GWOB
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Posts posted by GWOB
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HUH? I did not admit that I am "wimpy," I said in OUR marriage, we would not be separated. Period. The implication of "wimpiness" came from others.
Nor did I ever imply that people who DO deal with separations in their marriage have "unstable" or "tenuous" marriages.
I'm glad your marriage was stable during your husband's naval service. That's a choice you made, and I'm saying that for my husband and myself, we chose not to have careers that would cause separation. We fell in love in high school, went to different colleges, married at 24, and have always, since our first date junior year of high school, been completely faithful and devoted.
OUR marriage looks different than yours. Not better or worse, and CERTAINLY not unstable.
But I *will* be able to sleep tonight even if Wendilouwho thinks I'm wimpy. Shrug.
astrid
Noooo!!!! I'm not saying you (you Astrid) are wimpy!!! That's why I put it in quotes. Others had admitted they were wimpy. I was not calling you wimpy!
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:iagree: I could survive without my dh around. I'm not incompetent or such, or so delicate that I would cease to exist. But I wouldn't choose that life or enjoy it while he was gone. Dh's father was gone working a lot and we've talked about a similar career as the benefits and pay are better but neither of us wants that for our life, unless it was the only option. We'd rather live more simply.
However, what we would do or prefer has no bearing on anyone else. It is also just as insulting to those who would not want that life to be somehow painted as some poor weak woman who just isn't mature enough or some other such thing.
I never meant to imply that people who choose not to live that life are poor weak women. We chose to leave the Navy after 10 years because we didn't feel like doing the whole separation thing anymore. That doesn't make me weak, just realistic.
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Maybe those of us who have admitted that we could not/would not be in a marriage that involved long periods of separation feel, after reading this thread, that we're wimps, aren't able to "pull up our big girl panties" or have marriages that are unstable or tenuous. And of course there's the old standby-- that I'm somehow unpatriotic because I wouldn't marry a guy in the military? :001_huh: huh? I know that's how some of the posts here have made me feel.
Everyone is different. Every marriage is different. There is no one formula that's right for everyone. Who CARES what anyone else thinks of your marriage? If it works, keep on keepin' on, you know? Life's too short.
astrid
It's ok to admit you're "wimpy" because you know you couldn't deal with it. What is offensive is implying that people who deal with separations have "unstable" or "tenuous" marriages. Like you said above, each marriage is different. My marriage was pretty stable and solid the whole time dh was in the Navy.
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Would you guys take away my WTM membership card if I admitted that I am completely hooked on "Revenge"? Because I love that show. I know it's dramatic and a bit over the top, but I just love it.
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Look, military wives deserve huge medals. HUGE medals. It isn't easy when your husband is away, possibly in a dangerous situation. ANd it never made my marriage somehow "less valid" because my dh was gone. It certainly didn't make my dh any less of a man/husband/father because he was off on his submarine doing what needed to be done (insert submarine jokes here). It actually made our marriage much, much stronger. We HAD to talk about issues because neither one of us wanted to stew over a disagreement when he was leaving for a week/2 weeks/6 months the next day. I learned to appreciate him so much more when he was gone, and he appreciated my strength. It's not that I didn't like him and enjoyed when he was gone. I often cried like a big baby. After 12 1/2 years of marriage (and 4 years after he got out of the Navy) I still cannot sleep when he is gone. He works rotating shift work which requires many night shifts. I hate when he has to go to work after a vacation. He was a great father while he was in the Navy. He's still a great father.
And I get that not everyone is cut out to be a military/traveling man wife. I knew a Navy wife would couldn't bring herself to pay a bill without her dh telling her to. She absolutely fell apart and couldn't take care of herself when her dh was gone for more than a week. That's not healthy.
I'm going to say something that will probably get me flamed, so be aware. If a grown woman cannot function without her man for more than a week, there is a problem. I never enjoyed it when dh was gone, and I wasn't exactly functioning at 100%, but I was an adult. I don't NEED my dh here just to function. I WANT him here because I love and appreciate him.
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Fun! Congrats!
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Even though my parents were rather, um, free with their bodies, and even though I was 1 1/2 when my parents got married, I was raised to think of sexual sin (like doing anything at all before marriage) was the worst thing you could possibly do. I still have issues.
Now, while I was too scared of going to he!! to sleep around, I did have a pretty reasonable way to measure if someone was worth the risk. My cool aunt told me to never sleep with anyone I couldn't imagine being a father to my child. Accidents happen.
I waited until I was 18 and out of the house to have sex. My dh was my first, but not the only. We broke up a couple of times before we got back together for good. I got pregnant before we were married and was made to feel like the Great Whore of Babylon.
