War can also work for subtraction and multiplication. Division's tough if you're not into fractions yet.

Side note, there was one state that was so terrified of giving gays ANY rights that they passed a law and overrode the govenor's veto that banned ALL legal contracts between members of the same sex. That meant that I couldn't buy a house with my mother, go into business with a sister or have a Medical Power of Attorney for a female relative. But my dh could because he was of the opposite sex. I don't know if that law's still around, but that's the extremes some will go to.

Another thing about BC/BS, and I assume other major insurers. If you go with a doctor or medical provider who is part of the plan, BC/BS can really lower the initial cost of the service or medicine. Not always, but I've recieved bills where one shot had a retail value of $1200 and the price was knocked down to about $6-700. That alone reduced my co-pay by about $120. Sometimes paying more up front pays big dividends in the end.

A heads up about insurance. The insurance company will modify their policies to fit the company's desires and what the state requires. Also the company will often self-insure and only hire the insurance company to admisister the plan. This way some state requirements can be side stepped. I discovered this when I sat in on these discussions when my company was renewing the health insurance policy. BTW, my family also has Blue Cross Blue Shield and find that it's very good, (through my dh's former employer (retired). Another friend had BCBS through a different employer and she had more hassles dealing with the same diagnosis, treatment and doctor though BCBS would pay up. I should also add that both us paid far more per month for family coverage, which does affect the insurance benifits.

I had to check where you live, because we used to have a white buck that would graze near our home.

But denying them the right to family health care benifits, the right to survivor pension rights, the right to family income tax breaks, the right to inheritance tax breaks and even the right to sit by their death bed and make funeral arraigements (unless a seperate legal document is signed) IS beating them over the head. Especially since these are things not Biblically related but "Ceasar" related. ("Grant unto Ceasar the things that are Ceasar's.....') I prefer to err on the side of love. I'm not wild about homosexual marriage, but I feel that they do need some form of legal protection to rights that heterosexual couples now take for granted. BTW, it wasn't too long ago that widows could lose everything because most states granted all jointly held property to the husband's estate and the widow had to pay inheritance tax on the things she helped pay for and worked for. It wasn't pleasant for the widow and the minor children so why should we insist on the same problems for the less conventional families.

We have both recessed and track lighting. Many of the recessed lights originally were half moons to focus light on the built in bookcases. We've removed the half moons ad use them for general lighting. We've also found compact flourescent bulbs which keep the heat gains down. The only problems we've had with the cans breaking free of the ceiling was in the kitchen, mostly under the baths where we've had plumbing problems. I like the looks of them, and how you can plan the layout to control lighting in certain areas -- pools of light, one part of the room dimmer than the other, but they aren't as efficient as surface mounted lights. The big advantageous of track lighting over recessed is that you can move and tilt the cans for temporary useage. We don't move the cans, but will occasionally change the tilt. The problem is that they do dangle, taking up head room, but so do surface mounted lights. (We have low ceilings and we're not short) I have always liked the idea of indirect lighting, but our ceilings just aren't high enough.

One of the best suggestions I got from a parenting class was to schedule just one half hour a week doing something THE CHILD wants to do. It didn't require fun trips out. In fact we often did that, but usually I selected it, based on ds's likes. When the child makes the selection, he feels like his desires are truly considered AND he feels like he has some control over something. Very important for my ds who does butt heads with me. Often my ds just wanted to play a board game at home. Even though my ds was an only child like yours, it made a big improvement in our relationship. When I let it slide, things started to deteriorate. I still haven't reestablised it on a regular bases, but I am insisting on more family things which help. BTW, he's 15 so we're also dealing with the normal desire to start to seperate as well. My advice, don't try for big splashy things. You don't need to spend money, or spend a lot of time or leave home even. What you do need to do, is to spend TIME on a regular basis where the child gets to decide what to do. Schedule it on the calandar so it's not allowed to slide. That also give your child something to anticipate for when you can't focus on her whenever she wants you to. It also gives her time to think about what to do. Only, and only at the beginning would I give her a long list of ideas of what to do. BTW, you never cancel the half hour for bad behavior outside of the time period (you may stop the time for bad behavior DURING the half hour). If for some reason you can't make the original schedule, reschedule it ASAP.

I know 2 families that were planning on having larger families until child #2 came along. Child #1 in both cases was a boy, a nice, quiet boy. # 2 with both families was a rip-roaring, snorting girl. BTW, one family did have a full time nanny for the girl, but even that wasn't enough support to convince the couple to try for #3. And I keep reading that boys are more active and physical than girls. :001_huh:

Yep, the speedos don't bother me, but a direct view up baggy, more "modest" trunks would. It may be perverse of me, but I think nudity would bother me less.

I voted sometimes because there are evenings that I just don't make it till ds's normal bedtime. Sometimes I send ds to bed, because it's his bedtime and dh and I are headed upstairs at the same time. and sometimes, like tonight, I'm awake long after everyone else is asleep.

Try Naturalizer. There may be a problem because their sandals don't normally come in as wide a range as the regular shoes, but they do come with adjustable straps that make up for it. A second problem might be that selection is limited because they've been running sales. But now that you've been forewarned, they are a possibility. And they do have some cute silver sandals this year.

