We already have Corelle dishes. They rarely broke in our previous house with wood laminate flooring, but are guaranteed to break here if anyone other than the 1 yo drops one. I feel like this house has a lot of wasted/unused space and a smaller house would provide the same amount of living space. There’s a big L-shaped bonus room with tons of storage closets, most of which aren’t being used because the kids won’t stay out of them or the things in them. The bonus room will eventually be converted into one or maybe two small and non-conforming bedrooms plus a lot of hallway (because the other bedrooms are behind it). Half the family room is unusable because of a fireplace in the middle of the room, so the space behind it is just a narrow hall/passage, plus there’s a wet bar we will never use. There’s a big eat-in area that really can’t be used for anything because you have to walk through it (and around a table) to get to the kitchen, dining room, back door, laundry room, or bedrooms upstairs. I would have liked to use the dining room for a playroom but the eat-in really isn’t practical as a dining area. DH is willing to do some things, but it takes him a long time to get around to doing projects. It's also very difficult to agree on what to do/whether to do something as his perspective, tastes, etc are almost always the opposite of mine. I wasn’t looking at this house as a project house when we bought it but it’s kind of turned into one. The grout in the main level needs to be cleaned. It’s pretty disgusting to see grout that’s supposed to be light tan but is dirt brown. It’s going to take me hours and hours to clean it (1000+ sq ft of tile), and then it needs to be sealed, and who knows how often that all would need to be redone. The tile is mostly travertine which has little holes which also are dirt brown and gross looking and need cleaning. I tried to get DH to hire someone to clean and reseal but he doesn't want to. I hadn’t initially planned on removing all the wallpaper but I’ve done 3 rooms and have 1 more to go upstairs, and two downstairs. We haven’t even started repainting all that. We’re hiring someone for the living room but I know he won’t pay someone to repaint the one kid bedroom that needs done, so either I’ll end up doing it, or waiting around forever for him to do it. There's nice woodwork that needs to be maintained somehow. At least walls can be painted, but how do you remove Sharpie on pine paneling, or highlighter on rough-hewn paneling? It’s really overwhelming to think about it all. I did get an intercom system for DD’s room. We’ll see if it helps much. I have a video baby monitor set up in the family. It works ok when they stay in there and not in the bonus room (they don’t follow rules so it doesn't work to tell them to stay out of it), and nobody’s moved or unplugged the camera. I ordered a stick vacuum to vacuum the tile also. I’m sure a Roomba would get broken one way or another though i have considered getting one.

One of the problems with both the paneling and the fence is DH's unwillingness to change them. I want to paint over the paneling in at least one room, and remove the rough-hewn stuff in two of the bedrooms, and I don't know if he'll go for any of that (he likes all of it). We have had several discussions about the fence and he is unwilling to change it. We could probably sell this house for a good bit over what we paid once we finish removing the wallpaper on the main level and repainting (4 rooms worth...the wallpaper is gone in 3 of them but none are repainted yet), at least enough to cover closing costs and realtor fees. It's a nice house overall in a desirable area, and it's a seller's market currently. Regardless, we can afford to pay closing costs again. We can buy another house without selling this one also, without strain, so would not need to show it while living in it. Convincing DH would be the problem, not the finances. I didn't love this house when we bought it. DH loved it, but I always had serious reservations about it. I agreed to it because we really needed more space, because I really needed some space to myself which I didn't have in our previous house, and because I don't like open floor plans and most houses in the price range we were looking at had them and this one didn't.

We moved into a new house about a year ago. Our previous house was just under 2000 sq ft, this one is 3300 sq ft. There are things I really like about this house (the dining room, the main floor laundry room, nice kitchen and bathrooms). I hadn't really wanted a house this big, though, and it often just feels too big, and like too much work to keep up with. Part of it is the layout--the stairs to the basement come out at one end of the family room, and to get to the bedrooms, you have to walk all the way through the family room and then through a large bonus room. Part of it is the tile--the whole main level is tile except for the living room and master bedroom. I don't like the fact that it's impossible to get all the crumbs/dirt off it--stuff gets caught in the grout or in the crevices of the travertine tile, and so I'm always stepping on crumbs no matter how often I sweep. Also, we break a few dishes a month due to dropping things on tile. It looks nice, but it's not very practical. Part of it is the difficulty of keeping track of kids in a big house, and of childproofing this particular house. It's semi-open, open enough to make gating off rooms/areas difficult, closed off enough to make line-of-sight with kids mostly impossible. Part of it is all the woodwork. The previous owners were obsessed with wainscotting/paneling, and all four bedrooms have paneling and/or wainscotting, as do the family room, bonus room, and dining room. Most of the basement paneling is rough-hewn pine, which is super impractical with kids (splinters, anyone?). Part of it is the fencing. The fence at the front of the back yard is brick, which means my 3 yo can easily climb over it, so I can't send him out to play alone or with siblings (because they don't watch him and he climbs and escapes). Yes, eventually we won't have young kids anymore...but the bedroom layout is still going to be a pain, and it will be quite a few years before I don't need to keep good track of kids anymore. Idk...is it worth looking for a smaller house and all the hassle of moving because of some things I don't like about this one?