Now, as a Christian, it would be nice if my kids waited, but I'm not making any bets. I just don't think sexual sins are any worse than other sins. I want my kids to have a realistic view of sex. I do think it should be special. I want them to respect their bodies and the bodies of other people. I want them to choose wisely, not just whoever has the right equipment. I want them to be aware that even though every pill has been taken or everyone is wearing the right things, you can still make a baby, so you had better at least like your partner.
I honestly think too many Christians make virginity an idol, and we know what the Bible says about idols. It seems as though people focus more on the pure body than the pure heart. I'm raising my kids to be kind, compassionate, loving, caring, and forgiving people. That's what Jesus was about. I seriously doubt that having sex before marriage will ruin their Christian lives forever.
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Who Dat? Apparently everyone:glare:. My paper bag is coming out.
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Who Dat!!! Geaux Saints!!!
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Thank you. :grouphug: How are you doing? I think about you every day.
I am still pregnant. I had no spotting yesterday or so far today. I am also having some wicked nausea, so that must be good, right?
Yay for nausea! I hope you start puking (just a little bit, not too much, smelling things from five miles away, and I hope your booKs start hurting soon. How's that for a weird prayer?:lol:
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She got home at 130am.
Seriously displeased.
That is just not even kinda acceptable:glare:. Disregard everything I said earlier.
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I don't know if I should respond since my dh was in the Navy the first 8 years of our marriage.
How do you deal? You put on you big girl panties and carry on. Yes, it sucks royally, but you just carry on. You talk to one another as often as you can. You cry and scream away from your dh. You take up a hobby like knitting or drinking. You tell yourself 1,000,000 times a day that this is temporary. Then within 2 hours of him returning from his second 6 month deployment you conceive your second child. Well, maybe that's just me:lol::tongue_smilie:.
This won't be easy. I am ridiculously, hopelessly, stupidly in love with my dh. Always have been. I just dealt with it. Two (or 6+) months away was a small price for me to pay for a lifetime with my sanity-keeper. That whole "Keep your eyes on the prize" line? So very relevant in these situations.
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You know all those people who just said "Heck Yes?" This girl right here would be using her newly-acquired Karate moves to get them out of the way to first in line for that procedure! My, ahem, ladies have always been on the "cup runneth over" side. I have the bra indentions and back pain to prove it. My stomach is an absolute train wreck after 3 kids. I wear a size 4 and have some serious hanging skin issues. I would KILL to have the option to put everything back where it used to be! These aren't tiger stripes on my belly/ladies. They are stretch marks from he!!. I have repeatedly told my dh that it would be much cheaper to send me in for a "tune up" than it would be to mess around with a no-baby-having floozy.:iagree: I think I look decent right now, but I know I would feel so much better about myself if I could just fix up the damage. I spent 27 months carrying my little people. I could deal with the 2 week of pain erasing the damage.
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Ok. This will probably not happen in America. Regent rude explained the historical motivation and current application of the law. And I trust her, ya know, since she is German and all that. (Said as an LCMS member-a Lutheran church synod with ethnically-German roots)
Not every country does things the way the U.S. does things. I seriously doubt Germany is taxing people solely on the basis of their Christian status. It seems like just a way of supporting churches, which is almost (if not) as old as the U.S. We American Christians may need to simmer down a bit.
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I totally understand! :grouphug: You know you raised a good kid. She called and let you know.
The youth group leader/pastor should have informed ALL the parents about the event schedule. They should have known when things would be over. I too would be pi$$ed that no one informed me BEFORE the event.
Momma Bear, you have every right to feel livid. However, (and this makes me twitch to type this) we have to let our kids have a little freedom as they age (supposedly). As a Momma Bear, I personally would ask my kid if she had a good time. Then, after missing church the next day so I could cool down/I had the Ebola virus, I would have a very sweet smack down with whoever was in charge, informing them that communication BEFORE an event needed to be improved. Now, I trust the youth leaders in my church. I would attribute such an occasion as a momentary lack of judgement, but I sure as he!! Would not let it slide. You just have to balance the crazy (or in my case ghetto) with the rational. I still think your desire to disembowel them is perfectly valid;).
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:grouphug: and ~~~~~~~~~~~ (those are sticky baby vibes) and lots of prayers.
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I've learned to accept my saddlebags. When the Zombie Apocalypse happens and the Zombies cut off our food supply, I will be happy I thought to store that extra food in my thighs;).
I am a pro at weight loss. Maintaining weight? I flunk.:glare:
I could theoretically get down into a size 2, but I just don't want to run at a fast pace for 1hour+ a day and watch every little thing I eat. I want to get a decent amount of physical activity (karate classes, 30-40min on the treadmill/exercise bike, hiking, weights, etc.), eat a generally healthy diet, and just embrace the saddlebags. I'm 5'2", weigh around 130-135lbs, and wear a 4 or 6 (I carry a lot of muscle on my frame). Dh still wants me, I can move without pain, and I feel great. The saddlebags aren't going away without lipo, so I just tell myself they are my Zombie Apocalypse Insurance Plan.
