Yay! I'm almost ready to celebrate with you :) Just need to set up a grading spreadsheet and print the KISS grammar book for DS11.

Shame it's not enforced. Around here, at least, even the pot shops are big on pushing for enforcement. They don't want anything to turn the voters against them. Although I haven't smoked in years when I figured out it was one of many migraine triggers for me, but many of my friends and family do and they all seem pretty intent on following the law so that the law isn't revoked.

I take it CO doesn't have a no smoking in public spaces law? I'm in WA, where pot is also legal. Never seen anyone smoking it in public, but it's illegal to smoke within like 20 feet of a business, at public/private outdoor events, or within so many feet of a park. Vaping was also made to follow the same law recently. I think that is why the edibles are more popular up here.

Immoral? Not committed? I see this is going down the usual "judge everyone that doesn't believe just like me path." And I was accused of being judgemental! Pot, meet kettle. BTW, I'm in my 40s. I would say well over 2/3 of the longterm couples I know lived together or still are. In fact, one couple with two adult children just got married after 22 years because they had to for her to inherit his pension if something happens. 22 years of a very committed relationship. The point of the research is that a 20 year old that gets married is just as likely to get divorced as a 20 year old co-habiting couple is of breaking up. Difference is that the co-habiting couple have it much easier to move on than those that have to break the legal stranglehold of a failed marriage.

removed, double post :)

If it is a mistake then the child will learn from it in their own way. My child holds no obligations to me -- unconditional love. My only obligations after the onset of adulthood is to provide guidance without judgement -- not to issue rules on how the child will now be an adult (unless mutual agreements were reached beforehand). Also, I'm sorry you feel that my parenting style is a judgement of yours. I was unaware that parenting children and adults differently could be construed as judgement. Since I was raised by someone that was controlling and that still judges me as a failure since I am not a mirror of their values and personality, I made a very informed decision to parent very differently.

Actually, research has come out in the last couple of years that actually backs up that living together is not a precursor for divorce. That argument just doesn't fly anymore.

I lived with my DH before marriage. In fact, I personally wouldn't marry someone unless I had lived with them. I also fall into the camp where marriage is in the heart and the legal paper is for tax purposes. I have other values that more than make up for my "failing" here, though :huh: Generally, an adult is an adult is an adult. If, as a family agreements, were made to pay for college, then I would hold up my end of the agreement to the child. If I was opposed to the arrangement for some reason, then I wouldn't cover living expenses (unless previously agreed upon with a no SO roommates clause). At most, I wouldn't be paying for the SO's share, just like I wouldn't pay any other roommates share. But then, our parenting style is much more about letting our kids grow into being their own people, as opposed to punishing them when they don't mirror everything that we believe in or value.

I feel like I live in a different world, lol! Gifts within our tribe are more in the $5-10 range regardless of age. Handmade gifts or second hand gifts also aren't unheard of. Around the age of 10 or 11, the kids become responsible for buying gifts themselves for their friends. We have a party for a 9 year old coming up and my son is making a tile game (Micropul) from free printables online and supplies we have on hand. We'll combine it with some food items for a game night gift basket - cost about $5. For kids we don't know well we give books -- usually activity type books such as those from Klutz, that we pick up in major sales or in like new condition secondhand. A $30 gift is about our budget for one of our own kids' birthdays (unless it's a special gift year, like the time younger got a telescope or elder got a laptop).

I think it is regional. Around here, no one would bat an eye at a group of two or more kindergarteners walking home together, let alone a single third grader. We also have "walking clubs" in our elementary schools, which are adults that lead groups home after school or activities when they have further to go or must cross busy roads after the crossing guards have left. Also, keep in mind that shift work hours are much different. 45 minutes may be just enough time if your shift ends at 4pm. Or, if you have an older child that gets out of middle or high school at 3:30 pm so they can supervise the younger until you get home. And while many of us here would never put a child in a club that didn't match out values, this is because we are speaking from a place of privilege. When the option is a club with a questionable motive or not being able to work and eat that week, the club starts to seem like a better choice.

