I hate watching it! I just felt horrible watching the episode where the sil gave the little kids gum, and then Kate told her little guy she was throwing away his bear "lovey" because he got gum on it. I'd like to think that I wouldn't crush my 2yo over a childish mistake, and I was really annoyed by the way she called the sil and chewed her out about giving the kids gum. I'm thinkin' she's pretty lucky anyone is actually willing to babysit such a large crew! I also admit to finding one of the older girls just absolutely...(I don't think I can put what I'm thinking...) Maybe some professional help would be in order, because the self-centered-ness seems pretty extreme. Whether or not the cause is a lack of attention from the parents or not, the world does not need another person with that particular personality. While I've heard J & K mention that they realize there's a problem, I've never actually seen or heard them address the behavior in any substantive way. If there's work being done on that situation that is not shown on the show, I'm glad, but maybe it would be in the best interests of that particular child's character to not have the family intruded on with tv cameras. -Just my .02...

I don't plant flowers every year, because most of mine are perennials and stay in place pretty permanently. I don't remember (if I ever did know) where you live, but I live in northern CA in zone 9. The things that have been easiest and best for me in the sun were these: Agapanthus (lily of the Nile) Daylillies (mostly Stella d'oro) lambs ears (for really cool foliage) marguerite daisies Santa Barbara Daisies Salvia (many varieties) flower carpet roses spiraea Verbena Almost all of these have grown quickly and easily as long as they get pretty consistent watering. Not a LOT of water, just a little, but consistently. Some of them need to be divided every few years. That's just where you dig up the plant, break the root part in half or in more pieces, and plant just one section back in the hole. The extra plants can be planted somewhere else, given away, or (gasp!) trashed. Once per year (usually late winter) I cut these plants back so they're really small again (maybe 12" tall). In spring, they bud out into beauties again. Some of the ones I listed make fairly nice cut flowers, if you're interested in that: daylillies salvia flower carpet roses spiraea Good luck with your plans! :) ~Julie~

...and you didn't specifically ask my opinion, but I have some personal experience with being the kid of divorced parents and having to try and cope with my parents "getting on with life". It was, in a word, awful. Even though my stepdad is kind and considerate, and I love him dearly, it would have been better for my mom's attention not to have been divided in that way (and I do have a *great* mom!). I so much wish she had just waited and been a bit more un-selfish in that regard. Us children had really suffered enough, and didn't need life any more complicated than it was already. I look at it as "taking the high road", and being willing to put your children's needs before your own desires. Another factor to consider: I remember hearing a statistic regarding how many children are abused by the mom's new guy. It was shocking, and truly made me wonder how anyone would consider bringing another man into the nest where her babies live! Looking at the statistics, I would absolutely be willing to wait until my dc were out of the nest rather than take the (rather large) chance that they'd suffer even more at the hands of the adults in the situation. It's not happening on my watch! I wish I could remember the statistics, but maybe it can be found by Googling? Perhaps there are other ways to fulfill your social needs without romantic involvement? -just thinking, Julie

Thanks for the info. I have a *house FULL* of company, but I'll write an update after they're gone. Thanks again (so much), Julie

I have Power Basics sitting on my shelf, but have not used it. What I have used is PASS textbooks, which are sort of the same idea. They are supposed to have the necessary content, but at a lower reading level. I like the PASS textbooks much more than the Power Basics, and they're cheap to buy or free to download (I'm not sure if they have the Earth Science for free download, but you could check if that interests you). As to your original question, I think it could work, but I'm not sure I'd do it. IMO, you'd really have to add to the bulk of the work, and you'd also have to add in books that sport a much more technical jargon and more advanced vocabulary. The simplified language in the books definitely makes the concepts easier to understand, but if you're preparing this dc for any college after high school, part of that preparation should include the ability to handle more advanced textbooks rather than those where the info is spoon-fed, so to speak. It's not a horrible idea, and I might do it for a 9th grader, or a kid who has academic/learning challenges, or a dc I *know* is vocationally-oriented in another direction, but it wouldn't necessarily be the best way to prepare a student for the college experience. Obviously, all of this is just based on my own opinions, so "your mileage may vary," as they say. :001_smile: ~Julie~ p.s. If you want to look at the PASS Textbooks, just Google PASS textbooks. They are from the Florida Dept. of Ed., and I think they're pretty well done.

We have a dairy farm here in CA, and many kittens/cats get dumped on our farm. For the most part, we catch all of them and have them spayed/neutered, and then feed them forever. :001_huh: We are now old hands at hand-feeding the babies, since my dh often brings them to me when they are in places where he might run them over, etc. I'm having trouble with one kitten though, and I just can't get it to the vet over the weekend (unless a cow requires a farm call--could happen). This kitten came to us in good shape, and we've been feeding it KMR with success. I usually prefer to feed the little ones through a syringe (sans needle, of course) rather than a bottle. This baby has almost no interest in eating softened kitten chow unless I hand feed each piece. It will eat leftovers off my kids' plates (please don't ask how I know this!).:tongue_smilie: We've moved him to drinking the KMR out of a bowl now, but the problem started before that, so I don't think it matters how he gets the milk. The problem is that he very often makes this funny motion with his mouth. He has done this a couple of times per hour since we found him about 1-2 weeks ago, and it looks like the thing you'd do if you had a hair stuck in your throat, but there's no little coughing/gagging noise when it does this, just the motion. Also, when I went in to feed him this morning, it looks like he vomited up his milk from last night in his bed. I was thinkin' hairball? -but I've never seen one this small with that problem, and he doesn't cough/exhale or bring anything up (except for last night). There's nothing wrong with his mouth, tongue, or the part of his throat that I can see. What do you think? It seems like he may be going downhill a bit now... ~Julie~ p.s. I hope you see this and that you don't mind answering yet another question. Thanks so much!

I was having daily headaches for several years. The allergy meds helped, but the allergy shots have pretty much eliminated my headaches.

I confess that I didn't really research the immuno-therapy shots before I started them, and I can't *imagine* how they could be likened to "the showers"!! I can tell you that for me, it's been worth it. It's not been a cure-all. I still have post-nasal drip that's sometimes waaay too much. what I don't have any more is the daily headaches, and the month-long illness that always sets in for me in Oct-Nov. It has taken me a really long time to build up to the full dose, and although I never have had any systemic bad reactions, I have had lots of itchy arms with bruising and a welt at the injection site. YMMV, Julie

The only cake I've ever had come close to falling was a cake that I baked, doweled, and then froze. Evidently, as the cake thawed, the dowels became a bit wiggly in their holes. Yikes! :eek: As long as your icing recipe is non-perishable, you can bake a day ahead and just leave them in boxes in a cool room. If you're not sure about your icing recipe, you can still do it a couple of days ahead and keep in the fridge. Baking the cake ahead and freezing is also great, just don't do the dowels ahead of time and then put the cakes in the freezer. Do the dowels when you take the cakes out. You may have to use a small mallet to pound in the dowels if the cakes are frozen. ~J~