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I have been told there's lots of running in the Navy, too. You wouldn't think so, but apparently that's pretty important asea. ;)
We did run a lot, in bootcamp. After that, not so much. Dude, we only got to shoot laser guns!!! This hippie liberal wanted to blow up something! Laser guns?!?!?! But, we did get to sail on cool ships/submarines. I guess that makes up for the lack of real guns. And I can tie a mean knot.
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Ok enough is enough :D
I was once one of "the fewer, the prouder" and I'd just like to say that the Marines shouldn't be ruled out just because they're a smidgen harder. :)
I will resolve for here on out not to shrare my opinions of the Marines. And I will not share the creative acronyms we super awesome Sailors came up with for the ladies and gents in the admirably cooler uniforms. My fingers are twitching to write out those acronyms, but I will be the bigger person:tongue_smilie:.
Joann(e), your son really cannot go wrong with any branch. I have found that I have an instant camaraderie with any former-military person. That is a valuable life-experience I would never give up.
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See to it that you do. I want to be able to tell people I knew you before you were famous.
I will personally send you an autographed picture. If you are really nice to me, I may even get my mind-of-its-own pimple to autograph the picture as well.
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Oh yes. And it is HARD! All I know is what NOT to do wrt parenting. Christmas was a big passive-aggressive fest. What you got depended on how well you pleased the NPD person that year. The year CPS got called because I stopped covering for them I got crap for Christmas. I was told I personally ruined everything for everyone. So now I kinda go overboard for Christmas. Hoping to change that this year.
My parents could never be bothered to take me to any sort of extra-curricular activity. They told me I could do whatever I wanted as long as someone else brought me. We wouldn't want to cut into their TV-watching or drama-making time. I used to sign my kids up for everything under the sun. I am slowly, slowly learning to cut down on that stuff.
I don't beat the crap out of my kids. Well, I think that's just common sense.
My kids never hear my dh and I fighting. Dh and I will disagree in front of the kids (I think it's healthy for kids to see their parents rationally work through a disagreement), but we save our throw-downs for after the kids go to bed, and we usually walk outside for those very few times.
My girls will never, ever, ever have my own personal body issues inflicted upon them. They never hear the word "fat" in reference to bodies. They see my struggles to maintain a healthy weight through diet and exercise, but I will never comment on their weight. Dh and I just try to model a healthy lifestyle.
I may go a little overboard in telling my dds that they are beautiful, special people. I watch my words. When my oldest dd slouches, I don't tell her she looks like a d@mn monkey. I tell her to stand tall and proud because she is a beautiful young lady and shouldn't be afraid to show it. I have never called my kids stupid, satanic, slutty (that one came before I ever kissed a boy), hateful, stupid, manipulative, did I mention stupid? I address their specific behavior, not their person. I never try to ruin their relationships with their siblings, like my mother did. Instead, I build up and perhaps overemphasize their sibling relationships.
When you survive an NPD/unmedicated Bipolar/severely abusive home, parenting in a healthy way is hard. you only know what not to do, not what to actually do. I like to think I'm very realistic about my kids' strengths and weaknesses, and I'm pretty sure they are happy, well-adjusted kids. I am saving for therapy just in case;).
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I don't know if this is true, unless you get *seriously* technical like nukes. It is true that the Army has more grunt jobs, but that is because it has more people in general; it has over 550,000 people (severely rounding all of these figures) while the AF is around 330k, the Navy 320k and the Marines 200k.
You are probably right. Dh and I were both Nukes. Based only on my ASVAB scores, I qualified for highly technical rates (Navy equivalent for mos). Our experience with the military is limited. We were told we were the mostest awesomest people ever. So I happily defer to to smarter, more experienced Army/Marine people to explain the jobs available in those branches.
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I hope you remembered to take pictures. Memories like that don't come along every day, you know.
Darn it!!! I didn't know everyone would copy my I'm-allergic-to-mosquito-bites look. Man, I could have made so much money off of that. Next time I get a massive period pimple, I'm totally gonna patent that sweet look.
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:iagree: and I did not say otherwise. I said nothing about or against enlisted personnel (guys and gals) in my post. I did not disparage or question the work ethic, educational prospects or job prospects of enlisted people. I figured if her son were talking to recruiters they had aspect that covered.
ROTC can keep some kids interested in college, who otherwise might not think it is an option. It is good to know all options, yes?
:grouphug: It's not you, it's me. From what I have gathered from other branches, the disdain/looking-down-upon/dislike of enlisted people is much more pronounced in the Navy.
2 month separation from your DH, would you freak out?
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
:grouphug: Sorry for the misunderstanding. I like you. I may disagree with some things you say, but I like you and wouldn't purposefully call you wimpy.