:001_huh: :lol: - You go girl! I have to admit, I've called moms and said, "Since you told me you're not using X, I was wondering if I could drop by today and pick it up. I just want to get it out of your way. :tongue_smilie: Thanks. Your post made me smile.:001_smile:

Your whole post made me laugh but the above was the BEST!:lol: You are so right! I never thought of it that way before. It's a good lesson for all of us. And, like another poster said, a lot of new moms want hand holding and they just don't understand that's not what this is about. I also think some of them have been so busy blaming the public schools for what's wrong with their kids, they don't realize some of what the PS were telling them were right. Not all things are the PS fault and I have seen many a mom pull kids out, only to put them back in because they realize what hard work it is. Quill asked if I offer my stuff, and the answer is yes. However, after this discussion, DH and I have decided we will not be doing that anymore. We have two kids and have had to re-buy too much curriculum in the last 5 years. This has been a great discussion in our house all day. It's fascinating when you realize everyone in your house views books and curriculum as a commodity and precious, but could care less about the furniture, clothes, or toys we've given away. It truly was an AHA moment for us.

:iagree: :hurray: Excellent! I am so going to start using that!

This has been so cathardic, I keep linking everyone's posts!:lol: I so appreciate all the advice and :grouphug:s! No, your post does not sound selfish. I have felt because so many moms helped me when we started 8 years ago, and gave me curriculum that I should be doing the same. However, you have some excellent ideas that help both the seasoned homeschooler and the newbie (I bolded it above). I'm starting to see what others have said to me on this thread, I really shouldn't be loaning things out, giving them away or giving advice to new moms because I can't do it anymore with a glad, giving heart. Maybe that's OK, because even if I don't get much money, the money is always helpful for buying new curriculum. But it's more selfish of me to loan stuff out and be annoyed about it than to keep it and sell it to help my family out. :iagree: You're absolutely right. This is also an excellent point. I borrow books and take VERY good care of them and I expect others to be the same way. But, you know, we shouldn't be borrowing books from others because my oldest does not treat her things very well, and every once in a while accidents happen, so maybe this is a good rule of thumb for us. My oldest borrowed a book from someone and returned it without telling me, and the person she returned it to thought she had also borrowed another book. DD says she didn't, the other child says she did, and I feel a little obligated to replace the book because I know how forgetful my DD can be. The other mom was very gracious and said her son should not have been loaning out the books without her knowledge so he'll just have to replace it on his own, because neither of us has anyway of knowing who is right. I just talked with DH about this because of your response and I think this is a good way to do it. Unless you're GIVING it away, it doesn't leave the house. Neither a borrower or a lender be.

This is really good advice for me. I have plenty of moms who haven't taken my advice and it TRULY does not bother me. It's when they argue with me like I'm giving them bad advice, or come back later, and tell me, "Why didn't you tell me?" The labor analogy is good. I don't give advice on childbirth, I don't tell my story to new mommies, and when new mommies act like they know what it's going to be like because they've read 20 books about labor and delivery, I smile and say, "Well GREAT!!!! I just KNOW you're going to have a great delivery." Because really, I was the mommy you're describing above and I learned the hard way. I even went back and apologized to a friend for being a know it all before L&D. :lol: I guess I should start approaching homeschooling the same way. :iagree: This. This is what keeps happening. Sorry it happens to you too. Maybe that's why I like these boards so much. I recommend them to people and they won't come here. But really, I don't get my feelings hurt here when I give curriculum advice and someone slams it. I usually snort and say, "Well, different strokes for different folks." And, the flip side is true. When I come on asking for advice, I know I'm going to get some I don't like, but it doesn't hurt coming from people that you don't REALLY know. KWIM? The advice here ends up being objective and well rounded in that way. Maybe that's why it's such a popular board. :001_smile:

