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caedmyn

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Everything posted by caedmyn

  1. DD14 is doing IEW’s Following Narnia vol. 2 for writing. She’s already done SWI-B. The Story Sequence chart doesn’t make sense to me and DD has no clue how to do the assignment (which is to write a 3 paragraph outline using the story sequence chart from a 3 page source text). I understand answering the questions in the chart, but the outline samples don’t actually follow that format. Is there a simpler way to teach this to a particularly clueless kid? I had her narrate the source text back to me thinking she could do the outline from her narration but her narration basically covered the first and last paragraphs and skipped all the ones in between.
  2. My almost 12 yo seems to be in the beginning stages of puberty. He has always been a very difficult kid—willful, impulsive, and emotional. Now it seems that he spends part of each day either crying because life is so unfair (because I didn’t let him do something he wanted to do or he had a consequence for being defiant to me or nasty to his siblings), or stomping around being nasty to everyone. If he gets what he wants and his siblings are as nice as he thinks they should be to him, he’s fine. If not, he’s pretty unpleasant to be around. I don’t see this improving any time soon. How do you survive puberty with a really difficult kid?
  3. **PLEASE don't quote--will delete later for privacy.** My 9 & 11 YOs are friend with a girl and boy (siblings) who are close in age to them. DS11 considers the boy (I'll call him A) to be his best friend. We used to live near them and they saw them weekly but we've moved a bit further away and they don't see them often now. The older sister of the two kids often babysits for us, and the mom periodically asks about having my kids over there or have one or both kids come over here. The problem is that these kids don't follow rules, lie, and generally tend to act up. The last several times my kids have played with them there has been some sort of incident. Now my kids are far from angels, and are not particularly truthful themselves, so I generally take what they say with a few grains of salt. However, there's been enough incidents with these other kids and enough that I've observed myself that in these instances I believe what my kids are reporting. I'm willing to let them play with these kids very occasionally (maybe 3-4 times a year max), but not more than that. I know the mom of the other kids has figured out that I stall when she asks to set something up, and I really need to find a way to just say something to her and address the situation head-on (hopefully in a tactful way). I'm not sure how to do that though. These are the incidents that have happened with these other kids in the past year: 1. A. came over to play while his sister was mother's helper-ing for me. I intended to be there the whole time and keep a close eye on him but it turned out that my husband's truck was in the shop for several days and it was finally ready that afternoon and I had to take DH to pick it up and ended up being gone for 1.5 hours. During this time A. and DS11 got into my DD14's bedroom and took some candy (her door has a passcode lock on it but there was a cat door installed in the door and they were able to unlock the door through the cat door). I didn't find out about this for a day or two. I should have said something to the mom when I found out, but I didn't. 2. My older 5 kids went to their house for a couple hours to go swimming in their pool. I didn't stay (the mom was fine with this and has babysit my kids a number of times so I was ok with it). DS11 told me afterwards that A. tried to lock my then-3-yo in the trunk of one of their vehicles but he didn't let him. I feel confident that this happened and was not just a story DS11 told because he doesn't like to tattle on his friends (only his siblings!), and he's very protective of his little brother. Also, DD told me 6+ months later that when they were swimming that day, A. grabbed the bottom of her swim suit and yanked down on it like he was trying to pulling it off. She had a one piece swimsuit on so he was not successful. 3. A. & his sister came over here for a couple hours. DH was here for part of the time and I took a shower while he was supervising them. DH told me after I got done showering that A. was kicking an interior door that we keep locked during the day to keep the boys out of it (this is a door to our bonus room and the entrances to DH's office and DD's room are through the doorway). DH was very unhappy about this and does not want A. around anymore. DS11 told me that he told A. not to kick the door but A. wanted to break it down kicked it anyway. After they left, the mom texted me asking if A. and his sister had done something that bothered DD because they'd told the mom that she called them airheads and another name that I can't remember, and told them to get out of her house. Now DD did NOT want them to come and said so several times in front of her brothers before the visit, and I suspect this got repeated to them. However, DD denies saying any of those things. She is generally truthful and I do believe her. She frequently calls her brothers jerks but I have never heard her say either of the names A. and his sister said they were called, and it seems out of her character for her to tell them to get out of her house. Also, I know that she was in her room almost the entire time they were here because she didn't want to be around them. 4. Shortly after this DS11, DS9, and DS7 went to their house to go swimming. When I picked them up, they all told me that A. had got in trouble a lot for saying and doing things he shouldn't. DS9 & DS7 insisted that he said the F-word several times and called them and his sister derogatory names. DS11 says he didn't say any of that. The younger boys also told me that the mom said that they should just say that he said bad words and not say the specific words he said. I am not sure whether she was trying to prevent them from telling me what he actually said or not. One of my kids has used the F word here on a few occasions which is absolutely not ok in my house, particularly since small brothers tend to pick up any bad language the older ones use, so I am not keen on them being around other kids that say it regularly. (Yes, I know kids like to and do say the F-word...several of our young neighborhood kids like to use it...it but at these ages I'm not comfortable with my kids being exposed to it.)
  4. Help me think this through. Somebody DH works with has had his daughter from out of state visiting the last 5 days. She just tested positive for covid. It’s extremely likely that she was exposed out of state (we have not have new cases in our area in weeks and have only had a few new cases in the entire state in the past few weeks). The co-worker got tested today but doesn't have the results yet. I don't think he has any symptoms. He was at work all day today. I'm trying to figure out what the local heapth dept is likely to want to do with all the people who this guy worked with today, and how that will trickle down to me. I assume that if he tests positive they will want all his co-workers from today to quarantine. I'm thinking if he tests negative nobody (but him obviously) will need to quarantine. My main concern is that I have a thyroid biopsy scheduled for Monday and I want that to get done. If DH comes home tonight, and his co-worker tests positive, am I likely to have to reschedule my biopsy because DH will have to quarantine?
  5. The youngest would sleep in a toddler bed til age 5 or 6. My oldest will likely be out of the house in 4 or 5 years so we’ll probably have another bedroom available by the time he needs a regular sized bed.
  6. We want to get a bunk bed for the room my 3 yo and 11 yo share. Our almost 2 yo will eventually be in that room also. DH wants a twin over full so we can use it as a guest bed also. We do not have any other space for a guest bed. However, we very rarely have overnight guests other than my parents (maybe 2-3 times a year, usually a single person). My parents prefer to sleep on our couches and wouldn’t use a guest bed. DH also thinks the twin over fulls are sturdier than regular bunk beds, which would be a good thing if they are as my boys are wrecking machines. But the bedroom they share is on the small side, about 10x12, and it has a large dresser in it already, so a full bed would take up more of the limited floor space. Also, I think my boys would try to jump from the top bunk to the bottom with a twin over full. Is it worth getting a twin over full, or should we stick to a regular bunk bed?
  7. I’m having a hard time figuring out what reasonable screen time limits are for my 14 yo. She can easily spend 5 or 6 hrs a day on her tablet, between messaging friends, using nanowrimo, playing games, watching Netflix, etc. That's not even counting time spent listening to music, which involves a fair bit of screen time too due to time spend searching playlists for songs, switching between songs, finding new songs, etc. It’s nothing like the low-tech options we all grew up with which only involved switching out tapes or CDs and changing the radio station. I’ve been giving her an hour a day of free time on her tablet and leaving her messaging apps and music unblocked during daytime, non-school hours (so they don’t count toward her free time). But she’s been spending several hours a day messaging friends (not due to coronavirus as our schedule is very similar to the pre-coronavirus one we had) and I think that is excessive. She wants nanowrimo unblocked also. Even if I limit her to 1 hr of nano, 1 hr of messaging, 1 hr of free time, 1 hr of Netflix...that’s 4 hrs a day, not counting school screen time, and that’s just too much. What screen limits have you set (pre-coronavirus) with your younger teens?
