Thanks again for all the helpful replies. Everyone has said something supportive and helpful and I really appreciate it! Dh came home with an rx for celexa and a refill on the ativan. He is supposed to only use the ativan as a last resort, so hopefully he can hold out and see if the celexa has any initial positive results but I realize that it normally takes a while. We are going to do a couples session with his therapist next week and I am feeling much more hopeful about things at the moment. Thank you for your support and if you pray, please remember us in your prayers. Thank you!

He is seeing a CBT therapist. I keep asking if the therapist has things for him to practice and he remains vague about it. I don't press him because I don't want to have him erect even bigger communication blockades. He goes to bed later on Fridays and sleeps in on Saturdays. Even though he is supposed to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, he prefers to feel like he is "free" on Friday night and Saturday morning.

Lots of good questions, Tap! We moved from a rural area in Northern California to a large metropolitan area and it was really easy for him to ride his bike to work or take the car in the morning and come home for lunch and trade with me when we lived in CA. Now it makes more sense for him to take the bus (23 min. commute) since he gets a free public trans pass through his work and the bus stop is right near our place. He likes having the time to read a novel or the newspaper to and from work. I don't think it is demoralizing. He likes having the space to transition mentally between home and work. He left behind some great friends but he also did not see them with any frequency. The people that he has been the closest with also moved here so we kind of have a little exodus tribe here. He did really love his former work and the accolades that went with it, but it did not pay competitively at all and we didn't have any health insurance or retirement. We have both now, thank God. We are carving out a nice little life here and making some really nice friendships with people who are on a completely different wave length than a lot of the people we knew back in CA. We are getting to know people who are , from what we can tell, quite simply great role models for how to live a life of authenticity and accountability and for this we feel quite blessed! I would love for him to find a medication that works for his anxiety because I completely agree with you! I am not too keen on the effects of the tranquilizers though. Hmph.

Thanks for the attitude adjustment assistance. It's very helpful and I'm sorry your loved one suffers migraines. That's hard!

Oh and the clinic is a walk-in clinic.

This! Thank you for spelling out what I was having difficulty putting into words.

Thanks for relating to my feeling about it. I feel terrible for being so critical of him without being in his shoes.

I'm going to discuss this with him tonight. He ended up going to the office late. He tapered off the ativan last time and he was using the trazidone simultaneously.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I will pm you later today PJ! I asked dh if he was willing to see a psychiatrist this morning and he didn't say one way or the other. He said he was just going to go to the clinic by his work for the ativan rx. As for talking, dh has never been very open with me about what he has discussed in therapy. He interprets doctor patient privilege differently than i do. This isn't new, but I am going to request a joint session with the therapist.

I don't need him to be fun and bubbly, I just need him to be present.

Hello Hive! I am hoping someone who's btdt can offer some sage advice on the issue I'm having with dh and his insomnia. Here's the background: We moved to a new state last summer for a new job for dh. Ever since we moved here, he's been battling insomnia and has had to call in sick several times due to sleeplessness. He is currently seeing a therapist because it seems to be performance anxiety related insomnia as he sleeps fine on weekends and holidays, but not work nights. He says he likes his job and he keeps getting raises and positive feedback at work. This is his first senior level position with a number of reports and his first city government job. He has to wake up earlier for this job than his prior jobs because we are relying on mass transit for him to get to work since we only have 1 car. A couple months ago he got an rx for Ativan for a back up sleep aid to be used sparingly when the trazidone he was previously prescribed doesn't cut it. It got to the point where he could only sleep on weeknights if he took the ativan as the trazidone had become completely ineffective. He ran out of ativan about 7 weeks ago and I insisted that he pursue counseling for the anxiety instead of treating symptoms with tranquilizers. He agreed and went back to the trazidone only and found a good therapist. Things improved for about 5 weeks, but have taken a serious nose dive in the past 2 weeks. He doesn't really share much about the ground he's covering in therapy and it doesn't seem like he has any homework to practice from the therapist. After calling in sick for the 3rd time in 2 weeks this morning, he decided that he just needs to go back on ativan. I'm opposed to this solution because of how dependence forming ativan is and because it makes him a zombie at home. He takes it at 8pm and by 8:30 he is just high and in his own world, preventing him from connecting with me or the kids. He is able to sleep and he feels great in the morning and throughout the day at work, but by the time he gets home he is tired and irritable and anxious about sleep. I feel like I'm losing the man I love to this problem. His work loves him, but we are getting the short end of the stick, so the kids and I are learning to live without him. We haven't slept in the same bed (except for weekends) for months because he can't sleep with anyone else in the room. I feel really lonely and isolated. He is so different now due to sleep deprivation without the ativan that I know he needs something! He is usually pretty sentimental and thoughtful around mother's day but he did absolutely nothing for me yesterday and didn't even have the capacity to recognize that he did nothing even though my daughter kept asking what the plan was all day. He was just consumed with anxiety about how he was going to sleep. I'm having a heck of a time being compassionate toward him since I feel like I'm the one getting the shaft and because I've lived with chronic insomnia all my life and I guess I've just always powered through without relying on drugs or calling in sick. It's diminishing the esteem I have for him and I'm feeling very insecure about our marriage and future finances. How can I help dh overcome this and how can I adjust my own attitude to benefit the family during this difficult time? Thanks!

We are on our spring vacation this week and next week. It's nice but ironically we are up and out of the house everyday this week by 8 am to make it to Holy Week services (Orthodox Easter). We normally sleep in during school days until 9:30 or 10 am. I love that we are not hemmed in by a brick and mortar school schedule.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I made fun of my class mate's warts one day. The very next day, I woke up to find a large wart on the palm of my right hand, on the pad just below the index figure. Boy did I feel like a jerk!

You make a good point, Milovany,regarding the difference in feastal calendar. My earlier comment was more focused on how belonging to a liturgical church changes the significance of certain dates. I never understood the meaning of Holy Week before I became Orthodox and even though I celebrated Western Easter before, I wasn't a Trinitarian Christian and I had only one or two friends who were and we rarely talked about religion. I totally would have scoffed at the notion of missing a social gathering in order to attend a weekday service because I had no context for it.

Pascha or Easter is the Feast of Feasts for Traditional Christians. Holy Week is of utmost importance to us. It's hard to understand if you don't observe the liturgical calendar (I remember what it was like to be in your shoes). I schedule spring break to start on the Monday of Holy Week and end on the Friday of Bright Week, so that we will be available for all the church services leading up to Easter and have a full week to celebrate during the week after.

We have an excellent workbook titled "What to do when you worry too much." It's been a great help for my daughter with anxiety. Also, read the book Freeing Your Child from Anxiety by Tamar E. Chansky. There is a Kindle version for immediate satisfaction. I hope this helps. Peace be with you.

According to my Adobe Photoshop the colors in RGB are 104, 120, 153 (Periwinkle) and 134, 117, 89 (Golden Brown). I think we perceive the colors according to how our brains think they would look in perfect lighting.

I tilted my screen and now it's blue and Black

My 3 year old sees blue where I see white and gray where I see gold. I see a hideous vinyl white dress trimmed with strips of gold lace and sequins. Go figure.

Have you considered visiting an Eastern Orthodox Christian church? It will meet all three of your expressed desires. The liturgy (work of the people) that is celebrated most often is the same service (although truncated) as it was over 1600 years ago when it was celebrated by St. John Chrysostom. Once a year we get to experience the Liturgy of St. James the Apostle on his feast day and 10 times per year we enjoy the longer and very beautiful Liturgy of St. Basil the Great. The liturgy is divided into two services: the Liturgy of the Word which culminates with the Gospel reading wherein we hear the Word of God and the Liturgy of the Eucharist (Thanksgiving) which culminates with the faithful Orthodox Christians approaching the Lord to partake of the Mystical Supper. The priest gives an instructional homily (sermon) that is often relevant to the day's Gospel, Epistle, or Feast immediately following the Gospel reading and right before the beginning of the Liturgy of the Eucharist. I don't know what non-Orthodox church budgets look like, but Orthodox church budgets will very depending on the size and status of a parish. Some churches are mission churches and therefore have very tight budgets with heavy reliance on the faithful to volunteer to see to certain needs of the community. The priest will have a stipend but it will usually not be enough to support a family on. During this phase of parish development, the church may be literally housed in a parishioner's home until the church has received enough financial support from the community for a dedicated building. I think all churches have at least one all-parish meeting per year in which all the financial and stewardship details of the congregation are shared with everyone. The church has a council with members that are nominated and voted in on a rotating basis. Most parishes will have budget line items for Sunday School, youth activities, choir, outreach ministries, building maintenance and improvements, cleaning, fellowship (Agape meals) furnishings, etc. Just as St. John the Baptist leaped withing the womb of his mother, Elizabeth, upon the arrival of Mary who was pregnant with his Lord, Orthodox Christians believe that infants have not only the capacity of faith but the need for being joined (baptized into) to the Church from the start. Orthodox do not believe in children being separated from the rest of the community during Divine services. Children are expected to be present and participate at an age-appropriate level. Young boys are encouraged to serve as acolytes, and young girls are often encouraged to participate in choir singing and chanting. Older children often help beleaguered parents with young ones by reading stories to the little ones, taking them up to light candles and venerate icons, or by assisting them as they approach the Chalice for Communion. As they say, "if you don't hear babies crying, the church is dying." Edited to provide links.

Blessed Clean Monday!

Amen, Jennifer B.

I'm also Orthodox, and aside from what Milovany stated about the Eucharist, I would add that the thing that keeps church as a top priority in our lives is that it is the healing refuge away from the self and all its tiresome demands. When we enter the church for communion and prayer we are approaching God in heaven and our aim is to 'lay aside all earthly cares.' I'm sure that this may not be the case for all Orthodox Christians, but for my family there is nothing to prefer or seek over and above the wisdom and grace already offered and received in our church services. We don't view the church as something that serves us. The Church is the bride of Christ and we serve Him, however unworthy each of its members are to do so, as He ministers to us through the church.

I tried the test but it didn't work. I will try again tomorrow.

I agree and it was because we relied on labor for manufacturing which quickly became too expensive.