I have often-empty and non-specified storage baskets on shelves in several parts of my home. My friends find it amusing and perplexing. There is one that will check my baskets every time he visits! I am a ruthless declutterer in a 1200 sq. foot house that really only needs about 800 sq. feet. I abhor knickknacks (although I do compromise on this with the rest of my family) but like you would have really empty rooms without the empty storage. I see nothing wrong with it and love having the flexibility to temporarily store and/or sort items at any time with it all out of sight. I currently have a bin with some small packages that need to go to UPS next time I am going in that direction, a bin of library books ready to return, a bin of the next history books dd will start using in two weeks when her current ones are done, and a collection of dishes that were left at a recent potluck, ready for pick up. All out of sight. One thing I cannot resist is books so my bookshelves are pretty full, even though we heavily utilize the library. When I have a shelf that is sparse, I'll turn some of the books with pretty covers to be displayed outward, like photos. Or cover up a section of less-visually-appealing paperbacks with an outward-facing book with a pretty cover. Might that be an idea?

I have come to think of deep poverty as a disease based on observation. I wouldn't say that it is hopeless but the long-term effects are as potentially crippling as medical illnesses can be. I live in a neighborhood that is a mix of generationally poor families in subsidized rental housing, elderly people barely hanging on, and middle class owners (mostly single people)......very few of which are able/interested in maintaining their properties adequately. The very poor make choices that I can observe that are completely perplexing to my always-middle-class brain. Until I read a few books and experienced close relationships with people in this situation, I was inclined to believe that their bad choices caused their poverty rather than their poverty driving their bad choices. Even a very surface head shake wondering why people would fill their yards with garbage or accumulate several junk cars makes sense when you realize the insides of their slumlord-owned homes are so bleak that what happens in the yard is of little concern. It is purely anecdotal, but I was once very close to woman who grew up in an extremely poor and unstable home. She also spent many years in the foster care system and in fact aged out while in foster care. She was lucky in that she stumbled upon support and help that is not common for someone in her situation and by the time I met her, she was married and firmly in the middle class bucket. But she was never able to change her brain to be middle class. I watched over 10 years as it all unraveled, largely because she could never adjust her impulses away from the fight-or-flight mentality that was ingrained in her from her childhood poverty and instability. She was absolutely powerless to change this even though she was aware of it and actively sought to "correct" it. She is very intelligent and had read books and saw therapists trying to address this. She KNEW it was interfering with her choices and relationships. She was not successful. Her marriage disintegrated as her husband never could understand why she did the things she did. Once divorced, an unplanned pregnancy, what I would consider poor financial decisions that seemed perfectly rational to someone inside her brain, and an injury that made her unable to work has landed her in hopeless poverty again. That injury is a perfect example of the different choices the very poor make from middle class people. It happened at her job and in her experience people who reported injuries at work would get fired. So she didn't. Which meant she eventually got fired anyway because she could no longer do the job well and she did not get any workman's comp to boot. The hope is gone. So much so that she has pushed away all of her middle class friends....mostly because she is embarrassed by what she has become again. There IS something to this. It is not impossible to work your way up and bootstraps and all that stuff, but to deny that the cards are significantly stacked against the very poor is just cruel.

The Government class is listed as a single semester. But it is only offered in fall. I need spring. Blurg.

I asked this question buried in a much longer thread so have made a new thread for just this question. Can anyone recommend one-semester OR asynchronous online secular US History or Government classes?

While I agree that kids' sports can get seriously out of hand in all sorts of ways, lack of fairness (in quotes or not) should be addressed. Unfairness, real or perceived, interferes with a rewarding experience for all. Unmatched abilities and size will always happen because kids develop differently. We create inflation of those issues when using grade as a sorting factor when red-shirting in a known and frequent phenomenon. I think that applies whether we are discussing cut-throat scholarship competition or learn-to-play rec teams. I'm not sure the motivation really matters here.

