Yeah, the yard is definitely what caught dh's eye. And the kids too. (Although the sellers have a friendly kitten that didn't hurt the deal -- nor the the fact that they left cookies for the kids!) I wish there was some way we could afford to pay cash for a house -- but unfortunately that's not going to happen!

LOL... Okay, here are some pics. If it got sold out from under us, I would not cry over it. But I think I would be disappointed to the extent that there is really nothing else for sale right now that I'd even consider. So I would feel like we missed out from that standpoint. But it's not like I would mourn its loss or anything.

When we decided to start looking, the idea was to find something we could live in forever. We had originally planned to build, and for a variety of reasons, that is off the table now. This house will not be the kind of house that could be permanent for us. However, we are both only 36, the kids are young, and it would make a nice home for the next 15-20 years while we raise them and get them through college. At that point, we can revisit building and/or buying something else. As much as I would like to find a "forever" home right now (I hate moving and really like the idea of my kids having "their" home to come back to), I am okay with settling in for the next two decades, with the option to do something else at that time. Adding a bedroom on to this house's main level would be an enormous undertaking. Laundry and both full bathrooms are upstairs as well. I don't see it as an option for us as we age. In fact, the couple who are selling are doing so because they are elderly. The original idea was to contract most of the work and do it before we moved in. We are in a position in our current home to make that happen (financially and because we could stay here until it was finished without having to worry about selling). I doubt it would be possible to do it if we were to buy another house. My dad has a home improvement company that would handle the bulk of the work, but I would still have to manage the project and help with the labor. And yeah, I think I am probably romanticizing both the process and the end result of my "dream" farmhouse. As one of our contractors said, "You can do all this work and in the end you still have a house built in 1938." The Victorian is growing on me. We're going back for another look tomorrow, and my parents are tagging along. I'm starting to get some ideas for making it "mine," most of which can be done over time and on a budget.

Neighborhood is great -- rural but in a cul-de-sac with about 8 houses. The lot is very private, which is important to us. Location: a bit further away from our activities than we are now, but not bad (5-10 minutes). Price is towards the top of our range, but easily within our means.

Yes, although this is admittedly my dream and not his. But he generally is pretty much along for the ride. I'm a bit surprised he's as excited about this house as he is. He wants us to agree on what to do, though, and he will not be upset if I want to wait. I think it's likely that I will not love a house until I've made it "mine." But there are some houses that I can walk inside and immediately envision what I would do to make it my own. This house is not one of them. I think that, more than anything, is what's bothering me. On the other hand, the last vision I had (to renovate that old farmhouse) turned out to be unrealistic. :sad: ETA: We do have a realtor.

Yes, actually. There is a house near my parents that I think would be great. But I haven't been inside it so I don't know for sure. It seems like a crazy idea!!

DH likes it a lot. Probably as much as he would ever like a house, as he doesn't tend to get too dramatically worked up one way or the other about these things. ETA: I WANT to love it. And I think I could learn to like it a great deal. But it isn't my dream house.

The situation: We went this afternoon for a second look at a house we're thinking about buying. DH would make an offer today. The kids love it. I am on the fence. The house has all the major features we're looking for: great yard, privacy, nice kitchen, right number of beds/baths, extra room for our office/schoolroom. It needs a little work, but mostly it's minor (think paint and possibly some flooring). The only thing I really dislike is that all the bedrooms are upstairs (I would prefer the master on the main level), but I don't consider that a deal-breaker. We want to be close to our family, so our search area is quite limited, and there is very little for sale in that area in our price range. This is the only house in the whole area that we would even consider purchasing at this time. We could all be reasonably happy in this house. BUT... But, I don't LOVE the house. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted a farm house, preferably an old farmhouse that I can fix up. (We actually just gave up on one after several months of trying to buy it because the cost to renovate it was insurmountable.) This house is a Victorian -- very pretty, but not my dream. There are houses that are much closer to my dream around here, but no way to know if any of them will go on the market anytime soon, of course. Or if we will be able to buy and/or remodel it if one did. We are in a position at the moment where we could wait. We don't have to sell our current house (it belongs to my family), and we don't have to move. Staying here will allow us to save more money. And if we DID find something to renovate, we could live here cheaply while we did so (obviously much harder with a larger house payment and/or needing to sell). But we've been here for 8 years and we are both climbing the walls. We want to move. Should I bite the bullet, stop being ridiculous, and just be happy in this perfectly nice house -- but take a chance on missing out on something I love? Or should I hold out for what I really want -- even if there's a chance it won't come along?