You already got great advice, I just wanted to add a bit more details. You can also use other things as support: chopsticks leftover from a dinner out, heavier-duty drinking straws (mostly for the lighter cakes), or dowels that you can buy at the hardware store or a home center. The chopsticks are nice-heavy duty and usually free. The dowels are very nice because you can be very specific about what suze you want. Both of those supports can be cut with sharp pruning shears or a sharp serrated knife or a hacksaw. You take the length of dowel, push it in the cake at each corner where the upper cake will sit. Mark the dowel where the top sticks out level with your frosting on the bottom cake. Carefully pull the dowel out, and cut it to the mark. Make 4 more pieces that same exact length, and then push one into the same spot (but not the same exact hole) you used for measuring the depth of the first dowel. I usually put on in the center also, just in case the board your upper cake is on starts to sag. Once the dowels are in place, you drop the upper cake into place. Do this for each cake you're stacking. One question I have though...I usually stack large cakes on-site so that I don't have to try and lift/transport a huge cake all at once. This requires finishing the borders around the edges of each cake on-site as you stack them. You can dowel each cake before you leave the house, but finish them when you arrive at the party location. It's also easier to serve the cake this way, but I'll tell you about stacking the cake before moving it, just in case you have to go that route. You'd do everything already described, and then you'd take a long dowel, sharpen the end with a pencil sharpener (or whittle it to a sharp point). Then you stand on a chair and pound one long length of dowel through all of the cakes after they're stacked. This sounds really hard, and sometimes it is, but this way the stacked cakes cannot slide from side to side in the car. When you want to serve the cake, it's a bit harder, because you can't just lift each cake off, but you've got to do that center dowel if you stack the cakes before you go. If you have to do the center dowel, make sure you make the cake ahead enough that you can chill it thoroughly in the fridge before you have to move it. I find that having the cake and icing chill after you've stacked it helps the whole thing to be a bit more stable. Oh, btw, if your cakes are pretty big, you'd want to use a dowel that's a size or two up from the diameter of a pencil. As for the cake boards, you've got a choice to make there too. If I'm stacking on-site I like to use foam-core board instead of cardboard. It's much sturdier than the cardboard. If you're stacking the cake ahead of time (at home) you need to use cardboard because that's the way you can pound the dowel through the whole cake. It is important to cover the cardboard with waxed paper or butcher paper (my fav) because uncovered cardboard can either 1.) impart an unusual taste to your cake; or 2.) soften up from the moisture and make your cake unstable. I know this probably sounds like a lot to follow, but it's just a step-by-step thing. You'll be fine! I've done dozens of stacked cakes, and not ever had one fall. Okay, one was close, but still....a stacked 4 tier buttercream-frosted cake out in the sun in 104* weather? (picture me begging..."but you said the cake table would be in the shade!!"):001_huh: Make sure you take lots of pictures when you're done, and maybe even as you make the cake (it's fun to look back). -and let us know how it went too! ~J~

I really hate my current hand mixer. It's a bit bulky, and I hate wrapping up the cord every time I want to use it. Do you all not mind wrapping the cord? The models that have the best reviews are not cordless, so I guess I should just suck it up about wrapping the cord. ~J~ p.s. What do YOU want for Mother's Day?

Do I need the whisk for beating large batches of eggs, etc?

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I am so glad that you're not offended, and so glad that you are finding your way in all of this. It appears from the conversation you posted that you are all able to deal with things that come up with good humor. I think that rather than beating him about the head, he should forfeit something really important and good....like chocolate? Yeah...that's it...I think I'd require compensation in good chocolate! :D Blessings, Julie

Update: We are still doing the soaks. There are no red streaks, and though it hurts a bit when she pushes on it, I think that's because of the tender-looking new skin that is now exposed because the blister popped. There's still a little bit of pus during the soaks, but it's not looking really swelled up anymore. I was feeling pretty negligent for not noticing sooner and taking her to the doc, but I think I'm gonna let myself off the hook now that it looks like her toe will probably survive! Thanks! Julie

When I was in school some kids were secretly passing around a copy of Judy Blume's book, Wifey. It was probably the closest to porn I'd ever seen. Honestly, it's been about 25 years since I read that book, and I still remember scenes in it that make me blush. ~J~

Truthfully, I wouldn't have found it strange at all, but I would have had dh do the calling/arrangements. ~Julie~

I'm SO sorry that happened to you!:eek: I'm also glad that the IM can be gone as quickly as it arrived, if it's not working well for you. Can I ask one more thing, very gently and gingerly? One of my ds's had (past tense) a problem with anxiety. In our debate about how to best help him, one of the standards was whether the anxiety was severe enough that it kept him from enjoying/engaging in daily activities. In my ds's case, his fears and discomfort were indeed keeping him from things that would otherwise be enjoyable. (very gently here...) Is it possible that a little help or counseling could help you to get past some of the discomfort? What you describe in terms of avoidance seems like it may be interfering with your daily activities. Please forgive me if I'm intruding or misreading the situation. Blessings, Julie p.s. When we see Monk's brother on tv, don't we all pretty much assume he would benefit from some help to get past his fears?

What I really want to do is bury my head in the sand.... What I will probably do is the cotton ball thing today and then see if it's any improved tomorrow, then call the doc. I read about ingrown toenails before I posted the first time, but could not decide if that was really the problem because the top edge of her nail is clearly visible--it's just a problem on the side of the nail. I don't think the nail has been improperly cut, but dd has probably been wearing shoes that are too small. I'll have to check on that today. It's one of the things that falls between the cracks sometimes. Unless one of the kids tells me their shoes are too small, I forget to check! That thing with going to the doctor sounds nasty. If any of you are pray-ers, would you please pray that home-care things will work for this one? Thanks a bunch, Julie

Here's what I would try: Lay the cake pan on a rack and drape it with a hot towel for a few minutes. Grab the rack and the cake pan together and give it a really hard WHACK on the counter. Repeat the WHACKING as necessary. As long as you hold the rack very firmly against the cake pan, you can actually give it a pretty big bang. Then lift the pan off (hopefully!) leaving the cake on the rack. Best of luck, Julie :001_smile: p.s. Hopefully you've already loosened the cake all the way around the sides of the pan...

My dd10 has what I think is an ingrown toenail. I don't think it's the top edge of the nail, but it's along the side of her big toenail. Over the course of a week or so, it's developed, grown, pussed, popped open like a blister(then she picked off the loose skin on the blister), and now her toe just looks awful. We've been doing epsom salt soaks, and at this point she says it really doesn't hurt very much, it just looks bad. Was I supposed to take her to the doctor for this? I've never had an ingrown toenail before, and I didn't realize it would be this bad! Do I take her to the doctor? Am I supposed to be doing something other than the soaks?:bigear: Somebody, please, just tell me what I'm supposed to do... Thanks, Julie

Sorry, Scarlett. I truly meant to say it gently, as per my original post. Kristine clearly hoped that we would somehow sympathize and validate the situation, but I just can't do that with a clear conscience. While I feel terrible that she's in this position, it really is stealing, even if we tiptoe around that by calling it "giving it back to the bank" or using other euphemisms that really mean the same thing, "deciding for the sake of comfort to not pay what we owe." I'm also reacting to a private message from Kristine, which was...a little unpleasant. I have nothing to gain from offending Kristine, other than really *really* hoping her personal ethics are such that she will be able to examine in her own heart, whether what she's proposing is in keeping with the person she wants to be, and the example she wants to set for the people (both big and small) around her. Truly, I didn't mean to offend, and I will step aside so as not to offend further... My apologies to all if I've been needlessly rude, Julie

Kristine, I'm surprised about the strength of your defensiveness. People have lived in *much* worse situations than your old house, and even done it with contentment and a fair amount of joy. It's just plain selfish to say that you're absolutely not going back to the old house, even knowing that you're stealing money by doing so. I understand where you are. I had 5 children in a house that was 1000 square feet, and we lived there for more than 10 years. I really do understand the desperation. Still, I wouldn't steal in order to provide a more "comfortable" home for myself. Nobody here attacked you, but your reaction was very strong. It seems possible that you have some defensiveness that is shielding you from the guilt you would feel later on from doing something you know probably isn't a great choice where personal ethics are concerned. I will indeed be praying for your old house to sell, but I'll also be praying that after you've had some time to think about the posts here, that you'll be a bit more open to another perspective. Hoping and praying for God's best for you, Julie

In fact, I'd actually move out of the bigger home and back into the old in order to avoid foreclosure. The practical reasons that people have mentioned are all valid, but truthfully, I wouldn't do it because it seems a bit dishonorable. In order for me to be more comfortable/in a larger & nicer home I'll just not pay what I agreed to pay? I don't think so. Have FIL sell the nicer home (which may sell faster, no?) and stick with your original agreement to pay for the home you bought in the first place. I realize this might be unpopular, and I'm only telling you what I think because you asked for input... I hope it all works out in such a way that you can do the right thing *and* be comfortable! :) ~Julie~

Hi Scarlett! Usually (as is the case on our farm) zoning regulations only allow a certain amount of dwellings per parcel. Maybe that's why they have to tear down the old in order to build the new. Blessings, Julie