I only checked with the one university, so I'm not sure it would not be accepted elsewhere, but had I known what I do now, that is 100 phone calls to find an AP site that I would like BACK! Although, I do have to say, dd's satisfaction with a 4 on the exam was likely worth it after four years of study. Also, because Latin does not require any special equipment or procedures, the site we ended up using had no problem administering it even though they do not offer the class. In fact, the closest school to us that does offer the class is a 10 hour drive.

It's not just about winning and scholarships. It can take as few as 2-3 larger, faster, more developed kids on a single team to take the fun and cooperation out of it for all of the others. Then there is a safety issue for some sports. I know if I was considering putting my average-sized, average-aged kid on a hockey/soccer/football/etc.... team with kids on their own team or others that are significantly older and larger, I am going to be concerned. I realize school teams likely have to go by grade for practicality reasons. But I see no reason for non-school sports or rec teams to not go by age and deal with kids who may need exceptions for maturity on a case-by-case basis. I will also say that my dd's coaches always make our kids compete UP an age/grade level if they sense they would not be challenged in their own or would crush the competition. This means there have been races that dd would have taken 1st in her own age group that resulted in her placing much lower. I am totally fine with that.

This is very much an issue in the sport my dd lives and breathes. Dd is of average size and one of the youngest in her grade. Her sport can involve some contact and intimidation so size does matter in the most competitive competitions. Red shirting for academics is quite common in my area and more than half of the boys on her team are a year older than their grade. None of the girls on dd's team are but we do see it on other teams. We have the rare opportunity to study this because half of dd's competitions are age-based and half grade-based and often involve the very same people so we can look at results for comparison purposes. Dd and her female teammates place MUCH higher in age-based competitions. Dd's male teammates place MUCH higher in grade-based competitions due to their mostly-red-shirted status. Grade-based can have 9-12th grade mixed. In a race last year, 14yo dd was competing against 19 yos. There is simply no fair way for a still-developing 14 yo to compete against a fully grown 19yo who could be competing at the collegiate level, and the results reflected this. There is a great body of evidence that even the single year differences of 12 months results in significant levels of success based on when your birthday falls. In my dd's sport, this is so significant that you can almost predict with 100% certainly the chances of a talented kid getting a college scholarship based solely on month in which they were born. Dd did a study and wrote a paper on this for PE this year. Luckily the category of competitions that really "count" in my dd's case are age-based so grade-based competition is not a real issue for us. But dd is in the unlucky situation of being born on the losing side of the year so that is always a factor even in age-based competition. As to what should be done, I have no idea! At the rec level, I would only be concerned about safety. Red-shirting is so common now that you would expect outliers to be distributed amongst teams evenly enough to be OK. But I do think age should be the placing factor in sports were safety is a factor and in serious competition where scholarships might be on the line.

The 1/2 history credit is called Environmental Citizenship. I think most universities are going to view this as an elective rather than a history class. The English class falls into a similar category (looks like an elective, IMO) and is called American Literature and the Land. But dd will have more than 4 credits of history and English so I am not worried about it. But it certainly does NOT help knock off any of the history goals I have for dd such as world history, US history, or government. The perfect solution would be to DE US history during that spring semester. That is not entirely off the table if I can find an online DE option for that class. But the local university, where dd will be taking pre-calc on site, only offers US history as a two semester sequence, so dd could not jump into he spring class as the fall class is a prerequisite. Do you (or anyone) think taking DE government would be a mistake without having first had high school level US history? This is the most appealing of the options in front of me at the moment. Anyone know of any online outsourced ONE-semester (or at your own pace) high school level options for US Government and/or US History? Summers are off the table, unfortunately. Dd is heavily involved in a activity that has her on the road and very busy for most of the summers. Every attempt we have made thus far to do anything in the summer has failed miserably.

I plan to do something similar, I think. Part depends on how far we get with a half-year of world history next spring. We may cover more than we think, depending on what else she studies. I just cannot figure out what to fill that last credit with.

