Ooh, Elaina Sophia! Or Elena Sofia! Or however you chose to spell it--I think it's beautiful! Especially if you have a fun, flowing, vowel-y last name like "Carrera," but even if you have a more typical one. (But I do still like Elena Rachelle, too :) )

I'm not sure that I've ever seen either of those names as English names, though it's pretty. I've met a woman from Eastern Europe--not sure which country--named Elena, and I've seen it as a Spanish name. I don't believe I've seen the name Elaina before, though it must be real enough because my spell check isn't catching it :) I did know a non-hispanic, white-with-who-knows-what-ancestry American woman named Alaina, though (which my spell check tells me is wrong). I think I like the simplicity and clean look of Elena, though ... but I also can see it being mispronounced with the second "e" being long, too. I think the name sounds nice with the middle name Rachelle, though again we get into mispronunciation issues, because I can see that being pronounced Rachel, whereas I mean it to be "Rah-SHELL." Elena Rachelle / Elaina Rachelle. I'm sure others will have suggestions that I'd love as well, though.

I'm in both positions most of the time--the "rich" friend to one group, and the "poor" friend to another. When we spend time with my husband's work colleagues and their families, we're the poor family, partly because I don't work for pay and partly because we're not willing to sacrifice our other financial goals (avoid debt, save for a house, save for our daughter's college, etc) to give ourselves the phenomenal experiences that others prioritize. We live overseas, and my husband and his colleagues are well compensated, and many justifiably take advantage of those two conditions to get in as much travel as possible now, while it's less expensive than it will be when we're back in the States. Material possessions don't seem to be a big deal among this group, possibly because all of us can afford all we need and a lot of luxuries, but travel is the major expense that I notice others spending on and us foregoing. With this group of friends, I speak freely--we don't vacation together, and that's the main expense, so it's a little odd but not a big deal if I say that I'd love to do something but that our financial priorities are elsewhere, so it isn't in the budget. Meanwhile, I listen to their travel stories and start thinking about whether and how I can adjust our budget to make a trip to the same location work for us, or add it to the "places we'd like to go if possible once our other financial goals are accomplished" list. My other group of friends, however, is mostly missionaries. They rely on support from people back home, and most of them watch every penny. There is the odd family that has very generous supporters, and those odd families go out to eat and go on vacations more frequently than we do, though typically to less expensive locales than our work friends, but most of my missionary friends watch every penny. Moreover, even if they could easily afford to pay US prices for a luxury, they usually can't afford the shipping charges to have it delivered from the US or the taxes to buy imported goods here, so they still have to do without. With this group, I try to be conscious of the things that aren't a big expense to me but are luxuries to them, and while I don't hide them, I try not to mention them ... unless I'm sharing :) Then I bring out the goodies and everyone enjoys them without hard feelings. There could easily be resentment toward me, as I've seen other missionaries experience toward other colleagues who flaunted their privileges and wealth while never sharing them, but because I saw that resentment early on in my overseas life, I've tried--and mostly succeeded, I think--to avoid creating it.

Yes, that is my experience as well. I like melatonin, but typically only as a short term help to get over jet lag or to help me get back on track after falling into a pattern of sleeping too late and then staying awake too late at night. I don't use it if I need to drive or otherwise be particularly alert the next morning.

Previous posters have a lot of good advice, so I won't reinvent the will by saying it again. I do, however, want you to know that you are not alone, God does love you, God is not mad at you, and there is hope.

No advice, just hugs. It sounds like your 3yo ds is similar to my 4yo dd. We considered sending her to preschool for the social aspects but decided against it; we think it would be more harmful than helpful for her, and when I ask her if she'd like to go, she's adamantly against the idea. She gets too upset at being away from us, and she seems to have some social anxiety as well--even when we're there, she clings to us rather than playing with the other kids unless she's had a long time to watch them and get to "know" them without being vulnerable. Unless a child is very extroverted and pursues her attention, she'll sit on the sidelines for a full year and watch before finally deciding that one or two kids are nice and are her friends. It is exhausting. I get a break during the day by insisting on quiet rest time in her room--and she's mostly ok with that because it's such a familiar place and because I've proven to her that I can see and hear her through the video baby monitor--but I don't have younger children. I'm hoping with you that our children mature out of it like previous posters' kids did!

