Oh Eaglei, what a blessing it has been to behold the courage and faith of your dear son and family over the course of what you have shared with us--a tiny sliver of your day to day experience. We have all been moved and inspired by your witness to Christ. We are praying for the peaceful repose of your beloved son. May his memory be eternal. May the love and mercy of God fill your days with peace and comfort.

I feel the same way. It is NOT mental illness. I also have anxiety and a fractured family of origin. It is OK to show different sides of yourself to different people. My coffee house friends do not know me the way my childhood friends know me and those people don't know me the way my church family knows me. I don't think it's being fake because they would all likely describe the same personality traits that I possess but the content of conversations, interests, and experiences would vary wildly among those groups. Reading your post made me think that you might benefit from Transactional Analysis or Gestalt therapy. You must find someone who is well trained in these styles to get the best outcome, but it is well worth the time and money. I can't recommend it highly enough. I know I still have a lot of work to do, but I found TA and Gestalt therapy very empowering and life changing. I hope you b find what you're looking for! God bless!

Still praying for your son and your family. Lord have mercy. (((Hugs)))

Both of my parents were in law enforcement. They also were reformers who worked to change corrections and institutions. My dad traveled around the country giving talks and training other law enforcement officials in using his alternative corrections program which was costly but effective. There are many people still trying to carry on his work. I will see what I can find out and pm you if I get some reliable names of individuals or organizations you can contact.

My favorite pants are jersey knit wide leg palazzo pants. They are flattering on my figure which is on the rotund side. I have a feeling the ones you are thinking of are not the same.

Bingo.

We know that those things did not happen instead of the hair cutting and public shaming. They may have taken place in addition to... but they didn't happen instead of. Unfortunately.

The painful reality is that a lot of what we did as teens and a lot of what we call "misbehaving" are cries for attention. I wonder what it could have been like if this girl's parents sought family counseling instead of public shaming. I wonder how it would've affected the outcome if dad had taken her on a date instead of cutting off her hair. So heartbroken. Lord have mercy.

Still praying for your son. O Christ, Who alone art our Defender: Visit and heal Thy suffering servant Eagle's son, delivering him from sickness and grievous pains. Raise him up that he may sing to Thee and praise Thee without ceasing, O Thou Who alone lovest mankind.

I was brought up in a cultish sect that is very gnostic and not really Christian even though they *think* they are and it's interesting to note that while the focus wasn't on one's sin, the physical state of health and wealth were considered direct reflections of one's closeness to God. This is a very arrogant tradition that believed in the authority of it's one female founder above all else (even Christ's) and I think this need to be always perfect, always in bliss, and always "manifesting God's Truth" is a reflection of that arrogance. I am happy to be part of a normal, mainstream religion that accepts humanity as fallible and fallen. It's much less crazy making to be able to go to confession and just be real than to always have to look like I got my $^*& figured out, kwim?

I don't think Christians are the only ones who struggle with pride and vanity.

Continuing to pay for you all. Lord have mercy.

I have a shout out for Shriners but nothing current as far as experience goes. My husband has a very rare congenital condition that involves fused vertebrae, Sprengels shoulder, scoliosis, and a host of other physical problems. He had his surgeries at Shriners in San Francisco 30 plus years ago. They did an excellent job with his spinal surgeries and shoulder surgery. His life would be very different today if it weren't for Shriners. We donate to them when we can.

Oh dear (((Eaglei)))...Hold firm to the 23rd Psalm. Praying for you, your son, your family, your friends, and the attending medical professionals caring for your boy. God bless and keep each of you. I will keep my candle lit for you all tonight. Peace be with you.

There are different expressions of npd and I was raised under the martyr type of narcissist. What made it doubly difficult was that she was also a "practitioner" in her religion which carries a lot of status and credibility. Anyone who doesn't know better thinks she's a saint!

It is possible that they are deluding themselves into believing the lies they are telling, but in my experience it is something different. They are the ultimate bullies and always want to be cast in the best light, so they will stop at nothing in order to illustrate their own greatness by comparison to others in terms of how "concerned" and "sympathetic" they are towards the scapegoat's made-up plight. For example, they often want to cast the scapegoat as mentally ill, after the scapegoat draws a line or puts up a boundary for the Narcissist. Under the guise of deep concern they will start calling others up to pull into their made up reality: "Have you talked to Jane lately? Oh you haven't? Well I am quite concerned! She wasn't making any sense when I talked with her and she started making crazy accusations against me! It was so unlike her! I am afraid she has finally gone over the edge! She accused me of tampering with her personal life and making up lies about her! Can you believe it? I felt so awful for her because I know she didn't mean it and I know she loves me, so I didn't take it personally, but I feel so worried about what will happen to her now. Oh yes, I've seen this coming for years! Well, since she is so fragile right now, if you do see her, please don't mention that I told you anything. We don't want to upset poor Jane anymore when she is in such a state. All we can do is pray for her. Please tell me you will pray for her. I appreciate it. Thank you, dear." I have listened to this kind of conversation between my mother and others all my life. She subtly makes herself sound like the victim and the hero all at once. They are crafty as heck! They don't believe their lies, but they sure as heck want other people to and people give a lot of credence to concern for other people's well fare.

I lived in China for a number of years and my mother told everyone (my friends and relatives) while I was overseas that I had been brainwashed by Chinese communists. I guess that was the only reason she could find to explain why I wanted to be there. She had called 3 of my friends the night before I returned to see if they'd meet me at the airport to take me to a treatment center. Thank God they didn't buy her story but all the people who didn't know better treated me like I was fragile and I didn't understand why until my childhood best friend told me about the plan to "deprogram" me. There are perfectly lovely people out there who believe so many lies she's told about me. It used to bother me but so what if people think I'm an evil, hurtful, ungrateful, brainwashed, communist, Catholic (she refuses to acknowledge that there is a difference between Orthodoxy and Catholicism)?

I would save it and excavate bits from it for future projects if applicable and fitting. There's probably good material that can be re-purposed.

Heavenly Father, physician of our souls and bodies, Who have sent Your only-begotten Son and our Lord Jesus Christ to heal every sickness and infirmity, visit and heal also Your servant Eaglei's son from all physical and spiritual ailments through the grace of Your Christ. Grant him patience in this sickness, strength of body and spirit, and recovery of health. Lord, You have taught us through Your word to pray for each other that we may be healed. I pray, heal Your servant Eaglei's son and grant to him the gift of complete health. For You are the source of healing and to You we give glory, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen. O Lord our God, Who by a word alone did heal all diseases, Who did cure the kinswoman of Peter, You Who chastise with pity and heal according to Your goodness; Who are able to put aside every sickness and infirmity, do You Yourself, the same Lord, grant aid to Your servant Eaglei's son and cure him of every sickness of which he is grieved; and send down upon him Your great mercy, and if it be Your will, give to him health and a complete recovery; for You are the Physician of our souls and bodies, and to You do we send up Glory: to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Both now and forever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.

I did not like this curriculum. If you are young earth and protestant, you will find the material compatible. However the delivery still leaves much to be desired as it is written in a very fluffy style and does contain (most likely unintentional) bigotry. The author actually opens the first chapter on China with the question, "Do you like Chinese food?" which just falls flat and smacks of ignorance about the actual culture and region. As a person of color, it's rather off putting to read that interbreeding (a term for animals not people) is the cause for my ethnicity's (Chinese) distinctive looks. She ends the chapter by encouraging the reader to pray for Chinese people to find Jesus which makes a lot of assumptions and is very misleading. I cannot recommend this curriculum. Edited to reduce snarky tone.

Praying and holding your family in thought today. Peace and the Love of God be with you all.

:grouphug: O Lord our God, the Physician of our souls and bodies, look down upon Thy servant Eaglei's son and cure him of all infirmities of the flesh, in the Name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, with Whom Thou art blessed, together with Thy Most Holy, Gracious, and Life-giving Spirit, always, now and forever, and unto ages of ages. Amen. :grouphug:

Someone up thread asked if dh had insomnia before the move out of state and the answer is "no." In fact, he didn't ever have insomnia until the night before his interview for the job he now has, which I think it significant. He is aware of the current thought on maintaining proper sleep hygiene. He knows the dos and don'ts but he hasn't exactly followed them. I don't nag him about it because it will turn into an argument. He would like for me to be the one to set the tone for the whole home and enact the sleep hygiene practices that he needs for everyone across the board. I am admittedly a night owl and he wants me to get the kids (who are night owls as well) to bed earlier and for me to go to bed at 10 pm to make it easier for him to do so. I think he sees my resistance to complying with this request as an affront to him and as antagonistic to his needs. This is tricky for me. I have a lot of work that I get done after the kids are sleeping (cleaning, grading, prepping, writing, etc.) and I can't afford to lose my productive night time hours to accomplish these goals. I just don't go to bed by 10 pm. The earliest I go to bed would be about 11:30 or midnight. I have always been this way even when I had to be up by 5:30 am for work. That is how my clock works. This is the crux of our problem with regard to this issue. He sees my inability (unwillingness?) to conform to his wishes as the reason why he cannot implement proper sleep habits in his own life. My dad was a cop. He worked all kinds of crazy shifts. It was never a requirement in our household growing up that we went to bed when my father had to go to bed. The requirement was that we not make a peep so he could sleep. In his childhood home, his dad went to bed way earlier than his mom and it is still that way to this day. So, I am not sure who he is looking to as a model for the kind of set up he desires. I make sure the house is still and quiet for dh when he goes to bed. If the kids are still up, they are in their room being quiet. I know I could do more to make this easier for him, but I do think his request is unfair. How much responsibility do I need to accept for his inability to overcome insomnia? Please be kind if you reply to this question. I really have the best intentions for helping my husband, but I am not sure if he is being reasonable or unreasonable. I know I can do things somewhat differently, but I am resistant to following his desires as stated. Thanks again!

He says he enjoys it, but I can tell when there is fire in his belly and this job doesn't bring that out in him. I think he likes that he is good at it, but it is NOT his passion. His passion is land restoration and conservation but it doesn't pay the bills as well as the opposite of that does (land development :scared: ). Does he feel conflicted and a little bit like he sold out? He says "no" every time I ask him.

He eats a pretty decent diet of which the majority is fresh, organic, and home-cooked. He has zero allergies except to the contrast dye in ct scans. We don't eat a lot of red meat and we are vegans for about half the year, including every Wednesday and Friday in addition to longer periods that span several sustained weeks in duration.