Around here, you can do anything in a school if you get the PTA/PTG to sponsor it and sign off on it. Otherwise, anything to do with religion cannot advertise to the student body on school grounds and they have to pay a huge facilities fee to rent a gym or classroom. For example, the boy scouts get around the rule that no school can sponsor a religious organization (which they are considered until they drop the athiest/agnostic thing. Fingers crossed, but they are just beginning to make strides in the right direction on the LGBT thing), but most of the more secular troops meets in schools using the PTA work around. Of course, there are a lot of double standards around here, so I am sure many religious groups slip through the cracks.

Ack! This is where we are at with my rising 6th grader. He's accelerated already, although unlike his brother, we aren't allowing him to grade progress too much due to just not being mature enough for it yet. Yet, when we look ahead to high school we know he will be missing SO MANY opportunities at the local science-focused high school. Benefits we can't really take advantage of unless we enrolled him. That may be counteracted if he matures enough for early college admission. We are already brainstorming this issue -- part of the reason we are planning to move in two years to our dream retirement location. It is also near many top notch opportunities for homeschoolers that would appeal to younger son's goals and passions.

Flossing isn't really done for the teeth, but for the gums. I have excellent teeth -- never had a cavity, they came in perfectly straight. Dentists always raved about my teeth. I never flossed -- ever. imagine my surprise when I'm diagnosed with gum disease. I went to a dental school for treatment, so I was talking with professors that must keep up to date on everything new so they can pass it on to their students. I'll take their advice over a bunch of sensationalists headlines badly distilled from the actual studies and put out to get readers. Once again, anecdotal, but since I went through treatment and began a regular flossing routine (along with brushing properly, something most people don't really know how to do for proper gum health), my gums recovered. To be clear, I had the beginnings of bone loss already, my gums were receding, all of my teeth were loose, and they were already talking about my need to save up for a full set of implants. I was only 37! Now, there is one molar that may have to come out in the next few years due to bone loss, but otherwise my teeth are firmly in place, my gums are relatively healthy, and I won't have to have a gum transplant. Even if the headline is correct, flossing is harmless when done correctly, so why take the chance?

I'm 2 years in with my eldest. Pros: -We can focus on where he needs to focus. No worrying about basic gen ed requirements he already has down to fill up a "schedule." -Plenty of free time for outside activities without being out of the house from dawn until well after dark. -Little work for me beyond the initial planning stage, just weekly meetings and occasional help with things that stump him. -More opportunities at his age plus he can seek them out on his own. I feel he has more experience moving in the adult world because he is homeschooled and was given more responsibility from a young age. He turns 16 in a couple of weeks and already has several job offers -- in a town notorious for not giving work opportunities to teens. -Dual enrollment. As a homeschooler he doesn't have to take any high school classes once he is 16 or a junior, instead he can attend college full time and the state lotto funds pay for the first two years (public schoolers can only attend part time unless they get special permission from their counselor). His program and school of choice offers a 3 year bachelor. He already has a one year scholarship on top of dual enrollment. College is paid for except for books and lab fees. Cons: -Social stuff was tricky at first. It's been easier this second year because he took the initiative and he became comfortable with using a bus pass. -Some things need a group setting, like music, and there always seems to be fewer choices for homeschoolers the older they get. Fortunately we have access to all public school electives through a special "parent cooperative" campus, but I have to jump through several hoops and reeducate the staff on homeschool laws every year to prevent them from trying to press him into a full time schedule. -Constant worry that we are forgetting something vital even though his PSATs and college entrance exams were awesome. I know he hates science labs, but I still feel like we failed by not having a hardcore chemistry lab.

