I bought my first pair last year - the professional clogs. I knew the minute I put them on that they were what I needed. My feet and legs had been aching constantly for months - starting the minute I got out of bed. My Danskos have really changed that, and they are the *only* shoes I can wear without hurting. Every once in a while I have gone to the Walking Store or another store that sells the best of the shoes for old ladies (smile) and ask if there isn't another brand that will feel as good but look cooler. Even though they sell other brands, I get the same answer, "for women who really love the Dansko clog, nothing else seems to feel as good." So if they aren't working for you, then maybe they just aren't the right thing for your feet. I will say that my sister is a nurse, and she says that while it's true a lot of nurses wear Danskos, she's been told they are great "standing" shoes but not the best "walking" shoes and that women tend to twist ankles in them. But I walk in mine all over and have never had a problem.

Heather, just hostess the way you always do! People will enjoy the difference and enjoy seeing how your entertainment style is different from theirs. At the very worst, they will get to feel superior:) We had this same problem in our first church as a married couple. DH was active duty and we lived on base. Everyone else was civilian and living in town in lovely old Southen homes. I did the best I could and once I just cooked and we ate around the fire place on the floor. It was fun. Just do whatever seems best to you and pray for each person by name before they come. Ask God to bless the gathering, and to take your mind off the particulars of hostessing.

Are you talking to me? Because I think I did say there should ususally be time for both. I just think that if it gets to where there *isn't* time for everything (and otherwise why talk about priorities?) homekeeping skills would definitely fall to second behind academics for me. But it's really part of making choices. Your kids are young, but you may find when they are teenagers that they have activities (sports, church, scouts) that take a huge amount of time. Or they may have part time jobs if you allow that. That's when prioritizing really becomes important, and some weeks there really isn't time for everything. Hopefully by then, though, they will have acquired some basic skills they can build on.

Yes, I get what you are saying and agree that our children need basic life skills. I absolutely agree. I just don't really see those as competing with time for homeschool. For me, it takes pretty much the homeschool day to teach Latin, math, grammar, music, writing etc. My kids do basic household chores, which does teach them certain life skills but I don't really consider that "school" - usually these tasks are performed before school or after, or during breaks. I really like teaching my boys to cook, but I don't think of it as "should we do algebra or cooking?" We WILL do the algebra. I think your sister is silly to called all stressed about a roast. I don't know how to cook one either because we rarely eat a big piece of meat like that, but I could do a quick internet search and tell you in 5 minutes what she basically needs to do. If she is incapable of finding that information for herself, I tend to think that's a matter of inclination, personality, or not having been taught how to get and use information - which is a different skill than the actually cooking. You know? In a way, I tend to think that's a character training issue more than a skill issue - which is NOT to say that she has a bad character, but it sounds like she's not self sufficient in this particular area, and she surely could be. Or maybe she doesn't own a computer - but even a general cookbook? But I'm quibbling. I do mostly agree with you. I do think that all parents - not just homeschooling parents, need to spend time with their children doing normal person stuff - teaching them how to do some of the things we do like balancing a checkbook, mowing the lawn, cooking, ironing. But even so, I do think I do a good job with those things having not really been taught. But maybe you wouldn't think I am doing as good a job a I think I am, lol.

I just want to say that my mother's theory with her three daughter was that we would have the rest of our lives to cook and clean, and she taught us nothing about those things except by setting a good example - and she was a good housekeeper and cook, though she also had household help. And you know, of the three of us are all reasonably good cooks. We all cook from scratch. Two of us are good housekeepers and one doesn't really care that much about the house but can make it look lovely if a MIL is visiting:) Two of us don't have great places for gardening, but one has a great garden and eats vegetables all summer and freezes for the winter. One can sew, two haven't bothered. I'm not saying not to teach your daughter to cook and clean and garden. But I do think it was fine for all of us to learn those skills as we needed them. My parents made sure we all had very good educations, and even though two of us are stay at home Moms, I wouldn't want to sacrifice *any* of that education for housekeeping skills. So personally, I think you can teach your daughter to diagram sentences, read Latin, enjoy great books and poetry, and master algebra, and she will still have time to learn to cook and clean. But if you are going to sacrifice anything, I personally would sacrifice the housekeeping/cooking skills. That's just my experience, though, and I know that view isn't popular, and I know some people never really figure out how to run a house, but I think that's partly temperment and just not making it a priority.. On the other hand, I would make sure to teach her great financial management skills. I would teach budgeting, help her understand investing, teach her about insurance choices, banking, creating savings, saving for retirement, living on a budget, and the dangers of debt. For sure.

My favorite part was the part about how teens perceive arguing with parents as *building* the relationship and how it can be a sign of respect - that the kid really needs to hear the parent's view and win the parent's approval rather than just like. It makes me see somewhat differently the dynamic with my oldest son - with whom we had many many drawn out arguments, and with whom I would say I have a good degree of emotional closeness. My least favorite part was the close up photos of children that reminded me of the movie "The Bad Seed" lol. No smiling children?

I'm not as disciplined as you are, but I do like things to look nice all the time, and I do think housekeepers aren't as useful in those circumstances. When I had one, the children were small and keeping up with housework was more difficult. She would come in and put fresh linens on all the bed (I stripped them) clean all the bathrooms, mop all the floors, vacuum, dust etc. Nothing that you aren't doing as part of your everyday life, but I loved having the whole house clean at once. But for me, I feel like I have to do all these things pretty frequently anyway, and that's why I eventually stopped having one. Other than making up bed (which is a once a week thing) the rest of these chores have to be done more often than once a week when you have young children, so I got to where she would leave one day, and the next day I would be back to scrubbing a floor that someone spilled on. It didn't feel like the best use of money. Now I treat my kids like hired help, that that works:)

No because (1) it's NOT theirs (2) I'm not sure we will get one (3) if we do, I understand it's an advance on next year's refund. So no. But hey, I give them free room and board, and for that they can be grateful:)

I have a friend whose daughter lost both legs to it:(

Yes, I know it's supposed to be irritating. It was just entirely too effective, lol. Plus, I don't really think *any* women truly behave that way, but then as I said, I have only boys so maybe I am unrealistic. But it seemed like high school drama class overkill to me. I see I am more or less alone in this though, lol. I feel like a WTM loner:)

I have no idea what my Pediatrician thinks of homeschooling - which I guess means he at least doesn't strong object. I'm not sure why I should really care what he thinks, though, as long as he doesn't harrass me about it. It's not really a pediatrician issue, in my opinion. I care about his views on health and safety. His views on homeschooling aren't really important to me, though obviously if he made himself obnoxious about it I would care about that.

Is there something terribly wrong with DH and I? I know you all love this, and we thought it was so horrible we couldn't get past the first 15 minutes. I love the novel but ..... Our major objects? - Terrible music - annoying music that played throughout the first scenes. - Bad camera work - it was shot like a film from the 50's - "Maureen O'Sullivan as Elizabeth Bennet." - The shreiking of the sisters was unbearable. DH couldn't stay in the room, lol. Maybe because we don't have daughters, but do girls really sound like this? I'm so sad. I was really looking forward to watching it together and we just couldn't stomach it. Is it just me/us?

I love how they look. I am a white woman with baby fine hair so obviously they aren't an option for me, lol, but I always think they look really cool.

I think you are wasting your time trying to talk him into acknowledging that he knows what is and isn't disrespectful. From now on, let him figure it out himself. Tell him during a neutral time (like a family meeting) that you aren't going to fuss about this anymore. That from now on, when *you* think something is disrespectful you will point it out and he gets 5 seconds to apologize and then change. If he's disrespectful again or argues or demands explanations, then impose a penalty. Tell him that from now on, you won't try to defend and explain your position that it's rude. Tell him right up front that different parents have different standards and that they are totally arbitrary and subjective, but that the standard in your house will be set by you and DH and by no one else. Period. Then address rudeness every time. Every. single. time. That doesn't mean always punish it, but always always point it out and never get into a debate about it. Prepare yourself to say 10 million times "Yes, lots of people wouldn't think that was rude. But in our house, it's considered rude." You will make yourself totally and completely insane if you decide that you can talk him out of rudeness. You can't. Some kids just will always let their mouths get the best of them. Address it, but don't be surprised by it. See it coming, visualize being spoken to rudely and how to handle it (calm, matter of fact, refusing to engage in debate) and be ready for lots and lots of that.

I am terrible about losing things and my husband is not. He's also better about remember dates, appointments, names etc. Finding things and keeping track of things is not one of my strengths, and it adds a huge amount of stress to my life. However, I think a certain amount of the "do we have milk" as one stares into the fridge containing 3 gallons on the bottom shelf where they always are stored, is laziness. Really. I don't care about what the research says. If you ask your wife "do we have milk" without having really looked first, it's arguably because you are lazy and want her to do the tedious "looking around" work. soooooooo I refuse to indulge. My standard response for this kind of things is "Scan!" meaning ..."Scan the fridge and see for yourself if we have milk." I do think my husband and sons would love it if I would become the "finder of all things." Not because they actually lose things that much - I'm the master of that! - but because they could save time not having to really look. I won't do it, and consequently I think they are reasonably good at finding things themselves. I'm sure it's true that women and men's brains perform that function differently, but I won't jump up and find things for them when I am pretty sure they haven't really really looked.

