REST! Your kids will learn to step up to the plate, or not, but you need to be well rested before going in. It's difficult to rest properly after surgery. How mobile do the doctors think you'll be? Can you sit up on your own the first week or so? Can you do stairs? What sort of chair will properly support your back? You may need to rent special equipment, like a hospital bed or a reclining chair that lifts you up, for a while. Also a table or two to hold your entertainment "junk". At times I've also found a grabber to pick things of the floor helpful. I've never had back surgery, but abdominal surgery is surprisingly debilitating. Even a masectomy that doesn't cut into muscles can make simple movement difficult. Because hospitals are hard to sleep in, get an eye mask to block the light and possibly ear plugs. I'm always forgetting this. Before you leave the hospital, make sure everyone in your family that's big enough to help you sit up and down learn how to lift and lower you. If done improperly, they can hurt their backs or drop you and hurt you. Tomorrow, rest and do something fun. You've taken care of your family for years. Now it's their turn. They just might surprise you. Finally, rest well tonight and good luck tomorrow.

I think this works on several levels. 1) If we try to be well groomed, it affects how we feel about ourselves. We feel inside that we are worth the extra effort and that shows in how we carry ourselves. 2) When we carry ourselves well, show we have selfconfidence, others respond to us better. 3) When I was overweight by a lot, I didn't worry about my appearance. I lost weight and bought new clothes and it helped my attitude and others'. Yet I have known others who were very overweight, still dressed with flair and confidence and people responded. 4)What we wear often sends a message we don't mean to. A couple of years ago, my ds discovered hoodies. He'd go around with the hood up and his hands jambed in his pockets. If I didn't know him, I would have avoided him. He looked like trouble. Being forced to wear a suit to a wedding suddenly changed his attitude, partially because of how others react. He now wears his suit to church without any prompting, but the other kids are still wearing jeans and other super casual clothing. When I 1st out of college, I had a cute skirt and blouse I wore all the time. Then I had a sales rep assume I was a brainless, secretary (sorry to the secretaries) speak condensendingly to me. He had no idea that his paycheck depended on my being happy. That was the last day I didn't wear a suit to work.

That's grounds for divorce! :D

We are now because dh just retired last year. But we were prepared for it because it was planned for. And I think that that is what Suzy Orman was wanting people to do. Prepare while they still have a bit of a cushion. Think about how they can cut back and have time to do some cuts and modifications. And by cutting back now, they can start building their savings. Dh always insisted that while we were DINKS (double income, no kids), we live on one salary only and buy a house that 50% of the local population could afford. As a result, I could easily afford to quit my job when ds arrived and pay private school tuition, therapy for him and now medical for me. We did have an advantage in that we were older when we got married and ds didn't come for many years after our marriage. But we could have lived high on the hog as many other DINKS did and not be comfortable now. The problem is that most people contemplating her advice don't have the time advantage we had because it was our early decisions that made it possible for us to be in the situation we are now. We did have rough patches along the way. But Dh's early decision to do what Suzy is advocating is what makes things comfortable now.

I enjoyed it, but I couldn't figure out why it's still in print. I wo't require it of my ds.

Christina, A plug for my favorite economics book. You may know about it. It's The Worldly Philosophers by Heilbron (sp). It's can only be used as a supplement, but it traces the history of economic thought through short bios of the major economists from Smith on down. It's easy reading, so should have a higher completion rate. There are no economic nuts and bolts to wade through.

It's CPO Science, http://cpo.com. CPO specializes in the physical sciences. I've used two of their 3 middle school texts and love them. They teach the basics before jumping into more complex issues, and tie other sciences into the one being studied. Their definitions and graphics are clear and easy to understand. For middle school, they don't overwhelm the student with excessive info. They determine what is needed and focus on that. However the last few chapters may seem stuck on as they're trying to meet CA requirements. But it's still well done. I have't seen the high school texts yet.

A lot of CC's are reporting that they're swamped with applicants as adults are trying to get in to improve their job prospects. Combined with budget cuts for many CC's, many are having to limit enrollment. So as difficult as it is for high school students, it only makes sense that high school students are the first not to be admitted. It's still a bummer.

