Hi Homemaker! My dh was adamant against homeschooling so I considered it for two seconds and discarded it thinking, "I don't want to fight about it and it's probably too hard anyway." We put our twin boys in a "great" school that has a list for one semester and pulled them last Christmas. There were too many things we didn't like but the saddest was hearing my darling 5 year old yell, "Dick! Dick! Dick!" at the top of lungs after hanging out with his "3rd Grade Buddy" (set up by the school and not well supervised). With all respect to your dh, he's thinking of homeschoolers from the 70's and 80's who were odd seeming. Today, the homeschool kids are amazing: nothing odd about them at all. I would assume that's partially because there's so much out there for hs kids: karate, 4H, tennis, pottery class (my kids do these. (Nobody is holing up in their homes anymore.) One homeschool boy I know is the epitome of confidence and cool. You'd never pick him out as weird. (Plus there are plenty of weird kids in ps. Please.) Finding time for chores and for yourself, admittedly, is tough. What I soon learned is that homeschooling isn't necessarily a thing that you do, but an entire lifestyle that you embrace. I've learned to wake up an hour before my kids so I have time for coffee and the paper. I've also learned to simply take time. The boys are playing with Lego's, I get on the computer and get the bills done. Part of homeschooling is letting the kids into your life so that they totally get what happens at the bank, the stores, with bill paying, at the post office etc. (I don't have family help either.) Consider talking to your husband about homeschooling "just for this year." Just take it a year at a time and hopefully he'll start seeing the difference between his kids and ps kids. (Fewer bad words, less "attitude, increased learning.) I've only been doing this for 3/4 of a year, but I'm finding that I learn something new almost every day that helps me be a better hs mom. I learn little tricks/ideas that make everything go easier. I have two boys who definitely try to get the upper hand, but I'm learning. (Ex: "If you aren't able to finish your writing, you'll need to finish it instead of going to karate." Amazing how well that works!) I soooo worried about organized sports just like you. And funny enough, I now have the boys in karate and tennis. I picked tennis because it's a sport they can do into their 80's, on vacation, with friends etc. It's lifelong. I did a lot of team sports as a kid and won "most valuable player" awards etc. and didn't get a whole lot out of the experience. The whole "you learn to be a team player" thing didn't happen for me. 5. What is one piece of advice you feel is important for someone to know in my situation? Turn around and those kids will be headed for college. Be with them now: don't lose thirty hours plus all the get ready/decompress time to the schools. Take good care, Alley

I don't know anything about that particular school or advocating for it, I just thought overall "prison" message was a good one. Alley

I'm kidding, of course, but check out this article on hs. It's excellent. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/200909/why-don-t-students-school-well-duhhhh Please send it to friends/family: the word needs to get out. Alley

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I got. . . earned. . . whatever. . . A's in Shakespear a long time ago and I have NEVER trotted it out, but "the lady doth protest too much." That's my general take on these people who think they're so highly trained. I had twins in Kinder last year (for one semester) and had no idea how little training school teachers receive. I always assumed. . . well, I don't know what I assumed. I thought they had training. Period. I did the math and was like, "wait a second, I've been in higher education at least three years longer than any of these teachers. I've had a load of child dev. courses in a Masters program. Why am I cowed by these people???" (Not at all to say that higher education matters when it comes to loving and teaching your own child. I just think it's flimsy that the teachers hold their certification up as if they won the Gold or something.) Now high school teachers may be different -- it seems they must have special knowledge in their field. I would assume. Cowed time was over. You did a fantastic job -- don't let up. If she responds, respond back. Let her know that she's being prejudicial -- pre judging based on her small sample. Tell her to get to know the people who are in it for the right reasons. But she won't, will she? Doesn't support her thesis. Alley

Maybe someone already said, but there are Mastiff rescue groups that can be very helpful. They LOVE their breed! Do a home check whatever you do and get references including the veterinarian and call them. Sadly, nice seeming people lie to get animals. They truly think they'll be a good home and they're just. plain. not. It's a lot like an 8 year old who really thinks he won't get sick if he has a third helping of ice cream. He's a doll! Alley

