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Everything posted by mommybee

  1. Thanks to all that have responded. I hear all of it but it's just a hard combination of circumstances. It's so sad that I gave up my years of earning so my kids could have a better education and as of today my 19 yr old withdrew from college so he can try to work more hours and help me out with the rent. My divorce has been so dirty and he has refused to let me live here until A is done with high school....I tried but with a new girlfriend he wants his money. I obviously can't afford to pay the mortgage and rent so I'm struggling with timing there as well. I have 4 yrs of work history now. I am a pharmacy technician but retail was low pay and horrid. I am lucky enough to work for a big and awesome insurance company and I can't see leaving this job. It is really a good place to work with great insurance benefits. I can't just find another place right now like this. I planned to leave CA when A gets done with high school but I need him to have some stability. I hated being a latchkey kid whose mother was never around. So I'm trying my best. I will probably have to drive him to school but it will be way before school starts so he only needs to figure out a way home. I'd have him stay at the library but they are closed on Mondays. If he has to bus home it might work but I hate my options. We have a rare lucky day where we will at the state Fair tomorrow!
  2. I understand the thoughts but I can't leave the area. My entire region is high unless I moved really far and then getting to work would be a stressor. He starts school 8/10. I hope my income increases but it will be a few years. I can't help that I need the child support. I guess until desperation happens I'm just not capable of leaving. It's too much for me to imagine. I'm so confused.
  3. I have a tight budget because I have chronic health issues that cost me a lot of copays. I am trying to decide if its worth it to feel comfortable and safe which helps with my stress level. But being so tight I can't save money will stress me as well. I just don't know. I have high blood pressure now and I'm in constant stress mode. I am blessed that I am not needing government assistance and I know that but it's still not easy.
  4. I have a decent income and with child support I'm doing ok, so I don't need section 8, I'm grateful that I am getting by I just have never gone through this before. So for my house with all that's included I pay about $1500 that's including water, trash and sewer. These apartments I have been looking at are all $1500 or more, and some are so ugly they are not worth that. The one I liked is $1675 but then another $70 a month for water,trash and sewer. So it would be about 45% of my income. I will make a tiny bit from the house which will pay off the enormous lawyer debt so I won't have a lot of debt and I am a saver who has really good credit. My concern is of course getting stuck for a year with an amount that turns out is a bit beyond my ability. It seems like a bad idea, that's why I asked. I am considering the 1 bedroom idea but it seems difficult. My 19 just got a new job so I need to see just how much he can help but he isn't driving yet. If he was I would probably have him go live with his older brother so we could get something smaller. I probably sound like a whiner but I haven't moved in 20 years. I have always struggled for money even while growing up but we always had pretty decent places to live so I've never experienced living in a one bedroom with three people. So I guess I just can't visualize what that would look like for us.
  5. I'm just not going to be able to leave the area. I have no family to help me and I am just at my end of what else I can take. I don't want him to have to go to a different high school in some new area. He starts in less than a month and it's a really good public high school. It's not like I live in some great fancy area. I need to know when I'm at work that my boys are fairly safe walking to work and school. Thanks for all the good advice. I was pretty sure I wasn't comfortable with it. I do have an emergency fund so that's good and I don't want to waste it. There just is no way I will live with other adults. The thought of sharing that kind of space just bothers me even if it means we get a 1 bedroom instead. It may sound stupid to some but we've lived here 20 years. All my family is 500 miles away and I have my first good paying job but it's here. I can't just up and move away. The other cities around me are mostly the same but then my boys wouldn't know the area. The whole Sacramento region is in a rental crisis. My house isn't that great and my standards aren't really that high. I'm rambling, but I'm frustrated.
  6. All things to think about....thanks I have to count on the child support because without it we would be homeless. I just don't make that much money yet. I'm hoping my 19 yr old can contribute more so we'll have to see about that.
  7. There are three of us moving into a two bedroom so a roommate wouldn't work.
  8. I don't know anyone to carpool with. I will get a small amount that could supplement but then I won't be able to have some savings to count on. I don't want to move far and have to rely on anyone cause I will be stuck if something fails. He really had to be able to walk or maybe bike. All the rents here are ridiculous. My oldest has already been asked to pay a bit but he doesn't make a not of money yet.