I'm still not real happy, but I've decided. I'm going with Exploring the Way Life Works, by Hoagland. It doesn't get bogged down in detail, so my ds can focus on the essentials. Yet it's short enough (350+ pages) that ds can select many areas to do additional research and I can beef up the areas I think need help. It also uses many analogies and tons of pictures to illustrate things. The book selects a variety of web sites to supplement the text. I like how the web sites include instructions on what to look for and often has questions to be answered. Each chapter mixes macro with micro biology. I'm not sure how that will work for ds. Will he become confused by constatly jumping in scale, or will it hold his interest because he's not interested in microbiology? The book is light on macro biology, but we can add that on easily. Another problem is that I think that some basic things are glossed over. Only a teacher's manual is available and it sounds like it's an expanded student text. It includes supplementary info, discussion questions and suggested lecture outlines. I haven't seen any samples. It costs about $77, and I'm not sure I want to spend the money. My favorite text is CPO's Focus on Life. Ds and I love the basic explanations, the graphic layout, and how everything is integrated. Unfortunately it's a middle school book and I think is too light for high school. So CPO will be used to supplement the basic text. End result, I have a lot of work to coordinate the texts and supplemental work. :tongue_smilie:

I second deer. I'm just surprised that they haven't cropped all of the plants.

But young kids don't have the best judgement in the world. So if the parent calls "stepping on my foot" or "taking my car" tattling, a young kid may consider complaining about being slugged as tattling and not report it. Then the child needs to learn how to deal with the little irritations of life. If you have a set list of questions to ask the child to do before coming back with a complaint, the child will learn techniques to smooth the social waters yet stand up for himself. And if the tattler is the one who actually started the problem, the adult can get the point across that the guilty party had better straighten up if he wants the other kids to not defend themselves.

:iagree:

This is why I feel that changing our attitudes about tattling is important. Instead of using this as a teaching opportunity in how to resolve conflict and compromise, the tattler is often scolded and called names by the adults. And before anyone starts saying we don't, on this thread alone I've read the term "snitch", "snitches end up in ditches", "tattletale" and "I hate tattletales". And I can't help but wonder if the reason the OP's sil wants her dc to tell her about the misbehavior of other children is because the SIL's parents ignored her requests for help because she was "tattling". If she was always ignored and not taught how to deal with problems, she may have overreacted in the opposite direction. She may not trust other adults to intervene when needed because her parents didn't. She just went to the other extreme. Now there are dc who do carry "tattling" too far, but that can be nipped in the bud by asking the right questions. But how much bullying occurs because adults don't like tattlers?

You're right, but there is a lot more to reenactments than refighting battles. Often times just a few reenactors will review the lifestyle and equipment of the soldiers. Some reenactors actually teach about medical care, both for the military and civilians. Some focus on food. I've also seen sections devoted to laundry, :glare: soap making and other aspects of daily life. Oftentimes no battle reenactment is scheduled with these demonstrations. And around here the reenactments take place generally on the actual battle fields, which can help you better understand what roll terrain and strategy played in how a battle fell out. What may seem strange is the number of reenactors specializing in the Roman empire or various times though the middle ages. OTOH, the state sport here IS jousting and the state flag is a mideval banner.

But they do use real amputation saws! The guy next to ds's gurney in the ER was in full Civil War regalia. He needed stitches after an almost successful amputation. :lol: (the shield stopping the saw slipped)

The states are required by federal law to provide therapy to all preschoolers. State law determines if therapy must be provided to non-public school students. I'm not sure where kidergarteners fall, probably age base. To ensure coverage, you must write requesting a evaluation and/or therapy and the schools have X days to respond. I don't know if the schools may *require* a special program. My ds was in 2 programs. One met 2x's/week for 45 min. The second school offered a morning pre-school program, but thought that his Montessori program was sufficient with supplemental ST. Your local school may be encouraging the preschool program because it covers the entire range of speech and language problems. ST even 2 x's /week, either doesn't cover the entire range of problems or progress can be very slow. And speech problems encompass far more than diction. First, can the child distinguish between sounds? This is often the true source of pronouciation problems. THen there are expressive and receptive language problems. Auditory memory problems can be helped as well as conversation and voice regulation. It might be worth having a full evaluation through the school and seeing what they recommend. Warning. If the school normally offers a complete language pre-school, the supplemental ST may skip everything except diction.