Tex ~ Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I didn't think we had to pay tax on the inheritance. We are not combative people. We also think that was his sister is doing is wrong and she's pushed us into a corner. I feel badly for my dh. I really appreciate your taking the time to write. Thank you everyone. Alley

You all told me two weeks ago to go to a lawyer pronto. I'm the one who's husband is a 1/3 in an estate w/ his siblings and it's been 18 months since the death of the father. . . and no movement on the siblings' part. Dh -- who is Mr. Polite/Nice/Avoids Conflict to the Max -- just got off the phone w/ the sister who essentially said, "we're not going to buy you out. We'll paint the house exterior Summer '10 and then put it on the market." Neither of us believe her at this point. We genuinely believe this could go on for years. She offered a small amount to appease us. (The house is worth over one mil. so the 1/3 is not an amount we'd feel comfortable walking away from.) So, dh said, totally out of character, let's call the lawyer. I really feel for him. I mean, I've watched the sister for months now avoid him, placate him, lie to him etc. But I feel bad for dh. Who would want this?? Neither bro. nor sister has a job and it's beginning to dawn on us that they can't get a loan against the house and buy us out -- and still have $ to fix up the house at all. The dad had let it go down hill. Needs paint, porch repairs. Thanks for listening. I really trust your assessment of this. And thank you for not thinking I'm a money grubber. It's just scary to watch what could be a lot of money be mismanaged badly -- and possibly watch it disappear. Btw, it's a duplex and they've mismanaged the lower unit losing a lot of money on that alone the last 18 months. We're starting to realize that the lower unit -- a very nice lower unit -- is a microcosm of the entire house project management. Or, I should say, mismanagement. Thanks for letting me vent. Alley

Such a great book. I read it aloud to my six year olds. Kids 5 to 99 will love it. Mine sure did. Alley

Perry, enormous thanks for all your expert advice on swine flu. How lucky are we to have you on this board?? Given that we only have about 1.5 months to go before the vaccine should be available, what's your advice for the next 45 day period. Hunker down until the vaccine is ready to go? Just, as usual, wash hands? I'm keeping my kids out of obvious spots to get germs: McDonald play spaces, the play space at the gym etc. I think I'll even avoid play dates especially with public school kids until we get the shot. But last winter I'm pretty sure I picked up a mild virus at our library. I retraced my steps and am pretty certain that the library was the only place I'd been the particular day when I would have been likely to get the germ. So, then my question is: should we really, seriously limit our public visits to libraries, grocery stores etc.? I'd love your opinion. I sure don't want to go over board. At the same time, I really don't want us to get the flu before we know how dangerous vs. mild it's going to be. Also, can you point me to a good list of what to have around the house? Pedialyte, saltines. . . Thanks again, Alley

One easy pasta dish: pasta feta cheese dill weed spice veggies added like yellow squash (cooked of course), baby toms, even asparagus Another easy, easy thing for vegetarians that'll taste like you did a lot, but all you did was open a jar: pesto and pasta. If you're planning on having burgers one night, buy a package of Morningstar Farm Grillers. You'll find Morningstar Farm stuff in your freezer section often by waffles. Green boxes. They're awesome. They were originally made for people with heart problems who needed to reduce their meat intake. Prepare them just like you would a burger. Last, the Morningstar Farm bacon rocks! My picky, picky kid loves the stuff. Alley

My 6 year olds hate the early reader books. They're very clear that they're dumbed-down in story line. So, we moved onto Henry and Mudge, Dr. Suess type books. And they're used to chapter books like the Trumpet of the Swan, but obviously they're not ready to read that yet. Alley

Thanks Hillary and Wendy. My understanding is that they're keeping up on home owners insurance and wouldn't that handle the liability? But who knows? We're looking at moving cross country possibly by Christmas and the money would make the move so much easier. We could pay off our mortgage and sell the house we're in after we move -- rather than trying to do it w/ two 6 year olds and all of their Lego's!! I think my very sweet, but very passive husband, is beginning to tap into his inner-grizzly. I hope. Part of this is happening, let's face it, because my husband has been in full blown avoidance mode for many months now. Not that I totally blame him. It's just not my style and I recognize that we're different. Thanks again, Alley

I don't mean any rudeness to all of you who have taken the time to respond to our problem. BUT the "12 year plan" comment wasn't meant passively agressively at all. There is a history in the family of a house being handed down and people sitting on it for 10 years -- yes, literally, until another party finally got a lawyer involved. We're concerned that this brother/sister duo are on the exact same path. I didn't want to bore you with details, but here goes: both brother and sister don't work -- are living lives on assistance. The house/them are two hours away. DH has a full time job and you know what I do all day. The house is a turn of the century house worth well over a million dollars. (Way too much money to just walk away from. It will benefit our sons' futures.) It's needs repairs done and they're doing them -- very, very slowly. There's no rush on their part. The house has become their lives. They live there now, they do projects on it when they get around to it. They're not rushing and they don't have the skills to get the job done in a matter of months and get the thing on the market. It's not who they are as people. Please believe me: the "12 year plan" comment I made was not meant passively aggressively at all. This house may not move out of the family for 15 years. Dh just said, "glaciers move faster than these people." I should have told you from the start that the brother/sister aren't exactly people like you and me with jobs, families, mortgages etc. Also, no, the sister/brother were not living in the house at all before the dad died. To make this even more complicated, the dad was not beloved. The sister and my dh hadn't been in contact w/ him for years. Good reasons for this, but again, I won't bore you. The family is absolutely not close. As the spouse I'm totally staying behind the scenes -- not getting involved other than to support dh. He's having a crisis at work, so getting all of your input has been super helpful. Thank you Elizabeth the attorney!! We're holding out on contacting an attorney -- we're trying to do this as humanely/sanely as possible, but we're losing money by the month as they live rent free. Anyway, thank you all. You've been awesome to care and respond!! Alley

Thanks again everyone. I didn't want to leave anyone w/ the idea that we'd be accusing the sister of stealing. It just helps us realize what's happening while we politely wait. Secondly, whether economically it's a good, bad, or ugly time to sell isn't the point at all. If one person wants to be bought out or sell (after 18 mo.) that person needs to be respected and dealt with accordingly. The sister and brother can't simply determine that it's not the economic time. It's not up to them. It seems clear that the sister/brother have no intention of selling anytime within the next three to five years. And the idea of my husband having a "heart to heart" with anyone (but maybe me) is funny. He's just not the type. He'd work hard cleaning the attic, but he wouldn't have a heart to heart. It would be more stalling on the sister/brother's part. I should have said from the start of this thread: one of the reasons we've waited 18 mo. is that we're trying very hard to not have any family problems. We're treading lightly, but since the sister is in outright avoidance-mode at this point, I was just wondering what we should do next if "it comes to the worst." But for now, we're still trying to be kind and polite. I don't want you to think otherwise. Thanks again for this wonderful, supportive thread. Alley

Right, there should be no fuss. A good executor liquidates the estate, passes out checks. That's it. It shouldn't get ugly. I think walking away is wrong because it's allowing someone to flat out steal money from us and our children. This money is going for their college and our retirement. (Nobody is going to Hawaii on the money or putting in new kitchen.) In any case, I just think it's unethical to pull this sort of thing and I think it would be wrong to just walk away and allow someone to do this. I know my dh would feel like he'd been trampled on the rest of his life. I really do appreciate your time. It means a lot. Alley

I'll just bore you for one more minute: the sister/brother team has been very clear that they don't want to sell the house for at least two more years. So offering to help clean/paint etc. is beside the point. And I know these people. Their 2 year plan will devolve into 8 to 10 yrs. If it's even sold then. Dh asked to be bought out and we thought she understood the road he wanted to take. But all she did was clean out the attic. And she's behaving like, "what?! There has been progress -- look at the attick!" I really appreciate everyone on here so much. I know my dh will read this -- he has a lot of respect for independent thinking home schoolers!! Alley

Thanks again, everyone. It's just nice to know that my anger at this point is justified. I went along w/ the let's be polite thing for 18 months, but now that dh has specifically made a request to her and she's ignoring him, I'm boiling. Thanks again, Alley

Thank you so much for this advice. Do you have ballpark on what a lawyer like this would charge. It's totally frustrating that we have to pay what I assume is big lawyer money to get this woman to do her job. Is there any chance this the lawyer money would come out of her portion? Alley

No, I'm totally staying out of the middle. I won't say a word to anyone except dh. Dh sees his sister, maybe, once every two years for two whole hours. She's ten years older than he is and they've never been close. I sort of look at it like the sister is making the choice to make this situation so confrontational. Dh is pretty much being left no choice (unless he wants to give up mortgage money which I know he won't. Engineer types aren't dumb.) Thank you, Kept and Mrs., I think it's awful too and dh is showing no emotion at all about it. At this point, dh is saying, "oh, she's procrastinating." And I'm like, "this goes way beyond procrastinating. You're getting in the way of her plan and she's puposely thwarting you and making it look benign." I need a glass of wine!! And, yes, I do keep in mind that families have much bigger problems than this!! Thanks again, Alley

I need advice. In a nutshell. Father in law died 18 months ago. Left family home -- totally paid off -- to 3 kids (one is dh). Sister is the executor. Dh has been very quiet, polite for 18 months. Finally drove 2 hrs. to visit w/ her and in his vague, polite way, "let's get this house sold and divvy the $." Sister basically said, "oh no, we're on the 12 year plan!" So my husband emailed her last week and said that he'd like to bought out. Then only the sister and the other brother would own the house. Dh would be out of it. We waited one week and heard nothing. One week to the day, she emailed (without being prompted) and said "they'd made progress on emptying the attic." No mention of getting the house appraised, talking to a lender etc. etc. I want to scream. Meanwhile the brother and sister are living -- rent free -- in the house. We have kids, we'd love to pay off our mortgage. My husband is gearing up to be more specific with the sister I hope. But he's an engineer type. He avoids, doesn't like conflict etc. Without going into detail, our life is changing and my husband is motivated to push the sister. She's doing several things an executor isn't allowed to do: like she never made any inventory of the items in the home and has actually given stuff away to other relatives. Any advice?? Thoughts?? I particularly would love to hear from people who've dealt with estates/executors/trustees etc. Thank you!! And thanks for letting me vent! :mad: Alley

Thanks everyone!! I'll be honest -- and I love Perry -- but when I look at the English generalizations that she linked to I think, "that all just confuses me." And I'm a writer. I got A's in Shakespeare in college. Maybe a few of those for 6 year olds, but I can't imagine that they could internalize each and and every "fact." My concern is that it's like telling someone how to eat watermelon, "pick up melon. Wash it. Slice it into quarters. Then into smaller pieces. Lift to mouth. Spit out each seed as it presents itself in mouth. Continue to eat. When you're done, walk to trash can, throw rind into it. Close lid." Okay, tell me why I'm completely wrong. Alley

I'm well educated, but I'm not sure I know what people mean when they say "math facts" and "reading facts". For example, in TWTM Susan or Jessie writes, "explain that in the word 'fate,' the 'e' makes the 'a' say it's name." I was like "fantastic! I found a fact!!" Where are the rest of these rules/facts? Is there a list of them somewhere? I hope, I hope! Thank you!! Alley

I'm still so new at hs and I thought I'd have more support from my charter school at this point. Is there a website or a list I can get that gives me what 1st graders are supposed to be getting this year? I'm re-reading TWTM, but I feel lost. Any book suggestions for 6 year olds is also welcome! Alley

Hi Everyone, By November we may be living in Richmond. I'm really nervous. Really, really nervous. I've lived in CA my whole life. Question: does Virginia have charter schools for homeschoolers? We're in one in CA and have had a great experience. One of the reasons I don't want to move is because of our charter. What other supports are there for hs families? My husband will be working in Glen Allan. Can you recommend a town close by for renting a home? We'll buy after about a year. I love the history, architecture and close proximity to everything on the east coast. Also, I assume it's cheaper to fly to Europe from VA then CA. Am I right? Anything else you can tell me to mellow me out is super appreciated. Alley-who-is-hiding-under-the-covers!!! :001_unsure: