Jump to content

Menu

kristi26

Members
  • Posts

    1,167
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by kristi26

  1. I voted "inappropriate church member." I am a Christian. I serve at church with our high school youth group.  I text the girls in my group and don't include parents on the texts.  I also have "friended" them and their moms on Facebook and Instagram.  I do not text the teenage boys (with the exception of my own ;) ).  I wouldn't qualify in the description "conservative Christian" either. 

     

    I think that what he is doing is just being clueless.  It sounds like he doesn't "get it." The fact that this is making a parent uncomfortable should be enough for him to change some things like including you in the texts. It also sounds like he is a bit disorganized. He has some fun ideas but no great ways to implement them.  He also isn't making wise, safe-for-everyone choices.  I can't imagine a situation where the church would or should be okay with his driving everyone 40 minutes away at 1am without express parental permission in writing.  That's a major liability.  I attend a pretty large church.  My co-leader and I hosted a get-together with the girls in our group a couple of months ago at my house.  All parents were aware and dropped them off here. I still had to get a signed letter of consent from each family.  It sounds like speaking with the person above him would be a good idea, especially to get some safety measures in place for the entire church.

  2. I agree with the PPs. We just sold our fixer upper in February. Decluttering is the biggest thing you can do. Get some realtors in there to give you an idea of what would need done and how much you can list for. Good luck!

  3. How timely! I almost put this on fb as a "first world problem"- my refrigerator is spitting out crushed ice whether you push the crushed OR the cubed button! It just started this a couple of days ago and I am finding it very frustrating. I never used the crushed ice option because it kindof spits it out crazily and doesn't all end up in your glass. And here is a seriously embarrassing confession- it didn't even occur to me to open the door and get the ice until I read the OP. How stupid is that? I guess I can start. But the kids can't reach that high, so the issue will still annoy me.

     

    Netflix keeps telling me it "can't load my lists". If I pick someone else's profile it doesn't have any trouble, but it doesn't like my profile.

     

    To the bolded: We have the SAME EXACT first world problem here!!! Is yours a Kenmore?  Maybe it's a brand thing...

     

    The other problems with our fridge that are making me crazy are also related to our water dispenser/ice dispenser: 

     

    1. Sometimes it won't even give me any ice. It's just too backed up or something in the door. :glare:

    2. Not all of my glasses fit in there to get water, including ALL water bottles!

  4. I would likely send my condolences and then wait for the funeral (just what I'd do, not necessarily the right answer here as there really isn't a "right" answer). I like the idea others have said about contacting the family to see what they want done as well. Good luck and so sorry you're going through this right now!

    • Like 1
  5. All right, I chose, "yes, and I'm usually successful." However! I'm usually successful only in LIMITING the spread.  Typically, at least one or two other people in the house get it anyway. There are six of us here, so only half sick is still a win in my book. ;)

  6. OP, When you post here about your foster twins, be sure to find out whether the people making replies understand things like RAD. I never did until another hiver posted a bit a few years ago about her child who has severe RAD (I forgot her name...she used to post a lot, but isn't here anymore.)

     

    A lot of people will give you sincere advice about dealing with difficult children, but they do not understand in the slightest what the twins' issues are. They will accidentally give you poor advice. Find foster/adoption sites to ask questions. Pamela knows what she's talking about, but a few of the posts on here are not accurate. I can tell by reading them that they think they're helping but honestly don't understand the issue.

     

    I know I don't understand the issue, so I'm not going to give any advice other than to be sure you take advice from someone who does know.

    :iagree:

    • Like 1
  7. I haven't read through all of the replies but I wanted to offer a HUG! I have a child from foster care that has been with us for over a year now and has Reactive Attachment Disorder. Im not saying that is or isn't what you are dealing with, but it is one of the most difficult things my family has ever dealt with. The book When Love Is Not Enough by Nancy Thomas has been a HUGE help as well as getting him in with a therapist weekly that specializes in attachment disorders for theraplay. This book gives many useful techniques for disciplining kids with attachment disorders, much different than anything we were used to with our "normal" kids. Things have to be done much differently with him. The best thing, even though it is so hard, is that he has to pretty much be with us at all times. If not, then we are basically setting him up for failure. 

     

    As I started reading through the replies, I saw this! THIS!!!! Talk to your doctor about it, read up on it! Good luck!

  8. Hi everyone. I am having some difficulty with coming up with an acceptable punishment for the twins. I have constraints put on me because I do not have Guardianship ( DHS has) and they come from a very troubled past- so no physical punishment and no punishment that involves them being put somewhere like a bedroom (no time out), no punishment that could be misinterpreted by the child as a rejection etc....

     

    At the moment what I am doing is I have a chair that I put near me and they have to sit on it for 3 minutes. I have a 3 minute eggtimer that they can watch to see when their time is up. they use this chair for things like trying to smash windows, slamming their brother's head in the door on purpose and throwing sand in to the other twins eyes on purpose ( a deliberate and ongoing occurrence). I need some sort of punishment for really big misdemeanors. like today... the twins have been told a million time to not whack the cockatiel cage with sticks. All sticks have been removed, whacking the birds resulted in sitting on the chair, they have been spoken to kindly, and sternly etc. today I was trying to fix the washing machine ( outside laundry with the cockatiel cage just outside the laundry door) the twins were right behind me. twin 2 said look at the bird being silly. I glanced over and saw the bird lying on its back slowly turning in a circle. I managed to flip it over and it crawled up to its perch. I spoke to the twins in a kind but firm manner and asked them if they had done anything to the bird. no response. I said that the bird looks hurt and if it is hit with a stick or banged it will hurt the bird. as I did not see any stick around and didn't hear any noise I could not be positive that either of the twins had done anything. I went to the house and washed my hands and heard a banging sound- look out the window and twin one has the broom handle in the cage and has pushed the cockatiel up against the back of the cage. I think the bird is going to die. it is now sort of half laying half sitting on the bottom of its cage. the bird belongs to ds19, he loves that bird, and has had it since he was 5 years old. AGH! Twin 1 has spent 3 minutes on the chair, while he was on the chair he chucked his regular tantrum but once off he thought the whole thing a joke.

     

     

    It is behaviour like this that I need a punishment for. 3 minutes on a chair isn't doing anything at all. The bird has been temporarily moved to the shed. But there are other similar things happening that cannot be removed, shifted, changed etc.

     

    I have not read any of the other replies. Being honest and trying to speak in love here (my BFF has had foster experience for tenish years and it is through her that I have gained my own experience from which I am speaking): Your twins need an evaluation asap to determine if there is anything else going on emotionally/mentally and to help you come up with appropriate punishments.  For now, the bird should be taken to the vet and then removed from their access.  They should not ever be left alone with it. It sounds like there is much more going on with them than just typical boy behavior (which is honestly totally normal in foster situations where backgrounds were tough! no judgement here, honestly! just :grouphug: ).

     

    Second thing: Time-outs on the chair should not begin counting until they are silent.  If they sit in the chair and scream for 20 minutes, fine. Start over. Make it clear that they must be quiet on time-out. They WILL test you on this one. Stay firm.  They will then escalate. Stay firm. It sounds to me like they need total and complete consistency (no variant at all) and no reaction from you. The reaction you give, good or bad, is the fun in it for them. (Just my outside observation of similar kids)

     

    Good luck mama! Lots of prayers and hugs being sent your way!!!

  9. I have never lived anywhere where going 11 over led to getting pulled over even most of the time, much less was anything like a "guarantee."