I know we've hashed and re-hashed this several times in several different ways on these boards, but I am feeling really low right now and just need some understanding ears. I'm so tired of giving away curriculum or loaning it out to new homeschool moms and they do one or more of the following: A. Never use it therefore tying up my money (because I could have sold it), or preventing me from loaning it out to someone else. B. Lose it, misplace it, or tell me they thought I had given it to them so they sold it. C. Use it and destroy it but don't offer to replace it for me. D. They NEVER say Thank you. Case in point, last year I mailed a set of books to a friend who had moved away, and I didn't get to the post office right away. I was mailing them to her at no cost to her, and she called me a week later demanding to know where they were. Then, she never said thank you. I had to e-mail her and ask if she had ever received them, and all she said was, "Yes, I got them last week." No Thank you, no nothing. She has not spoken to me since and I will never see those books again. I have a similar situation going on now, and i just feel used. I'm getting to the point where I don't want to even talk to new moms about homeschooling. I end up getting so offended. They don't take advice, they argue with you, they insist that they know what they're doing because they've been "watching" me, and it can't be that hard. Well then why did they ask? I even asked a mom that once. I said, "You know, I guess that's all I have, you seem to have a good grasp of things." When she called me up a week later asking me more questions, I told her I didn't really feel comfortable talking to her, not because she wouldn't do things my way, but because I couldn't handle the arguing, the fact that every time I opened my mouth she told me why that wouldn't work for her child and why I was wrong because the public school did it *THIS* way. She apologized and said she wouldn't do that anymore, but of course, she did. Then, after a while, they call me up to cry and for encouragement, which I don't mind giving, but they say things like, "No one told me how hard this was going to be! No one told me XYZ! Why did I buy this curriculum? Why didn't anyone tell me this wasn't going to work for what I needed? Why isn't there more support for homeschoolers?" :001_huh: REALLY?!?!?!?! *I* did!!!!!! and the worst is when you watch a mom pull her kids out of school, follow no advice, from anyone, only to put them back in school a year or two later and criticize homeschooling like that's what the problem is. Like it's the entity of homeschooling, not them. Or it's the curriculum or whatever. I know I should take the attitude, "Neither a borrow nor a lender be," or I should look at it like giving money to charity, it's none of my business what happens to it, and why should I care if they take my advice or not. But the problem is, I feel like they're wasting my time and my money. Homeschooling is something I'm passionate about. I have put my heart and my soul into this lifestyle, we have lived it, and my children are living proof of this. We have put blood, sweat and tears into it, and it is no small thing to take an evening of my time to sit with a mom and discuss catalogs, and goals. It is no small thing to loan out my curriculum that my husband works two jobs to provide. *I* did take the advice of other moms. I asked questions and took notes, I spent, and continue to spend hours and hours on my computer in research and on my knees in prayer. I go to convention to hear the speakers and find ideas and encouragement, and I don't blame them when something doesn't go right, or if their lecture doesn't pertain to me. I'm the one who asked for their advice! Why go argue with them after the lecture!??!? :rant: OK, I'm done. . .for now. . . Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent. :grouphug:

Actually, we have only ever been able to complete one book in a year. We don't mean to be slow, but we are. I think it would be perfectly reasonable to do two books in a year too. HTH! Dorinda

I think that's excellent. The problem with American schools is, they won't allow for that. Hence all the grading curves. In high school, if less than half the class passed the test, they re-gave the test, and if the highest grade on the test was less than 100%, the highest grade became the A, and it pulled everyone else up in points. College was similar. I remember in college I was one of 3 students making an A in a history 101 class. The Dean forced the prof to implement a grading curve so more of the students would be able to pass her tests. She refused so the school allowed all the students that made a C or lower in her class to re-take it the next semester free of charge. She (the professor) was not invited back the next year. Ridiculous. This has been a good discussion!