I've been using a modified version of the bullet journal for 3.5 years now. I just can't do digital, it falls off my radar too easily. I work full time from home, do the books for both mine and DH's business, homeschool two kids, coordinate an astronomy club, and am on the board for two different organizations. I needed an all-in-one planner that was small and would last me a year. I use the bullet journal method in a BN Picadilly notebook for my daily tasks, except I write out a week of entries every Saturday and add to each days lists and migrate items as needed. Each week also has a goal list, which are extras that don't have to be done but should be done, which I can quickly look at and choose from when I have down time I want to fill. This is finished off with a weekly tracking page for work purposes. I record the weather each day as well, for gardening purposes. At the start of my BuJo is a yearly calendar, so I can write down things coming up in future months and keep track of birthdays. This is a two page spread. It's followed by a chart I draw up of gift occasions. I track and plan gifts and parties here (I tend to handcraft gifts or buy well in advance). Each month section then starts with a calendar page with upcoming events marked, followed by a page with the weekly menu plans, a ledger/budget page, and a page where I track exercise/monthly big goals. This is followed by the weekly pages. I tend to split the book in half with a divider tab. The back half is for making lists (collections in BuJo speak), which I refer to as needed to fill out weekly and monthly goal lists. I also make collections for books to read, gardening tasks, HS planning, board notes, and stuff like that. I also have 12 pages in the very back set aside, one for each month, that I use as a 1 sentence daily diary (quick record of something memorable or important from that day). I think of these as the old time household books or ledgers people used to keep, and I at least enjoy looking back through them. Maybe someday my kids will, too :) The only thing not tracked in my BuJo is grades. I keep grades and transcript info in a spreadsheet on Google Drive. It took time to find the method that worked for me. The key is to find the method you will use!

My high schooler/college student makes his own schedule. I give him his work for the week and he fits it in around his schedule and outside classes. We meet on Fridays to grade and verify he is staying on task. His schedule can look really odd some weeks, but it works. For my 11 year old, we school M, Tu, Th, Fr as regular days. Wednesday he does math in the morning while I work, then we go on a long all day hike. We pick a different trail every week, although we do revisit favorites. Hiking is better on week days, fewer people in the woods compared to the weekend! We go regardless of the weather except in really heavy snow or ice. In that case we just have a down day and plan the next adventure :)

I think you are doing great, but I understand the need to do more! I think for your son (and possibly for you) the next step is to take the eco activity out of your home. Perhaps look into starting a young eco-activist group. Jane Goodall's roots and shoots program has excellent information on starting a group and choosing a service project so you could tailor it to the drought needs of your community. rootsandshoots.org

I was very minimalist when I was single. Everything I owned fit into my Geo Prism. This was because I needed freedom. I would sometimes go months without a permanent address when I was backpacking or traveling, so I needed to store everything in my car or a friend's closet. I preferred living out of a backpack. Still do. Plus, I hated stuff. When DH and I moved in together, I brought over my car load of stuff and he brought over his. And then he brought over another. Then a friend with a truck showed up. I was in shock. Our first few days resulted in major decluttering, I just couldn't cope with the visual noise of everything. Fast forward to now, my spaces are relatively minimalist. Just what I need for clothing, for my office, in the kitchen. My decor is simply and streamlined -- no real knick nacks or clutter. DH's spaces are overflowing. DS15 is like me, he carts stuff off as soon as he outgrows it. DS11 is like dad -- won't let go of anything. I also have a ton of hobbies, but they aren't stuff-heavy hobbies. Fortunately, now that we are getting serious about downsizing to a small cabin or yurt in the next two years, DH is purging like mad. He is seeing stuff as a weight keeping us from our goals. Even DS11 is getting in on the decluttering. We are also a zero waste household, which means we have to balance minimalism with a pledge not to generate unnecessary waste. For us, this means no paper plates. Instead, when we entertain I borrow from friends and neighbors. We are very involved with out local sharing economy, which benefits both minimalism and zero-waste goals.

Do you have a Lowe's in your area? Lowe's has a fund where they donate a certain amount of raw building materials to Eagle projects. Not sure of the details, but all the troops I know of use it as a major source of funding.

It is not uncommon, to my knowledge, for kids to be permanently kicked out. There is a "school at home" online option they give to the kids that are not allowed on district property anymore. The decision meeting was tonight, and it appears this likely won't be "our" problem anymore :( Reporting was done (not by me) and the boy was removed from his home today. Out of the troop's hands now. It was decided that if he does try to return in the future, that his mother or future guardian will be referred to the council for placement elsewhere due to something between the mother and the SM. I didn't and won't press for details. A very sad situation all around.

Alessandra, we used to have an awesome council, and then they did some shuffling, some people left, sigh. I used to be a council level volunteer and I just couldn't continue after it fell apart. This is a combination public/private/homeschool troop on the more secular spectrum. My son joined up with this group when he was public schooled (first grade). Schooling situation with problem youth is unknown. He was previously permanently kicked out of local school district, not sure if this is still in effect. Likely it is. Very much an ongoing train wreck. Honestly, the kid is just a victim of a bad situation, but he is also victimizing others. The violence goes back to at least Wolf year, thus the one-on-one. Recent events (prior to camp) seem to have made it even worse.