Sorry, but I've sat with some college boys who would talk in the same rude manner about whatever girls were coming down the cafeteria line. It didn't matter if they were dressed in jeans and tee shirt, a modest dress or a swimsuit with a tee shirt cover-up. These guys, and one in particular, would make comment. And usually it was derogatory. Being called hot would have been a compliment. Don't worry, though. The girls at the table took care of it. We started talking the same way about the guys. It only took one meal, and we never heard it again.

I remember a sermon that said extra-marital sex in the Old Testament was a sin against the husband, because he couldn't be sure that he was the father of his sons. And immortality at that time was believed to be a function of having biological sons. A man lived on through his sons. Daughters didn't count. I think that pre-marital sex at that time was considered a sin against the woman's father, but I'm not real sure on that. It may have been more acceptable.

do you know what you've just done to all future vent posts? I don't think I'll ever be able to look at one the same way now. :D

And I was just thinking that the old standby of the Sears and Roebuck catelog is no longer availble. :D....... Or would Lands End's catalog count? (pun was just a fortunate occurance)

Ouch

Originally Posted by runninmommy I weigh 105 Not me, I was still short when I weighed that tiny amount. :D

Now I'm being serious. My previous comments on this post were strictly for fun. I typically think all extremes need to be cautioned. When extreme views are held, the valid points of others are often ignored. I've learned from a lot of living that usually there are valid concerns and points to form most extreme view points. I think good decisions are often best made by considering the points of both extremes. You may not change your view on modesty, but you may make sure that modesty isn't allowed to get in the way of health. That's good. My dgm didn't have that balancing view. That could have cost my sister and me our lives. As well as an aunt and a male cousin.

It's simple. Explain why you need them expedited and select the right states to be born in, married in or lived in. IN and MD are good states. Even though we needed special seals and stamps for an international adoption, they had fast turn arounds. One day for MD because I could drive to the gov't offices with the check and 4 days for IN because I needed to mail a check immediately before April 15th. I won't name the bad state we had to deal with, but dh was never allowed to belittle my homestate again. :D

I once had a woman tell me and a mother to be that the only problem with undisciplined children was that they hadn't been disciplined and, yes, spanked enough. Her adult children did grow up into fine adults. She also used love and reasoning with her dc. But her dc also didn't have food allergies that made healthy foods act like oppiates in the blood stream and other problems. And she rejected all evidence that her brand of discipline wouldn't work for all children. Sorry, but I've seen too many dc that couldn't be reasoned with until their underlying problems were resolved or at least identified. Then the discipline could be adapted for the child. And your style won't always work, as well reasoned and logical as it is. I know, I've tried it. We can also look at different styles of dog training. Some breeds or idividuals are "hard" and respond well to harder training methods. I'm not talking about harsh or cruel training techiques, just normal choke collars and prongsand jumping all over them. Some dogs need these techiques just to get their attention. But that same technique can be highly detrimental to softer dogs. A totally different attitude and approach is needed for these dogs. Some times the soft dog shuts down, and a trainer can easily see the problem. But sometimes a soft dog will growl and snap at the handler for using these techniques. And he is misread by the trainer as needing even harsher techniques. Sorry, I had it happen with one of my dogs. I started with a "soft" trainer and had good results. But because of the timing of a move, I switched trainers. Unfortunately I got a hard trainer and saw how my dog reacted. And the hard trainer would belittle the "soft" trainers. And she blamed me for not applying the corrections properly, because it couldn't that her technique was wrong for my dog and me. :tongue_smilie: She would have ruined my soft dog in no time had I stayed with her. I switched back and got my sweet dog back. Lesson, not one method will work for all. And often defiance is a result of overly harsh discipline for that individual. I've seen it happen with dogs and I've seen it happen with kids.

But yet other cultures have don't problems with bare body parts that would get people thrown in jail here. The men don't seem to have hang-ups about it. They are taught from an early age that that's just a normal body and normal dress (or undress :D) These cultures also usually have a better acceptance of nursing as a natural function. Maybe it's not so much a visual attraction as a forbidden attraction for men.

Yes, there are those who automatically condemn those who spank. Perhaps it's because they've seen cases where it's gotten out of hand. Perhaps it's for other reasons. But many others on that thread, myself included, question it's *automatic* application. Spanking, despite what another mother has told me, doesn't always work, but some think that all that means is that you need to spank more. I've learned the hard way, that's not true.

I think defiance problems are the worst sort of problems to punish or discipline. The child, in true defiance mode, is looking for a confrontation. Too often the parent, and that includes me, is willing to give it to them. But defiance is best handled by reducing the desire to defy and teaching the child how to handle disagreements.

There are times when my ds would rather I wear a brown paper bag over my head. Or else he wants to wear the bag. Parents are such an embaressment! :lol::lol::lol: BTW, I don't wear bikinis, or swimsuits now. If I ever figure out how to go into the water with certain med appliances, I will wear them again, rarely, but I will use the hot tub! Oh, and my ds does know what my unadorned body looks like. Sometimes he has to help me with my medical devices when my dh isn't available. It's only a body.