You make some good points, but this still doesn't separate the excellent students from the average. As a matter of fact, I have a GREAT short term memory, so I would cram for tests the morning of and make an A, but not retain any of the knowledge. As a result, I had decent grades in math, and could not pass a college math course. I guess the argument can then be made that there is no perfect grading method, and there will be loopholes in all of them.:glare:

Ugh! I hate chiggers. I had them once and we caught them early enough so we were able to kill them with Nail polish. As for the Benadryl, my drs say you can use both. As a matter of fact, we've been dealing with an itchy rash from head to toe for the last 7 weeks (LOOOOOONG story for a different thread) and Benadryl is the one thing you can mix with other antihistamines when desperate. We were using both Benadryl spray and Benadryl pills. Thankfully, we're not having to do that anymore, but dd is on Zyrtec every 24 hours and when the rash flairs we use Benadryl Cream or spray with no problems. Blessings! Dorinda

I've lost 10 dozen eggs!!!! I'm losing by following the Diabetic Exchanges. So many carbs, meat, fats, and fruits a day dependent on your height (no, I don't have diabetes). Veggies unlimited. Way to go! I'm hoping to lose an automobile tire:auto: Blessings! Dorinda

:party:

My oldest has been consistently 2 years ahead of HOD guides but I'm REALLY hoping they might work for high school. I guess we'll see.:tongue_smilie: When will the first one be done?

1. What are your Grammar goals? Are you more Rod and Staff or CM? Meaning, are you all about diagramming, or do you think diagramming is next to pointless? 2. Are you trying to find an all in one program, or do you want 3 separate programs (Spelling, Writing, Grammar)? 3. Why didn't each of the programs above "work?" That will clue you in to what you're looking for. 4. For your two older kiddos, do they need more instruction in grammar and writing, or are you to the practice and perfecting stage? Where are their strengths and weaknesses when it comes to writing? DH says I collect writing programs so I don't want to overwhelm you with suggestions. I do love them. I buy them, read them, and then decide whether to sell them or keep them around. If I keep them around, pull from all of them throughout the year. Kind of teaching them in units. A unit from this, a unit from that, it works for us.:lol: BUT, tell me where your kids are at and I can recommend something specific. Right off the bat, I would actually recommend Total Language Plus for your two oldest kids. Each TLP unit covers writing, vocabulary, spelling and grammar. The only thing lacking from the program is it's VERY CM in the grammar dept. Strictly narration and dictation. I don't go for that, so I throw in Rod and Staff. However, I know plenty of people who go the CM route and do just fine. It's totally a me thing :D My oldest does about 3 units a year and it requires very little teaching from me. I meet with her about 2 times a week to discuss the comprehension questions, go over the daily work, and work on her writing assignments. LOVE IT! If that's not your cuppa tea, tell me and I'll recommend something else :D For the younger kiddos, answer my questions and I'll give you some ideas. I LOVE Language arts. Can you tell?:tongue_smilie: Blessings! Dorinda ps I forgot to ask! How is your 2nd grader's reading? Is he/she proficient or still emerging? What about writing? Stuggles with handwriting, or loves it?

If you've checked out VP, those are my main suggestions. Also, MFW and HOD are worth checking out. Sgt York, and With Lee in Virginia, are two that come to mind. DD didn't like them, but I hear the boys in her class did :lol: Blessings! Dorinda

:grouphug: This was where I was this year with 6th grade. I think you're grieving. No one can tell me they don't grieve over milestones in their kid's lives. We grieve for what we've lost as well as the fear of what's to come. It's hard, and I think it's only going to get harder. However, I think there will be seasons of refreshment and excitement too. This year was a grieving year for me. Like Oh Elizabeth, I had just turned 36, my "Oldest baby" turned 12, and was thrust into middle school before *I* was ready. After trying some new things out, lots of prayer and tears of grief (I did a lot of crying in the middle of the night this fall), I'm ready. I also went to a lot of high school seminars this year at our homeschool convention, which really helped. Now, I just turned 37, dd will be 13 in a couple of months, and I'm excited about next year. I'm ready to take it on and plow towards high school! However, I'm also realizing that there will be more periods of grieving as we go through the next 6 years. Don't get me started on how I feel about college!:crying: You can do it Mama!!! Go Donna Go!!!! Blessings! Dorinda

