She is exactly right. There is a difference. Calvinist refers specifically to your soteriology. Reformed encompasses a lot more including your views on baptism, eschatology, and your system of hermeneutics (and some other things!). Many people use the terms interchangeably though.

Youa re so right... the definitions get kind of hazy. I consider myself a calvinistic baptist. :D ALthough I usually say reformed baptist, the other is actually closer to the truth. I am sure someone has already suggested it but the must-read book is "Desiring God" by Piper...or anything by Piper. Other favorite authors are Edwards, Spurgeon, DeYoung, Driscoll and I love the Resurgence and Together for the Gospel blogs.

Oh my word. I am so glad you are all ok. :grouphug:

If you consider yourself a continuationist and calvinist then you might appreciate CJ Mahaney. MacArthur is a personal favorite but he is a cessationist.

Welcome to the world little guy!

We are fine here in Malaysia. We are on the Indian Ocean and this is in the Pacific but we are praying for our missionary friends in Indonesia.

Sounds like an easy fix, right? Try telling that to the parents. I may think it sounds logical but they will only hear "our kids are being held back" and then there is the whole saving face/shame thing and it will cause them to push hard for the children to NOT be held back. It has taken me nearly 2 years to truly get a a handle on how real this is for them in their culture. They will have to face their extended family, members of their community, other parents of children in the same class and explain that their children are being held back which is the height of shame. It is a mindset I am only barely able to comprehend but it is very real.

It is still up in the air but not looking good. :( Everything was right on track until the bio father (the teenage boy who got the teenage girl pregnant then took off) found out that she was adopting the baby out to a "white" family. He saw dollar signs and suddenly was back in the picture and trying to extort more money from us. We had agreed to pay her hospital bill which is the common thing in adoptions here but then he wanted more...a lot more...and it became more like we were buying the baby. It's become a distasteful situation with him trying to "sell" the baby to the highest bidder so we took ourselves out of the equation. We pray that they find a nice home for the child and if not, that they will see the error of their ways and call us. He has no intention of raising the child or even continuing to "date" the child's mother. He just wants a "cut". And she won't stand up to him. It makes me ill. :glare:

Yeah. They were accepted about a month before I arrived in Malaysia. I would never have accepted them in the first place. Now I have to clean up the mess the last principal left. :glare:

How about Him giving me a baby girl at the moment I had lost all hope? :D

Thank you all SO MUCH for your input. I have read every comment about three times. There are so many factors in this decision. Holding a child back a grade is always a big decision but I have never had a situation like this before and add to it the OTHER dimension of time urgency (we are in the height of admissions season, all the grades are full or nearly full so I HAVE to make a decision now rather than waiting a few more months) and the pressure is heavy. After reading all the posts I think I am going to try this: 1. Be honest in a VERY culturally-sensitive way about their children's progress. I have to be careful here not to make things worse for the boy (or for the girl for that matter). 2. Give them the two options of moving both ahead or keeping both back and the pros and cons that go with each. 3. Explain my preference on the matter is to hold them both back (even though she is ready for kindy...she is still quite young...they are October babies and the youngest in their class and really should have waited a year before starting anyway but that is another story). 4. Let them choose. If they choose to move them both ahead then it will be with the condition that the boy receive additional instruction outside of preschool to get him ready. I hope they choose to keep them both back but I don't think they will. And at that point I hope that the little boy is able to catch up developmentally and that I am not faced with this same issue this time next year. :glare: Because I am a homeschooler at heart I always want parents to be the ones making decisions that they feel are best for their children. That's one of the things that always bugged me about PS. I just hope this all works out.

OMG really? The injections could help with that??? I thought I would have to do a face lift! Totally going off to research it.....

I tried. Really I did. :tongue_smilie: But honestly, my ds hates art...never even liked to color or paint as a young child. And he dislikes science experiments as well. I had him doing them all the time then one day (actually about 3 weeks ago) he said, "Mom, do I HAVE to do the experiment? I mean, I get it already. I get what they are trying to show me. Can we just move on?" And, well, it was February and I was tired and cranky so I agreed. :blushing: I'll do better next year. I promise. ;)

That is a really good question. I'm not entirely sure but I believe it is something he will catch up on eventually. I am going to explore this more....

Actually it is both motor skills/size and academics and social skills. He is just far behind his peers in this class (and his sister) in every way. And I know you kepp saying "this is kindergarten" but this is kindergarten here, not like it was when I was in school...it is just different now. And in the whole "shame" issue and I am not sure what is more shameful...holding them both back or pushing them forward and him being the lowest performing student in his class? Who knew there would be so much stress involved in kindergarten decisions?