Throw them in the crock pot, then cover them with a jar of salsa. Cook on high for 3-4 hours. Voila! Easy, tasty dinner.

I'd either hide it when I'm done with it or create a more general category: Education Expenses, Lessons, Special/Short Term Projects, etc.

Sounds like you've got it under control. It's a route he's familiar with, routines he's done before, no layovers where things could get wonky. I'd go over personal security stuff til he could quote it to me in his sleep because I'm paranoid like that, but he's probably a pretty savvy traveler already.

I think it would be fine, though it may take some creativity to find a place to put the flowers (which should come in a vase so they can be put down) where they won't tip over in a potentially crowded restaurant. If there's any doubt in your mind, I'd call or email your cousin, explain what you want to do, and make sure it's ok. When we held a "no gifts" party for our daughter, we told people who asked that we were ok with consumable gifts, but that we'd said no gifts because we didn't have room for a bunch of non-consumable gifts.

Use two thin, long pads: one more toward the front, the two overlapping in the middle, and one all the way up the back. Also counsel her to sit up straighter rather than reclining on problematic days, and to go to the bathroom based on the clock rather than her bladder. Or she can try tampons.

What is the problem, exactly? My advice would be different depending on what's going on: If she's not regular enough yet to predict and therefore gets caught unawares, so the ruined pants occur at the start each month, I would counsel her to take a purse with her everywhere and to have supplies always available. Use something like the Android app My Days to keep track of her start dates, and even if she's irregular, she should have an idea of when it's getting close. Once she believes she'll start soon, she can either go to the bathroom more frequently to check, or she can just start using a pad so she's prepared whenever she does start. Also, she can start wearing darker colored bottoms to help hide it if she starts unexpectedly. Does she wait too long to go to the bathroom, or have an unusually heavy flow, and so there are leaks? If so, counsel her to go to the bathroom by the clock rather than by whether or not she thinks she needs to go on those days. This could be a problem if she's in a public high school with limited time between classes, but she may be able to enlist the help of the school nurse to get excused tardies for a few days a month. Also, if leaks are a problem and she can't go to the bathroom more frequently, she may need to use thicker pads or higher absorbency tampons. Doubling up thinner pads also can help increase absorbency with minimal increase in discomfort. I also suggest thin, long pads with wings for younger girls. However, if she wants to try tampons, that could help increase absorbency without decreasing physical comfort, and it would allow to double up tampons and pads if needed during times when she can't get to the bathroom. When possible--and it isn't always--she may prefer also to carry a spare set of underwear and/or pants in her bag, just in case she needs to change while away from home. (I wouldn't recommend carrying those in a store that sells clothing though ... I have visions of being accused of shoplifting ...)

I have not faced this decision myself, though I most likely would put my daughter in a traditional school until the crisis was past. One of my friends here did face that decision, though there really wasn't much of a decision for her to make--she's a missionary, she can't afford the private international schools here, and her daughter doesn't speak Albanian well enough to attend a public school here. She continued homeschooling but made it a very light year, doing what she could when she could, focusing on the essentials, letting everything else go, and planning to go year-round.

Thank You! We went with the less expensive Picasso Tiles option for one of our daughter's Christmas gifts this year. She hasn't stopped playing with them--even when she wants to play with her other gifts, she works in the tiles by making rooms for the other toys to be in, or little cages for the small toys, or stages for the toys to perform on, or she makes a triangle stand up to be a Christmas tree for the toys, or whatever else she comes up with. I'm already thinking we may need to expand her collection of tiles for her birthday, since she wants to make larger and larger rooms. She hasn't shown any interest in the idea pamphlet they included, but she hasn't needed any ideas, either! I'm convinced these are the coolest things ever, and if she'd ever stop playing with them, I wouldn't mind a go at them myself :tongue_smilie: So, thank you for raving about MagnaTiles!