I'm glad it helped. I have spent many hours thinking about this, because my dad is a smart, well-adjusted guy. It's fascinating to me how he can be so easily snowed by people he perceives to be in "authority." Plus, I can be somewhat like him, though I think to a lesser degree, but thankfully I have dh, whose nutjob radar is unparalleled. I really hope I'm wrong about our church. Like, really really hope. But the whole atmosphere just creeps me out. We are adding new members every week, too, and I just think it's not going to end well. :(

My mother often says, "The problem with parenting is that it's so... daily." Truer words were never spoken. And when you get very few breaks from the daily (sometimes hourly) grind of being the parent of small children, you can start to feel like you're going slowly insane. Is there someone who could watch the children for an hour or two once a week so you can go for a walk and clear your head? In my house, at least, things are always better when Mom is relaxed. The local YMCA might be an option as well, if you have one; they usually have scholarships available to low-income families, and often offer short periods of childcare so you can get some exercise or just recharge a bit. And you can always hang out with us -- you'll find a very supportive community here. Your children obviously have parents who love them very much and are doing everything they can to give them a bright future. They are going to be just fine.

With some personalities, this would totally backfire, but I would be tempted to tell him he can *only* write about bunnies. :p Maybe you could spend some time together brainstorming every way you can think of to describe bunnies -- what they look like, the different ways they hop and eat, etc., etc. Read books and look at pictures and watch videos about bunnies. (Some descriptive passages from Rabbit Hill or Watership Down might be good for this, but it's been a looong time since I read them!) Then let him take all those images of bunnies and apply them in his writing. If he wants to write about bunnies, give him the tools to write in a really creative way about... bunnies.

:grouphug: Maybe someone got it on video?

If we're out with my parents, my dad usually pays. There is always a discussion between him and dh, but dad picks up the tab most of the time. Sometimes we pay for our family and mom and dad pay their own bill. Once in a blue moon, they will consent to letting us buy their meal (usually for a special occasion, like a birthday or Mother's/Father's Day). Same deal when we're out with dh's dad and stepmom (though this rarely happens). DH's mom is always happy for us to pick up the tab. She never offers to get ours. She rarely offers to get her own.

Thoroughly enjoyed it. Wouldn't call it literature. Stick to the classics.

ITA. My parents (well, mostly my dad, my mom went along to be "supportive") were heavily involved in Amway when I was in high school and college. There were definite cult-like elements -- especially over-the-top and unwarranted deference to those in your upline. I remember being on the interstate driving back from some conference. It was late and we were all exhausted and just wanted to get home, but Dad refused to go the speed limit because some of his upline were ahead of us, and "it would be rude to pass them." Um, what? There was also a lot of "do exactly what we say and you'll be a millionaire one day" and even some brainwashing-type things, like requiring that you listen to recordings of their seminars daily and "dreambuilding" (i.e., driving around looking at fancy cars and houses to keep you focused on all the *stuff* you were going to buy someday). It was crazy. I was so relieved when they got out. I feel like our current church is on the verge of turning into a cult. There is a charismatic pastor and a core group of "cool kids" (they're all near our age, and it feels like high school all over again) who basically call the shots, and you have to do whatever they say, because Jesus. It's just creepy how the rest of the congregation interacts with these few leaders, hanging on their every word and almost salivating over the chance to serve their vision. This is a mainline denomination, but I have a feeling that the church will be leaving the denomination very soon. They are already distancing themselves. An interesting common thread in these two experiences is my dad. He is quite smart and a successful businessman, but he seems particularly susceptible to these kinds of "mild" cults. I think it's because he doesn't read people well, and also because he is a man of extremely high integrity (I call him the man with no vices). Since he would never intentionally manipulate or take advantage of someone, or try to use them to further his own agenda, I think he has a hard time recognizing when someone is doing so to him. There's giving somebody the benefit of the doubt, and then there's just being naive.