I'm looking for a fun board/card/dice game I can play with my older kids (ages 6, 9, 11, & 14). It needs to be something that can be played in 30 minutes or less (preferably less). Any suggestions?

Stuff that had sentimental value. I go through phases where I just want stuff gone, so I declutter ruthlessly, but I really regret some of the sentimental value items I’ve decluttered. I gave away a figurine last year that a favorite aunt gave me years ago, and a couple days later she died. I so wish I still had that. I also regret giving in to DH wanting to declutter some things that had sentimental value, like certificates from my law enforcement days, a decorative tray my grandma gave us for a wedding gift (I never used it but it was pretty and I wish I’d hung on to it), and some award plaques from DD’s 3 years in a Christian school. I can never replace any of that and it makes me sad.

Paint which room? The bedroom? Idk what color I could paint it that would help. There is sooo much painting to be done already. I've stripped wallpaper off in three rooms and they all need to be painted now, and I still have a hallway and entryway that need wallpaper removal then painting. Hopefully the bedroom carpet with be replaced in the next year or so with something more neutral, probably a beige or greige carpet. I’m not sure the counter clashes with anything. The picture I posted isn’t true to color—the parts that look gray in the picture are actually brown.

I was going to do the room in white and cream with purple accents, and get a white nightstand and white sheets and bedskirt and the cream would be the walls and curtains and glider cushions. But then DH bought me that gray nightstand so now I don’t know where to go with the room. We’re looking at getting a small freestanding fireplace also, hopefully either a grey or white one. Maybe I’ll still get white sheets and bedskirt and keep an eye out for a used glider with gray cushions, and do gray and white...but then there’s those cream curtains so idk. I love my comforter and don’t want to replace it, and DH dos his own thing with comforters anyway (the gray blankets on his side are covering up the green comforter he uses).

If you’re thinking about getting something for at-home use, you might keep an eye on your local Facebook marketplace. Ours frequently has treadmills and elliptical machines listed for under $200, often half that or less.

I’m sorry. The gym I go to is like what you’re looking for, except they do play loud music during the exercise classes. DH joined one that is and ritzy and overwhelming. He asked if i wanted to join it too and I said, “Nope.”. I don’t like it and the daycare is about $3/hr per kid. My gym has free daycare for all of them under 12..

DH objects to long curtains. And moving the bed. And headboards. Sigh. I did try a couple different gray curtains but the darker ones made the room look too dark and the pale ones had the same issue as the white curtains of looking funny against the warm walls.

I did not know that, but the door on this one actually opens flat against the washer so it’s not in the way.

I have a small (about 6'x7') laundry room. DH is going to put a countertop on one side so I can use it for a folding area. I picked a pre-fabricated countertop but now that we've bought it I'm having second thoughts. It's a dark countertop, a mix of black and medium brown, and I'm not sure if it will make the space look too dark. We recently replaced the old dark brown cabinets that were over the washer and dryer with white ones, and getting the brown cabinets out really made the room look much brighter. I don't want it to be dark again... I've attached a couple of pictures. I do have a dark colored rug on the floor (floor is light tan tiles), and could maybe replace it with a lighter colored one to brighten things up (but not too light colored as it will get stepped on regularly with wet and dirty boots since the door to the garage opens into the laundry room). Also, could use some opinions on which curtains to use for the master bedroom. We've had the white ones on the left up for a few months, but the walls are off white and the contrast between the walls and the stark white of the curtains seems off to me. I got the curtains by the bed to try out, and I like them a lot, but I'm not sure if the color is ok with the rest of the room. They're a very dark cream. There are mostly grays in the room and a touch of purple, except for the white in one comforter and the cream cushions of the glider. Carpet is blue with greyish undertones.

