We do Christmas really big for both kids, and tend to put birthdays at around $50 plus a 1-on-1 date night with mom & dad, and the party. DH & I both have fairly large, close families, though. So our families usually do a 1:1 name draw gift exchange at Christmas, and get something nice for each child for birthdays. Also, MIL is a major spoiler, and tends to go big for every event (or often no event...just shopping), so we try to balance that out & show them a little moderation.