Maybe this is off-topic, but my great-aunt died of cancer when I was a child, and everyone thought it was because they used ddt on their farm on their cows, and she was the one who applied the ddt. I don’t know if that was official. I have heard a lot about glyphosate being bad for monarch butterflies, but I hadn’t heard about these health effects, that is scary.

Three a day, minimum. I quit drinking some stronger black teas because I did realize I was adding too much sugar. Now I (as a rule) do not add sugar at home. I like lots of sugar, and I have it when I’m out, but that’s not very often. I like green tea (of various kinds) and some herbal teas without sugar. I do also drink diet sodas. Edit: I don’t like coffee

Wow, beautiful!!!!!! I have a funny bison story…. I drove someone to a rural DMV to try to get in line early, and we happened to see a herd of probably 20 bison right as the sun was rising — it was a great moment of serendipity! Your picture is wonderful and reminded me of that happy memory.

We went to marriage counseling and had advice to make a point of spending time together without just talking about the kids and family stuff. It helped a lot with our own relationship as a couple.

Wow, I’m sorry it’s working out this way. It sounds like your husband’s heart was really in the right place!

I don’t know if the dad has any preferences. It can be hard to know sometimes, I think parents can not want to get into the middle of things sometimes, they can’t win, lol. At this point if it ends up that some siblings make plans to go to Boston, the dad is free to go to Boston, too. If the plan is already out there and people are making serious plans — that is the situation. If people are just talking and not making serious plans or arrangements, then that is the situation.

I think changing to “let’s do a birthday party” is a great option.

I can understand thinking of it like a birthday invitation, but I don’t think this is comparable. This is a level of planning/commitment that would naturally invite the input of various people involved. It’s not a level of planning/commitment that would naturally obligate the guest to be pleasant and accommodating to the host. I don’t see the inviter as the host, basically. I don’t think it’s a host/guest situation.

To me, the original trip is a group vacation, too. It’s still a group, it’s still a vacation. I don’t think there’s anything intrinsic to the original idea that couldn’t be flexible to include looking a different way. I think maybe your dad could say — he is just going to get an air b and b with dad, let everyone else make their own arrangements, have a date he’s going to buy tickets and they need to have sent him money before that date if they want to be in on it. Then see how things work out and make some more plans later on in the process. I think if he wants to say he wants the baseball game to be siblings only, that’s fair. To me, that would be reasonable at this point, as an example of something I think would be reasonable.

At the same time, I think your husband should be free to not take on more than he wants to, if other people expect him to manage and arrange everything. I think he should be free to focus on spending time with his dad and not worry about what his siblings are doing. Edit: there’s a lot of additional context that could make me think the siblings are totally unreasonable and expect way too much from your husband, with way too little consideration for him.

If the invitation is already made, I think it would be rude. I would think people would need to make their own arrangements for an Air B and B etc, I don’t think it’s fair to put all the planning on one person. But if other people want to get a second B and B, or some couples want to stay in a hotel and not with the other siblings, I think that’s reasonable. This is pushing all my buttons of “guess what I’m 45 years old, don’t be so bossy, or if you’re going to be bossy, don’t be surprised people don’t want to go along with every detail.”

Of course your dh is the oldest. I think it’s not unreasonable what he wants to do, but also not unreasonable for other people to want to adjust the plans. I don’t think that just because one person is “the inviter” that there can’t be some openness about what works for the whole group.

Congratulations on finding something, I hope it’s great!!!!!

Here it is through VR (vocational rehab) and students can apply for VR at age 15 1/2. There is a VR liaison for area high schools. The VR liaison coordinates with Special Ed teachers. My understanding is that every state is different. Locally, most students who qualify will be in Special Education, but there are also students who qualify who aren’t in Special Education. I asked about this and was told the liaison can/does meet individually with those students, but it’s harder to arrange than for Special Ed where he can arrange with teachers to go in. My son has ended up being in Special Education in high school, so I can remind his IEP case manager (and science teacher) when it’s my son’s 15 1/2 birthday, and he will help us with it at that point. I just asked about it at Parent-Teacher Conferences and he said not to expect it to be overly difficult/bureaucratic. For the driving support, my memory is that they can start working with students once they have a learner permit (long story but there’s not a written test required here). Then they can approve blocks of hours for more driving practice, and then re-approve more blocks of hours if the instructor feels like it’s possible the student will be able to get a driver license. Edit: I just looked at a flyer about it in my email, and it’s called DRS on the flier, but I have never heard anyone call it DRS. Department of Rehabilitative Services.