Yes, I will pray for you - both for your illness and for clarity about where DH should look for a job. ((((VH))))))

I'm thinking that 1) Cutting and dying your hair both do make women look younger, in general. However, it's interesting to me that looking younger is such a great goal. Why is that? Why don't we want to look older so that we look wiser, more mature and have greater social status? Oh. Right. Because in our culture, older women are marginalized and discounted. That bothers me a lot more than the idea that there is a conspiracy to get women to cut their hair in the first place. 2) I'm conflicted about the idea that beauty supposedly equals power and cutting your hair as a woman apparently means reduced power. I think that's what you are getting at. Why is a woman's power dependant on sexuality? I don't feel mine is - neither within my home, my marriage or my workplaces, when I work. Regardless of what I do, I will in fact become truly old someday and I think that ought to give me MORE power not less, but it won't of course. I'm not going to keep my hair really long though, in a pathetic attempt to be a 70 year old bombshell. 3. There is short and then there is short. I personally don't like super short haircuts on most women. But I also dislike really long hair on most women - especially as they age. Most women really do look better with hair about shoulder length (at the longest) at some point. In my opinion. 4. My husband likes my hair sort of long. But he hates finding shed hair all over the place, and I hate it too. When we were first married he made a joke about the hair all over the bathroom, and I was mortified. I guess having had no brothers, I felt really bad about this. So I cut my hair super short. I'd never done that before and I didn't really like it, nor did DH. 5. I'm thinking of Nora Ephram saying in "I'm Not Happy With my Neck" that the really great thing about dying is that you never have to fix your hair again:)

No - my name is Dana. My sister and husband call me Danestress and I don't really know why I started using it on line! Love Great Danes, though! I have a Belgian Sheepdog named Homer who is my current guardian.

I was leaving my ten year olds alone for quick trips - like I would run one to his swim team practice and come right back so the other would be there for 20 minutes or so alone. And I felt fine with that - my sons are reasonable calm and I feel like I can count on them to follow rules. However, there have been several break-ins in my neighborhood recently - mostly into garages and cars. I do worry that I will leave and one of the many workmen in the area (people tending lawns, blowing leaves, doing repairs - it seems like there is a constant stream of them in this neighborhood because apparently we are the only people who will cut their own lawn or rake their own leaves) and attempt to get into the garage. I just don't want to take the risk that that will happen to our house when a kid is here alone.

The Carolina Raptor Center which is just north of Charlotte is great. Most of the aviaries are outside, so plan it for a day when they weather is not too bad. But it's really a great place and my boys and I go at least twice a year. It's pleasant. Don't miss this if your kids have any interest at all in birds or wildlife. Near it is Latta Plantation which has an old plantation house and grounds. Annexed to it is a nature preserve and a nature center with some reasonably interesting exhibits. There is also an equestrian center where you could rent horses, though maybe not with the very young children. I like visiting Kings Mountain National Military Park, which is in Kings Mountain NC, about half an hour away. There was an important Revolutionary War battle fought there. You can walk about a 2 mile fully paved path (yes, strollers are fine) and it's well marked to explain the battle. I find it a lovely place to be, it gives me a great appreciation for the sacrifices of the battle, and for children who are too young to appreciate the history, it's still a nice walk. Nearby in Gastonia is the Shiele Museum. I checked to see if they have any interesting exhibits for you, and they do! Check it out here: https://www.schielemuseum.org/ They also have really neat outdoor exhibits including a Catawba Indian village and a part of the park that shows how Stone Age people lived. Very good way to spend a day! You can take the kids rock climbing at the National Whitewater rafting center. My Ten year old LOVE this. We are members at Discovery Place, though I don't really love it. It need a major rehab! I really like the Mint Museum of Art, and it's free to the public on Tuesday nights. I have other ideas but my husband wants my attention. Feel free to email me at Danestress@carolina.rr.com!

I'm only afraid when I don't have a dog - like when we come back from vacation and have to get him from the Kennel. My dog sleeps by my bed, and the dog before him did too. That feels like a personal body gaurd to me. It's not like guns can't kill a dog, but a dog will alert you quickly and that makes me feel safe. A snoring husband doesn't make me feel that much safer, honestly. He's big and strong and capable, but the dog is where my confidence rests.

I camp with my kids alone all the time, but not with five kids under 10. That sounds like hard work. But I don't feel unsafe camping. I think the mall parking lot is probably more dangerous than most camp grounds. I do think, though, that the "potty in the middle of the night" thing could be a real problem. How would you feel about having to leave your kids to take a three year old to the bathroom? That's the one thing I would worry about. However, I do think traveling with kids is a great experience and Mom's that camp are fun Moms:) My kids adore it!

I am not sure I follow your logic. Can't one read Dickens, love Dickens, conclude that he is both a product of the attitudes of his day AND an anti-Semetic, and still enjoy his work? I think I could. I read a lot of literature that reflect views of women as less able, less intelligent ..... just less. And I still LIKE some of that literature.

Thank you all so much! I really appreciate your help. I always assumed we would go on to Henle, but when I was looking at it on a comparison chart, it was for kids in high school, and while my children are bright, they arn't doing high school work in 5th grade! But I'm glad to hear that taken slowly and moving consistently, it's working for many of you - I'll order it early and spend plenty of time reviewing it before we start next year. Dana

I bet this has been discussed ad nauseum, but since I can't see the old board, I hope a few of you won't mind helping me with this. My boys will be in 5th grade next year. We will finish LCII this year. I have no Latin backgroud myself, so I would like to move into a Latin program that provides lots of help for the teacher in terms of worksheets and answer keys - even if they aren't presented in worksheet form. I can't invent that wheel. However, I don't want something too "Latin light." I am committed to this. Can we review what the options are for us and what others have used in their third year of Latin Study? Thanks so much! Dana