  8. From what I've heard it's basically impossible to get the public schools here to do testing if your kid doesn't go to the school (actually it seems to be extremely difficult to get evals even if your kid goes to the schools). Maybe it could be forced with a lawyer, but by the time I spent the money for a lawyer it'd probably be close to the price of psych evals. Maybe I'll just wait til it gets to the point where I need more information to keep going with him and then push for evals. I don't need them now. He's already doing Barton with a tutor and I already make accomodations for him and he's doing fine. I think that at some point it'll be really helpful to know exactly what his issues are, but that's not right now.
  9. DH would never ask about that stuff because it has never crossed his mind that those could be issues.
  10. I’ve found a Barton tutoring place a few hours from us that does some testing for dyslexia and other things for a decent price. They don’t use the Barton tests but some others. I’m considering getting my 7 yo tested. I already know he’s dyslexic but it would be nice to have someone confirm it, and to have a piece of paper saying he’s dyslexic for DH. My main reason for doing testing would be for any additional information the testing would provide. This is my 4th kid with dyslexia and he appears to be the most severely dyslexic and also the glitchiest kid overall. I suspect he has pretty low working memory and processing speed, even compared to his dyslexic siblings. He’s also somewhat uncoordinated in general and seems to have some visual issues (tracking etc) though he has only been evaluated by an OT for that. The basic dyslexia screening they do includes the CTOPP and WIAT-3 subtests for early reading skills, word reading, pseudo-word decoding, alphabet writing fluency, spelling, sentence composition, and reading comprehension. They can add on the Developmental Test of Visual Processing and WIAT-3 subtests for listening comprehension and oral expression. What kind of useful information am I likely to get from these tests?
  11. My 11 yo somehow got his thumb jammed inside our hoverboard earlier this afternoon. Apparently he was touching the wheels while they were spinning (while sitting next to the hoverboard) and somehow his thumb got carried up between the wheel and the standing platform. The first joint of his thumb is quite bruised on the inside (palm side of hand) and somewhat swollen and he has a couple minor lacerations. He says it hurts too much to bend it and he can't grasp anything with it, but that it doesn't hurt unless he touches something with it. He also says the tip of his thumb is a bit numb. He tends to overreact big time to pain so it's difficult to to evaluate his injuries because of the drama involved. I'm debating about whether to take him to urgent care tonight or wait and see how it is tomorrow. Dh thinks we should splint it and wait and see. Is there a reason to go tonight vs waiting for tomorrow? We have 2 hrs til they close. I would have to take all 6 kids with me to urgent care as DH is working. Coronavirus is not really a concern here currently (14 cases total for a 60,000 person country) but urgent care may not be thrilled with me bringing that many people in.
  12. I have a few who most definitely fit the criteria for ADHD (not diagnosed cuz DH doesn't believe in such things). My most ADHD child is DS11 who was the most active kid I have ever seen from ages 1 to 5 or 6. When he was 6 mo old we attended an hour long event and he stood up on my lap holding my fingers and bounced himself up and down for the entire thing. He was very fast and constantly moving and climbing. Nothing ever wore him out. I think he was 5 or 6 before he made it through an entire meal without falling out of his chair repeatedly (and then only because we got one of those wobble seat cushions). I have since seen one other kid who is probably even a bit more active as a toddler/preschooler, and then my current 3 yo rivals DS11 for activity level. DS11 was also so incredibly impulsive. He was a runner, and a Houdini...nothing was ever enough childproofing to keep him out of stuff. He was (is) what I call a "more" child...louder, more dramatic, stronger, faster, more ingenious, just more of everything.
  13. I think things should open up on a state by state basis (area by area even), just as they shut down. I definitely think my state should open up. I don’t think people are going to comply well if the governor extends the shutdown again. We have less than 400 cases for the state and 7 deaths (Montana). They’re saying we’re already past our peak. I live in the 3rd largest county and there are 13 cases here. This is NOT worth the economic cost or disruption to lives cost here. If there’s a plan to open back up, it’s not being publicized. The current stay at home orders extend to the 24th. Use some caution, start slow, fine, but things need to open back up here. Dh's job has been affected (much less work) but is considered essential so he still goes to work. I don't know anyone who has had COVID. If things open back up I’ll encourage hand washing (though frankly it seems like a lost cause here...1 yo sucks his thumb and 7 yo picks his nose constantly, plus my 11 yo is always putting stuff in his mouth so chances are good someone would touch their nose or mouth before I could have them wash their hands) and use common sense but we’ll resume our normal life as much as we can. Everyone here is low risk and I am not particularly worried about it for us.