     

    One of the things that bothers me in things like this is the time spent picking apart the context. The point is that white people break/bend the rules in the same way and only occasionally get ticketed while black people get ticketed or pulled over at a much higher rate. I mean, imagine that there's a park full of people. A cop is there hiding behind a bush to enforce that no one litters. She can make allowances for circumstances. Every time a white person litters, she seems to see a reason it's not worth giving them a ticket - too old, it would be a hardship, dealing with that young sick child, etc. Every once in awhile, she does give a white person a ticket, but mostly she just lets it go. She thinks of herself as nice. She thinks she's looking for extenuating circumstances for everyone, but every time a black person litters, she's out of that bush to give a ticket. They never seem to have any circumstances. Should the black folks litter? Probably not. Is the cop being a racist? Um, duh. She may not even mean to be, but she is. And this is life driving for black people. The cops never seem to "see" a reason to let them drive on by. In fact, before they've even done anything, they're often watching them to do something wrong. The white guy driving past doesn't get watched. And if you're not watching, you don't notice when he turns on his headlights and one is busted or when he also goes 11 over.

     

    I have nothing intelligently valuable to add to the actual discussion so I'll remain silent on that. However, I too live in a town where going 11 miles over the speed limit is a guarantee you'll be pulled over.  5 miles at most is the accepted norm. It must be a smaller town thing?

    • Like 8
  10. I have one for me.  An adult.  I didn't know what "park core" was until a few weeks ago.  I got schooled by my son, who corrected me after I told him leaving the park one day that I didn't want him to play with those boys anymore because they were disrespectful by referring to a girl as a "that's some serious park wh0re."  Park core, mom.  Park CORE.  She had some good moves. 

     

    Oh. :huh:

     

    I hesitate to write this but "parkour."

     

    :leaving:

    • Like 1
  11. My ds is a treasure trove of these types of sayings. I have to check myself all the time because I worry he will get upset if I laugh at the cute things he says. (DS is deaf so his speech perception differences cause many interesting language changes.) One of my favorites is "robot pizza guys" for robots in disguise in the Transformer's theme. We also had "deliver us from eagles" in the Lord's Prayer. DD used to switch parts of words. She would say paoosham (shampoo) and tooncars (cartoons). There are a lot more but I can't think of them now. 

     

    This one made me think of yet another one, this one from ODS! Haha.  He used to walk around the house singing "B-I-Engine Joe" instead of "B-I-N-G-O." Lol.

    • Like 1
  12. Oh!!!! I just thought of another one! YDS has a BFF who used to live next door.  Up until two months ago, they'd lived next door to each from the womb. So practically brothers that sleep in different houses. Anyway, they were playing trains together when BFF says he needs another "hooker" piece. They were both searching for "hookers" all over the house, asking us parents for "hookers." Lol. 

     

    Turns out, they needed the little male piece on the end of the wooden tracks (some of our pieces are really old and the male pieces had come unglued). :lol:

  13. When DD was little, she fell at the playground or something and stood up proclaiming that her "ribbons" hurt (her ribs). :lol:

     

    MDS is notorious for mispronouncing things: 

     

    pants-ees for pansies

    spat- oo- la for spatula

    gram- AR for grammar

     

    There are more but I can't even think of them all now. Lol. I love the kiddie weirdness. :)

  14. I'm a Christian.  If that's truly their intention, then they are, in essence, beating you over the head with the gospel.  That's not exactly the way Jesus would have us share our faith. ;) I voted "lose the card" because that would be awkward.  Talk outside a LOT more before going for tea- that's what I'd do. Good luck with this!

  15. Well, it does make me feel better to think "At least there's no barf."

     

    It is beautiful outside and I have several projects going that, if I weren't sick, I'd be looking forward to. As it is, they just seem like chores.

     

    We just moved and while I normally don't mind keeping up with my new house, right now it's just a complete chore.  I've sanitized, sprayed, disinfected, and mopped every surface, not to mention all the laundry. Oh the laundry.  Add to that there was a pipe problem overnight AND DH who is an actual plumber and can fix this problem is away pretty much the next two days so he CAN'T fix it and I'm just done for. :( 

     

    So anyway, yeah, I get it. I totally get that chore feeling.

  16. We have barfing in our house. Yuck. While I haven't been the barfer yet, I still feel completely overwhelmed by the mess, the sickness, the keeping everything going, and the homeschooling.

     

    Hope you feel better soon and can get back into the swing of things quickly!

×
×
  • Create New...