I agree with recruiting men to help if you can. Another option would be to pair them up with a same gender older teen as their "buddy"---esp. finding older teen boys that will be good role models. Most of these kids are starving for attention and really will settle down but like you said, the expectations you have of them are vastly different than their home life experiences.

http://www.roadstoeverywhere.com/3RsPlusRead.html The I See Sam readers are great. VERY easy to use and they work. Check out the UK link as well to the story of my girls learning to read with them. I sound like a commercial when I suggest these so often but I get NO money from them (they are actually in the public domain now) but I have seen them help so many kids.

As I was reading, I was thinking, "I wonder if there is any fetal alcohol" then noticed you put this down at the very end. I do agree with getting some testing done through the schools. He might have some real learning difficulties that will require extra help and/or different methods. With fetal alcohol, it is repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat and then start the cycle all over again.

Time is short (I have to leave in a few minutes) but this is an EXCELLENT program for kids how are struggling. http://www.roadstoeverywhere.com/3RsPlusRead.html I used this to teach my 11dd with IQ about 80 to read using these books (when nothing else worked) and now my 13dd with an IQ much lower (tests at 38) is reading at a mid 2nd grade level now with these books and moving along nicely. Be sure to click on the UK link on the right as well. Our story is there under Ottakee. Best thing about this program is that it really only takes 10-15 minutes 1-2 times a day to be very effective. It is also not dependent on their writing skills.

They just might work for both of your kids. My 13dd has severe LDs along with a cognitive delay---her scores range from preschool to post highschool on various subtests. With these books she has learned to read at a mid 2nd grade level already and keeps moving along.

FIRST, if you have not done so already, go to a TOP NOTCH pediatric pulmonologist. This is beyond your reg. ped. Once we messed around with asthma attack for a MONTH before seeing a pulmonologist and in just a couple of days she was better. I would also see about allergy testing---foods were a HUGE one for my friend's kids. They went from 2-5 nebulizer treatments per DAY EACH to 2-5 treatments a YEAR between the 4 kids. Her kids had allergies to eggs, wheat, corn, soy, dairy and a host of other things (different kids, different things). For my dd, http://www.omegabrite.com 3 capsules per day and http://www.houstonni.com 1 of the Supremadophillus per day has really helped. In fact, I think we used the nebulizer once this past year. I would NOT though mess around until you see the pediatric pulmonologist and get a better handle on what is going on. Like they told me in ER once (when dd's O2 as at 74%) "if you can't breathe, NOTHING else matters".

When you talk to the doctor, ask for some basic blood work---CBC, blood sugar, lipids, THYROID (this is one I would really ask for), etc. Even kids can have thyroid problems. Another test, might be a strep titer as PANDAS (generally related to OCD) is caused by strep but it can be behind anxiety. I would also keep a food log, sleep log, etc. to see if you can notice any patterns. Also, when he sleeps, does he sleep WELL or he is really restless? Sleep problems can affect behavior as well. If nothing else shows up, I would follow up with a pediatric psychiatrist or developmental ped. to try to get to the bottom of this. [

I am trying Savings Angel http://www.savingsangel.com It is not available in all areas but has quite a few stores listed with the coupons you need., the % off, on line coupons to print, etc. I can't say yet how much I will save but it seems to be working. Yesterday I went to Walgreens and got $25 worth of stuff for $10--not huge, but OK savings. Today I went to the grocery store and using the few coupons I had, the on line ones I printed, following the sales, etc. I did pretty well. I got big boxes of Kellog's cereal for $1/box (normally $4.09). I got $1.85 salsa for $.35, etc. I came out of the store with $170 worth of stuff for $78. I did though have to buy a few items that I needed (flour, sugar, rice, etc) that were not on sale. Otherwise my savings would have been higher. Shopping did take me a bit longer but was well worth it. Even though I might have "saved" a great deal according to the full price of stuff, in reality my savings are a bit more modest. For example, they claim you save over 75% on the cereal when I bought the $4.09 boxes of cereal for $1..........BUT I would NOT buy the cereal for $4.09. I would have instead bought the store brand/generic on sale for $1.75-$2.00/box so in reality my savings were more like 40-50%. Then again we did get a higher quality cereal. Same with the bread---the really nice, $.299/loaf bread for 99 cents. In reality, I would not have bought the $2.99 bread but would have bought the store brand for $1.49---so really I saved 50 cents but again got a higher quality product for my money. For anyone intersted, they have a trial---buy 1 month, get 1 free. If you are interested, email me and I can give you my referral number.

