We just went through this. We live where there is no grocery delivery available and we happened to begin quarantine the day before I was going to do my two-week shopping trip. Friends brought us tea, snacks, and supplements. That was all great. But the greatest thing someone did for us was grabbing a whole bunch of versatile groceries that they dropped off that day. This took the immediate worry about cooking away. Some of it was not stuff I'd normally buy but it was such a relief to have a few days to figure out a longer-term food solution. She also ordered us a few meal kits. They arrived several days later but were also super awesome. It meant that someone besides me could prepare food if need be and I could focus on the other things we were dealing with. I would have also been thrilled with ready-made meals but we are vegetarian and most of our friends are afraid to try to cook for us! So, I say ready-made meals and/or groceries.

On a positive note, we had a covid+ in our tiny house and isolated the person. The other household members did not get sick. We followed the advice to test 5 days after last exposure. We were negative and therefore allowed to end quarantine on day 7. We continued to quarantine until day 10 anyway, just because we could. We are now weeks out and everyone is still negative. Our isolated person had their own bedroom but we only have one bath so we did all have to use that. We kept the vent fan on 24/7, everyone wore masks in the bathroom, except when showering, and our isolated person hand sanitized before entering the room and was asked to text us any time he used it so we could make a point to stay out for at least an hour afterward. We almost didn't bother as we were all in a single car for hours the day before the symptoms first appeared. I figured we were for sure going to get it, but somehow didn't. I'm baffled but will take it!

This is perfect. Thanks!

I live in an area with shockingly high doctor turnover. We have always been bad about scheduling the routine physicals. I am usually behind the ball. But now for the THIRD time in less than four years, I try to schedule a routine physical for someone in my family only to find the doctor is gone. No one notified us. Dd and I are both picky about the type of providers we see so it is a tedious process to find a new provider every time. And then we have to start all over again. It is beyond frustrating. I am starting this all over again today. Dh, dd, and I all have now-missing providers. Three different doctors, all moved on within the last year. Since we are starting from scratch, I really need to know what I should be scheduling annually. What is routine for male and female adults with some risk factors but no current medical issues in their 40s? What types of appointments should I plan to make and how frequent? For instance, should we be getting annual physicals? Every two years? Three? I really don't know. What is routine for an 18yo female starting college in the fall? How often should she be seeing someone? And, is it appropriate to ask a potential provider if they plan to stick around for a while? It seems so pointless to even get routine physicals if there is zero history and often missing records.

Former academic advisor here..... My own dd is starting college in the fall but we did not consider 4-year rates. As others have said, there are some majors that are going to be more than 4 years for almost everyone, including dd's area of study. It *can* be done in 4 years or less but almost everyone does at least one co-op, which drives the rate down. If you switch majors, which many many students do, that can tack on significant time. And in my dd's case, I am going to encourage her to take lighter loads even if it means her graduation will take more time, because I would much rather pay for an extra semester or two than have her spend the first 4-years in a state of panic. I don't feel like the rate really says much about a school or program. It can but often doesn't, making it difficult to assess from the outside looking in. I would spend my energy on some of the contributing factors like course availability, available support for struggling students, and admissions policies.

As others have said, it really comes down to your household's cooking/eating "personality." We have been members of CSAs for 20+ years now. We usually have to buy a double share, even though there are just three of us. I like the challenge of using items I am not familiar with and we waste almost nothing. If I can't find a way to use something before it goes bad, I will preserve it in some way for future use. Like, we once got 20# of carrots during a routine CSA winter share. I don't have a root cellar and they would not all fit in the fridge. I put 5# in the fridge to use normally and washed, chopped, and froze the other 15# to use for stock or other uses. I ended up using a bunch of it to make a cream of carrot soup during a week we were all sick and I could not run to the store and the rest did end up in the stock I make and can every fall. This happens all the time so right now, when produce is pretty ratty in the stores, I am relying on what I find in the freezer to round out produce. I like to cook on the fly anyway, but I did make a habit of timing my weekly meal planning to grocery shopping to be the day after the CSA pick-up. That way I could assess what we had, figure out what might need to be put up because I would not be using it, and fill in whatever other ingredients I need to make meals out of each item. Supporting local food sources is very important to my family, so we would do it even if it cost more as long as we have the bandwidth to deal with it. I recognize that for some people, that is a very real and understandable barrier.