We have really waffled on this. Dd took two years of piano lessons and was not bad. Her teacher was very impressed with her progress and her potential. She never complained about it, although she wasn't into practicing and hardly ever played on her own at home. After the second year, she asked to stop. I was so disappointed. I played piano from elementary through college and also played clarinet. We considered requiring music lessons, because it's so good for brain development, but she was clearly not interested. In the months since, I've broached the subject several times with different ideas (homeschool band or orchestra? guitar? violin?), but she always just shrugs, "Not really." She has never really enjoyed songs, even as a little kid, and she can't carry a tune in a bucket. I think it's just not her thing. This year we're doing Harmony Fine Arts, and she has been surprisingly into listening to the classical music. So maybe there's hope. We will probably give ds a couple of years of piano lessons when he's a bit older. He tends to be more on the musical side, so I'm hoping he'll enjoy it more.

My ds4 has better fashion sense than my dd10. (Seriously, that boy has been able to put together a matching outfit since he was 2!) But dd couldn't care less. I only complain when I get sick and tired of seeing the same t-shirt for the third time this week (clean! but still...). There are a few situations where I insist on dressing a certain way. Impressing other 10yo's isn't one of them. If it bothers her, I'd have a discussion about either adjusting her attire to the appropriateness of the occasion or dressing however she chooses, with the understanding that not everyone will appreciate her choices. Either one is fine, in my book. But I'd want to help her think it through. I'd also add that making rude comments is a sign that the other person needs to learn some manners, NOT that something is wrong with dd. If it didn't bother her, it certainly wouldn't bother me.

Exactly this. As my dh (who has lost 100 lbs during the same time frame that I've lost 80) likes to say, "Everyone knows WHAT to do to lose weight. It's the DOING it that's the problem." Do I think that there are people out there with underlying heath conditions causing their morbid obesity? Of course. Was I one of those people? Nope. Not when I was 6. Not even when I was 26. I have the utmost compassion for anyone struggling with serious weight problems. I have been there. Some days I am still there -- I will always be "that person" deep down, even if I look skinny on the outside (and I would NOT call myself skinny today, by any stretch of the imagination!). Hello, my name is Peachy, and I'm a glutton. To use your analogy, we also wouldn't tell an alcoholic, "Hey, it's okay if you want to drink to extreme excess. It's just who you are -- nothing to be done about it." In the vast majority of cases, I think it is a disservice to send the message that losing weight is utterly beyond our control. I know that kind of enabling kept me trapped in my misery for YEARS. I had everyone (including myself) convinced that I was trying just as hard as I possibly could. But the truth is, I didn't want to do what I knew it was going to take. It was hard and uncomfortable and unfair. But hey, welcome to life.

Haven't had a chance to read all the replies, but I just want to encourage you. I have been overweight/obese since I was 6. Morbidly so, for much of that time. I know exactly where you are coming from. The desire to eat the things you're not *supposed* to have can be all-consuming. Over the past two years, I've lost 80 pounds. I could stand to lose a little more, but if I don't, I won't sweat it. I am healthier now than I've ever been. I can tell you a little about what worked for me. 1. I never, ever stop trying. I absolutely have bad days. There are still days when I think I will die if I don't have chocolate, or a cheeseburger, or pizza. The further I get down the road of my journey, the fewer and further between those days are. But they still come. And when they do, you know what? I eat chocolate. Or a cheeseburger. Or pizza. And then I get up the next morning and start over. Because this is my life, not a diet. It's the habits OVER TIME that make the difference. One "bad" meal isn't going to derail me. 2. I weigh myself every day. I know, you're not *supposed* to do that. But it makes a difference for me. It keeps me accountable. And it helps A LOT to be able to go back and see how far I've come. 3. I do not keep tempting foods in the house. If I want them, I have to go out and get them. And sometimes I do that. Yes, it means that the kids go without crackers and chips and cookies, because their mother can't control herself and will eat an entire box/bag if they are here. That's okay -- they get those things other places, and it doesn't hurt them to eat fruit and veggies either. They had to get over wanting that stuff, just like I did. (FTR, they overcame it much more easily than I did.) 4. EXERCISE. I don't mean going for a "walk." I mean hard-core, push-myself-to-the-limits exercise. Don't think I'm some kind of athlete, because I'm not. I am the kid that cried in bed on gym class mornings. Who came in last on purpose during the required mile run because it was easier than trying and coming in last anyway. Until two years ago, I'd never done any real strenuous exercise in my life. Now I lift weights. I work with a trainer who makes me do push-ups and pull-ups and box jumps until I want to die. I RUN. Can I keep up with the *fit* people at the gym? Heck no. But I push myself FOR myself. I get better every day. And the really hard physical exercise makes a HUGE difference in the cravings. (I can't overemphasize this. Pushing yourself physically looks different from person to person. It looks different for me today than it did a year ago. But the important part, for me, was to actually push. The "something is better than nothing" approach did nothing for my cravings, energy level, or fitness. I had to get out of my comfort zone and actually try something that was hard. And keep trying until it wasn't hard anymore. And then find something else to try.) 5. Most importantly, I discovered that my problem with food is not just physical or mental -- it is primarily spiritual. I don't want to elaborate on this publicly, but my faith has played an integral role in my weight loss. I'd be happy to discuss that via private message if it's something you (or anyone) are interested in. For years I thought this battle was hopeless. It's not. It's just a matter of finding what works for you and not giving up. Hang in there. :grouphug:

