Can someone tell me a little about the F=MA exam? Is if something that a high school administers? Or do students seek it out on their own? My kids are in high school but my son has never mentioned it. I could always encourage him to ask his AP Physics teacher, but it would probably take him a few days to work up the courage so I figured I would start here where there are so many knowledgable people! Thank you!

Second this. My husband gave me the APO address and I attempted to mail a package a month to him while he was deployed. Attempted but never succeeded!

I agree the prices are crazy, new house starts are low, and investment companies buying up properties as rentals need regulation. But I do have to question the author of the article when they want to literally ban the entire rental market. That's insane. Could you imagine what that would do to military families? To young people just starting out? There is a huge need to have a rental market. One that is regulated better maybe, but banning all for profit real estate investment? Not very well thought out at all. I say this as a family that has owned three rentals at one time and rented almost exclusively to other military. But I don't want to pick one point out to argue against when the whole of the issue of high prices is definitely a problem. So crazy that we went from the subprime crisis, with houses prices skyrocketing and balloon mortgages and 100 percent financing being the issue, and now we have cash purchases and 20 percent down payments being low!

That's what I was thinking. I think his teacher was approaching it based on how much my son really engaged with her class -- it was a surprise to him and to us how quickly he took to lit analysis -- but he is also a very slow reader and has so far only done one on demand essay. It seems like Lang would be a gentler on-slope. I have no idea what they will use here in SD as far as book list, but definitely waiting on the really tough subjects would help. It's been a slog trying to get this kid to handle anything intense, sad, etc. Really the biggest impact is the teacher at this point. His English teacher this year was a god-send. Mentors the Neurodivergent club, did mental health checks every week individually with the students, communicated with me about my son's anxiety, and brain-stormed ways to work through it with him.... she was amazing. We'll see what happens next year.

Thanks everyone. My impression was that the Lit exam would be harder overall, and Lang has been traditionally an 11th grade class... so I think my kids are opting to stick with Lang first. The school opened it up for the first time this year, and my son's teacher thought my son would enjoy Lit more. But he is more attuned to the fact that when asked, after hearing about the two different offerings, almost the entire class said they were still going to take Lang first. His biggest focus is making friends, and he wants to be with other 11th graders. He probably would enjoy Lit a lot more, but he's planning on taking both, and not planning on graduating early, so it's not a huge difference either way.

We just went on a five day trip and paid a dog sitter to come to our house to watch our two puppies. We paid her over 500 dollars. You could be making mad money! (These are California rates of course, but still)

My kids are 10th graders in B & M school. Their English teacher says that the school is allowing kids to choose which to take first -- and she was suggesting my son might prefer Lit first. She suggested also that AP Lang was more aligned with a freshman composition class in college, so that Lit might be a better choice to have first. Any opinions? Anyone done it in this order?

We have a lot of kids absent, and the health office is struggling to keep up. But they are trying -- they have sent home covid tests and asked positive covid students and quarantined students to test before coming back. The teachers are all making the work available and working out how to give final exams to those students at home. One of the teachers even zooms every day from the class for the students at home, even though she isn't obligated to do so.

That makes me so happy to hear. ❤️ So glad you had someone you could trust!

I did speak against socially transitioning - I do not mean it as an either/or, though- I do not think it should never be done. I think that the current feeling is that it is something very easy to do when just exploring - like trying new hair colors or changing the way you dress to reflect your new interests. I feel it is a more weighty intervention and it just needs to be understood as such. Not that it shouldn’t happen, just that it should be rarer than it is currently being promoted, as if it is consequence free. Personally I am against younger kids socially transitioning. And with caution and oversight for older kids. For us, our developmental pediatrician suggested social transition after one meeting with us, having very little experience with gender dysphoria. My son’s therapist suggested it to us with more time spent with my son, but still probably around 1 hour a week, twice a month, over zoom, for a few months. My son loves school, is making friends, has multiple clubs, sleeps and eats well, hangs out with us all day long joking and laughing. We have worked tirelessly to get to this point - and understand how much a cross country move during a pandemic, virtual high school after homeschooling six years, and integrating into a 2400 person high school has affected him. The idea that socially transitioning would fix his problems, when it was apparent to us the biggest problems were academic pressure (placed by us), loneliness, and anxiety from constant change (ASD) was short sighted and speaks to the issue of therapists (and pediatricians) with little gender dysphoria experience trying to treat patients. She didn’t seem to have a lot of familiarity with ASD either. It was mostly our fault, and the fault of a dearth of qualified mental health therapists.

It’s frustrating that it has become such a political issue, and it’s frustrating to see it play out across a health system that is so fragmented and profit driven. For me personally, I would prefer not having interventions available to teens over what I see happening now - opportunistic doctors and fearful or disinterested therapists who affirm anyone that walks in their door. If the interventions were rare and initiated with proper safeguarding and oversight, then I personally (and what is my opinion worth really) wouldn’t feel as strongly about medicalizing minors.