I might not be right about this, but I think there can be a question of if he could be in the regular class with more support. Could he have an aide or something in the regular class. I think it has to either actually be better for him or actually be necessary for him. There should be a serious discussion of this if he has been in a regular classroom with what sounds like “not good enough” support. Have they tried increasing his support. The thing is if you are agreeing to this because it’s for one year, the truth is it is going to depend on how he’s doing. You can’t go too much about the generic other kids in the program, what about the kids most similar to your son. Not the kid with the least severe issue, unless that is a good comparison. It shouldn’t be skipped over because “this is just for one year” unless there’s really good reason to think that. Not that I think it means it’s not the right choice, just that it can be possible to just skip over a lot of things if the expectation is one year passes and everything is great. Well, if one year passes and there are still some ongoing issues, it’s a possibility, it’s likely it will be the case for some kids in the program sometimes. Maybe you can ask how he fits into the class, or maybe you have got information like “he does do well with x, y, z” or he has made progress or he has issues that are very likely to decrease with age (like — if he is touching people in circle time, that seems to just go away for a lot of kids).

My daughter’s friend was in one where a lot of kids really did stay less than one year, but they would have to think they were ready with enough time to start spending gradually increasing time with a regular class. My daughter’s friend would get in trouble during this process and then they would reduce the time or stop it. So she never transitioned out of it while she was in elementary school. But I think it was a good program for her, she didn’t spend all her time in trouble.

Improvement is a win!!!!!

I would ask how often the lead teacher is out doing meetings, and who is there when the lead teacher is out. What happens when there is a sub?

I would ask how much they are on screens, and if they use screens as rewards.

I would say “so, I’ve heard with programs like this, the hope is it’s one year or less than one year…. What are you looking for to show kids are ready to go back…. How do they transition back…. Do kids stay another year or so they move to another program, if they aren’t showing readiness.”

Will he have a traditional morning time or circle time? I would ask if there will be a “least restrictive placement” determination — is it considered that kind of thing or not.

I would also ask for more details about their social-emotional program. Is the stuff for 5-year-olds specifically for 5-year-olds. I would ask if I could see samples. I would ask what training was done by whoever will do this — did they go to a training, was it their major in college? I would ask if they have specific goals and how they will monitor progress (will it be by observation?). I would ask if with such a small ratio, they have a plan to transition kids back to the regular classroom size. I would ask if they are concerned about kids getting too dependent on the teacher with such a small ratio.

I would ask about the behavior needs of the other children. I would ask if they were trained in CPS (or crisis prevention or whatever it is called). If they are not, I would ask why not. I would ask how they handle behavior issues. I would ask how they inform parents. Consider stating in writing you want to be informed. I would ask if they have a policy on restraint and seclusion. Consider stating in writing you are opposed. Ask if they are doing the same academic level as in the regular classroom. I would ask if they have recess and lunch on their own or with the rest of the school. I would ask if they go to music and PE. I would ask if they will attend field trips with their grade level. I would ask how they will appear in the yearbook (are they their own class with their own teacher in the yearbook, or are they technically assigned to another classroom). I would ask if this is the home school for all the kids. I would ask what the next level is for kids who need a higher level of support (more for information in general than because it might come up for you — it’s an informative thing to ask I think). I’ll see if I think of more. I don’t know what his IEP looks like but I would ask questions about how they will follow his IEP.

I have done a mid-year move, with a special needs child, and it went smoothly, I hope it will go smoothly, but in optimistic. He’s young, too, which can help make school transitions easier. The new classroom sounds wonderful. I would not waste another thought on the old school, they are not worth your time or energy. I do think they sound like jerks!

I am glad I asked, because I am obviously far on the skeptical side, and not average. I thought I might be average, so it’s good to know. I also feel like there were things I was missing context on for the referral process, that are pertinent here. This is something where primary care referred to a specialist, and the specialist ordered a test. Now there will be another appointment with the specialist to get the results of the test. I think it’s going to provide major peace of mind.