Boo! Hiss! I am angry on your behalf. Two and half pounds is A LOT of tacos! Sounds like something that would happen at my house. Although, actually, I wound up not eating tonight because by the time I'd cooked dinner, I didn't want it!

Yeah, that seems to be a very "boy" kind of thing. Even my ds is that way, and he's only 5. He doesn't want to take any time listening to me explain it -- let's just get right to the part where I DO something. That's not dd's thing. Hers is more grass-is-greener syndrome: "Meh, I saw how it works and turns out I'm not that interested after all." Still toying with the idea of requiring some extra-curriculars. Heading into middle school seems like a good time for it. I'm thinking perhaps some type of physical activity (doesn't have to be competitive, but something where she can set continuously increasing goals for herself) and some type of "skill" (musical instrument, handcraft, etc.) that we stick with until high school. Goal-setting, maybe that's more what I'm looking for? Re: the gifted/perfectionism thing: I totally get that. I was a gifted kid, and an absolute perfectionist. I really don't think that's what's going on here. Neither does dh; we've discussed it at length before. She's just a free-spirit type. It's true that, academically, she's found most things to come pretty easily. It's one of the reasons we pulled her out of ps to homeschool. But I really try to push her academically, and she's always up to the challenge. SELF-motivation, though -- that doesn't come naturally to her.

Actually, this sounds like the type of career that would be right up her alley! Hope springs eternal!! See, I have waffled on this for a couple of years now. She was actually a decent pianist. I thought she enjoyed it. She never complained about lessons or anything. And then one day it was like, please can I stop? I don't like it anymore. So we took a break for summer, but at the end she still didn't want to go back. I have nudged off and on, hoping she would want to pick it up again (or another instrument, we have a homeschool orchestra nearby), because I know all the benefits of learning music. But she has absolutely ZERO interest in any kind of music at all. She hasn't sat down at the piano once since she quit. And we have been torn on whether or not to require that she study an instrument, because I do think it's beneficial, but I would love for it not to be drudgery. But maybe drudgery isn't the worst thing? Yep, this. I know this was a factor for me. And while my response was usually anger and frustration, hers is more disengagement. If it's not easy, she wants to give up and move on. Obviously that's not an option in her schoolwork, and I do make a concerted effort to keep her challenged, but it's one reason why I wonder if I shouldn't require her to choose one hobby/skill and study it/practice it for awhile. The question is, how to structure that so it's effective?

Yes, I know what you mean. In our case, it's not so much that she stops putting in effort, exactly. Not when she's in something formal, at least. When she's on a kick about, say, writing a book on lions, then yeah -- that might go by the wayside after only a few days. I don't worry about those self-initiated projects. But when she took piano lessons, she learned every piece, often from memory. She was quite good. Her teacher was extremely disappointed when she quit at the end of the year. When she's played on teams, she works hard for her team (even if she's not much of an athlete). Mostly this is because she's a people-pleaser and likes for her teachers and coaches to be happy with her. It's more like, once she's been through a season, that's enough. And I'm okay with that -- she doesn't have to like everything! I just wish she'd find *something* that she enjoyed enough to keep doing it.

Okay, that makes me feel better. I've always had a fairly intense, type-A personality, even as a kid. So her approach to life is very different from mine. And she's not competitive AT ALL, so she really doesn't care if she's the best at anything. Although she's quite bright, so she's used to most things coming easily (well, except sports!). In many ways, I'm SO glad she's not like me! I was under such heavy, self-imposed pressure all the time. I was afraid to try anything if I couldn't be the best at it right away. She's not afraid of giving anything a shot. It's just that nothing has stuck -- yet!

DD (11 this month) has always had a huge range of interests -- whatever she's into can change from week to week, or even day to day. I love the fact that she is enthusiastic about learning lots of things, but as she gets older, I would like to help her find something she cares enough about to learn it past a superficial level. She is a big-picture person who gets bored and frustrated when asked to work on something with any level of detail, and she would rather skim over lots of topics than learn any one thing really well. For example: She has wanted to learn graphic design for awhile. I use Photoshop and Illustrator in my freelance work, so she has access to those. I helped her find some video tutorials, and she spent a day or two watching them and playing around on the computer. She seemed to have fun, and her designs weren't bad. A few days later, I came across a local art studio that is offering a summer camp focusing on graphic design. I couldn't wait to tell her! It was pretty expensive, but I was already brainstorming ideas for coming up with the money, because I just knew she'd love it. Her response: Meh, I already know how to use Illustrator. {{sigh}} She's like this with everything. Piano. Pottery. Chess. Sports. A minimal amount of exposure, and she already "knows" what she needs to know about it, so time to move on. I don't want to turn learning into a chore, but I'd really like for her to experience the joy of pursuing a hobby for awhile and becoming good at it, finding new levels of challenge by going deeper. Any ideas?