My 8th grader has been doing TT pre-algebra but doesn't seem to really understand fractions, decimals, or percents, so she stopped TT to do Key to Fractions, Decimals, and Percents. It's going to take her at least a couple months to work through the Key to... books and I'd like to add another program to finish out pre-algebra rather than going back to TT pre-algebra and having to do math through the summer or carry it over to next school year. I was thinking of either using Khan Academy or the 3 Life of Fred pre-algebra books. Which would be better, or is there another program someone would recommend? DD is non-mathy.

I have a top loading GE with a full size agitator that works well. I don’t know the model but it must be a higher end one because it has all the features...soak cycle, several extra rinse options, etc. We’ve only had it a couple years but this far it has held up well to a dozen or so loads a week.

Too much. My 6, just turned 9, and just turned 11 yo’s watch 1 to 1.5 hrs of movies most days so I can take a nap and have a bit of down time. They will not be quiet enough for me to nap unless they watch a movie, and I need naps. Then they have 30 mins of game time each (in theory...actually they end up with 5 to 20 mins each after I take away the time they lose each day for misbehaving). I don’t like giving them game time and really they seem quite obsessed with it, but losing game time is one of the only consequences that works for the older two so they get it so I can take time away. They often spend some time watching TV with their dad in the evenings also as I cannot convince him that they don’t need even more screen time. They usually get less screen time on the weekends.

My 13 yo DD has been having lots of stomach problems, especially after she eats. They were getting worse and worse, to the point where her stomach hurt for much of the day, and I told her she needed to stop eating dairy for a while to see if that helped (she had problems with dairy when she was younger). She avoided dairy for a few days and her stomach problems improved quite a bit, but didn’t completely go away. I think she needs to avoid gluten for a while also to see if gluten is contributing to the problem. The problem is getting her to go along with it, especially at this time of year. We don’t normally eat gluten at home (we have no family history of celiac but I have problems with gluten and various kids do off and on). But she eats it regularly at her youth group and various other events (probably 2-3 times a week). It’s relatively easy to substitute gf foods for the desserts she normally eats away from home, but she doesn’t like any of dairy alternative products she’s tried and is balking at avoiding ice cream, eggnog, and cheese over the holidays. She wants to eat what she wants at special events, but when there are two or three special events a week this time of year, that’s not working. I’m afraid she will develop IBS or other chronic stomach problems if she doesn’t figure out and stop eating her problem foods (btdt myself). Any suggestions on helping her to stick to a gfdf diet, other than substituting gfdf alternatives when she’ll eat them?

It doesn’t seem to matter who explains it to her, she just doesn’t get it. This has been an ongoing math issue, where she doesn’t understand the instructions, so I explain it to her one way, and she doesn’t get it, so I explain another way and she still doesn’t get it. She is just not good at math, or science, or grammar, or anything school-related.

DD is doing Teaching Textbooks pre-algebra. This is her 2nd year using Teaching Textbooks. She is not particularly math-y. She does not really understand fractions or percents. She can't seem to keep track of what "of" means (as in, what is 2/5 of 60?). I don't know where to go from here. IIRC last year TT7 was covering mainly fractions, decimals, and percents, and the year before that she did CLE 6 and I know that introduced fractions at least, so it's not like she has never worked with them before. They just are not clicking for her. When I try to explain how to work a fraction problem, for example, it's quite frustrating because she seems utterly incapable of wrapping her brain around how to work with fractions. I don't know if I should have her go back to the beginning of TT pre-algebra and watch all the lectures again and go through all the practice problems (she's been skipping all the practice problems which is another issue), or try to approach this from another angle. Is there a supplement that might be helpful? I don't think switching programs would help because she struggled with them in CLE also.

I spent a lot of time doing those things the first several years we attended this church. I've made a meal every time someone had a new baby or asked for meals after a surgery. We've had most of the families in the church over for dinner. I've done at least one playdate with most of the moms who have kids the age of my older ones. I know most of the families reasonably well. There is only one other family with a child under 5. Then there are a lot of kids in the 6-11 age range. But bigger families are really the norm here--most of the families in the church have 4 kids, one has 5, and one brings 5 or 6 grandkids every week. I think it is partly that people get in their groups and then they don't notice people who aren't in their group.