We are mandatory reporters, SKL, we do not get a choice to not report. There is more than just the quitting medications that necessitate a report, but that would enter privacy concerns so I am purposefully not sharing that information. As for the adults deciding that dealing with a VIOLENT boy would be a learning experience worthy of a scout to have? I desperately hope that wasn't the case because then what right now appears to be a lapse of judgement during a difficult time suddenly becomes a much bigger problem that will necessitate me having to bring into question the wisdom of the camp director's employment with the council.

My high schooler takes a photography and an art class at the local public school. Only way we could afford to give him quality elective instruction at the upper levels (most homeschool groups in our area seem to aim for younger kids, and high school offerings only focus on college prep). Our rules are his electives have to be on the same day. In this case, the electives are only offered twice weekly, they aren't a daily class. I there is a down period between the electives, which the school requires he either leaves campus, sits in a study hall room, or studies in the library. For the last two years he has opted for a study hall that is run by one of the math teachers, this way he can work on math (his weakest subject) and have someone there willing to answer questions -- helps him maximize his day. If you are going for part time, make sure that the classes have a social time sandwiched in them. For example, if it's morning classes, make sure your kids stay for lunch. Otherwise, there won't be much socializing going on. Not as much of a concern if it is an elective that is heavy on group work and in class socializing, though (like photography or a music class). I know here, at least, I also have to be very steadfast in defending our homeschooler status. They have, in the past, "accidentally" enrolled him in extra core classes, or called me insisting that he needed to take a state test or that I need to come in and show what he's doing at home during their conference weeks. I'm equipped with a copy of our state law and i have calmly told them no and stuck to it on all of these occasions.

This simply isn't how the game is played. There is no reason to run through the area in pursuit of a Pokemon. As soon as it appears on your screen, you can catch it. There is no actual chasing of the Pokemon required. The people doing stupid stuff are either trying to find a pokestop and they have poor map reading skills (the stop shows on the map, an augmented Google map. You locate it, put the phone down, and walk to the stop). The walking comes from going through an area waiting for the Pokemon to spawn, or from traveling from one stop to another. No different really than staring at the GPS coordinates on the GPS or phone when geocaching -- you get a basic idea where to go, then look at your unit/phone to dial in on it once you are close. Those walking into traffic/off cliffs are reckless individuals. They aren't standing still for the five seconds of actual game play where they spin a stop or toss a ball. Instead, they hold their phone up and step backward. Or, they can't read a map properly so they have to stare at the screen to figure it out as they walk.

Thank you all for your input thus far! I do agree there was a leadership failure -- this boy should not have been on the campout from the beginning, since the one condition of his going wasn't met. I do need to clarify a bit. There were adults, adults were stepping in, but part of their stepping in seemed to be using by son as the negotiator. I am not a helicopter parent. My son has been an SPL or an ASPL for two years now, leadership is his thing. Neither myself nor DH step in for much at all, and we are relatively hands off with all scout stuff because this is DS's thing to do. At this point I would have to do the talking because it is a committee issue, though. He would be asked for his side, as would the SM, but otherwise it would be the non-leader adults making the final decision. I like the SM, and I hate to point fingers at him. I do honestly believe he was doing his best in a difficult scenario. All registered volunteers are mandatory reporters, so at least one of us will likely need to report something. The issue isn't that the boy has ASD -- I merely mentioned that because that puts a different spin on it than if it was a neurotypical scout being violent. We have several scouts on the spectrum, this is the only one presenting these issues. The others have responsible parents. And this is where it gets tricky, as well. The mother isn't going to change, period. This was a fifth or sixth chance. The troop even paid for him to go to camp, which really makes the entire situation even more difficult to stomach. We have likely lost at least one scout from this incident, if not more. This is a young man with the size and strength of an adult, attacking 10 and 11 year olds. There are districts where the district level scouters are actually helpful and they know their jobs, and even more so, do them? It must be nice. When we had to change our charter it took almost two years for our district office just to figure out who's signature they needed on the form...