You know, as irritating as it would be, I am not sure that I would need to know who stuck his finger in the butter or nibbled a muffin. I think I would content myself saying, "Gosh, someone nibbled the muffin. I hope whoever did that won't do it again, because it really makes me not want to bake special treats anymore." And let it go. I realize this won't solve every problem. There will still be times when you actually really do feel you want to know who did something and to punish them. But I probably wouldn't get that invested in these small things. If I knew who put his finger in the butter, I would probably just say, "Gross. Please don't do that again." I wouldn't punish it but would just state my objection. So I might as well just say it to the group.

Maybe you should drive him to and from school. I know with my oldest, who always attended school, the bus ride seemed to always be when kids acted their worst and had least supervision. It's very very hard to parent a child who is not well liked by his peers. I am terribly sorry you are going through that.

Is any candidate on record saying they support the *entire* NEA agenda? If so, that would really concern me. Parts of it, I'm sure most of us would support. Parts of it, clearly I don't. But I'm not actually concerned that the NEA will successful get some kind of national "all homeschooling parents must have a teaching certificate" law passed. If I thought that was a possibility I would be very worried indeed. But for now, I honestly am much more concerned about the economy, the environment, and the war.

My husband is supportive in terms of finances and emotional/spiritual support. He also plays tennis and swims with our boys and is starting to teach art. But for the most part, I am the sole academic instructor. My parents used to be a great support. They are still cheerleaders, but lately they have needed a lot from me (Dad has Alzheimer's Disease) and so I am more supporting them then they other way around - in terms of actually doing things. They are still great cheerleaders for me and pay for some extras for the children, and are really loving and WANT to help. I have lovely friends who are supportive of me as a person. They don't really do anything special to support homeschooling, but it's always great for any Mom to know who she will call when she needs someone to watch the kids. Lately a few of my friends have been wonderful about having my kids over when I need to be with my father so Mom can get out and do something.

I would agree if there were any way any of us would know who she is talking about. Assuming there isn't, I think it's great to say "hey, what do you think of this? Would this bother you?" because to me, she hasn't just decided she is right and they are wrong. She's looking for understanding their views. Or at least that's how it seemed to me, though obviously you saw it differently - that she just wanted to build her own case. Sometimes it's hard to seperate the view on the issue from the particular person, so if you sort of naturally dislike someone, I think it's okay to ask for insight from others on a view that isn't yours but that you want to understand. I greatly dislike churchy gossip. But I don't consider it gossip to say "some people in my church (who you could not possibly know) have X view. I disagree but want to understand it more. Do any of you agree with that view?" Naturally if we could know who she's talking about, all bets are off. I think I personally have given enough information about myself here that someone I know in real life would recognize me. So I could not bring a problem with my church here because one of the other people in my church who homeschools might see it. But if she doesn't think that's possible, I think it's okay to post.

Is any candidate anti-homeschooling? I haven't seen that, so to me, this really isn't an issue. It would be a bigger issue on the state level. For me, the economy, the war, and the environment are the biggest issues.

I attended a very expensive private school through gradutation. I went to college very well prepared. I had great teachers. Socially it was good in some ways, bad in others. My parents made great sacrifices to send me, and I think they made the right choice and am grateful. They have offered to send my sons to the same school. Not interested. I definitely would rather homeschool. There would be a lot of perks if they want - a great education, some really neat opportunities, and my boys find social life very easy and natural so I think they would handle that just fine. But I want to teach my boys. I want them home. I like our lower stress lifestyle. Homeschooling is about more than just academics for me, and I feel it fits our long term goals better. Also, frankly, I don't want them to spend their childhoods with the very wealthy - which we aren't. I think it gives a pretty unrealistic vision of how people live.

I always say "one child at a time, one year at a time." I have never seriously considered sending my younger boys to school. And I never considered homeschooling the eldest, but there is a ten year age difference. So for me, I take it year by year, and I tell people who ask, "how long are you going to homeschool" that. But in my heart, I am pretty committed to homeschooling for the foreseeable future.

I agree that with a child who is larger than his age, it's easy to forget his age. He's pretty young still, and you must be patient with this boyish lack of physical self control. Try to remember that he's really still so little on the inside and he needs to know you love his rambunctious self. I also agree with getting that energy channeled into exhausting physical activities. I think a simply $5 whistle might be a big help to you - not if you use it constantly, but I you say "okay, if I blow a whistle you all freeze or else." But ultimately, I think many boys have to figure out who is in charge of a household, and they have to figure it all out again when they become larger than one of the people who used to be 'Sheriff.' That happens with most boys around 12 or 13. When my son sprouted up taller than me, he had to sort of test things to see if that change the power dynamic. My MIL had warned me about this, said my DH did it too, and sort of guided me through it. You have to figure out what the rules are, and why and whose in charge and why and how much, and you just project confidence about that. Consistency, confidence, love and grace but firmness. The day came when I had to decide that he was strong willed, but that I was going to be stronger and more willful in my house about the way I live. I was very very firm about how my son spoke to me. I couldn't stop him from saying the occasional rude/ugly/agitating thing, but I addressed it every. single. time. So I guess basically I agree with the others. I think with boys, they need to know you love them to bits, and they need to know you are in charge. Even when they weigh 180 pounds and can eat an entire large pizza, which will happen before you know it!

No no, not at all. I was concerned about how you would perceive *our* responses - sometimes it's hard to post something and not get the answer you want. And I didn't want the irrational pregnant woman freaking out on us. kidding. kidding. kidding. Blessings, Dana

I don't think you have to defend a decision to us either way. I think reasonable minds can definitely disagree on this, and it's a decision you can make and just try to make one you will feel good about - so if you have kind of decided, they go with it and I hope you have a great experience. To answer your question, though, I honestly try not to be overly guided by my feelings about things. If I had to do a homebirth according to the insurance, I would investigate the *data* about safety and health (and I think from what little I know, that I would be totally great with a HB) and I would try to make a decision based on that, rather than on my feelings. But I wouldn't be a basket case either way if the research was relatively reassuring. If you are, that's relevant. It's probably medically relative if it would cause you anxiety. It's okay to go with your feelings. I will say that I wasn't bullied at all and I had a great relationship with my hospital doctor (who I never met prior to being pregnant and "assigned" to him). He was a wonderful, gentle man. His wife came to visit me the day after my twins were born to tell me that she woke in the night and got on her knees and prayed for my boys - at the same time I was delivering - because she woke with a sense there was a problem (and there was, but that's a long story). She and the Doctor were homeschoolers and eventually she and another woman mentored me into giving homeschooling a try (another long story). So I really feel that that experience was so blessed by God. But you have to do what feels right to you. I didn't mean to make you feel like you have to justify a decision - neither decision here is really 'right' or 'wong.'

I had my babies in the hospital and had a good experience. Not perfect, I'm sure, but I am pretty flexible. I know some women have really strong feelings about this whole experience, and I guess I am low maintenance. But I do know how it feels in general to want something that is important to you to be a certain way and to have to give it up. So that's where I am coming from, and you know what I am going to say next already:) I would suck it up and use the money for something that benefits the whole family - a better van, perhaps. I'm sure everyone is making major sacrifices with your husband in school. He is, the kids are, and you are. I would probably sacrifice some of my visions of what the birthing experience should be in the interests of benefiting the whole group. Now, if you are pretty sure that the baby will be at risk in the hospital, that's different. I'm not sure what you thoughts are on that. But if you feel like either way, you will go home with a healthy baby, I would want to go home with a healthy baby and $2000 if money were super tight. Of course, if your husband really really wants to do the homebirth, that might make a difference. I'd certainly try to negotiate with the insurance company. I hope whatever decision you make, you will have peace with it and that your financial situation won't be a stresser for you or your DH. And I hope either way, you will have a great experience and a healthy baby!

I'm not sure I have noticed, but I don't shop a lot of watch tv that much or get catalogs, so I'm not sure it would have come into my radar. What kind of products are we talking about? When I have to replace something anyway, like my washing machine last year, I do care very much about energy efficiency. But I'm not sure I have every bought a product specifically to "go green." Oh, except a few bags to use at the grocery store.

I dont' wear "nice" clothes everyday. I am fine with jeans and a t-shirt. I wear make-up every single day always unless I am sick - not tons of gunky mascara type makeup, but I wear the basics. I am one of those women who just looks MUCH better with a little help. Often I pull my hair into a clip or put it in a pony tail. Somedays I make it look better than others, but I actually think I look nice with it off my neck in a clip. So I guess I try to look nice everyday, but I think nice can be casual.

Well, I'm a pushover. I actually put food out for squirrels. I BUY squirrel food. Hows that for frugal? But you all are reminding me of the time I lived with a woman whose spaniel killed a squirrel in a neighbor's yard. I saw him! I knew the people had young children, and I got a shovel right away so I could get rid of the evidence before the kids saw it and got upset. But I was too late. The Mom pulled up in a van, the kids got out, they watched a minute, and then one said, "Mom, why is that lady killing a squirrel?"

Yes. He's up to date on shots. I'm not really worried about him.

My kids found a dead squirrel which is bleeding from it's side and mouth near our driveway. It would have been our dog. It could have been a hawk (seen a bunch around lately) or an owl. If might have fallen from a tree, though it's full grown. What should I do? My dog is current on all his shots, but should I call animal control about having it tested for rabbies? I guess I am just thinking that there must have been something wrong with it to get caught in the first place? Or am I being stupid? Should I just bury it somewhere and forget about it?

Yeah, I think that's part of it. Of course, most logic age children are older than 10 anyway. I think logic is more the 10/11 - 13/14 age group. But I do think some of it is location too. I have great neighbors who know my children well. We watch out for each other and my children have several of their phone numbers memorized. I have parents 1 mile away. I can get to the grocery in less than 5 minutes. So it's probably easier for me to run an errand or two than for you to. I will leave my 10 year olds for half an hour - to run one to a sports practice or to run over to my parents for something, or to walk the dog. I personally wouldn't leave a child that age for 2 hours.

One thing I have loved for years has been a "Christmas Memory" book. It had pages on which to record 20 Christmases - who was there, how we celebrated, what we ate, special presents, a family photo, the card we sent out. I love it.

Ack! MEant to start that as a new thread!

I am supposed to make a fairly massive quantity of potato wedges for a neighborhood supper club - enough for 40 people (the theme is sort of Texan or Western or something, so these go with ribs). Anyway, I have a big bag of baking potatoes. Do I need to peel them? Can I slice them ahead and keep them in the refrigerator? In water? Lemon water? If I just coat them with a lot of oil and seasoning and then bake them at 400 degrees, will that work? I had this item assigned to me, and I really don't want to have to buy frozen potatoe fingers at the grocery because I am trying trying trying to be frugal!!!

I've enjoyed books that are along a similar vein - books about real life adventurers and explorers. Have you read The Ice Masters by Jennifer Niven, Into Thin Air, by Jon Krakauer?

When my husband lost his first wife, he said the hardest thing was just not having an adult to talk to in the evenings - no one to share his day with (his child was young). So he really appreciated the friends who wanted to have dinner with him - one couple brought pizza by on Friday nights and they would drink a beer and share the pizza and it just got DH through the first night of the weekend, which always seemed hard to him. I have to say, though, that everyone is different. I had a friend who lost her husband and found it quite hard that everyone wanted to give her "company." She really wanted to be alone. She didn't want people in her house all the time and she didn't want to go out. She wanted to just be with her children and be left alone - especially in the beginning. And she resented the people who thought they were doing her a favor by just dropping in or insisting on taking her children places. I think for her, grief was intense and especially in the really early, raw stages, she wanted to do it alone. So I guess I would ask her what she needs and wants. And if she is strugging financially, I might just send her anonymous gifts of money or leave groceries, rather than taking the kids to movies or giving her expensive "indulgence" gifts like a day at the spa. Or call and pay her electric bill or phone bill - something like that.

Because I am a wimp and probably couldn't be as direct with the mother as some of you might be. I just couldn't walk up to her and say "your kid is being beastly, make him stop." And I also have read so many people here and on another board say that they can't tolerate someone chastising their child when they are sitting right here. When I was a kid, all parents pretty much felt free to address all kids. But today, it seems like some mothers are really touchy about that. So I'm not sure I could do it unless I knew the other child pretty well or unless he was at my house. So I guess my approach gives me the ability to point out to the child and the mother that the behavior is annoying in a way that makes it clear I am watching and won't let it slide. And I would almost expect my child to say, "Hey, I wasn't the one doing it." And then I could say, "Oh, sorry. I thought it was a two way thing. Well anyway, I don't want to see it again. Understand Peter?" No biggie.

Rascal by Sterling North is what comes to mind right of the bat. We also loved Carry on, Mr. Bowditch and the Chronicles of Narnia. And Danny, the Champion of the World. That was the favorite thing anyone read to me when I was a child, and I loved reading to my boys, too.