Thank you, Violet Crown! We can have items shipped from the States, so usually books are available to us. And if it's available on Kindle, it's even easier. I will take a look.

Thank you all! I will have some googling and link-clicking to keep me occupied during my daughter's rest times for the next couple of weeks, I think. Please keep the ideas coming :) That sounds interesting--do you share that anywhere, either for free or for purchase?

Thank you, Chris in VA! I will check out those links.

This question is related to my other post about the liturgical calendar, but I think it's different enough to deserve a post of its own. I grew up in an evangelical church, in a denomination where many people honestly believed that Christians from other evangelical denominations may or may not be Christians, and those from non-evangelical traditions certainly were not Christians. I never really bought into that, but as a result of being raised around so many who did believe that, I learned very little about church history or about Christian traditions other than my own. I now consider myself a nondenominational Christian who feels most comfortable in evangelical churches, but who recognizes that my lack of comfort with other traditions stems more from lack of familiarity than from any "wrongness" on the part of other traditions. I view Christians from other traditions as just that--Christians from other traditions, with different backgrounds from me, who worship in different ways than me, but who are not wrong for worshiping God differently from us. I would like to foster this attitude in myself and eventually in my daughter. I think one way to get started, to increase my familiarity with other traditions and to introduce my daughter to the idea that Christians are Christians, no matter how we worship, is to begin learning about the saints and other important people from the histories of various traditions. I would love for the day to come in our homeschool when I tell my daughter, "Today is a very important day, a day when Saint So-and-So of Tradition X is remembered. Today we're going to learn about and celebrate his life," and then a week or two later say that same thing about Saint This-and-That of Tradition Y, and later about Not-a-Saint-Such-and-Such of Tradition Z, in each case talking about the person's life and service to God and how that person impacted his or her community and future generations, and how that person is honored by a certain segment of Christianity, all the while pointing out that the person served God and had an impact and it doesn't matter that the person is not considered a saint or a VIP by our own tradition. In order to see that day in our homeschool, I need to educate myself about various saints and VIPs from various traditions. So, finally, my question: who in your tradition is considered a saint or a VIP? When and what is done to honor that person? What are your favorite resources for learning or teaching about that individual? My initial concern is educating myself, and then educating my daughter later, but if the resources you suggest are appropriate for young children, that's all good, too! I also am interested in resources for learning about church history--all traditions of Christianity--but at this point, I'm really interested in broad overviews rather than details. For example, I know that the Coptic Orthodox Church was begun in Egypt by St. Paul (I think it was Paul ... I'll need to look that up again) on his missionary journeys, and for now, that's enough detail about when and where and why that branch of Christianity began. Thank you!

Every November and December, I hear lots about Advent and Christmas, and I hear references to the liturgical calendar. I grew up in a Southern Baptist church, where the liturgical calendar is never mentioned, so it took me a while even to wrap my head around the concept of a liturgical year. Yet I am incredibly drawn to it--to the idea of Christmas as a season, not merely a day; to the idea of annual rhythms and patterns to worship; to the idea of structured times throughout the year that are dedicated to honoring God in certain ways. I am interested in learning more about the liturgical calendar, with an eye toward incorporating aspects of it into my family's life. Mostly I am interested in an overview of the different seasons, when they fall, how long they last, and how they are acknowledged/observed/celebrated in family life. To show how clueless I am: I don't even know if the liturgical calendar is the same for Catholics, Anglicans, the various Orthodox traditions, etc. I would like to learn about major similarities and differences among the various "brands" of Christianity (for lack of a better way to say it). If your family follows a liturgical calendar, I would love to hear recommendations about where a newbie can go for an overview! (I may eventually want more detail, but for now, we'll start with an overview.) I am outside the United States in a country that is predominantly Muslim and where the few Christian congregations mostly speak Serbian or Albanian (neither of which I speak), so web pages are good, books that are available on Kindle are good, but "go down the street to the Catholic/Orthodox/whatever church and talk to the priest/get a pamphlet" won't really work for me (though I do have access to US mail, so pamphlets by mail could work). Thank you for your recommendations!