I just checked the (public) university my dd is most interested in attending. It DOES accept Human Geography (which dd is not planning to take) but does NOT accept AP Latin (which dd did take)! I do not want to be the one to break that news to dd.......

Not to be a downer, but this can be a real problem. We had to travel out of state, which required an overnight hotel stay, to find a location for my dd to take an AP exam last spring. I made over 100 phone calls and countless emails to find that place. It was insane. I found that all of the school within a four hour radius had no interest in helping homeschooled students. It has changed my level of lifelong support for public education, frankly.

My dd is in 10th grade and has always been homeschooled. She is currently on the traditional high school path that closely follows the courses her public schooled peers are taking. For high school, we have done 6 credits per year: Pre-High School: Algebra I, Latin 1-3 9th: AP Latin (4 on the exam), Geometry, Biology, World History I*, Literature/Rhetoric I*, Music 10th: Algebra II, Honors Chemistry, World History II*, Literature/Rhetoric II*, PE, Intro to Computer Programming *These courses are set up TWTM-style with a combination of the 4-year cycle of history, literature, and rhetoric. We had planned to follow this basic path through graduation. Our state does require US History, US Government, and State Government for graduation, none of which dd has taken yet. I had planned to split World History III and IV with US History and add Government (combo US and State) as a 1/2 credit in place of an elective in 11th or 12th grade. And frankly, I live in a no-report state. No one would know to what extent these were covered, how, or how in-depth, so I do have some flexibility there. Now, we have a twist in the plan and I need ideas on how to adjust. Dd is likely attending a semester boarding school for the fall of 11th grade. She will be back home for the rest of 11th and all of 12th grade. She will earn a full credit of lab science, 1/2 credit each of English, history, art (or another elective), and PE during her time at the semester school. The English and history classes do not align with TWTM style we have done thus far, nor does the history cover any part of government or US history. I would really call these "electives" even though they technically fulfill core credit requirements. And note that math is not offered. I already plan to dual-enroll dd at the local university for pre-calculus for the spring of 11th grade, which will take care of a full credit of math. I also plan to do an abbreviated version of TWTM-style World history/English III at home for an additional full credit. That leaves a minimum of one full credit we need to come up with during spring semester. And since fall is elective-heavy, I would like that credit to really count as far as fulfilling graduation and/or admissions requirements. Dd is currently interested in STEM fields, but is NOT considering elite schools. We do not have to worry about getting this perfect. She also needs to be NCAA eligible. We have easy access to dual enrollment options, which I lean towards for two reasons: 1. Coming home after boarding school is going to be a difficult adjustment emotionally. The "distraction" and independence of DE may make that transition easier. As in, I think sitting back down at the dining room table for full days of mommy classes are likely to result in us killing each other. 2. I am (unexpectedly and necessarily) now working full time and am finding that I am simply stretched too thin to dedicate the time necessary for full home-taught education. However, online, or even home-taught classes are not out of the question with some advanced planning. I am mulling over some options. I see US history and government being a bottle neck in 12th grade, especially if World History IV (TWTM-style) is still on the table. If I could knock part of that off in spring semester, that would help. The university offers a US government class. That would be a full credit right there. I have concerns about a student going into a college government class with no high school US history or government background. I'm not sure if those concerns are founded. Dd has interest in taking Spanish. There are no DE options here for introductory Spanish, so we would have to seek an online option which would yield no more than 1.5 credits of Spanish total, should she continue through 12th grade. I'm not sure that is a good use of her time since she will likely already fulfill any university language requirement with her AP Latin and therefore would be unlikely to continue Spanish in college. Since we suspect 12th grade is going to be history-heavy, perhaps a DE English class would be a good choice, which could free up more time for history in 12th grade? Other ideas? Especially DE or outsourcing? Am I missing anything obvious? I am sure someone will suggest another science class, perhaps DE, but I would like to avoid that as the full credit she earns in the fall is an AP class and she will have to maintain her studies in that class throughout spring semester in order to be prepared for the AP exam.