Only You, with Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr. The next date was future-dh's pick: Above the Rim. Obviously, we had very different tastes! :D

I am really sorry for your loss. A lot of what you say here corresponds to my experience as well. And really, that's all any of us has to go on -- and experiences vary SO widely. I think that being naturally highly active seems to be both a cause AND an effect of thinness. While I have much more energy now than I did at 100 lbs overweight, I am still very much NOT a naturally active person. Never have been and probably never will be. Despite the fact that I work out an hour day, most days of the week, during the times that I'm not working out, I'm not the kind of person who just NEEDS to get up and move around. By contrast, my mother very much is that kind of person, and she has also never struggled with her weight.

No one suggested that. I believe her point was that hundreds of thousands of people experienced drastic weight loss due to wartime conditions, and yet, in general at least, their metabolisms were not so warped by that experience that they uncontrollably gained weight afterwards. I would respond to that by saying that the difference is that very few (if any) of the victims of Nazi concentration camps were morbidly obese pre-camp, whereas all of the participants in this study were. In that sense, we're comparing apples and oranges, so it's not the most helpful comparison. I seriously doubt there exist any studies on the resting metabolisms of concentration camp victims pre- and post-camp. Regardless, it's also not helpful in the course of these discussions when people start carrying on about having to treat themselves like concentration camp victims to lose weight. No one is suggesting that anyone -- fat or thin -- should live that way. Speaking as someone who has been morbidly obese and lost significant weight, I know what it is like to "feel hungry" and still choose not to eat AT THAT MOMENT. It is NOT easy. But I also know that cravings do not always equal hunger, either. It can be very difficult to tell the difference between the two, but choosing to forego my cravings (or even my hunger) for a few hours at most is NOWHERE NEAR treating myself like a concentration camp victim.

I wondered this too. Did the rapidity and extreme nature of their weight loss affect the reduction in their metabolisms at all? It looks as though every one of them burns hundreds fewer calories per day than would be expected for a person their size. I hope that perhaps their response is more pronounced than one would expect after a long-term, more moderate approach. Otherwise, this is seriously depressing.

Agreeing with the closet thing. Although I know that here that's not a legal requirement. Still what most people expect, though. I think you'll have a hard time convincing buyers that it's a bedroom without one, but you should definitely talk to a Realtor. We looked at a house not long ago that billed itself as three bedrooms, but one of those rooms was in the center of the house. It had a door and small closet but no windows. Apparently there's nothing in the law here that keeps a homeowner from calling that a bedroom, but it was a deal-breaker for us. Which kid do we stick in the dungeon? And I had horrible images of there being a fire or something and no way for that child to escape their bedroom. {shudder} Too bad, because the master suite that had been added on was to die for...

Your boss is an idiot. I've worked for them too. I know what you're going through. Just remember that everything always looks twice as bad when you're not feeling well. Try not to dwell on it too much right now. When you're well again, you can get back to looking for a better situation. Hugs and prayers for you.

I agree that R&S has plenty of writing on its own. But I found much of it is pretty dry, so we dropped the composition exercises from R&S and used WWE/WWS for explicit writing instruction. Looking back, I think we probably could have just used R&S exclusively through 4th or 5th grade, then moved into WWS. I didn't love the whole narration/dictation thing for writing in elementary, but the explicit instruction in WWS has been FANTASTIC for dd. If you wanted to add something to complement R&S, you could look at Kilgallon. The focus there is more on style than structure.

Exactly what I was thinking! Except maybe on a mountain instead. Deserted islands have too many bugs. Actually, I don't care so much about the locale, so long as there are no PEOPLE. I'm over living with people!

My grandmother wanted to do something nice and surprised me with a dress. It was horrible but I couldn't make myself hurt her feelings. So I went to my junior prom in a hunter-green monstrosity with a full skirt, short sleeves, and a sash. It was 1996. I couldn't have looked more out of place. Senior year I had a floor-length, glittery, navy blue gown that was so in style the first girl I saw when I walked in was wearing it. Prom: 2, Peachy: 0

Yes, or something like that. Maybe only one other vendor at a time. So, like, a Mary Kay party with facials and whatnot, accompanied by wine tasting. I'm sure she will have wines available for sale.