Especially now there is an increasing amount of detransitioners who were harmed by affirmation only, and they are experiencing more severe dysphoria with their medicalized body not matching their original gender that they have re- aligned with. it goes back to your earlier point about the circularity of the diagnosis. Gender is an identity that should be affirmed, but it must be medicalized, it’s not a disorder but it requires intervention, however when the intervention is wrong…. Crickets.

I have to agree with this. I understand there are times when we are searching for our identity, especially in the teenage years. But focusing your identity in your sexuality or gender seems so limiting. I mean, I have a very low sex drive -- am I asexual? I can feel attracted to women -- am I bisexual? I despise typical representations of women in media and prefer to dress in very nondescript easy to match clothes so I don't need to think about them at all. Am I non-binary? All of these things are true and have fluctuated more or less over time at different points in my life. How much of our roles (boxes) are based in stereotypes? At the end of the day I myself am just a meat sack walking around, interacting with strangers or friends, trying to be a good person and a calm and steady presence in my family's life.

I think having curiosity as to what is driving a new phenomenon, and trying to understand it through discourse is something to be encouraged, even when someone isn't quite up to par with the present terminology. Honoring someone's expression of identity is not incompatible with skepticism about the premise of gender identity.

Since irl I don’t know anyone (other than my son) who is gender questioning, I listen to a lot of podcasts and read whatever I can get my hands on. i know of two good podcasts - Transparency (by the Gender Dysphoria Alliance and hosted by two trans men, Aaron Kimberly and Aaron Terrell) and the Heterodorx Podcast by Nina Paley and trans woman Corinna Cohn. Gender: A Wider Lens is my favorite one to dive into, with two gender exploratory therapists co-hosting. They are starting a “Pioneer Series” now where they interview established researchers in the field to talk about their areas of special interest.

It got asked upthread as a question so people answered it. The fact that it is something that is discussed, that has complexity, therefore means there actually IS nuance to attempt to understand. But that kind of reflexive self righteous morality is why having nuanced discussions devolves so quickly into vitriol and accusations of transphobia.

DP

Maybe it is different in the Midwest, where it sounds like it is a much more conservative area and you would need those subtle signs. Just like when I lived in a much more red area it was so rare to meet someone who was also none religious, as the majority were not only Christian but evangelical. It was very isolating. Here pronouns in a bio just feels very performative and virtue signaling.

20 states have conversion therapy bills. Canada just passed a conversion therapy bill as well. I would be absolutely against a bill that makes affirmation only illegal as well. That is ridiculous. I am just frustrated that now talk therapy is labeled as conversion therapy. People are more complex, their needs are more complex.

It is illegal here in California. Here are the policies informing my son's therapist when I pressed her on her approach with my son regarding his gender questioning: https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/Conversion-Therapy-Jan-2018.pdf https://www.apadivisions.org/division-44/resources/conversion-fact-sheet.pdf From the APA document: “Conversion therapy” describes any attempt to change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity or expression, or any component of these. It is sometimes called reparative therapy, reorientation therapy, sexual orientation change efforts, or gender identity change efforts. Proponents have rebranded the practice and adapted their claims about it over time in response to sustained critiques. Same-gender or -sex attraction, gender non-conformity, and identifying as a sexual or gender minority (e.g., being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, another sexual or gender minority; LGBTQ+) are not illnesses and do not need treatment. These practices are not “therapy.” From the Williams Institute document: Conversion therapy has been practiced in the U.S. for over a century. Academic literature has documented instances of conversion therapy being used as early as the 1890s and continuing through the present day.10 Throughout the history of conversion therapy, a range of techniques have been used by both health care professionals and religious figures seeking to change people’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Currently, talk therapy is the most commonly used therapy technique. 11 Some practitioners have also used “aversion treatments, such as inducing nausea, vomiting, or paralysis; providing electric shocks; or having the individual snap an elastic band around the wrist when the individual became aroused to same-sex erotic images or thoughts.”12 Other practitioners have used non-aversive techniques such as attempting to “change 2 CONVERSION THERAPY AND LGBT YOUTH thought patterns by reframing desires, redirecting thoughts, or using hypnosis." When we talked with the therapist over zoom, she reiterated that by law she was not allowed to question my son's statement that he was trans, but could only work with him on alleviating the distress around that identity. It is distressing to me to see laws that lump together sexual orientation with gender. Sexual orientation does not change any essential aspect of a person and requires no long term medicalization and sterilization. This law handcuffs therapists and provides one route -- immediate medicalization without exploration of possible past trauma or comorbid Autism, OCD, ADHD, etc. All which can play some sort of role in trans identification. Here is a letter written by a gender exploratory therapist in Oregon, who is attempting to walk the very fine line between affirmation and "conversion" therapy without losing her license. https://stephaniewinn.substack.com/p/my-letter-to-the-oregon-board-of From her letter: "I do not practice conversion therapy according to any definition. I have worked with many gender questioning and trans and nonbinary identified individual adolescents and adults. I was trained in and practiced the “affirmative” model, though I grew increasingly concerned about it as time went on. It has not been my experience that mental health has improved following transition in the people I have worked with. Many of them found their distress only worsened, but I felt my hands were tied and I could not explore how they felt about their trans identity and body. [Information from letter redacted as it pertains to a clinical case.]

