I thought you guys deserved an update...since you all helped me through the initial shock of the news of what happened. Here is the initial message for a reminder: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=265711&highlight=cajunrose Here's where we are now. She has official divorced her husband. She dropped his last name and went back to her maiden. I know it shouldn't, but it bothers me. It's like she is erasing ever having been married...which is fine b/c I have done it before also, however, there is a child involved here and there wasn't with my situation. She has, indeed, started a relationship with her 'roommate'. She said that she was NOT involved with him before she left her husband, but it happened after she moved in with him. I have met him...not sure what to think of him. He has trouble looking me in the eyes. She only see's her daughter once a month...keeps her for a night, then returns her first thing the next morning. Now..I have talked quite a bit with her about what exactly happened with her husband....why she left. He was EXTREMELY controlling with money...he kept her check in addition to his and he had to approve any and all purchases (I saw that with my own two eyes and promptly told her if he were my husband he would be shoving that up his you know what.) He wouldn't let her use her AC in her car (in the summer...in Houston) because it kills the gas mileage. :001_huh: I'm not exaggerating on that stuff...I saw it every time I visited. However....because of the above 'management' of money, they were able to just about pay cash for a quarter million dollar home and 2 cars back to back. I don't know how I feel about that. As far as the baby...she made it clear to him that she never wanted children. From the begining, she told him if they got married, they woudl be childless. He agreed to it. However a couple of years into their marriage, he started pushing her. Told her he would do all of the 'work' that went along with a baby..getting up at night with her, getting off of work at a decent time to handle her at night. Told her that a lot of moms felt that way...that they didn't want children but when they got pregnant, they fell in love wiht that baby. It would be love at first sight when she had the baby. He worked that angle for several years. She finally got herself talked into it and told herself the motherly instinct would come to her and she would be head over heals in love with the baby when she had her. So, she finally consented to getting pregnant. Only we know what happened with that. She never bonded with her...and she really did want to. Her husband kept working later and later hours. Wouldn't get home until after Mary and Sally went to bed. Wouldn't take off of work when Mary got sick at daycare (you know the first year of daycare is nothing but fever and runny nose). Told Sally that she was the mom and she could do it. Even though Sally's job was just as demanding as Bob's....she had just as many deadlines as him. She was getting further and further behind because of having to take off of work constantly. For the record, she designs the cancer ward of the children's hospital. She LOVES her job...it's very rewarding for her. She has a very giving job. Not that it matters, but her job is important to her and to the children she helps. She said he flat out told her that she had to quit her job several times. She made it clear she was not going to do that any more than he would (They made about the same amount of money so that wasn't the issue). Anyway...she got a deeper resentment toward her husband and toward being a mother (not Mary specifically, but being a mother in general). She really wants to get her masters in design. She started making the plans to do so, and her husband put his foot down and said that he would not allow her to get her masters. She had no 'need' for it (because he wanted her to quit her job.) Anyway...I can see how she was pushed to the brink and just 'needed' to leave just to live. The only problem I have is the fact that she left her daughter. I understand she didn't want children, but the fact is that she DID agree to it and while I know she hoped to feel differently toward motherhood, she still had her. She is walking away from her daughter. It hurts my heart. It's my fear that she gets 4 years down the road...or 10 or whatever and realizes what she did....or maybe I want her to do that. I don't know. I just hope that she doesn't find her another man and gets pregnant again, and falls in love with that little family...the child and all. Could you imagine what Mary will feel like if that happens? *sigh* I can still see Mary. I haven't yet. I live 5 hours away. I plan to go there in a month. And yes, I do know that I only heard her part of the story. I believe her though....I saw a lot of that with my own two eyes and I know for a fact, I would not put up with him. I also know how she was raised...or not raised. She raised herself and her sister that was 3 years younger. My heart hurts. I'm so torn. I did tell her that I will support her 100%. I will not leave her side. You don't have to agree with somebody's decisions to support them. I love her...I love her baby. She's as close to a sister to me as anybody can get. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. :) I wish the news was better.

Is it sad that I didn't even know what an oxford comma was? I THINK I was taught not to use one. The comma does not look right to me. I drink water, coke and tea. That looks right. I drink water, coke, and tea. That doesn't. hmmmm.