  14. I hope they will move toward doing this here in Montana (contact tracing and quarantine contacts). The latest projected estimates for numbers here said total deaths reduced from an estimated 280 to 22 (these are projections, current deaths at 6). Currently we have about 300 cases and have been in stay at home mode for 10 days. Schools never reopened after the first cases were diagnosed. I think we've flattened our curve and now the focus should shift to what can be reopened and how to keep things under control without destroying the economy. I am sure the governor will extend the stay at home order which currently ends on the 10th for another 2 weeks though.
  15. We're probably spending less overall since I lost both my school-time sitters and my once-a-week sitter. We have been getting take-out more often. I go back and forth between thinking I should be careful in case DH's job take a big hit (he's working in the used car industry so pretty dependent on the economy overall, though he's unlikely to be out of work entirely), and thinking I should buy the things I really want in case I can't later.
  16. My 3rd, 5th, and 8th graders are using Teaching Textbooks for math this year. I want to switch to something non-computer-based next year. My 8th graders has been asking to use Saxon for years since that's what most of her friends use for math. Does Saxon generally work well for dyslexic kids?
  17. My 3rd, 5th, & 8th graders are using Teaching Textbooks this year. I want to switch to something non-computer-based for next year but am not sure what. It needs to be non-teacher intensive. I don't mind explaining something if they don't understand, but I can't be the one teaching all the math concepts. My 8th grader used CLE math for a couple years and it seemed decent, but they don't have high school math past Algebra I so I don't know if that would work for her. I'm a little afraid my boys will rebel against doing boring black and white math after T.T. Any other suggestions?
  18. No 2nd adult at home, but I'm ok with leaving the 11 yo or 9 yo at home alone for a short period of time. I've only done it a handful of times, mostly the 11 yo, but it's gone ok each time so far.
  19. I get what you are saying here, and this is all probably what my kids need, but I cannot do it. Trying to do divided attention tasks/multi-tasking is really hard for me due to brain fog issues and closely supervising a bunch of kids who have no real interest in cooperating requires a great deal of divided attention. I can do it a few times a day for short periods, but even then it's highly stressful and exhausting. I can't do it all day long. I need to do more of a triage method, or something. How do you even get them to do whatever activity you assign when they're playing together? I have tried assigning activities, but pretty much every time one or both kids just refuses to do it so I've given up on doing that. Cooperation/obeying is a huge issue here.
  20. We're not actually following the schedule I posted, it's just what I want to do. They currently have lots (far too much) free time to run around being wild. They can be outside safely alone but bickering/fighting is an issue. I don't generally ask the other kids to play with the 3 yo during school time because it doesn't usually work out. Either the one I ask to play with him goes off and does their own thing and ignores him, or they decide to play something loud and wild which disturbs others. So I keep him occupied with activities as long as I can and then turn on a movie for him. We've had sitters during school time off and on this year which is great when we do, but we're unlikely to have one for the rest of the year.
  21. There really have been no limits on outdoor time but they aren't spending that much time outdoors. I think it's partly because we have a big house and apparently it's more fun to jump on the furniture and climb on the wet bar and the door frames and run around the house screaming than to play outside. They like to climb and we have nothing to climb outdoors (no climbable trees) and no swing set or fort (DH says he'll build them this spring/summer, which may or may not actually happen). Maybe we just need to get a trampoline and hope nobody breaks their neck. They do have bikes, scooters, roller blades, and wiggly boards to ride. They actually get quite a bit of exercise...but lots of it is in the form of indoor wildness. I really don't know what else I can do to get them more outdoor exercise since I have the 1 & 3 yo's to watch (and the 3 yo is a runner and can easily climb over our backyard fence, so he has to be watched all the time outdoors). I have tried game time as a reward but then they have no incentive at all to not hit, kick, etc each other. The 3 yo ends up watching a movie for part of school time, and once I turn one on for him I really can't prevent anyone who's finished from joining him. I try to hold off on turning on a movie for him as long as possible, and sometimes manage to avoid it all together.
