I was trying to point out that "laughing it off" with my one son is extremely easy. I just can't take it seriously: I know how close we are. It's my other son that gets too mean. And, yes, I think I'm tilting into trying to be close to him and it's getting too much like trying to be friends. I do give consequences when he's rude -- today he lost a play date. I think it struck a chord with him, but I'll have to be "on it" to make any difference. Alley

Thanks Cassandra! I meant to add that it seems like these kinds of kids are extremely smart and always on the look out where they can get their toe in for a little more . . .what? power? Alley

I have one boy who has always been attached to me like a barnacle. They're both 6. (If he says something mean, it doesn't bother me because I know it's "kid stuff" and it'll be over soon.) My other boy -- who is very sweet and sensitive -- can be so rejecting towards me. It's hard not to take it personally. He's so sweet and gentle, in fact, that we were concerned he'd be picked on by bullies in ps. It's one reason we're thrilled we finally decided to hs. But it's like I'm the one he kicks. He's wonderful to his father and brother -- and mean to me. He says things like, "you kiss too much." (I don't; I started kissing/hugging much less to give him some space.) He frowns and glares at me often. He's often trying to get the upper hand. I'm not at all overly strict and I wonder if he's often pushing me to see how much he can get away with. Is he testing?? Sometimes he'll make a card that says I heart you -- just so he can manipulate me into something later! I've caught him in the very act! One of those cards is still hanging on my bulletin board. This a.m. was awful. I want to cry and I feel very down. His friend was coming over this afternoon and I took away that play date. I also had him in his room for an hour this a.m. Even eating breakfast in there which we never do. I just feel like when he grows up he'll call once a year when he has to to say hi. Except he adores dh so maybe I'll see him more because of that. Breaks my heart. I never thought I'd be writing things like this. :crying: Alley

GREAT question!! :lurk5:

I think the dental world is continuing to learn new things all of the time. It's not clear cut. And I appreciate science as much as the next mom. I'm just giving my experience. It's something that I've noticed: my dental health is awesome -- knock wood -- and I always wonder. Alley

My 6 year old is consistent about wanting to learn French. We're starting a hs Spanish class on Monday, but I'd also like to expose him to French since he seems so interested. Because he's learned a lot about the Revolutionary War, he is positive that the English are the bad guys and the French are wonderful. Even though I often tell him that the English are now our great friends. He doesn't buy it. :lol: Anyway, do you love Hooked on French? I'm looking for "love," not intense infatuation and /or the honeymoon period. Thanks, Alley

Joane ~ I don't really know if being veggie has anything to do w/ my good dental health and I said that, but to say that dental issues arent caused by food or other substances put into our mouth just isn't right. Juices, sugar, nicotine, certain drugs. Alley

I've been a vegetarian for 25 years (I think modern factory farming is horrific) -- what I can tell you is that my dental check ups are glowing. I don't know if there is any connection. I've never seen a study on it. And I may just have good genetics (although my parents have dental work done regularly). But I never have cavities. The most I hear from the dentist is: "you need a night guard." I get cleanings once to twice a year and, of course, brush and floss. Maybe it's nothing, but maybe there is a connection. Even if you have no interest in learning about factory farming and what they do to animals, it's still obvious that our ancestors never had meat available to them like modern people do. They were getting plenty of fruit, nuts, veggies etc. We probably way over do the meat. And even with 88 year olds who eat meat 3X a day being super healthy -- that's not what the studies show. The studies show that too much meat leads to heart disease, obesity etc. etc. I can also show you people who smoke like chimneys into their 90's. That doesn't mean that legions of people haven't died from lung cancer. Alley

It's funny to me that with these major issues we either get the chicken littles or the major under reactors. (What would the equivalent fairytale be for under reacting?) With H1N1 I've certainly had my over reacting moments, but each time I've read Perry's posts I get back into a reasonable mind frame. I just want to say that I heart Perry and good science and I'm backing her if she runs for president. Alley

My two 6 yr. old boys got it today. We're w/ Kaiser in California and they have it available for kids 6 to 24. Chronic health adults 25 to 64. And health care workers. Dh gets it because he works for a hospital. I'm the odd-mom-out. Alley

I just called and our hospital is saying that there must be 28 days if you're getting the seasonal flu mist spray and the H1N1 flu mist spray. But no waiting period between the vaccines. And for our hospital it's only available to kids 6 to 24. Adults 25 to 60-something w/ chronic probs. Health care workers. That leaves me out, but takes care of my boys and dh. Alley

Thank you, Perry. I think I get it now. My hunch is right then -- there are plenty of people -- that 70 % -- getting sick and automatically saying it's H1N1. It doesn't really matter I guess, I was just wondering. New subject: our hopsital system is saying different thing constantly. One nurse says you have to wait 21 days between seasonal flu shot and H1N1 shot. Another says they have flu mist for H1N1. Another says they don't. Ahhh! Do you happen to know anything about the 21 day thing? Thanks again! Alley