Right after I wrote this last night, she read a chapter and a half of Junie B to me. I asked her questions after each major section and she was able to answer them. YAY I think baby steps....she won't go back to 'frog and toad' types of books...I tried that. I will just read several times a day with her and ask her questions I think. I will also get WWE. It has been suggested to me before for something entirely different. I think it will help for sure. Thanks for the suggestions. Stephenie

My daughter (8) has some vision problems that put her behind in reading. We are going through vision therapy and she's doing much better now. We are up to magic tree house books and junie b (yes, I know...crude, but if the word 'stupid' gets her to want to read, then I'm all for it). My problem is, she has zero comprehension. She can read the words now but doesn't understand what she reads. If she mis-read's something, she doesn't KNOW she mis-reads it and keeps right on going. She gets to the end of a paragraph and can't tell me anything it was about. It's very frustrating. What can I do to help her comprehension?? Thanks Stephenie

I'm in the area that is expected to get 11 foot of water on the front side and 6 foot of water on the back side. We are more worried about the 6 foot on the backside in my neighborhood. Look at my newest blog post for pictures as to why. As far as the video, I don't understand why people don't leave. I get that she's feed the guard but that's not her primary reason. It's people that stay around that the CG has to rescue later, sometimes risking their lives. We are packed and ready to go at a moments notice. My area is expected to see water today....and in 2 days on the backside. And I'm cajun...and proud to also call myself a coona$$. It's who I am..where I'm from...and my life. I love it down here and this is breaking my heart.

:grouphug:

I said in my last post that I would post a blog post about what's going on in my neighborhood. Here it is..I'm just getting around to it. Oh, and for the record, I am a bit concerned about the amount of information I'm throwing out there (down to the neighborhood)..so in all likelihood, I'll make it private sometime tomorrow once my friends get a look into what's going on down here. I'm mainly posting it for MY records...to put what I'm feeling into words. I print my blog out into blog books every year and I want to have this documented. http://cajunhomeschool.blogspot.com/2011/05/great-flood-of-2011.html Thanks for looking

Thank you for all of the thoughts and prayers. We don't have any water yet...expected on Tuesday. Trying to pack everything up now just in case. I'm packing to go camping too...that's where we will evacuate to. This is hard...i have no dishes, etc in the camper. So I'm having to pack/almost pack, etc to be able to leave in 1 hour or less. I didn't realize how tough it would be to do that. I think I'm not going to worry so much about stuff I can get at walmart easily and just pack what I have readily available and won't hurt our family if we don't have it accessible. I don't know how else to do it. This is a hard thing...*sigh* I'll be updating with pictures here in a bit on my blog. When I have time to edit pictures, post, etc. Probably tonight.

There are people WAY worse off than me. A town (Stephensville) is about 10 minutes from me but very low, will certainly flood. They are in the fight of their lives right now. It's very sad. I have many friends out there that have been sandbagging day and night for days. They are saying our levee's will hold...but my thought is, the numbers are estimations...could be over or under what they told us.

They are opening the Morganza today. There are many of us that our homes are in the path. Our mayor says we should be ok, but it's putting a lot of trust in a lot of structures. One failure would mean being in grave danger. We are packing to leave at a moments notice. It's a hard thing to do....really. We are expecting water here in 3-5 days. For those not down here, I'm in Morgan City (has been on national news over and over. In fact, if you saw that in the national news, you likely saw my neighborhood.)

We are in the line of fire...the two towns you keep hearing on the news are Butte LaRose and Morgan City. Our sea wall can keep back up to 20 feet. We are supposed to get 13 but it has never been tested to that amount before. We are treading on new territory. I know that the neighborhood that they are most concerned about is mine. I'm definitely scared but am feeling better today. We are getting help from the national guard and coast guard. They are doing everything they can to save or property. I start packing tomorrow...I have a list (and that includes 8 chickens :001_huh:) of things to put up high, things to pack, and things to do. It'll be a busy and stressful few days here. It's a little unnerving packing knowing that what you pack may be the only things you have left in the end. We are used to that with hurricane evacuations but it never gets easy.

Congrats!! My mom will be doing the same exact thing next week in Tulsa!!

I wanted to add that you may want to re-think coming down Thursday. We are looking at WEEKS of high water. It's going to be a very slow decline. Better to keep yourself safe.

I'm so sorry your family is in Butte Larose. My heart goes out to them. I'm in Morgan City...we are in a little bit better of a position, but not much. We are starting to pack our most prized possessions and be ready to leave at a moment's notice. The lake across the street from me is supposed to take 6 feet of water if they open the Morganza. They are re-enforcing our levee's to hold 5 of the 6. They can't get it any higher. All I can do is hope for a little reprieve on that number.

Thinking about you guys. They are considering opening up the Morganza Spillway north of us. If they do that, the mississippi river could come right through our town..and almost did in 1973. I'm taking precautions now just in case. This is nuts!

I'm only talking about waiting for a few days...It's not my place to tell anybody. If they knew and I didn't? That's fine..it's her business who to tell and who not to. I have been on the other end of it and have respected the fact that the timing wasn't right for me to know. HER family knows and his...just not mine. My mom is terrible at information like that...my mom won't be much help...just a judgmental meddler. I get her not wanting my mom to know.