It's just the 1 & 3 yo sitting with us. The older ones already sit with the other kids. I'm not sure it's primarily a kid thing, because I first noticed that people weren't sitting with us at potluck about 6 years ago, and at the time there were two other families with babies and toddlers, and they didn't seem to have the same issues with no one wanting to sit by them.

**Please don't quote** I've had some problems with social anxiety for the past few years. It's only at group events, and most of the group events I attend are church-related. We got to a small church with about 85 members. We've gone to the same church for 11 years so we know most of the people. It seems to be a combination of off-and-on issues with depression, low self-esteem, and some less-than-positive experiences at group events causing the social anxiety. I feel like it's a vicious cycle at this point, where I hang back and have a hard time interacting with people at group events, which causes other people to think I'm stuck-up or something and avoid talking to me. I feel like there must be something wrong with me, because other people don't seem to have this problem. I am not good at small talk or at joining groups of people, and I am very quiet and a strong introvert by nature. Typically when I attend a group event, it seems like everyone is in already talking to someone else and there is no one available to talk to. Sometimes I go around and looked for someone that I want to talk to (sometimes I find someone, sometimes I don't), or I stand there by myself feeling stupid or trying not to cry, which makes it really difficult to even try to talk to someone. People rarely come up and start a conversation with me on their own initiative, other than to say hi in passing. I don't know why this is--for my whole life I've always been the one to initiate get-togethers with friends also, with the exception of one friend in my entire life. It's not like I don't have friends, I do have a few. Two of my friends have told me several times that they're really glad I'm their friend and they're thankful I initiate get-togethers with them. I feel like people like me, more or less, but don't really value me as a person, if that makes any sense. We have a monthly potluck at our church and about 2/3 of the time DH and I and our younger kids sit at a table alone. There are two or three "adult" tables (as opposed to the ones where the kids all sit) but people don't usually sit with us unless there are no open seats at the "adult" tables, which makes me feel like dirt. I'm always one of the first adults to sit down because the younger kids get food first so I get food for my younger kids and myself and then sit down. I also don't understand why people don't really open up to me (except for friends). For example, we went to a Harvest party on October 31st. I sat down next to a young adult that we know well. I asked her a few questions and she talked a little bit. Then DH sat down at the table and asked her basically the same things and she told him so much more than she'd told me. I've noticed many times that I'll ask someone questions but they don't reciprocate by asking me questions. This is even true of people I know like me just fine and are extroverts who talk a lot! Anyway, I'm just wondering if there's something I can do to try to overcome this social anxiety. I've thought about talking to a counselor about it but it's difficult to find one who's actually helpful (I've tried, for various issues).

I think maybe my boys (the older ones are 6, 9, and 11) would be less wild if they got more exercise. They play outside for at least two or three hours most days, but that doesn't seem to be enough. Ideally they'd each run for 15 or 20 minutes before we start school each day, but the sidewalks were already covered with snow and/or ice for half of October, so that's not a very practical idea. Exercise videos will NOT work--they'll get themselves super wound up and be even more wild. What else could they do to burn off a lot of energy before we start school each day? Does exercise later in the day, like swimming or martial arts, carry over to the next day in terms of less wildness/crazy energy?

I would probably pay $8/hr if they did a good job. FWIW the three mother's helpers that I've hired that were about that age had a very hard time trying to keep track of or entertain more than one kid. But I was baby-sitting 2 or 3 kids at 12, so...I guess it depends on the 12 YO. I wouldn't expect more than the mother's helper playing with them, and maybe giving them a pre-made snack, unless your mother's helper is exceptionally capable.

We’re shopping for a couch set or sectional for our family room. I’m not sure what type of couch would hold up best to kid abuse. My kids are very hard on everything. We currently have a really nice leather couch set that we bought used in our living room. I really like the wipe-clean ability of the leather with kids, and it’s held up well so far, but DH doesn’t think leather is really comfortable to sit on. Before that we had a series of regular fabric couches, and the back cushions/padding tore away from the frame on two of them due to kids laying/climbing on the backs. We’ve never had a microfiber couch so idk how well those hold up. I have heard that they really attract pet hair, and we do have a cat.

I’m trying to figure out if my 13 yo’s school day is too long. How long does school take your 8th grader? Does instrument practice count as part of their school day? I’d especially like to hear from anyone who leans more toward CM or non-rigorous schooling.