Glad you and your son had that time. It is important for kids to know that they are loved no matter what. Sounds like you have tried many things. Here, the omega brites http://www.omegabrite.com really help but other things didn't do much. I would say that 80% of our changes come from meds. http://www.bpkids.org/site/DocServer/treatment_guidelines.pdf Is a good article on meds. I LOVE Lamictal but in this article (a few years old) they have more concerns about it. My girls are doing very well on their combo of meds right now.

http://www.roadstoeverywhere.com/3RsPlusRead.html This is a set of reading books that has been very effective with teaching kids with dyslexia and other learning challenges to read. For more information, click on the UK link on that site as well.

I was very impressed today. Last time I waited almost 2 hours to vote in a presidential election. Today I was in and out of there in about 10 minutes--from start to finish. They were basically waiting to help me every step of the way. Our news though is showing larger communties around us where the wait is 2-3 hours.

Just wondering how long the lines were in other places.

Honestly, bipolar is what came to mind as I read your post. I think it would be wise to rule out other medical issues--thyroid, food allergies/intolerance, blood sugar issues, etc. That said, I would also take a look at http://www.bpkids.org and http://www.bipolarchild.com for starters. The fact that HE does not like his mood swings either makes it more likely that it is a chemical/physical problem, not just a behavioral problem. Does the pdoc have a lot of experience with kids with bipolar? You want one that does and has a great deal of experience with the meds, latest treatments, etc. Do you have any family history of mood disorders, bipolar, depression, drug/alcohol abuse, etc.? The doctor will likely ask. My 13dd has bipolar but is doing very well with her meds now.

You are WISE to do this only if dh is TOTALLY on board. It will take the strength of 2 parents to do this. If the child realizes the house is divided, watch out. If your son is 11 I would look at kids under 6 or 7 to start with--depending on the maturity of your son.

yes, sometimes foster care workers will out right LIE about a child's needs/situations. Other times they "leave out" some information. Often though, they just dont' know themselves. I often did emergency care. The type of cases where the protective services worker calls and says "I have a child in my car, can I bring them to you?". Usually this gives you about 20 minutes to prepare for the child(ren)---the time it takes to drive from where they are to our house. The kids come with the clothing on their backs (often not even fit for the weather) and nothing else. Just another side thought---prepare for ALL kids to be bedwetters. Even if they say they are not, the trauma of the move often leads to wet beds, at least for a while. I keep plastic pads on the beds and pull up/Goodnights on hand and don't make a big deal about it. One more thing---often these kids will NOT appreciate what you are doing for them. Over time, maybe, but it is NOT like the movies where you "rescue" a child and they are forever grateful, helpful, loving, etc. Then again, the rewards can be great.

Oh, yes. I am currently using it with my 11dd and 13dd. There is nothing babyish or "age" related in the books. It is simple and effective. I just WISH they made something like this for math. Then I would be all set.