Honestly, that was my first thought...AND she moved in with another 'friend' from work..who is male. She ASSURED me that he is just helping her out. I don't know. I don't even really care about that part..it's the whole thing with her leaving the baby that has me heartbroken. I honestly think she is just not cut out for motherhood..and she is realizing it a day late and a dollar short.

For what it's worth...I think she is very selfish also. HOWEVER...if she recognized that she might become neglectful or abusive, she did the best thing by walking away. My husband thinks the baby will be better off in the long run without a resentful parent. I just don't know. I hurt so badly over this that I feel like my cousin has died.

I'm going to give her a week or so (after easter) before I ask her permission to tell my family. My family can be....overbearing.....and I think Carey needs some time to process before the hens come pecking. I have been very supportive of her...not judgmental (to her face....gosh, it's so hard not to be judgmental at all though), etc. I KNOW she needs time to process...time to figure herself out before everybody comes after her with judgment. I really really want to hurt her parents though. I mean really. This is their fault. This is MY parents fault for not taking action when they were kids. We knew that crap was going on. Ugh.

I have though PPD too...and PTSD from her past (she had some nasty stuff happen). I don't know. Ugh. As long as she keeps weekends, I can plan to make a trip while she has the baby on the weekend. I suspect she will let those go after a time though. I will do my best to get her husband's contact info and pray that he lets me continue to see Cate. I'm not very close to him though..I think it might be awkward. I live 4.5 hours away from them so this'll be hard for me to maintain a relationship if she doesn't keep her weekends. I have made 5 trips in the year she has been born. I love that baby. Try this link and see if you can see this picture: http://gallery.me.com/cajunrose#100117/Careysfamily%20%288%20of%2012%29 That's a pic I took of their family 6 months ago.

My cousin, who is more like my sister, had a baby a year ago. From the begining, it appeared that she didn't have the motherly instinct. She was very very 'by the book'...baby MUST eat at these times, must sleep at these times, etc. I guided her as best I could to try to break her apparent restraints. The baby makes the schedule...etc. She got better. Still...the baby's dad (my cousin's husband of 5 years) was much better with her than my cousin. My cousin was not raised in a stable home. She had pothead alcoholics for parents and they were abusive. We (my mom and dad) tried to help as much as we could, but it was hard. We were 5 hours away. Cutting to the chase....she emailed me yesterday. She left her family. 2 weeks ago (I KNEW something was up but didn't want to pry) she just up and left them. Said he could keep the baby...and left. Said she wasn't in love with her husband anymore and just wasn't happy with her life. I'm absolutely heartbroken....I just don't understand how she could walk away from her daughter. She's perfectly content with weekends...for now. I'm sure that'll fade too as time goes on. The only thing I can figure is that she THOUGHT she wanted the 'perfect life'...husband, 2.5 kids in the suberbs, etc. When she gets all of that, she figures out it isn't for her. It's heartbreaking really. I'm soooooo sad. I'm terrified that I will never see the baby again. I don't even have her husbands phone number or email address. I just needed to vent. My family (mom, dad and brother) don't know yet so I can't talk about it to them yet. *sigh* I'm screaming inside but have to remain silent for now...so I had to get it out somehow.

We never eat as a family. Actually...we eat in 3 separate rooms. I am a little sad about that, but honestly, I'm with my family (including my husband) 24/7. We spend a LOT of time together so I just had to let this one go. We WOULD eat as a family if I pushed it, but it's me that has the hang up..not either of them. The problem you ask? I have a severe aversion to hearing and seeing people eat. I can't even stand to be in the same room with somebody eating. I have always been this way..even as a child. It has gotten worse as I have gotten older. I nitpick to death. "Raelee stop brushing your teeth on that fork." "Todd, can you possibly close your mouth when you eat?" My husband just won't stand for it...and rightly so. I get near the point of vomiting when I am in the same room when they eat. I wish I were different, but I'm not. :(

I just replaced my OLD top loader with the agitator. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my washer. This is what I have: http://www.bestbuy.com/site/Maytag+-+5.0+Cu.+Ft.+13-Cycle+Washer+-+White-on-White/9746951.p?id=1218166153852&skuId=9746951&st=maytag%20washer&cp=2&lp=13 Been using it a month now and it cleans wonderfully! I actually LIKE doing laundry now. If you can, get a large capacity. I get my clothes washed in half the time. It's amazing. It cleans like a dream...no wear and tear yet on my clothes. I'm very very happy.

My family and I are starting a small flock. We are allowed 5 in the city limits. I'm trying to decide on breed..but ultimately, it'll probably be whatever I can get locally that we end up with. All of the places I have seen online have to have at least 15 shipped. I can't get that much. I'm so excited and stocked up with books, magazines, websites and a notepad! Loving this thread. :) Stephenie