That's helpful. :glare:

I have not spoken to the parents yet because as I have to have a plan firmly in place before I do (hear that squeaky sound? It's the can of worms I will be opening! :tongue_smilie:). I am leaning towards promoting them both but telling the parents that they must work with their son to get him ready for kindy (which means they will put him in tutoring for who knows how many hours per week). The "shame" thing is such a new dynamic for me to deal with. It just goes against everything I believe in but it is very real for them.

That's definitely heavy on my heart right now and it has been a huge learning experience for me... that is, learning how VERY serious that situation is in this culture whereas in America we are more like, "What's the big deal?" I can't change an entire culture and I don't have the right to. I can work within it or leave. This is how academics go here. It is more important than anything else. So I have to figure out how to do what is best for these two children WHILE showing respect for the culture I am in whether I agree with it or not. sigh....

Not here. What you describe is our preschool for 3 year olds class. Coming out of preschool 4 they are expected to know their alphabet, have letter recognition for both upper and lower case and know the sounds the letters make. That is the bare minimum they must have in order to be accepted into kindy. In kindy they start right off with reading from day 1. That is the norm here in Penang as nearly all kids start preschool at age 3 and most of these are "academic" preschools.

...the plot thickens. So thanks to all of you ladies and more research of my own... I had decided to keep the twins together in the same kindergarten class next year rather than put them in two different classes. Well, now I have another issue that I need some wisdom for with these same twins. They are boy/girl twins. And preemies so small for their age and a little behind in motor skills (not significantly but noticeable). They also tend to get sick a lot (especially the boy). Not major illnesses but lots of colds, flu, etc. They have made a lot of progress BUT ... The girl has made more progress than the boy and will be ready to go to kindy next year. The boy? Not so much. The preschool teacher is recommending holding him back in preschool another year. :svengo: The layers here are many: -they are twins. How do I promote one and not the other? If I do that, they will be a grade apart for their entire school career. I think that will be emotionally damaging to them especially when I was hesitant to even put them in separate kindy classes. -they are Asian. Their parents will FREAK OUT as it is "shameful" if your child is not a genius in the culture here. -the boy is the one that needs to be held back, not the girl, and unfortunately, that is a big issue in this culture. If I move the girl up but hold the boy back it is shameful to a degree we cannot fathom (especially since he is a "first born"...in fact...only boy). -the parents are high-rollers and give tons of money to the school. I know it should not be an issue and it is not a defining issue...but it does hover over my head every time I walk by our new playground with their name on it. :glare: So what to do? Hold them both back even though the girl is more than ready to move ahead (and face the firestorm I will get from the parents)? Or move them both forward knowing the boy is not anywhere near ready and will be left in the dust by his classmates and just hope he catches up before it damages him too much emotionally? I feel like no matter what...this is a lose-lose situation. Any wisdom for me?

Here is some encouragement for you: anecdote #1- I don't remember being taught how to write an actual essay- a 5 paragraph with an outline type essay- until 11th grade. We learned the process in a week. anecdote #2- I taught High school English for 10 years. When working in inner city Detroit schools I was teachng students who could barely put a sentence together. Literally. And these were 11th graders. I was able to teach them not only how to write an essay but to write one well enough to pass the state test in about 6 months. anecdote #3- I did not do any "formal" writing programs with my ds...just narrations, copywork, etc. from K-6th grade. In 7th grade he now attends a private school and has learned the 5 paragraph essay (and how to write one well) in about a semester. anecdote #4- I work at an international school where better than 50% of the students are NOT native English speakers. They can speak English well enough to attend our school but writing essays in English is typically difficult for them. However, they learn the process well enough in a year to outscore the United States AND the international averages on the SAT and ACT writing tests. The moral of the story is... read much and read widely, learn to spell, learn grammar, learn proper punctuation, read some more. When it comes time to "write an essay" the process can be taught and learned really quickly. I think we stress too much over what is actually a simple process.

Honestly, if her dh is willing to ignore it there isn't much you can do. If it were me I know my dh would have the internet turned off in a heartbeat. Problem solved.

I think it is funny but I fall in the dark humor circle too. I once saw a car with a bumper sticker that read "Are you as close to Jesus as you are my bumper?" I almost fell over laughing. :D

Unfortunately, the question is too broad. It depends on the state. It depends on whether or not they receive funding from the state...what category of funding, etc.

Unfortunately, the question sis too broad. It depends on the state. It depends on whether or not they receive funding from the state...what category of funding, etc.