I so sorry! We went through this a year ago. Actually still going through it as dh has not found a job. We had planned to keep it to ourselves for a day or two but dd sniffed out that something was wrong and was much more distressed at not knowing what it was than the actual news. The shock lasted a week or so. Then we started sorting things out, health insurance being a big one to tackle ASAP. We are lucky in that I had, and still have, my job. It's not enough for our family to live on but we have been able to limp along between that, being very frugal, and our emergency savings. We also love where we live and really do not want to relocate. Our house is not in any condition to put on the market either. It needs a lot of basic repairs that we simply cannot afford right now. Dh is now looking at jobs WAY outside of his previous field in an effort to stay here. We are now contemplating dh considering a partially remote type work situation which will have him on the road some but allows us to keep our house and give dd some stability until she is soon on her own. Still no luck but we have gotten used to the uncertainty. It really does get easier.

This, unfortunately, is 100% about independence and I very much understand that. This has been a long and difficult few years. Because we are not close, I did not step in to help until WELL after things were a huge mess. Each piece of independence that she has had to relinquish has been very hard for her. This is just one more BIG thing. She is very (or at least was, pre-Covid) very active in her church and used to visiting friends and family on a daily basis. She was gone so much from her facility that the nurses had a hard time keeping her meds on track. Since I don't live there to help her get around, most of her friends are also giving up their driving, and she is so affected by dementia that public transit or even taxis are out of the question, no longer driving is a huge blow. Short of moving her here, which she is adamantly opposed to (and will be the next battle when she completely runs out of money), there is very little I can do to make this better for her. This is not at all about the car itself. We have talked about the fact that her doctors have told her no more driving, and each time she smugly told me that if I "took her car away" she would just go lease a new one. This is not financially possible (she would never ever pass a credit check) and I doubt she could even start and drive a modern car out of the lot. But she does not recognize those barriers. So, she is not at all worried about the car. She fully plans to procure a new one. It is the DL she is focussed on because she does recognize that this is the thing that really could stop her driving for good. She does not remember conversations from one day to the next or even within a single phone call, so even if she was happier that the car was "helping someone," she would not remember just minutes later. This is all so hard. We have put the steps in place but have not broken it to her yet. It is going to be a very long few weeks, I'm afraid. As much as I dread it, no longer having to fret about her safety, the safety of others, and the risk of her getting lost will be a huge improvement to my mental health. This worry has weighed very heavily on me for years now.

No kidding! We have a huge shortage of contractors. I have to turn in every favor I have just to get estimates for crucial stuff. I have given up on any non-essential projects. I am guessing there is not a local crew here that does not include ex-cons. If I were nervous, I would take out a CC just for this job and adjust the spending limit to cover the exact charges then lower the limit to some negligible amount like $100 until you need to use it again or decide to close it. You can usually do this online.

Leftovers from the night before. I adapt my go to dinner recipes to make enough for a dinner and leftover lunch serving for everyone. If there is extra because someone didn't eat that meal or just extra, I freeze in individual portions for the occasional time that leftovers are not available. In the best of times, I have enough in the freezer to not only cover extra lunch needs but to feed the whole house for a few days if I am sick or something. Since we don't eat lunch on weekends, there are usually enough leftover leftovers to cover lunches that follow a dinner that had no leftover like if we ate out.

It looks like in my state that a report to the DMV triggers a retest but nothing about going to court or accessing medical records. But either way, we are definitely tackling the actual car first.

I think because it just seems so mean. But yes, I think we will have to do that. I'd still like it to come from her doctor instead.

I can sell the car on her behalf. t is not worth anything anyway. And yes, Covid rules mean that she cannot come and go right now. She will be able to once those are listed, which I am told will be quite soon.

Thanks. This is all so heartbreaking and I hate to do anything that will upset her so much. I handle all of her mail, except stuff from the DMV since they send that to her actual address. I am guessing she got a reminder in the mail. She is funny in that she cannot remember some things but can absolutely cling on to something. We have been through this with other issues.

All true and all in the works, but it will take time. I just need to address this driving issue right now.

I have a durable POA which means I can, and do, act as her representative when needed but she can also act on her own behalf. I know this varies by state. I our case, we needed this very early on to deal with some complex financial issues (basically, sorting out a huge mess after years of bounced checks, backed taxes, and missed bills) when she was still fully able to make most decisions on her own.

They do by mail but every so many years you have to come in for a new photo. That is the case here.

I've left messages everywhere and am awaiting return calls. I am hopeful they can help but I think it is pretty unusual. She is the only resident there that even has a car so they kind of didn't know how to handle it to begin with.

They do have a shuttle for going to some local stores. She also has a local support network who will give her rides, but she is shy about asking. I'm afraid she is no longer able to handle the planning required for using a bus or taxi. Like remembering when and where to meet for pick up, keeping track of schedules, etc.....