This will be my first year to write detailed course descriptions, and syllabi (syllibuses?):lol:, but I've always taken grades and done lesson plans. We've used HST from the beginning and I just can't praise it enough for this sort of thing. When it comes time for transcripts, I will simply have to click a button. My kids have always had report cards because I felt it was important. And, like a pp, I really wanted them to understand how the real world works. In College, it's all about the grades. As a matter of fact, it's still about the GPA for some jobs. DH has been out of school for 15 years and there was a job that turned him down 2 years ago because of his College GPA. We. Were. Stunned.:001_huh: After that, we really started pushing deadlines and grades in our house. I'm headed toward this too. DD was in VP Scholars academy this year, and it really helped us to see how deadlines could work, and assessments could be done. She aced her final exams (there were 3 parts to them), proving they are not a waste of time. She had some writing assignments and memorization projects too, but never final exams before. We're going to follow Ambleside Online next year and they have an EXCELLENT discussion on High School requirements and grading in generalhere. It's a lot of info, but I highly recommend it. I thought so, until my oldest tried and tried, but simply could not make better than a C on some topics. There are some things that you will not ever be proficient at. A is supposed to mean EXCELLENT, C is average. Therefore, I had to dig deep a couple of years ago and realize, just because she was homeschooled, she was not going to be an A student. I actually started a thread about it, and the general discussion was about how arbitrary grades are, and how hard it is to grade. At the time, I asked my dad, who was a college professor back in the 80's how he graded his students (he taught at West Point for several years). He said West Point graded using the Thayer system. In a nutshell, it's the belief that you bring your best to class every day, and therefore, you are tested on the previous material every day, for a test grade. All things are created equally, and there is no, 20% participation, 10% daily work, 60% final exam. It's all equal, every single assignment. That revolutionized my way of grading. I now grade everything that way. I do feel it's fairest. Every child has strengths and weaknesses, and every child has good days and bad days. My daughter does MUS for math and she will make an A on the new topics, but Cs on the tests. It's because the tests are review, and she has a hard time processing multiple topics on one paper. Therefore, I started grading every paper as a test. She doesn't deserve an A because she needs to work on shifting gears and switching from one topic to another. She doesn't deserve a C or a D because she DOES know the material presented, but does better if it's the only topic on the page. Therefore, it all equals out. She has mastered the topic to the best of her ability and her grade averages out to a B. The same goes for Language Arts. She has strengths and weaknesses, and when they're all graded equally, it all averages out and gives a fair assessment of her overall ability. When you grade this way you truly separate the A students from the C students. For a student to get an A, they HAVE to be "Excellent." They have to have an overall talent in everything, not just in test taking skills. If they are great at tests but stink at every day work or class discussion, than they get a B or a C. I know this seems a little off topic, but since the discussion had turned to grades, I thought I'd put my two cents in :D Great discussion! Thanks OP! Dorinda

:iagree: We did a mix. At night, once my oldest was about a month, dh could not function anymore with her in the bed so we moved her to her crib. However, during the day, I napped with her and, since I always fed on demand, we often fell asleep in those first couple of months. DH worked nights for 3 years and she would often sleep with me until he came home and moved her to her own bed. She only breast fed for 3 months. My youngest breast fed for 16 months, and we had a cool bassinet that was right next to the bed so dh could sleep more comfortably. He would still wake up with us to feed, but any movement by the baby and he would sit straight up thinking he had rolled on her. Poor guy:lol: So, that was our compromise. However, when he got up to go to work at 5, she would want to eat and I'd keep her in the bed with me. We also did all nap times together. I have such cute pics of my girls sleeping in my bed together all snuggly. My girls still cuddle up with me in my bed in the morning. And when one of them is sick, they nap in "Mommie's bed." I have to think it's because we let them co-sleep off and on. No harm done.:001_smile:

You're still glowing. You have a natural luminescence LOL!!! Great pic.:001_smile:

The one that spoke to my DH was, "Hey Girl, it's Date Night. Let's talk Curriculum" Gee, I wonder why that one spoke to him?:lol:

I think that's when I started crying from laughing so hard. Such a perfect site.

OK OK One more!!!

BAWHAWHAW!!!!!

OMG I am litterally Laughing out loud!!!! I have spent hours trying to figure out how to punch holes in my Veritas Press Timeline cards! LOVE this site!:lol:

Graceland!!!!!:d