I have some (a little) familiarity with the game. I believe the coat is worn in the game by the main character, who is an assassin ... but I think he mostly assassinates really bad guys. To my knowledge, there is no stigma attached to the jacket--the person who wears it is as close to a good guy/hero as the game has. Of course, what familiarity I have with the game is mostly from the first one, and I believe there are a couple of sequels now--I do not know in which game that jacket is worn, or how the main character may have changed (or not) from how he was in the first game. Whether you want him to wear a coat as unusual as that (opens him to teasing/bullying, possibly; may attract unusual scrutiny from other adults who are not familiar with the game and who may wonder what gang is affiliated with it; marks him as a gamer, at least among those who know the game)--well, that's up to you. You're best in a position to judge whether that would be good, neutral, or bad for your son.

I also would pay off the van. I look at it from a reverse standpoint: if I already had no debt, would I go into debt using my van as collateral (assuming that was even possible, which it probably wouldn't be) in order to get enough money for that down payment? I wouldn't, so I wouldn't stay in debt for that down payment either.

I also get carsick if I try to read etc while riding in a car, and I can't focus on audio books to save my life, despite my absolute love of reading. However, I can focus on talk radio, podcasts, etc., things where the tone is more conversational. So maybe you could try that--not audio books, but podcasts about topics you find interesting.

I don't have boys, but my husband's go-to gift for boys that age (or any age above 5, really): walkie talkies. If you take them out of the packaging, they should fit in most stockings (depending on what else you have in there), and if you put batteries in them, it'll be even better because they'll be ready to go already.

:lurk5: I'm curious about that, too. It seems like it would be too much, but so many people do it that I wonder.

My 4yo used her pacifier (she called it a "mouthie") as a security object. She finally weaned from it within the last few months. First, we limited it to bedtime and naptime only. If she was going to sleep, she could have it. If she wanted it at other times, she could have it only if she wanted it badly enough to lie down in her bed with it. She rarely wanted it that badly. Then, we started using this pacifier weaning system: http://www.onestepahead.com/pacifier-weaning-system.pro . We told her that we had some special mouthies for big girls. She was very interested and wanted to try them. However, she couldn't .... not until she was willing to throw away all of her other mouthies. We told that that these special big girl mouthies had to be used by themselves. She could only use the #1 mouthie after she threw away all of her "baby" mouthies. Then we told her that she could use the #1 as long as she wanted, but that she couldn't try the #2 until after she threw away the #1. No going back. She was in a phase of wanting to be a big girl, so she immediately threw away all her baby mouthies and went for the #1 that night. She said she liked it, but she wanted to try the #2 the next night--I think she was hoping it wouldn't have the hollow area that #1 had, but instead it had a bigger one. She flew threw them until the #4. Then she announced that she didn't like it, but she still needed a mouthie, so she wanted to try the #5.. We warned her she'd like it even less, but she wanted to try it. She hated it--it's just a little stub, not even big enough to keep it in the mouth easily. She cried and wanted her old mouthies back, but we told her how sorry we were that she was unhappy, but that she couldn't have her old mouthies back; they were in the trash. She wanted us to go buy more, but we refused and just held her and hugged her. She slept with the #5 clutched to her chest for a few nights. Then one night she dropped it and never noticed. It wasn't an easy week or so, but it was more painless than we expected. Mouthie #5 is still sitting on her dresser, btw, but she hasn't held it for several weeks now. Since the pacifier is being used as a security object, it will help if you can get her attached to something else instead. The mouthie was my daughter's primary security object, but she also always sleeps with stuffed animals and takes one with her everywhere she goes--so her primary security object was the mouthie, but a stuffed animal always was present as a backup. While weaning, she transferred her security needs to the stuffed animals exclusively.