  22. Interaction control is the android version of guided access. But one of our tablets doesn't have the option to put a pin on interaction control (old tablet), so they can just turn it off at will, and apparently our new tablet is glitching and not requiring the pin to turn it off. So guided access is only a reliable option for one of the three tablets they use.
  23. So my main reasons for wanting a schedule/more structure are to give the older three boys (11, 9, 7) minimal free time, minimal time to spend together, and minimal unsupervised time. They do not follow rules on any reliable basis and when they're together, they're generally either bickering, actually fighting, seeing what rules they can break together, or being super wild and tearing up the house. I really can't closely supervise them for any substantial length of time because I have too many kids and too many brain fog issues, so I need them in separated spaces that are close enough for me to easily check on them, but far enough apart for them not to be able to interact with each other. The spaces I have that would work for this are the dining room, the living room, one bedroom (all on the main level), and the family room downstairs. They share bedrooms (3 & 11 yo's in one, 7 & 9 yo's in the other) and only the one is really usable for schedule purposes because the other is in the basement next to our bonus room, which has closets they're not supposed to get into (but of course do) and other things they aren't supposed to mess with, so they can't be in it during the day. Ideally I'd have them read for a good chunk of time each day, but they're all dyslexic, the 7 yo can barely read at all, and the others avoid reading as much as possible. They listed to audiobooks some, and it's a good way to occupy them for a while, but tablets in general are problematic because when they have one they tend to spend a bunch of time trying to figure out how to work around whatever parental controls I have set up (I have spend so much time figuring out multiple safeguards to limit tablets to their intended uses. and they are still not 100% secure even using a combination of parental controls apps, passcodes, and interaction control. I don't think it's even possible to have 100% secure tablets when your kids are a bunch of hackers in training). I also have a 3 yo who is a cross between Houdini and a tornado but am mostly including him in the schedule because it feels too overwhelming and impossible to schedule him too (not to mention impossible to keep him in one spot). This is what I was thinking for a schedule: 7-8 am: the three boys all get up between 7 & 8 so was thinking that once two of them are up, they can go in separate rooms upstairs and stay there til 8 8-8:30 am: chore time then sit at table with activity book (dot-to-dot, etc) once finished; I make breakfast 8:30-9 am: breakfast & morning time 9-12: school block--we do school in our family room and I have pretty good structure and separation set up for this though Mondays are generally awful; once someone finishes up I'll try bribing them to play with the 3 yo for 15 or 20 mins though this hasn't been very successful in the past...otherwise they just watch a movie til we finish 12-12:30 pm: outdoor playtime 12:30-1 pm: 7 & 9 yo play together in living room, 11 yo helps me make lunch 1-2 pm: eat lunch; kitchen cleanup (done by 9 & 11 yo's); put 1 yo down for nap; after kitchen cleanup 11 & 3 yo play together in bedroom, 7 yo in living room, 9 yo in family room 2-3 pm: nap time for me; 3-11 yo's watch a movie 3-3:30 pm: 30ish mins of game time on tablets (this is non-negotiable as they lose game time for certain infractions like hitting...it's about the only thing that motivates them) 3:30-4 pm: snack at table and listen to audiobook 4:30-5 pm: outdoor playtime 5-6 pm: I make dinner; 7 & 11 yo play together and 9 & 3 yo play together After 6 DH is usually home and he is very schedule disrupting so I won't try to schedule our after-dinner time right now. We do school M-Th so I'll need to come up with an alternate school for the 9-12 block for non-school days.
  24. I need to find a way to implement more structure, which is something I'm terrible at doing. I know your family has a very structured schedule, so thought I might be able to glean some ideas from it if you'd be willing to share it. I'd also be interested in seeing a daily schedule/routine from anyone else who has very structured days (preferably with three or more elementary or younger kids...seeing a schedule for one or two kids probably isn't going to help me much since I have a bunch to manage).
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