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Everything posted by mommybee

  1. Ours is something like this too but I have no idea the breakdown.
  2. In our troop the boys get a percentage of the amount they sell into their scout accounts. I wouldn't want to split it up like that cause the selling is hard and very time consuming. It takes a lot of effort.
  3. Because I don't want to yet. My house is going to be a fixer upper. I am not doing anything to it but getting it cleaned up. So the odds are we will not make as much but it will sell fast. I really didn't think I was going to have to sell and I'm not ready mentally. I just found out. I really don't understand why taking a few weeks is such a big deal. There isn't any point to meeting with one until I'm ready to list. I always intended to meet with one eventually. ***side note is that I have major anxiety because of past events. This man once moved me while sick and pregnant 500 miles when I wasn't ready. His friend showed up 2 weeks early and my ex said this is better for his friend so my stuff got thrown into trash bags. Nothing packed neatly in boxes. All rushed in less than a day because he brought the uhaul......so I need a few weeks to get some of my house packed and feel less rushed about it. Once I do that I will meet with a realtor. I still have actual bad dreams involving needing to leave somewhere but I'm not able to gather all my stuff.
  4. I have this whole other dynamic going on in that my oldest sons new wife doesn't like me so I don't see him very much but they spend a ton of time with the ex. So it really felt like they were taking sides. I got to spend some time with him last night cause he was showing me all the apartments in our area he had already checked out himself during his move. And it was nice to hear he isn't happy with his dad's behavior (and that includes stuff that isn't about me but new girlfriend and his new life) and he was kind of sad to lose his childhood home. He understands we have to sell but he spent time going through the rooms and drawers and reliving memories. It was touching. He's kind of a pack rat so he was looking for stuff to take as well. I think he really never imagined what it might be like when I happened.
  5. Basically that's what my lawyer said. I can take a little time to get the house ready and he can always file an order but that would take a month or two. I would work with him but his insistence it has to sell immediately isn't in my best interest. I'm only talking a few months here and then I will see a realtor.
  6. Scarlett is right.....I would love to stop the communication but my lawyer is expensive. And thank you.....sometimes I just need to hear I am doing ok.
  7. I just want to say I'm not a vindictive person. I don't try to get revenge. I always try to do what's best and accomidating. I always cave and do the nicer thing. But I'm tired.
  8. I don't intend to drag it out for endless months but I deserve a month or two to get my house and mind situated. I want this over and agreed to sell with him but I can't just clean and pack up all these years in a few weeks. And his email to me was really rude....he basically said "I gave you 10 days to adjust to the idea and research a realtor and since you didn't I picked one and you need to be there Wed at 630pm." I'm a people pleaser and I want to do the right thing but it isn't too much to ask for him to be patient. I am getting things done like cleaning the oven and clearing the garage and donating or throwing out what I can. All to make it easier when the time comes. But he needs to stop ordering me around. That's what my feeling was on an apartment. I think it just might be the best thing for this transition. I will start looking around my neighborhood and maybe even starting some applications. He just needs to realize houses don't sell overnight and he made me wait five months just to finalize a custody agreement yet he is demanding I do this now.
  9. Minor good news is my lawyer just got back to me ans she says he can't rush me like this. He has to file an order to require me to sell so I can breathe for a sec and get myself together. And for myself I need to stop reading his emails. He is very mature for his age and his older brother will probably bike or walk and meet him halfway. The traffic stinks so yes that's a challenge. He may just have to walk. And I dont have options if the weather is bad. There is no one who could pick him up regularly. MY son is 18 though and is beginning to get his permit so if I can get him driving by that time I would feel much better. But he has to get on it. I will start looking at aprtments and see what's around first so I have a better idea.
  10. Does it seem ridiculous that as much as I need the pace to slow I am anxious to get rid of this house and any connection I have left to him? He has put me through so much. Would an almost 13 year old do ok biking 4 or 5 miles home? Eventually my 18 year old will have his license but I can't plan for that. I have to assume youngest will need to walk or bike. Should I try for a house or an apartment? I think I am just in a mode where I need all of this ton just be over so no matter where I end up I can be free finally.
  11. My attorney has been very lax about everything and in order to get that back money it would just cost more in lawyer fees. I was already in too much to switch attorneys. It's a hard situation cause I've never done this before. I didn't know what to do. I was starting a brand new job, my son was starting public school for the first time and I'm just treading water. And it just all cost so much. Luckily I literally have no furniture that is valuable. Very few pieces of anything. I am glad to move and be done with taxes and insurance and all the other fees I have been paying on my own. MY house needs a lot of repairs and I hope to get some money out of it to pay off my debt. It's just the rush is hard and downsizing and finding the right place.
  12. I wish I could stall but he has gotten his way through the entire divorce. I am already out $8500 and counting. ALL because he stalled and payed me less support than I should have gotten for five months. Some how he is never held to any standards if decency. No after school care that I know of. Very little transit buses in my area. There is one that maybe he could take if his older brother meets up with him. The library is nearby but a lot of transients hang out there so it would be my last resort. It's a really tiny library.
  13. I'm trying to believe that but it's hard to see.
  14. He won't wait. New girlfriend lives long distance and he is going broke flying every other weekend. He just wants his money now. We've been separated 4 yrs and now it's all an emergency.
  15. I sound like a whiner but I really am baffled at how to make it all work. And his dad doesn't care...Just wants his money asap. I only wanted what was best for them and working full time is so hard on my own. I am failing. We will have to move just with volunteer help as far as I can tell.
  16. I can't switch schools on him when this is his first time in public school and he is doing really well.
  17. No school buses! So ridiculous but they were cut. I can't work anywhere else. I'm not worried about him being home especially since his older brother is home but there are not many available places close enough to walk. 3 miles or more and no sidewalks. Not the safest and I have no choice. His dad can't pick him up and my son isn't driving yet.I can't imagine him having to walk home so far but I have no choices.
  18. I appreciate all the advice....I'm taking notes. I have no family nearby to help or stay with so that's added stress. I still have two kids at home and apartments cost a fortune where I live. I don't get home from work in time to pick up my youngest from school and if we move we may end up too far for him to walk. I can't figure out what to do about this. He just started public school after being homeschooled his entire life. We don't know any families at school well enough yet.
  19. Thanks......I did have a junk pile picked up and I'm trying to give stuff away but selling is just not going to happen. Only problem is I'm being pressured to sell immediately so I don't have the time to just do a box or two here and there. That's what's so upsetting.
  20. The continuing saga of my awful divorce. I have lived in my home for 18 years and am being forced to sell it. Please give me your best packing and moving advice. I have no idea how to do any of this. I have never lived or moved on my own before. How the heck do I downsize from a home to an apartment? How do I find a place and time it just right? And any support would be appreciated. I know according to the law my home is just a piece of money waiting to be split but it has sentimental value to me and no one cares. I can't talk to my mom about it cause to her I should just get over it and move on. I'm feeling pretty alone. TIA :)
  21. I didn't finish reading the thread yet, but I secretly get a kick out of threads like this and usually share with the kids. Last night I was watching a reality show where the woman was talking about hanging out with her girlfriends and not wanting drama and she kept saying that she should be there "escapegoats".
  22. It's on Hulu but the commercials will be ridiculous! I pay for commercial free so that's where we watch it cause I don't have time to watch it live.
  23. Didn't realize they were the same but I like prepaying. Until recently I was a tech in retail and I was the only one at my store who even knew about it. I think I first read about it here funny enough.
  24. I've been using blink health. It's pretty easy and saves me money.
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