I really like all these ideas! But now she says she is thinking she'll keep her business strictly to wine tastings and partner with other companies to offer different add-ons (e.g. Mary Kay, massages, etc.). She already has a partnership with a coloring book publisher; that's where the coloring idea came from. But this will give her more options and more marketing outlets. So the name should focus on the wine/liquor aspect. She's thinking about Wandering Spirits. Any thoughts?

Not going to court, although at this point if I thought I could stick it to them, I probably would, tbh. It's a straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back scenario -- there have been SO MANY other things as well. But this has been stressful enough on my dad, and I think he would keel over if I tried to take it to court, more from the embarrassment of having the family drama play out in public than anything. And besides, our house would probably be finished before we could resolve it anyway. We do have the gate in our back pocket, though. It's not the route I want to take, but I will if I have to. He stayed out of the yard yesterday, and it's raining today (so no work). Hopefully he's gotten the message. Which just means we'll move on to some other equally obnoxious behavior in a few days or weeks... I can't get out of here fast enough.

It's actually not a parking issue, although we are rural, so parking on the street isn't really an option. The problem is that he has suddenly decided not to use his own driveway for leaving and entering his property. Instead, he drives through our yard and out our driveway. And he's apparently told his employees and subcontractors to do the same thing. He has a landscaping company based from his home that uses a ton of trucks/trailers/heavy machinery, so these things are going through our yard and drive all day every day. (He works seven days a week.) I can no longer send my 5-year-old outside to play on his own because I never know when a dump truck or dually with a 20' trailer will come roaring across our property. Because of the layout of our lot, the only real place to play is in the front. {Vent coming...} He, like his mother who is one of the landlords (the other is my dad -- they are brother and sister), is a narcissist who manipulates with the best of them and thinks the whole world revolves around him. He is 35 years old and has lived with his parents his entire life. He married last year and moved his new wife in with his parents, who added a bonus room over their garage to expand the second floor for them (we call it the honeymoon suite behind their backs). Now they are expecting a baby. So yes, he's anxious to get his almost-free house. And yes, we have been here longer than we'd hoped to be. A lot of things happened that we weren't prepared for (dh getting laid off twice, ds in the NICU racking up huge medical bills, the land we were supposed to build on failing to obtain approval from the county, lack of affordable lots/homes for sale in the area we need to buy in). BUT, there was never a time frame put on our living here. We moved here because it was a good situation for us, but ALSO because this house was sitting empty after my grandmother died and someone needed to keep it up. No one wanted to sell it outside the family (I know now that this wasn't sentimentality on the part of my aunt next door, but her holding it open for her son in the future). We were the ONLY members of the family willing to take it on. In fact, it was offered to him first, and he refused it because he didn't want to pay the paltry rent. He preferred living with Mommy and Daddy scot-free. Now that his situation has changed, and he does want the house, he is ticked that he's having to wait. But we are building, and our new house won't be ready for some months, probably after the first of next year. We are having to borrow a not-insubstantial amount of money from my parents even to make that happen, but my dad has offered it just to shut his stupid sister up. /vent

One of my closest friends has connections to a winery and has decided to start a new business offering private wine tastings/art projects -- similar to those "paint-and-pour" places, but hers will feature adult coloring books and be hosted in individual homes. She's looking for a catchy name, and I promised her the Hive never disappoints. Give me your best! :lurk5:

Are you psychic? LOL Third party DEFINITELY wants this house. Everybody knows it. He will buy it after we leave. It's a done deal. My priority is making sure my side of the family gets what's coming to us. Third party will undoubtedly receive his side's share free and clear. Not much I can do about that. Eight years is way beyond long enough. Believe me. As I said, we are moving ASAP, but everyone has to endure for a few more months. There's just no way around it. That said, the driveway and yard have been unencumbered so far today. We'll see if this lasts.

It's worth more than mine, I can tell you that much. :) Hooray!!

Would love to see what you come up with for your co-op when you've finished!

We used to play the board game Cashflow a lot. It was great for learning about risk taking and investment strategy. (If you are a strict no-debt person, it might not be for you.) Hmm... need to see if my mom and dad still have it somewhere. It would be great for dd. I would guess 10 and up could play with some assistance, maybe even slightly younger. I think there is a junior version as well. Games like Monopoly are great for this also. I know that Dave Ramsay and Robert Kiyosaki both have financial literacy programs for kids/teens. I have looked at both of them, but I don't have experience with either directly. We are waiting until dd is a bit older to begin something formal. I also really want to work this in somewhere: http://www.stockmarketgame.org/. Looks like a lot of fun!