I agree that Williamsburg is the sort of place you want to go to more than once. To see it "all" in one trip doesn't give enough time to soak up the atmosphere, and you won't see it all anyway. If you can do only one trip, the advantage of going to Williamsburg first is that you've set the stage of visual images and societal standards to give background to STOW. And Williamsburg has a good introductory film to fill in the gaps. The recreated Jamestown (a state park) would have a similar impact, though it doesn't give as much of the historical story. The original Jamestown, a national park, would be better after studying the period, IMHO, as would the battlefields at Yorktown NP. The advantage of going to Williamsburg after studying the period is the the dc would be older and would retain and appreciate it more. However my choice would be to go multiple times if possible and let the kids play and soak up the atmosphere. Williamsburg was my ds's favorite playground in gradeschool and is still a big hit. And my ds's favorite school subject? History.

And salad dressing on the side too. My bil can't have white vinegar. We just get cider vinegar and oil for him.

And when you think that you have a good plan, layout it in masking tape full size and go through the motions of how you'll really use it. Do you plan on having two kids use the bathroom at the same time? have them pretend to do it with the elbows flying as they brush teeth and wash faces. For kitchens, maybe even get boxes to help you go through the senario.

Why do you think I've let my dh talk me out of moving for so long. And now we can't and the neighborhood has been bad for teen boys for a while.

My ds's primary grade school teacher gave me a different insight into tattling, that may help the general run of the mill stuff. Tattling is how kids of this age start learning about social norms and behaviors. However, the tattler is always asked "Did you ask him to stop? or share? or ......" If not, the child is sent back to work it out. Only if the problem can't be worked out with the return of one of the participants(or is dangerous), does the adult intervene. But looking at tattling as a way to learn about what is acceptable, changes the adult's attitude about it for the better. And the adult can better use it as a teaching moment. But when the adult asks for the tattling, there's problems. Maybe your sil might be resposive to an adult discussion on the purpose of tattling and using it as a teaching moment? Just had a thought. Did your sil grow up where she was figuratively thrown to the lions because the adults in her life brushed off her real problems as "tattling"? That may give you an opening to start discussions on how to handle it.

:iagree: And gun accidents were happening not just 20 years ago, when people might say discipline was breaking down. My mom talked about growing up with a boy that lost an eye because a friend was playing around with his BB gun, and this would have been in the 30's. BTW, I find it very ironic that there are so many rules and laws about taking my dog with me, even if I want him for protection, yet in many places people can carry concealed guns. They can even be carried into bars where judgement is often impaired. Yet I would trust my dog around kids in a heartbeat, even if they forgot how to behave. Why can't I take my dog with me??????

Have you and the other parents realized that you are training your dd's to accept whatever abuse a future boyfriend or husband might deal out? And women often are killed in the more violent situations, This situation is not a momentary blip that can be brushed over. It's across the board. And the parents are not only allowing the coach to intimidate their dd's, but also to intimidate them, the parents. How will the dd's learn to draw the line and get out of a bad relationship before it gets out of hand with this example their parents are setting? I'm all for letting teens make decisions, but this one needs the parents to step in and stop it NOW. Ideally you could talk to the other parents and let them see it from this viewpoint. Ideally you could also face the administration as a group to tell them either the coach goes, or we go in mass. But if you can't, you need to get your dd out now. Let her know that to stay in that situation may be setting her up to accept abuse later in life. And let her tell her friends this. I haven't read all the other posts, so it might have been mentioned already.

I grew up around old farm houses. My impression of them? Tons of wasted space. :lol: Super simple house plans tend to be rectangles or boxes. Old farmhouses tend to a series of tacked on rooms without organization.

I can't even imagine trying to do a sewing project with my ds! We may die over somethig simple like cooking or photography.