Hi Perry, First of all, can I say that I think you're wonderful to answer our questions the way you do so thoroughly. Here's my latest (I hope it makes sense) ~ Our local hospital system here in CA has said that they're not testing for H1N1 when people call in sick, even show up with mild symptoms. It seems to me that they're only testing after a lung has collapsed etc. meaning the patient becomes very, very sick. Is it possible that the "mild" cases we're seeing are "just" the seasonal flu and the really awful cases are actually the H1N1? A friend's son has a boy in her class that's been in the hospital for over a week in ICU in our town. He's confirmed H1N1. One of his lungs collapsed, the other lung had to have fluid removed. And he got pneumonia. (The parents were on Nightline discussing it.) My long-winded question: how the heck do "they" really know anything if very, very few people are being tested?? I have friends saying, "oh, yeah, we have the swine flu going through our school and our son had it last week, but he only had a temp for 24 hours and he could have gone back to school the next day but I kept him home." I'm sorry: I had the flu back in the '90's and it was AWFUL. It wasn't a 24 hr. thing. Ever since, I've gotten my flu shot. I don't want to go through that ever again. So, how do the experts know that swine flu isn't mixed in with the seasonal flu? Or even just regular viruses? If they're not testing?? Sorry for the novel! Alley

Not to be rude, but I'm not looking for sheets. They seem to be easier to find. I'm looking for a selection of comforters/duvets and bed skirts. That's what I'm having a hard time finding. Alley

I AM in California, but so many places carry only up to a King. Macys sells some Cal King, but very little. I keep wondering, "where do people buy this stuff??" Alley

Dh wanted this giant bed and it is comfortable but I can't move it around on my own and I'm having a hard time buying a comforter/duvet and skirt for it because it's so big. I need recommendations for a California King which, sadly, is larger than a King. I wish he had just bought a King. Thanks! Alley

Want to add that my 6 year old boys LOVED the Little House books. There's lots of "boy" stuff in there thanks to Pa. Trumpet of the Swan was our very favorite. The very funniest: The Exiles and the Exiles at Home. Same author: Dog Friday, Amber Cat, Dophin Song. The last 5 books have kids with awesome, big personalities. Not your usual fare. Really well done. Alley

Thanks, Julie, that was great to read. I needed to see it. Alley

and I want to order it at the library. A friend had it, but I didn't write down the title. Thanks! Alley

Hi Lady ~ I'll pm you too. I bought sing, spell, read and write and wasn't impressed at all. . . for the price. It's very expensive. Out of all of it, I somewhat liked the workbooks. But the little books that the kids learn to read in? My sons hated the fact that there was no real plot in them and sized them up immediately as "learning tools" rather than real books. So we practice reading on real books. Dr. Suess etc. Then I started Writing with Ease and paired that w/ Spelling Workout which gives week by week lessons and is very easy and fun to follow. The two work well together and the boys like both. I was very disappointed in sing, spell, read and write. I really love singing as a way to remember stuff and the singing in this program is lame and barely audible. I felt duped. Plus the video that they send to help instruct the parents is a VHS. Not dvd. So I felt ripped off in that too. For the price it's just not worth it. Alley

I'll share the one we just started that I LOVE: Writing with Ease. Absolutely awesome. Let me know if you'd like to know why. I'm using it for both my "good" writer and not so good writer. They're 6. Alley

Surly ~ You didn't sound insensitive at all. "My first thought" is a figure of speech. Of course our very instant reaction is oh no!! For the parents, for the boy. For everyone. But my second thought, too, was: uh oh. Now I've gotta call my mom and promise not to build helium balloons that the kids could climb in. Alley

Thanks Perry, I really appreciate it! Alley

We went to Tahoe for the weekend and when my pet sitter called to say she arrived and my dogs was doing fine -- also told me that she'd had the swine flu. (I asked if she was feeling okay because I could hear in her voice that she sounded sick.) Her kids haven't gotten it yet. I was upset. I make my boys wash their hands all the time, use the hand sanitizer and now I'm worried that the pet sitter brought the germ in. She was last in our house around 2 p.m. and we arrived around 4 p.m. We bought Lysol wipes and cleaned the door knob, fridge etc. anything she might have touched. My husband said I was being overly cautious, but it seemed like very little to do to keep from catching the germ. We can't get the shot for 2 more weeks. There's a boy nearby who is currently in the hospital w/ confirmed H1N1 w/ pneumonia who had fluid removed from one lung, the other collapsed. We're all waiting to hear the latest. I realize that for most, this flu is mild, but I'd like to avoid it all together if possible. I guess my question is: how long does this germ live on a surface?? Is my house contaminated? The pet sitter only came in, fed the dog, let him out potty etc. She didn't spend the night. Thanks Perry and Everyone!! Alley

We're doing a long weekend in Tahoe. Any restaurants, hotels, activities for families you'd like to suggest? I'm open! I'm having my boys start a nature journal which I have no idea how to facilitate. Or even what kind of notebook to buy them. Any ideas welcome! Alley