You guys have some awesome first days! My kids don't care about the pics, of course. ;) I usually take them, although I didn't today. Probably will do them next week when ds goes back to preschool. We didn't have a *special* first day back, but we did have to run into town after lunch, and we waved at all the kids stuck in the school as we drove by and got a piece of bubblegum from the machine at the car wash. This weekend dd had seemed bummed about getting back to work, but once things were rolling this morning, she seemed to enjoy it. She said today was a good day. This is my laid-back kid who doesn't get worked up about much of anything, good or bad. I promised dd a trip to a nearby old-fashioned candy store once ds was in preschool so maybe we will try to get that in next week. As for my freedom, I'll get over it. I do love the time I get with them, and all the fun we have learning together. But the idea of a whole quiet morning to myself... I'm sure I'd be bored three days in!

My dd10 would. I actually think this would be a good exercise for her. She has always been a good writer and is able to organize her thoughts easily. I don't see the harm in letting them try. You can always facilitate a discussion with them about the pros/cons and then let them write a paragraph: "I would/would not build the dam because..." with two or three reasons. Or even just do the whole exercise orally.

...make me a little sad. I was always SO EXCITED on the first day of school! Those are special memories for me, and I feel like I'm depriving my kids of that experience. They aren't resistant to starting back up, but they aren't exactly excited either. I know how quickly the "new" wears off, but still... (Plus, I admit to being a teeny tiny bit jealous of those public school SAHMs who are rejoicing in their freedom. :leaving: ) Ah, the joys of the constantly conflicting emotions that are this thing called homeschooling.

Following along with interest. We will find ourselves in this boat pretty soon as well. DD will finish CLE 600 by next summer/early fall -- but she will only be going into the 6th grade (newly 11). My tentative plan is to make the leap to Saxon 8/7 at that point, but I'm very unsure. I appreciate the information you've shared here. When you say you plan to evaluate your son heavily before starting him in Algebra 1, what exactly will you look for? I also am concerned about letting my dd go too far too fast for her brain development, even though she's showing no signs of having any trouble understanding the math at this point (at the current rate she'll be ready for Algebra 1 in 7th). I considered doing Saxon 8/7 in 6th and following with Algebra 1/2 in 7th, but some people think that's overkill. And that still only gets us to Alg 1 in 8th. I'm just not sure how to tell whether she's "ready." I have my doubts about Saxon being a great fit (she loves CLE) but even though I studied higher-level math in high school/college, math is my biggest weakness and I need something very straightforward. We will probably be looking to outsource after Alg 1.

Well, I'm no expert. :coolgleamA: But last year we only did math four days a week, and dd is none the worse for it. She picks up the concepts very easily, so I guess I would say it depends on how much practice your child needs. FWIW, we are going back to five days for math this year, at least most weeks. Our regular curriculum only takes her four days, but I'm supplementing with some advanced problem-solving material. If you don't want to do formal math every day, could you incorporate some fun games, let your child help you with cooking, or give him/her a few living math books to peruse on the fifth day instead? I do commend you for devoting time to the fine arts. We have struggled in that area (not dd's favorite) and we are making more of an effort this year as well.

I, personally, would not want my child reading it (although at 16, I'd be more inclined to let her decide for herself and read/discuss it with her if she chose to). Not only is the theme difficult, the theology is extremely suspect, IMO. Since she is going through such a hard time and asked your advice, however, I'd probably encourage her to put it away. At least for now. She will find better comfort in God's Word than in there. Hugs to you and your dd. I hope she finds the hope and connection she is seeking. :grouphug: