Ottakee, Amira, and Spryte, thank you so much. You've each given me ideas on how to make this work if the parents and teen decide to move forward.

Thanks, Amira. That's very helpful. Do you mind my asking if your son is still on your insurance? We are fine covering basic expenses, but we want the parents to maintain financial responsibility for physical and mental health expenses.

Thanks. Yes, DH and I are firm that we need the teen to be on board with the plan. We won't have him here against his will. We were planning on counseling for the teen, but I hadn't thought about family counseling. That's a good idea.

Our family has offered to take in a teenage relative who is dealing with multiple diagnoses and bullying at school. Our kids (all in double digits) are on board with the idea. I'm not sure if it's going to happen--they are still trying to get him stabilized on the new meds, and one of his parents doesn't want to talk about a move until that happens--but I want to be prepared in case it does. His parents are divorced and both in different states/countries, so we will need some legal, written agreement in place. What sorts of things should we make sure to include? For those of you who have done this, what advice would you give us?

I am not a wine expert by any stretch. I tend to think Malbec goes with everything.

Can you elaborate? Our Argentinian Spanish teachers have never had anything bad to say about Argentina. ;-) PM is fine if you prefer that.

I've been to Mexico a few times; never been to Brazil. DH and I have talked about spending at least part of our early retirement in Latin America, although we haven't considered Brazil because we want to stick to Spanish-speaking countries. (DH is fluent.) We have talked about Argentina. Mexico's main advantage over a South American country is that it'd be a shorter trip back to the U.S. and our family here. It's my understanding that there would be no path to citizenship in Mexico, but that if you have enough money you can stay there long term. Not sure if you have to cross the border every so often or jump through other hoops for that. I love to read, and I've always found a book club anywhere we live, so I'd need to live somewhere with a large enough English-speaking expat community to have a book club and a lending library.

Well, it's fantasy, but the Belgariad series by David Eddings has great humor and I can't imagine anyone having nightmares from it. Likewise, Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett is light and funny, although still fantasy. Maybe we read too much fantasy here. :-)

Thanks for this book. My trans teen frequently complains about the lack of trans representation in literature. This sounds like something they would like.

I'm fine with cloudy days. I find them either exciting or cozy, depending on if there is wind. DH is the concern, and he's pretty much over skiing. (We are unlikely to live in a more convenient spot for skiing than we do now.) Our current plan is to have him spend time in Latin America in the winter to break up the winter if he finds it gloomy. Here, it's the cold that gets him most, so we're not sure if PNW winters will bother him. We're lucky that he can work from anywhere. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I'm a native Oregonian who is hoping to move back to the PNW in a few years. DH was researching light therapy lamps in anticipation, and found some troubling studies about blindness resulting from light therapy. So, we're having some second thoughts. It might be a short stay for us. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Thanks for all of the responses. It stopped letting me like the posts, so please imagine a like for all of them. I think I'm going to have to ask my sister-in-law, and possibly wait until they know more about their moving arrangements. They'll be living in an expat compound, and we've been told they can buy everything there that they can here except for alcohol, porn, and pork, but it might be that as they learn more, there will be something helpful that they want to bring from the U.S. The Food Mill is a great idea, except they didn't feed their older daughter baby food either, so I'm pretty sure they have one already. I really like the book idea too (and I'm pretty sure the company is paying for the move), but I've never been to their house, so I worry about getting them duplicates and then them having the hassle of exchanging at a time when they have so much else going on. If you think of any other suggestions, please post. :-)

I have a new niece. Yay! Who was born almost exactly two years after her sister, so I was already struggling to think of a present. I'm assuming they are all set on seasonally appropriate clothes because of the first kid. Now I learned that they are moving to a compound in Saudi Arabia before the end of the year. In their place, I would be decluttering like mad, so I don't want to give them something that will be a burden. They live in the South now, so their baby stuff is already for warm weather. Any ideas? Shopping is not my strength, but I want to send something to celebrate her birth. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I find both the ideas and the language of the traditional vows lovely, and they do a much better job of capturing what I felt about getting married than the words of our marriage ceremony. Although I appreciated the "eternal" part of the Mormon marriage ceremony (it's actually called a "sealing"), the rest of the wording leaves a lot to be desired. The ceremony's roots in polygamy are a little too apparent for my taste. The words of the ceremony did not represent our relationship, then or now.

Ditto, except we've been married a few years longer. I don't have many regrets about my 30 years as a Mormon, but I do regret not having wedding vows.

Now I'm really curious where you live. I am a complete heat wimp, and I think summers in VT are great. No complaints with summer here. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

You have definitely identified the right months to be somewhere else. I love Vermont, but the winters do seem long now. (We've been here since 2003.) If I could choose a town now, I would choose Montpelier. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

The Latter Day Saint movement includes all the churches that spun off from Joseph Smith's early church, not just the Brighamite church.

In my experience, at times like this, one puts aside whatever strain there is in the relationship and expresses sorrow, love, and concern. I would encourage my kid to say something, and I would also facilitate attendance at the memorial service or funeral.

Oooh! I know! Pick me! :seeya: Operation Mincemeat. Highly readable nonfiction about an intelligence operation in WWII. "In 1943, from a windowless basement office in London, two brilliant intelligence officers conceived a plan that was both simple and complicated— Operation Mincemeat. The purpose? To deceive the Nazis into thinking that Allied forces were planning to attack southern Europe by way of Greece or Sardinia, rather than Sicily, as the Nazis had assumed, and the Allies ultimately chose."

I rented my wedding dress, so I haven't had it since about a week after the wedding. I fell in love with a dress that was out of my (tiny) budget. I decided it was unlikely I would have a daughter who is my height since DH's family is all quite tall, so I would rather wear a dress that I loved than have a dress I could own. I've never regretted the decision. The dress was not a style that aged well (mermaid silhouette, anyone?), and although the child I thought was my daughter has ended up to be my height and rough build, they don't identify as female anymore, so there is no one wanting to wear my wedding dress. And I don't have to deal with the angst about getting rid of it or keeping it.

If you have kids that are at all picky about clothing, I strongly encourage you to have them try on items first. Things that sound like great advice (thumbholes, turtlenecks, snug-fitting wicking layers, etc.)--and that clearly work well for other families--are absolute no-gos with my kids. No sense spending the money if the kids won't wear the clothes. Don't skimp on boots though. We've been happy with Bogs.

We don't use the service, but I do get a chuckle (and a snarky Facebook post) out of their "healthy" snacks. (Not that our care packages are healthy, but at least we don't pretend!)

:grouphug: I am so sorry.

His spending money was what he earned during the summer. Books and tuition were covered by scholarships, and we paid for room and board and his plane tickets to and from school at the beginning and end of the year and at Christmas. He lived on campus and didn't have a car. He spent $2-3k during the year, but he was not trying to budget at all, and that amount includes a lot of clothing that he bought at the beginning of the year. This year, he's living off campus. Still no car. We are covering rent and utilities, and he is paying for food in addition to spending money.