My sister is an ESL teacher and I am going to ask her about this. My guess is that teachers have focussed on "conversational" English because they think the kids need first just to be able to get by in their new country. But I also wonder if part of it is that grammar is hard to teach in ESL. Maybe? I don't know..... I'm just thinking that if you have kids from six different countries and therefore have to use English exclusively to teach, then conversational English might be much more natural to teach then grammatical forms. I mean, how do you get the idea of "gerund" across without using language to explain it? When I teach grammar in Latin, I use a lot of English to teach it. If I had to teach exclusively in the second language without reference to any first language, it seems like that would be so hard. Of course, that's probably why people spend a lot of time and money in graduate school training for ESL!

We took our older son about 12 years ago. I was absolutely dreading it - it seemed so entirely not "me." But I was pleasantly surprised. It's so clean and it wasn't crowded when we went. I was amazed by the variety of bird life, and it was just a nice vacation (though honestly, for the money there are other vacations I would rather take). We took our younger children last year, and it was pretty much the same. Clean, easy, convenient, fun. Much better than I thought. I think people who just *love* Disney are nuts. The music and the characters are pretty annoying. We aren't a family that watches a lot of Disney movies, and I just don't really "relate." And there was not one. single. thing. I would want to buy there. The food was okay but even though we ate at some of the nicer restaurant, the better restaurants in Charlotte (which no one would call a great culinary city) are better, quieter, and mostly less expensive. So for me, it's not really a great vacation, but if you time it right, it's also not so crowded. And I think Disney really does a wonderful job with transportation, customer relations, and creating "happy." It's really a nice vacation, but not a "must do."

I just spent it, and it hasn't arrived! I promise I usually am not so irresponsible, but my Clavinova has been nonoperable for over a month, and it's really tanked our violin practice. So I bought a keyboard today, and I'm waiting for DH to come home and help me set it up. I count this as an educational expense, of course!

Can you site the law? I was researching this recently and concluded that the only states with laws about leaving children alone were Illinois (which simply says that you can't leave a child under 13 for more than 14 hours - as IF) and Maryland, which has an under 8 law (and this applies to leaving them in cars, apparently). Anyway, I am wondering if maybe your local DSS has a policy of investigating cases involving kids under 12? Or maybe it's a new law? Just curious - if you have specific information I would be interested.

Well, today it was a big chunck of frozen oatmeal chocolate chip cookie dough. Not proud of that.

Would you feel differently about this is the car were a junker and it were being driven to a public school? It seems to me that the problem here is in the ethics of applying for a hardship license when you don't necessarily have a hardship. But is the family wealth relevant, really? It seems to me that many people here have bought their children cars. So if someone else can buy a far nicer car, really, why does it matter? To the rest of the world, our children are so stinking spoiled because they get three meals a day and have clean clothes EVERY day and their own beds even, that I'm not sure those of us who have to buy junkers can really throw stones at people who buy their kids new SUVs. It's really just the degree of utter and complete spoildness, you know? Any boy who got to finish highschool instead of dropping out to help support the family after 8th grade seemed very priviledged and "soft" to my grandfather. Maybe it's just a matter of degrees, you know?

I wouldn't have known there was a difference either, but after I read your post, I went to see if I could find anything about this, since I can't imagine I would forget letting my sons watch a movie that had nudity. The first thing I pulled up said it was "rated R" and I *know* I didn't watch a rated R movie with 10 year olds. Apparently, the director's cut is rated R and the mass release was PG-13. So that's just something to remember - that when you are getting an older movie like this, if there are different "cuts" you might want to be careful. I was looking at The Last Emperor recently, and it was the same in terms of having more than one version out there.

I would not buy a new teen driver a car, myself. I personally wish we would just not allow kids to drive AT ALL until they are closer to 18. I wish there simply were no 15 year old drivers on the roads, because statistically they are a danger to us all. My son started at 17, and I thought that was more reasonable. But it sort of bothers me when people start in on how if we give our children things like cars and educations, we create monsters of entitlement. I just haven't noticed that in my life. And most of my friends are women who don't work. Yeah, we raise kids and care for our homes. But most mothers are raising kids, working and non-working. I live in a nice house bought with money I didn't earn. I wear clothes my husband's money bought. I eat food he buys. I have a car he bought for me. Sure, I work around the house. I keep it picked up, I vacuum, I cook. But I did all those things before I was married and I still had to work if I wanted to eat. So I guess in a way, I feel like I am one of those people who has many many things I did not earn - both physically and spiritually. And while I may have a sense of entitlement at time, I believe I live my life with a lot of gratitude and wonder at my good fortune. I always feel like it's the greatest deal in the world to be a housewife and have your husband say "okay, I put some cash in the sock drawer, so if you need anything, help yourself." I will never get over what a great deal that is:) I'm not sure I totally appreciated all the things my parents did for me at the time. But I sure appreciate it now, and I love them to bits. I see them almost everyday and I am committed to caring for them in the future, so I'm not sure being "spoiled" has really hurt me - yet. That said, Daddy bought me a nice care (not fancy, but new) when I was 16, and I wrecked it within months. I wasn't doing anything really wrong or bad, wasn't speeding or drinking or anything like that. But I know that there is a good liklihood that a kid will have at least a few dings and dents the first couple of years of driving, so I personally would choose to buy something that is reliable but not beautiful so that they don't have to experience that guilt and misery.

We just watched it and our ten year old boys watched it with us. I recall lots of cleavage but no frontal nudity. Apparently only the director's cut contains the scene in which Constance offers herself to Salieri and reveals her chest. So if you don't want to see that, try to get the regular release film. I got it from Netfix and apparently they didn't send the director's cut. There is an image of suicide, some inappropriate language, and a lot of drinking. My most emphatic warning, though, is that if you allow your children to see this film, there is a good chance that they will try to imitate Tom Hulce's "Mozart laugh." After a couple of weeks, that gets pretty old:)

Oh, when will you women learn. You can't post a poll on a woman's board without providing "other" as an option, because most women consider themselves "others" and can't be confined by limited choices:) I am out almost everyday, but I would never describe myself as "always on the go." For example, on Monday and Wednesday I drive kids home from tennis (another Mom takes them). It's 3 minutes from my house. Sometimes they actually just walk, but I like to pick them up after because they are tired. So does a six minute trip count as "out" that day? I'm certainly not "on the go" on those two days. On Tuesday and Thursday I am often home all day because the swimming carpool is handled by another Mom. But if I run to the grocery, is that "out?" I don't like being "on the go" and am home most of every day, though a couple days I have afternoon duties, Friday being the most onerous (I'm out from 3:00 until almost 6:00 that day.

We are both pretty reluctant to go out. For the past year I have been serving on a discernment committee trying to find a priest for our church. So that has eaten up Monday nights. DH wanted me to do it, and I am glad I have but .... Then, once a month I have book club. A couple of times a month, DH plays tennis with some guys on Wednesday nights. For us, that feels like we are maxed out on being out in the evenings. I don't think either of us would accept another obligation - social or church related or school related - in the evenings. We just really like to be together and be with the children. So I don't think you are at all weird to find it hard to have your DH out three nights in a row, even though what he is doing is totally legitimate and I wouldn't want to pressure him not to do bible study with your DD or have a group of men on Wednesdays. Those are all good things. And work is sometimes non-negotiable. For us, DH has a great men's group but they meet at 7:00 in the morning! They study the bible, pray, and sometimes have breakfast. DH has a lot of control over his work schedule, but he works *a lot* so normally he skips the social breakfast time. I think it's kind of a lot for these guys to go out EVERY week. Maybe everyweek to pray and study for an hour, but I would think dinner and play could be maybe twice a week. I do think this is common in church - to schedule so much and then some people spend more time in group activities than they do alone with the Lord or with their families. Maybe your DH should consider doing a devotional a couple of times a week with the family after dinner, and drop the Monday thing. Maybe once a month he could skip the guys group and have a "date night" with you. I don't know. But I do think that our lives quickly feel really overwhelming when we let ourselves get sucked into too many "churchy" evening things or social evening things.

Ya'll are all so nice - I wish I lived in your neighborhoods! I guess for me, I don't want to volunteer to watch someone else's child and feed him or her dinner. Actually, I do that all the time for people, but don't know if I would want to imply that I am here and available for them whenever they need it. I really don't want to be someone's sitter. They need to hire one or find some other solution. Obviously if there was a one time miscommunication, I would really be happy to be the solution and to take that child in, but not as a regular thing I know I sound mean and unfriendly. I'm not. I have great neighbors and we support each other. But I just don't think that we have to choose to either be the solution or ignore the problem. I wouldn't want to be the solution and I couldn't ignore the problem. But if these people continued to leave an 8 year old alone outside for that long, I just think I would probably call them and just tell them that I was nervous because she was out riding in the street, and I didn't know what their rules were about what she can do when they aren't home, and wanted to make sure they knew what was going on. I guess I am just think that when you bring something out in the open, maybe stick your nose in a little, but at the same time don't condemn or accuse, maybe it makes them think about the situation from a different light.

I don't think it's your job to look after her, and while that would be nice, I don't think you should feel compelled to do it. I would probably let it go this once. It's possible there was a miscommunication or that there was a sitter in the house you didn't know about. If it became a continuing thing, I would call the parents. It won't make them fall in love with you, lol, but too bad. She's too young to be riding her bike for three hours outside with no parent around. I would find a really tactful way to address it and I would pray long and hard about that, but I don't really believe that children at risk are entirely "none of your business." If the parents know you are concerned, it might make them rethink it if they are planning to do this regularly. You don't have to be hostile about it, but I do think I personally would not feel good about ignoring it.

So I am feeling a desperate need to clean clean clean clean. She's not judgmental or picky or mean. She is a normal woman who always worked and wouldn't think this kind of cleaning is necessary for me to prepare for her. And yet, there is something about someone having access to all the closets and drawers that makes me want to clean drastically and totally. Please inspire me!!!!

You know, I had one child (out of three) who sometimes misbehaved that way. It's totally stressful for a parent. It used to really annoy me that the teacher would not call me the first time he started misbehaving, but would wait. I felt like if I knew early on, I could really reall make a big difference. Like your son, my son was mostly trying to be entertaining, and didn't always behave appropriately. He wasn't mean. He wasn't a bully, he just was more invested in entertaining other kids than in being respectful. But I do think it's human nature not to want to call parents with the first problem. The "policy" that they will contact parents just isn't going to make every teacher want to call parents the first time. People are mostly conflict avoidant and don't want to call parents that first time. It's nerve wrecking to call a parent. You don't know how they will react. So I had to just accept that how other adults handled a problem was not within my power, even if they were "supposed" to call. If you want to reenroll him, I think you should. And I think you should let the teachers know one on one that you are a parent who really wants to know the FIRST time. Let them know your child had to be removed last year, and that you are trying again, but that you want to be included from day one if there is the slightest problem, and assure them that you are a parent who will always support the teacher.

Because the parents I know have so many schooling choices. We have neighborhood public schools and magnets. We have Christian schools and a number of private ones. So when I go to a neighborhood social event, if there are 20 families there, their kids go to maybe 10 schools. So I think that cuts back on some of the "us" versus "them" thinking. I think that makes it easier for us to love sometimes and hate sometimes the choices we have made without feeling like things are black and white. And most of us know that nothing is perfect. My neighborhood and church friends are really accepting of my homeschool choice (I am the only HSer in this subdivision) and I have never noticed that we can't talk about things. Sometimes I will ask a friend about how her child's school is handling science or how much writing they expect. I've even asked to see their math text and to see his written work so I can get an idea of what kind of handwriting is passing muster. Likewise, my friends seem to feel free to tell me what they like or don't like about their child's school without being afraid that I am thinking "then homeschool." So I guess I would say that no, I don't feel like I have to bite my tongue. And I feel VERY lucky to have friends and neighbors who like mine!

The second visit I might call the office manager about. But the first visit doesn't surprise me. I assume that a sonogram machine is a very expensive piece of equipment, and when a doctor charges you for using it, he's not charging you in reference to the 30 seconds of use, but he's figuring out how to pay bills for office space, employees, equipment and everything else involved in running and office. I don't know tht much about podiatry, but I wonder if maybe he did the sonogram to rule out other things that might have been causing you so so much pain. Since he can't really see what is going on inside your foot with is eyes, he uses machines like this, and he's got to charge you for what it costs him to own and operate. I would wait and see what insurance pays and then call and negotiate a reduction in any unpaid amounts.

to be feeling sorry for me instead of the poor woman I said this too!

I've only made that mistake one time, but when the woman said "I'm not pregnant" and laughed, I compounded the mistake by saying, "No, really, when are you due?" forcing her to say, "No, really, I'm just very fat, but I am not pregnant." I think she probably was one of the nicest people in the whole universe, to continue on with the conversation in a very pleasant, cheerful way. As you can see, I've been working on this "foot in mouth" award for years!

Well, I certainly didn't mean to imply that there is anything wrong with your daughter if she did deliberately play with boys. I really like my church and my homeschool group *because* kids play in a mix of ages and genders. Anyway, I agree that this boy should not be hitting and if it's a pattern, I would certainly be alarmed. But I doubt you can convince the parents of that - some parents just are always going to feel defensive about their children and believe their actions, no matter how bad, are somehow justifiable. I think in the end if the parents won't control their son, all you can really do is keep your daughter away from him or keep yourself in the midst of the group of kids. Which really really stinks, but I am not sure what else you can do. I really hate conflict and wouldn't want to escalate this between neighbors unless I thought that some good would come of it. Which I just doubt.

I guess I think maybe, then, the older kids need a nice way to tell you younger kids to go away when they are being silly and annoying. I would be MOST upset if my ten year old boy hit a girl. NOT okay. But I also totally sympathize with how annoying a seven year old girl might seem to a boy that age, and I think he should probably figure out a way to tell the other boys his age "okay, let's take off and do a boy things for a while" or otherwise seperate out the younger kids or the boys. A boy this age probably isn't going to ask for adult help with someone being annoying. They like to feel like they can solve their own problems. I think boys may be more reluctant than girls to appeal to adult authority. Honestly, if my daughter regularly acted in a way that provoked that, I probably would encourage more playing in places where I could directly supervise. I think seven is sort of young to be off playing with 10 and 12 year olds anyway. Maybe you should encourage the girls in her age group to play more together and just reduce the liklihood of her being off playing with them unsupervised.

I almost never wear mine. I hate how jewelry feels and I lose things. I have a very loose grasp on physicaly reality. So mine stays in my jewelry box where it is safe. I do think it bugs my DH a bit, but as I tell him "I never ever want to lose it." If it you really want to wear yours, though, I would go to a good jewelry designed and talk to them about your issue. Perhaps there are other rings settings that wouldn't be as snaggy. It' might be a fairly simple change.

Anyone else who thought she was in the running for the "foot in your mouth" award can gracefully bow out now. Today a lady told me that her mother is turning 80 this week. And I replied "Really? Your mother must have been really young when she had you." So then she stood there a minute while what I had said slowly dawned on me, and she said, "Well, I'm really not as old as I look." After you say something that stupid, there's really no recovery, or at least none I could think of, so it was mostly silent. I feel so bad!

So if I ate three cups mixed with tears over UNC's loss tonight, that would be ...... 560 calories. A steal!

I JUST found out I am supposed to teach preschool in Sunday School tomorrow about an hour ago. I already agreed to substitute for someone else in the nursery, so I have to find someone to take the nursery spot and then teach preschool with no plan! I'm surprised because usually the director is really good about reminding me it's my turn and getting me the lesson plans. Anyway, I have a *very* squirmy group of 2 - 5 year olds - heavy on the two and three year olds. I just decided that we are going to talk about the lost sheep in Luke and I have printed out a coloring page and have a little activity planned. But with this group, I think 15 minutes of bible learning and 30 minutes of play is about right, lol. So what can I do with about 10 2-3 year olds inside tomorrow? Not too loud, and definitely not messy because we are lucky they let us use the room. And no food - I have a child with serious allergies in the class, and to keep things simple, I just don't feed them anything unless a parent brings it and asks me to feed it, which has never happened. If you can tell me about an active game that draws on the "lost sheep" theme, that would be worth a lot to me!!!! But any game will do - anything likely to absorb the attention of a few very inattentive squirmers, and that doesn't require any preparation, since as usual I am a day late and a dollar short here!