That is an interesting possibility for sure.

We had to euthanize our 20yo cat about four weeks ago. She likely had cancer but we never got an official diagnosis. Basic blood work showed everything as normal so without going into extensive testing and treatment (other than trying antibiotics) that would not be appropriate or comfortable for a 20yo cat, that was the best guess our vet could give. We have a single cat remaining in the household. She was a stray before we took her in so we are not certain of her age but the vet estimate when we took her in 12 years ago was that she was 2-4 years old at that time. So she is in her mid-teens. This cat has never been super friendly and mostly ignored our older cat. She has always been overweight and eager to eat. So eager that as our older cat declined and gradually started eating less and less, this cat would take advantage of leftovers when no one was looking. She actually put on a bit of weight over the last 6 months as a result. She is fed a commercial raw food twice a day. We do sometimes feed her grain-free canned food for something different or when we have cat sitter. This cat has never been picky. She has always gobbled up whatever is put in front of her. About two weeks after older kitty passed, we noticed this cat was not finishing her meals, which is very odd. She started eating less and even refusing some meals altogether as time went on. We have been offering a variety of foods at each meal with little luck. She is eating something each day but I would estimate her total intake is about 25% what it was one month ago. Absolutely nothing else is remiss. Her behavior has not changed at all. She will eat crunchy treats with no trouble chewing. Her belly can be massaged without complaint. Litter box habits are normal with reduced output but still regular. She is not drinking excessively. Her eyes are bright and fur soft. She is the same level of social and does not seem any crankier or needier than she was a month ago. She "complains" about being hungry at all the predictable times and even excited as I prepare the food but then sometimes does not even approach the plate to see what is on it once I put it down. I have a vet appointment next week. We do not have multiple options for vets in our area and I am not super happy with the one option we have. So, in tandem, I am hoping people may have any ideas I can try and/or research while we are waiting. We are concerned about her health but since she is eating at least something daily and could stand to lose a few pounds anyway, we don't feel this is an emergency situation yet. We figure there are two possibilities. Legitimate illness or psychological. We will be exploring the illness possibility with the vet. Anyone have experience with cat hunger strikes after a change in the household.....as in the absence of another cat? Could this be in response to our older kitty's passing even if it seemed they had zero relationship? In her 12 years with us, there has never been any big changes. No new pets, no new children, no one moving in our out, same house, even the same furniture (wow, we are boring...). Could this have rocked her world that much? And if this is possible, is there anything we can do other than wait it out? We have contemplated adding another cat or two to the household. That may make things better.....or worse? I am really just wondering if anyone has had or seen an issue like this that did not turn out to have a medical cause.

Same here. Black eyed peas and greens every year. No one where I live knows about this tradition. It took three stores to even find the legumes this year!

What is this?

This might be my favorite advice.

I really appreciate the advice. I expected it would be a bit all over the place but was hoping for more consensus. From the above quote, I too have always heard the kittens in pairs thing. In this case, I can see it being better just so they play with each other and don't torture cranky cat. But TWO kittens sounds like way too many antics for me right now. I also wonder how to provide a safe, secluded spot for cranky cat. How do people do this in reality? We have an open concept house, which is the biggest reason the long introduction plans we should be doing never seem to work well. Anywhere cranky cat can get to, a younger cat will be able to. But this is why I lean towards adopting an adult....in the hopes that it will be calm enough to not bother cranky cat too much. Cranky cat is "technically" elderly by age but she is still curious, active, and ALWAYS causing mischief. 20yo cat was here first so it is possible cranky cat might like other cats and it was 20yo cat that started the drama. It is this glimmer of possibility that has me thinking more into cat selection than I normally would. We are usually "show us your most hopeless cases at the shelter" pet adopters. Aside from these last two, we usually adopt senior cats, age 8+, that don't have much chance of being adopted.