I am her POA. What you are suggesting is become her guardian. This requires going to court. I am in the process of getting this going but it takes time. And it's a high bar. There is a big space between not realizing you are an unsafe driver and not able to make any decisions for yourself. I need to address this issue well before any of this can happen.

Please don't quote as I will delete this later. Deleted for privacy but happy to continue the conversation. It has been very helpful!

I can read and consider myself of at least average intelligence, but I am struggling to understand the CDC Covid guidelines. Say someone in your household tested positive for Covid. And this person isolated from all other household members within the house. No one else in the house has symptoms. I understand that the quarantine clock starts for the other members of the household when isolation began. After that, the guidelines get fuzzy. If no one develops symptoms, they are to quarantine for 10 days. No test needed. That seems clear. If anyone develops symptoms, the clock resets. Also seems clear. This is the part that confuses me. The CDC also says that if the exposed people display no symptoms AND test negative at least 5 days after the last exposure, they can end their quarantine after 7 days. Am I understanding that correctly? If one can get the testing stars to align just right, the quarantine period can be shortened to 7 days?

So little of a person's clothing shows up on Zoom that I'd recommend she just wear plain tops that are comfortable. No need to overthink it. As long as there are no graphics or crazy collars, anything a step up from a Haynes T-shirt will do. I am on Zoom for work every day and I give presentations to large groups of professionals. At first, I made a point to dress nicely. But after reviewing recordings, I noted that no one can tell what kind of fabric I am wearing. Now, I have relaxed considerably and wear whatever I am comfortable with. I keep a pair of nice earrings, a scarf, and a hair brush near my work station so I can transform PJs into "work clothes" even if I am caught off guard. Earlier this week, I has to throw the scarf and earrings on when I got pulled into a meeting while wearing a really ratty hoodie. I don't normal like decorative scarves but it was worth it to wear for 20 minutes as a trade for being able to wear a hoodie the rest of the day!

Despite the fact that my mother is a hoarder, she insisted I take everything that I wanted out of her house the summer after I graduated from college. Then got upset when I packed it all up and planned to take most of it to the dump and/or Goodwill! I lived in an apartment with no storage so I'm not sure what she thought I was going to do with it. I was completely fine with the request and thought it was appropriate....most of the stuff were things I had just been too lazy to do something with before. The hardest part was getting it past her once she discovered I did not plan to keep it all. Decades later, I found the bags that I had set at the end of the driveway for the garbage pick up stashed in her basement. She must have gone out and grabbed them after I left but before the truck came. Sigh. Luckily, it was still bagged up and I was able to toss them in the dumpster when we were cleaning out her house. I also had to "re-load" several Goodwill items into my car. She was taking them out almost as fast as I was putting them in. This was years ago but I vividly remember that the breaking point was a prom dress. It was not only out of fashion and something I would have no reason to wear again but it also did not fit me anymore. She was flabbergasted that I was going to donate it. It was that moment when I realized that someday helping her move was going to be very VERY hard. And it was. As long as we live in a place with ample out-of-sight storage, I am OK with keeping whatever dd might need to temporarily store until she is settled. To a point. There will definitely be limits on amount and duration! Luckily, dd is a minimalist.

I too have a huge pile of boxes in the attic. Boxes and boxes of random unsorted paperwork that we took from my mom's house when we moved her into assisted living. She is a hoarder and has dementia. We simply did not have time to go through the papers to sort out important stuff from junk and she no longer can help. There is no rhyme or reason to any of it. I could grab a handful and find a gas bill from 1976, my sister's college report card from 2001, a free car wash certificate from a business the has been closed for longer than I have been alive, some coupons from the 1980s, a few used tissues, and my mom's birth certificate. Every single cashed check for 50+ years is in there....just sprinkled throughout willy-nilly. It makes my head hurt to even think about it! So, it is all in boxes (and boxes and boxes). We had to rent a minivan to even get it all home and we literally used a shovel to scoop up some of it that had been piled in a closet! A few times I have had to venture in to find something very important and will sort as I go....but I have picked the right boxes pretty early on so well over half are untouched yet. So, I *can* declutter this but I really need a full week (month? year?) to do it properly. Or I can just wait until she is no longer with us and shred/burn all of it in one fell swoop. I guess the deciding factor will be if I ever need to move...... It is really not hurting anyone in the attic. I also have boxes of her china, her parents' china, and her ILs' china. Of course. Then there is clothing. With everyone working from home, there are entire drawers that have not been opened in a year. I know we will need that stuff someday....I hope anyway....so I can't declutter it. But it annoys me to no end.