available. I do see that many would not make that choice. But, if the option is there; it's there. I see it like any other gov't funded opportunity. You can either participate or not. I don't consider it a slap in the face at all. It's an option/choice. If the parent is willing to give up 'some rights', that is their decision. Freedom of choice is the most critical point to remember. Being upset that someone chose something a little, or a lot, different from you is an extremely dangerous mindset to entertain.

Oh my word! This thread reminds me of a thread I started earlier this week, " Why are homeschool moms soooo difficult!" :lol::lol::lol: I have to say that I really don't have a strong opinion about how anyone home schools b/c that is the beauty of homeschooling. Use books. Don't use books. Whatever...they are in charge of their children. I understand the point of neglect. It's there. My sister is a teacher and reminds me all the time of the 'home schooled students' she receives in her classes that are WAY behind b/c their parents weren't really teaching them. They are poor students, awkward in habits and writing. Well, you know what? I am going to have to say that chances are these same kids would be falling through the cracks in public school b/c their parents are just, simply, being neglectful of their school. period. People- lighten up!! There are great options for educating children. Homeschooling is ONE of them. I've home schooled my kids from day 1. The moment I held my son in my arms I told my husband I would home school him. But, I have some amazing nieces and nephews that have been through the public school system and are smart, productive, successful adults. They are great kids! I would never stand in judgment of them or their parents for choosing a different approach to their education. I realize that funded programs scare some home schoolers. They feel like it's 'more accountability' and they don't want that. Then, guess what? Don't use the program! :glare: Home schoolers rights are still theirs. They are still independent of funding, accountability, etc. The lines seem very clear to me. It's just one of many options for education. And, I have NO problem with them calling themselves homeschoolers b/c they are indeed teaching at HOME. There seems to be a lot of criticism among homeschoolers if they choose any road that allows outside resources/help. The attitude of not 'really' homeschooling. It's so silly. I think the opposite. Look at how far we've come that we have so many resources to use today!

:iagree: You bet!

:iagree: It's really sad, but one person really can destroy a group. :glare: It drives me nuts b/c the parents making the noise NEVER do anything to improve the situation. The good news for me is that I will always be supportive of the groups my kids are in from now on!! I realize how important it is to show your appreciation and support!;)

Ugh! What a nightmare! I just don't get that type of personality. If there is something serious, I will be the first to address it, but if we are talking about how things are scheduled, ran, organized, nope...I'm not getting involved. I might offer some minor input, but I am not sending page long emails about how to restructure programs! Good grief! In my experience, this type of input is rarely received well.

I sure hope you find something! I know it can be so stressful, but there are some wonderful opportunities out there. I vote for 'give it a shot'. :) I have had some rough moments in groups, but there have been really good opportunities for my kids. This group that I've got going now is one of those good moments. My son loves it and he is so happy I started it. So, I will continue to organize it. :grouphug:

Yes, yes and YES! I do believe these are major contributors to what I've seen. I was pleased today that the moms from yesterday apologized for stressing me out. Everyone seemed to be more relaxed and happier than yesterday. I'm hoping the positive attitudes will be a permanent new thing!