We lost our 20 yo cat a few weeks ago. She was the best cat ever and we miss her terribly. She was a lap cat that always needed to be near her people. We have another cat (we'll call her cranky cat) who was a stray that we have had for 12 years. We estimate she is 13-15 years old. She is not a lap cat, does not really like to be touched much, and is pretty independent. She is 15 yo dd's cat and is a little more interactive with her. The two cats mostly just ignored each other with no serious aggression between them aside from the occasional hiss-and-swipe when one got too close to the other. We did not introduce them the proper way where you spend weeks and weeks slowly merging their spaces together. And while we have the very best intentions I know it is unlikely that we will be good about this in future introductions. Our house is not set up well for the long drawn-out separation needed to really do it properly, and frankly, my dh and dd are super impatient about stuff like this so they work against me. Given that, what is the mostly likely success scenario for acquiring an additional cat or two, with "success" being as-happy-as-possible cats? I doubt it is possible, no matter what we do, to make cranky cat best friends with any other cat. I would really love this since we travel a lot and I feel like it could combat boredom and loneliness when we are not home. But I suspect that is simply not possible given the cranky disposition of cranky cat. I very much would prefer to keep the cat count to two but would consider three if it could make the situation significantly better. We plan to adopt cat(s) from the local shelter. Which scenario has the best chance of harmony and perhaps even cat friendships: 1. Adopt one adult lap cat that seems to get on well with other cats in the shelter and hope cranky cat doesn't flip happy cat into another cranky cat. 2. Adopt a kitten in the hopes that kitten cuteness with appeal to cranky cat's motherly instincts. The risk with this being it is hard to tell if a kitten will become a lap cat, which is very important to us and I am not really in the mood for kitten antics at the moment. 3. Adopt two lap cats that already like each other so at least they will have a "friend" even if cranky cat never comes around. Can one cranky cat flip two happy cats so I end up with THREE cats who hate each other? And given that cranky cat is female, would we be best to introduce a female or male?

Dd was heavily involved in an intense sport for 7 years. She quit somewhat abruptly but we did support her decision. Just days later, she boxed up all of her gear. And her medals, ribbons, and trophies that had been displayed on a wall in her room. She just wanted to get rid of it all. I am not super sentimental and lean to the side of minimalist when it comes to keeping stuff, but even I was a little taken aback that she thought she would never want to look at them again. I ended up boxing up her prizes, her team warm-up jacket, and a few photos figuring she might want to look at them someday. She never asked. Nor has she done that activity in any form since the day she walked away. She is a very private person, but I suspected her uncharacteristic lack of sentiment was rooted in something negative about the activity that I was not aware of. Sure enough, years later, I learned that she was dealing with a significant issue with bullying and looking at that stuff reminded her of that. I asked her if she would have stayed in the sport longer had that not happened and she reports she would not have. She was done with it anyway. But that she may have wanted to keep her ribbons on the wall for a bit longer. Luckily she is involved in another intense sport with wonderful teammates and reports that she DOES want to keep her mementoes from that sport if/when she moves on.

I learned that lesson the hard way many years ago. It also did not occur to Santa that pogo sticks are not terribly fun in three feet of snow. Luckily we were able to exchange it and once May came around it got more use than just about any other toy we ever bought for dd.

I am one of those people that just does not notice changes in people's weight. I am better about noticing a new hair cut or glasses frames, but even those often go by unnoticed by me. People have gotten offended by my lack of comment about weight loss. The fact is, I probably didn't notice and if I did I would never say anything. I get comments about my weight all. the. time. and it is very awkward. I just try to avoid the whole topic whenever I can. But what do you say when someone says, "you haven't said anything about the 20 pounds I lost?"

It worked! I took the dough out of the fridge to let is soften then added the missing sugar and rechilled.

So, It's been done! I'll try it! Thanks!