  9. No buses at all for our schools unless your special needs. I can't believe it myself. Terrible transit system too. One bus he could use but it only runs every hour so he'd have a long wait when school is out. I would just prefer being in walking distance. Cause this particular bus only goes one way so to get to school he'd have a huge loop around just to get there. Both my boys are kind of sad we have to go from a house to apartment as it is. It's tough for us.
  10. Reductions are absolutely not an option. The market here is just too darn tight. And it fluctuates all the time. I tried. I was thinking maybe short term as an option. Yes he is just starting....it's been a horrible divorce and his dad just moved 600 miles away so I have no one to help pick him up for me. I'm kind of stressed about it all. :(
  11. So my house is about to be sold and I need a place where Aiden can walk to high school cause I work full time. Rents are ridiculous in my area....Northern CA.....and I have found a great location, nice looking place and so close to the school...but the rent is quite high for my income. How to I decide? It's the closest one I've seen that fits our needs. And there seems to be nothing available. The lesser ones really are cheap feeling. Kind of sucks! My children have known no other home so I'm struggling with moving as it is.
  12. And yeah I'm not farm material :)
  13. Yeah I know we all have a different comfort levels. I really am not a fan of potty humor either. I swear I've seen other posters comment on this before though so I can't be the only one. Not meant to be mean at all.
  14. Sometimes the only time I can read the board is while I'm eating and some titles are just gross!
  15. If you like to read true crime books this podcast is really good. True Murder:The most shocking killers in true crime history. Each episode he interviews an author. I also enjoy Sword and Scale but sometimes have to skip episodes cause the crimes are just too much for me to take.
  16. Thanks Liz CA for posting the video....just had fun watching it with my son. Congrats Rivka!
  17. Thanks so much for all the helpful info you've given me. I will be sure to include the travel to and from as well. I have no intention of allowing once a month visits but am trying to see what seems most reasonable. I would opt for longer but his dad works full time so he'd be left alone as far as I know and that won't work for me. I feel better now about the actual flying part. My boys are just really hurt by all of this. My older two aren't even speaking to him but they are adults. I think if they are spread put and not too frequent he probably could get his assignments ahead of time. It's just tough sending my son to an unknown place. All the pressure is on him because his brothers have no relationship right now with their dad so he focuses so much on him.
  18. Oh no this isn't the case. We actually were separated peacefully for four years and then he met a woman. He moved to be with her. Right now he is only interested in easing his guilt as well as torturing me. He is suing me for atrocious amounts of money currently. And he used to spend a ton of time with them but it stopped when he met her.
  19. His older brother has offered to fly with him the first time he goes so that's comforting. I asked him to come here and visit him and he is refusing. But this person has turned into something I don't recognize so thas not a surprise. I'm glad to hear some think once a month is a bit much too. We are just starting the negotiation on it so we'll see what happens. This man took over four months to agree to the first custody agreement so this is gonna be just as hard.
  20. Will the courts force a kid his age? I mean he wants to see his father eventually but not fly once a month as he wants him to. He is so worried cause this is my son that had to stop homeschooling and being in public school he has a lot of homework on the weekends. He wants to keep his good grades and he doesn't always know ahead of time which weekend will be a heavy homework one.
  21. Probably something like Southwest I'm assuming. It's within the same state I'm in so no connecting flights.
  22. I just need some reassurance that this is going to be ok. My 13 year old is probably going to be forced to fly and have visitation with his father who just moved away. How does this work best? I'm nervous and just need tips on how this can be done. I hate that he has to go alone and he doesn't want to go at all. I never fly so we have no experience in this. It stinks cause to the airport and back is going to take me hours and I already work a full time job. This man chose to leave his son and now we will have to do all the work. I'm just upset. My divorce has been a nightmare at this point. Anyways, of course he is paying so it isn't about money it's about me worrying about my kid flying in general. All tips will be appreciated......TIA
  23. I would react the same way. At xmas I was in a shopping center and I wasn't even in a rush or anything but it was packed......no parking barely moving cars. Some lady started yelling at me like I cut her off. I didn't see her at all and she walked right in front of my car. I was stunned. I just left and went somewhere else. It really bothered me.
  24. So sad.....Listen Without Predjudice is my all time favorite album that has comforted me through some rough times.
  25. I just bought the Echo Dot....any idea what are the differences between that and the full size product? I haven't figured out how to fully utilize it so this thread was helpful.
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