Having pronouns is problematic to me as it signals belief in gender ideology (nothing about gay/lesbian allyship- those should really not be conflated) and smacks of tribalism (in/out groups). It is a political statement, and is divisive IMO. I mean, just reading the statement that pronouns or lack thereof can signal bigotry or not is frightening to me. Like, if I don’t have a pride flag out during pride month I am also a bigot? Or if I don’t stand during the pledge I am not patriotic?

There's a good episode about social transition by Gender: A Wider Lens, where they talk about the nuances involved in both social transition with younger, prepubertal children and older teens. https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/40-social-transition-a-powerful-psychosocial-intervention Also of importance in dealing with young children is the concept of sex constancy - which is theorized not to be fully formed until around age 7 or 8. The idea is that there are age windows where children learn that biological sex does not change, say, if a person were to put on a dress or to do an activity associated with the opposite sex. I think that is the biggest worry with early social transition -- already a young child is predisposed to believe that sex is more mutable than it really is. Puberty will provide a huge reckoning, at a pretty severe emotional cost. https://www.verywellmind.com/an-overview-of-gender-constancy-4688620 I find it concerning that in the past, trying on new identities (punk, goth, emo, etc) have become trying on new sexualities and gender. Maybe in general it is harmless. But the fact that there is such a huge overlap in trans-identifying teens with autistic teens (or teens with autistic traits) drives my concern. That and the fact that identifying as emo or goth does not require lifelong medicalization, whereas now even gender nullification surgery is being promoted, and micro-dosing hormones.

Do you really think she doesn't have the data to back her up? She has literally been working in this field for 30 years, she was the president of USPATH and on the board of directors of WPATH. Here is the article she and Dr. Laura Edwards-Leeper cowrote about the problems of the current state of mental health care in the US care https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2021/11/24/trans-kids-therapy-psychologist/ Here is the interview that talks about her decision to step down from these organizations https://quillette.com/2022/01/06/a-transgender-pioneer-explains-why-she-stepped-down-from-uspath-and-wpath/ Her psychology practice is based on primarily gender and sexuality issues. She is seeing more and more issues with affirmation only, and is trying to voice her concerns.

There are a few studies done on Social Transition -- (from the page https://www.statsforgender.org/social-transition/ **Social transition – changing names, pronouns, clothing and bathroom use – correlates with the persistence of transgender identity. Pediatric transition doctors in the Netherlands who first pioneered the use of puberty blockers in dysphoric children observe that social transition correlates with an increase in young people’s persistence when it comes to gender identity [1]. This led them to caution against social transition before puberty. Another paper [2] notes that gender dysphoria is more persistent into adolescence where social transition has occurred, and as such asserts that social transition is a “psychosocial intervention [which] might be characterized as iatrogenic” – a medical problem caused by the treatment itself. There is evidence [3] that social transition by the child was found to be strongly correlated with persistence for natal boys, more so than for girls. REFERENCES [1] de Vries, A. L., & Cohen-Kettenis, P. T. (2012). Clinical management of gender dysphoria in children and adolescents: The Dutch approach. Journal of Homosexuality 59 (3): 301–320. [Link] [2] Zucker, K. J. (2019). Debate: Different strokes for different folks. Child and Adolescent Mental Health 25(1): 36-37. [Link] [3] Steensma, T.D., McGuire, J.K., Kreukels, B.P., Beekman, A.J. & Cohen-Kettenis, P.T. (2013). Factors associated with desistence and persistence of childhood gender dysphoria: a quantitative follow-up study. J Am Acad Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 52 (6): 582-90. [Link]** It should be understood that it is a powerful psychosocial intervention. Currently it is very much the first course of action -- especially in states like mine which allow affirmation only therapy. So change names, change pronouns, school (with or without parents' knowledge) changes kids identity. I don't believe this is an either/or issue -- either it should be widespread allowed or it should never be used. I do believe that it can be very problematic if there is a child who is gender non conforming from a young age, who aligns with the opposite sex, who has a 66-94 percent chance (or thereabouts -- depending on which study you are looking at) of growing up gay, but who has been transitioned at a young age and lived as the opposite sex. That is a huge psychological interference from an early age. If they are a teen who socially transitions, coming back if they desist can be extremely traumatic, however they are at least in the actual identity questioning stage of their lives. Regarding puberty blockers and cross sex hormones, some of the countries who led the way in the studies and use of them are now ending them for minors due to low risk/benefit ratio as compared to mental health support. https://segm.org/Sweden_ends_use_of_Dutch_protocol