My husband and I were foster parents for over 100 children over a 10 year span. The youngest we had came at 2 days old (now our 11dd) and the oldest was a 17 year old girl with her 12 month old baby. We had single children up to sib groups of 4 and children from all races/ethnic backgrounds. If you can only take one child and a boy, I would make SURE that he is at least several years younger than your son. Foster child can expose your children to many things that you might not even think of. Foster kids can also act out what they have seen and been exposed to. Public school could be a good thing if it gives you a break from the child and time to give your son some 1:1 time. Another option is to take only preschool age children so you don't have to worry about school. Foster care generally pays about $350-400/month but often you have to provide transportation to visits, doctors, therapy, etc. out of that money. They have medicaid for medical costs. Often you get a check twice a year for clothing---$107 here which doesn't go far when the kids often come to you with NOTHING or next to nothing---like mine that would come in an adult T-shirt and undies--no socks, no shoes, no jacket, NOTHING. Younger kids (under 5) can get WIC which helps with some basic grocery costs. Adopting through foster care is generally very low cost (like under $200) or free. The emotional costs though can be very high as the process can take a LONG time, have many ups and downs as they consider relatives, returning the child home, etc. These children WILL have special emotional needs. After all there IS a reason they are in foster care. Often they will have medical, learning, health or other special needs. 75-80% have been s*x abused, many were drug/alcohol exposed, be at higher genetic risk for mental health issues, etc. Love goes a long ways to helping these kids but love is NOT enough for them. Some of them will have life long struggles due to things they had no control over. Not all of these kids will "catch up" in the right home. I sound like a big downer here but foster care is NOT like taking care of your friend's kids overnight. I have had a 6 week old preemie come with 4 broken bones, a 4 1/2 year old with human bite marks all over him from mom's boyfriend, a girl in a gang, tiny children left home alone, kids whose mom tried to commit suicide with them there, kids who hunted for food in dumpsters and rarely made it to school, a child I admitted to a psychiatric hospital, and on and on. I would suggest that you link up with other foster parents in your area to find out more how the system works in your area as well as to help develop a support system. Many of your non-foster parent friends can't really understand the struggles that these kids have gone through and you then go through trying to parent them. Foster parenting is a wonderful ministry and one I wish more Christians would consider but it is NOT for the faint of heart. As they say about the peace corp.......this is the toughest job you will ever love.

Have you seen an ENT? I would really see about the tonsils/adenoids. They made a huge difference in my son's articulation. Once they were removed we could understand him.

Have they looked at other physical issues? Things like overly large tonsils/adenoids, slight hearing loss, etc? I would think that he would be showing improvement by this time. Does he have weak muscle tone?

Glad to hear this. There is a discussion going on right now on the forums about using these books to get kids started off right and how they can prevent a lot of struggling readers. If you can, continue these books at his own pace through sets 4 or 5 and I think the results will really pay off. If you read through them this summer as well (only takes 10 minutes or so) he will start 1st grade ahead of the game.

Well, my 11 and 13 year old would still love something like this. If you can do it, I would. You could also post a "wanted" ad on Craig's List and search first for one cheaper. Our local store had one of those "penny ponies" for $200 this summer. If my girls were still 4 and 5 I would have picked it up in an instant. The love ANYTHING horse and still like the little pony rides--you know the 6 ponies that go round and round in a circle thing...........even though they have their OWN horse----a 16hh gelding that they can ride just about every day.

Can you find another therapist? I know not all therapists are the same but the one we saw would meet with the PARENTS first to discuss any progress, concerns, etc. and then meet with the child--either alone or with the parents there.

Again, I would try Apples and Pears. It has lots of sentences in it and it is super easy to use. It is a bit pricey but well worth it and the teacher's books can be used for future students or sold when you are done.

Apples and Pears http://www.soundfoundationsbooks.co.uk/ This is very easy to use and effective. I would not start it though until the child can read at a 2nd grade level.

I would certainly think about getting an evaluation done. With what you say, I would start with a pediatric psychiatrist or developmental pediatrician. Being a twin, was he preemie? Any problems during birth? What you mention--the meltdowns, temper, sensory stuff, being the "victim", etc. all fit with a mood disorder. Is there any family history of bipolar, depression, drug/alcohol abuse, nervous breakdowns, etc? Often mood disorders have a genetic link. Do you think that his mood changes rapidly? Do you walk around on "eggshells" at time around him? Those are other warning signs. Check out http://www.bpkids.org and http://www.bipolarchild.com for more information. Other things to consider are thyroid, blood sugar, food allergies/intolerances, etc. Any signs of seizures at all? I have a 13dd with bipolar and her toddler/preschool years were extremely difficult. Now on the right meds she does extremely well.