If a pregnant woman gets hurt in a non-public restroom and her fetus is also hurt as a consequence, those shop owners stand to lose FAR more than a couple thousand dollars. Even if the "injury" is something like inhaling cleaning chemicals that affect the fetus. It stinks, but who can blame them for being unwilling to take that risk?

LOL! I used to get completely furious with DH for putting the empty milk jug in the paper recycling box instead of the plastic/cans bag. Fortunately our town has switched to all-in-one containers. What I wonder is how to stop myself from ramping up in the first place, or at least make myself realize what's really going on. But if I could do that I'd have to be rational, wouldn't I? I understand, Tiramisu. Let's hope we both get through these times without causing too much destruction! :smash:

Unfortunately, DS is stuck in public school - and not a good one. I try to find ways to "beef things up" for him, and I keep watch for summer opportunities & such. There may be more open to him now than there was a few years ago, but I have never even been able to find a robotics club or First Lego League. I guess, in a nutshell, I was looking for ways to offer guidance in an area that is completely foreign to me. [ETA: The book recommendations and general comments in this thread will help, I'm sure.] I ended up in English/philosophy and have been a legal secretary for a couple decades. My interest in math and science has grown, but I will never be at a point where I can really show him the way - much like no one in my family could ease my path because none of them had been away to college. I seem to be lamenting my own limitations now. That might be what's at the heart of this whole thread: feeling bad that I can't do much more for him than was done for me, despite what I know now and how much better off financially I am compared to my parents.

My stated philosophy is "we do not harm living things unless we have to."

Thank you all for entertaining the discussion. I guess what I'm left with is that the field is so vast and varied that no predictions can be made with any confidence. In the end, he'll just follow his gut and deal with the curve balls like anybody else, but preparation-wise, I really can't "steer" beyond the standard college admission basics, and general encouragement to "aim high."

So happy to read these positive developments, Halcyon! :hurray:

Good point, Debbie. Sigh. I wish I had a practice kid. ;)

You've hit on a couple of DS's weaknesses here, but I am hopeful that those characteristics can be overcome (or at least tamed) with time, specific skill training, and maturity. Out of curiosity, do have a sense of what would be a good fit for your "flighty" son?

Wow, Quark, your whole post was indeed very helpful! Thanks so much for taking the time. I had not heard of Paperboy and will definitely pick up a copy. If you (or anyone) can think of any other suggestions, I'm all ears. I so appreciate your input. Thanks again.

Of course, you're both right (and making me feel better!). I swear, things that are completely obvious are flying right out of my brain these days. :willy_nilly:

Ha! I meant to address this in my OP, but it slipped my mind. I do realize that the person he will be in five years may be completely different from who he is now. My thinking, though, is to prepare him educationally for the most stringent possibility, so he doesn't face any closed doors inadvertently. If he stops taking math as a sophomore because he thinks he wants to be, say, a novelist, then decides as a senior that engineering is the real deal for him, well, he'd be in quite a jam! Even that hurdle would not be insurmountable, but it is certainly more efficient to keep the train rolling straight through. Conversely, if he prepares now with an eye toward engineering, then decides to be a novelist, he loses nothing.

Excellent idea. Continued good thoughts sent your way, Rose.

In this thread from 2011 (http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/259340-about-50-stem-majors-drop-outone-page-article-wlinks/?hl=+50% +stem +drop +out) on the College Board, I read this portion of one of your posts: Eek! I'm afraid I may be guilty as charged, as much I'd like to think otherwise. I'd love to know what you and our engineering boardies would describe as "engineering material." What traits or talents make the strongest engineers? And do these traits vary by field? The general category of "engineering" is so vast, and I don't know any engineers IRL, so I have been trying to tease out information here and there to test the fit for my DS12.

I agree with others as far as mentally noting errors to review during school time. As for the plot stuff, at first I would offer only some cooing, but if the child has written lots of stories, then I might start asking questions like "how did you come up with X" or "can you explain the connection between event A and event B" - gentle conversational tidbits that might get the wheels turning. If that seems to be effective, then I might step up to "that's great! Would you like to talk about possibilities for improvement?" - because I also agree with jenn- who suggested that trustworthy criticism is more valuable than faint or false praise.

This is how I see it going in our family, too, although Erin sounds a bit more strict than I am (hard to believe, because I'm so mean!). My goals in this area are (1) work ethic and (2) financial management. For the most part, DS can spend his money his way, unless he has to pay me to replace something he broke or lost or whatever. He is old enough now (12) that he is asked to contribute at least some of his own money for gifts for others. He can also earn extra money for special jobs. I imagine the amount he earns will increase as he moves into/through high school, but he'll be expected to get a job, too, and pay his own car insurance/gas, buy his own personal items and pay his own way if he wants to grab a burger with friends. I'm not sure how much I will increase his chore list here - I guess it will depend on whether/how much he is working, and how he spends his free time.

Good point! One would think I should have thought of it myself. :P

Regentrude, you are absolutely correct. Working in the gaps worked very well for me; I'm not sure if DS will get on board. He is incredibly outgoing, and I see him maximizing the between-class opportunities for chit-chat and laughs, and waiting until he's home to do the work. He will start 7th grade in a few weeks - it'll be his first exposure to mutliple teachers and changing classrooms, except for the art/music/gym parts of elementary school. I'll be watching closely to see how he navigates time management.

Great successes! I have been working on AOPS Pre-A with DS this summer - only one day a week, only one section. We won't even get to the end of chapter 1 before school starts. But you know what? I am meeting my ultimate goal, which was to expand his capacity for patience, his tolerance for things he can't do immediately, and his willingness to spend time tackling hard things. What began with almost immediate tears of frustration is now met with, well, not exactly gusto, but with a "can do" attitude and a willingness to put forth effort!

I'm kind of amused that the people answering, for the most part, are not the people who are "finished by lunch and that's it for school" but rather the people who do, in fact, give enough work (or otherwise maintain a pretty full schedule) so that "outside of school hours" time is required, and thus their DC learn time management and all the associated skills. :) So, yes, I suppose I too would figure out how full to fill his plate to make sure he gets that practice. This board is the best. :)

Gadget, you describe my own situation and exactly what I hoped to avoid with DS. I do what I can with "before-schooling" and a bit of summer work, but there's only so much I can do, you know? I understand your point about scheduling. When I said "evening/weekend," I just meant "outside of normal school hours," whatever those might be. Thanks for chiming in.

... how did they handle the transition to the college/university system, where evening/weekend homework is unavoidable? I have tried searching the board, but haven't come up with much regarding this question specifically. Disclosure: Much to my regret, I am not homeschooling my DS. I ask mostly out of curiosity ... and because I can't stop thinking about how badly I want to homeschool him, especially in high school! :p

Is there any way to make sure your son knows she is getting money specifically for his care? I'm thinking, if she does not spend it solely on him, he may get a glimpse at another, unpleasant, side of her. And if she does spend it solely on him, you can be relieved that there is at least that fundamental tidbit of care.

:laugh: Go, girl, go! I have to ask - did your DH then start writing "properly"?

Excellent blog post. I understand why it was so difficult to compose and post. And congratulations on having sweet Lady Bug home at last! :grouphug: Hugs to you and all the kids.

Heh. You reminded me - my Dad had no problem reading cursive, but always wrote in printed caps. I was in fifth grade, I think, before I realized he even knew *how* to write cursive, because he had to sign a permission slip when my Mom wasn't home. :) Thanks for bringing a pleasant memory to mind!