We are this family!!!! If the general consensus seems to be that XYZ program is awesome, you can bet that it's a total flop here. We seem to be too weird even for homeschoolers. Here's our list: AAS/AAR Math Mammoth Singapore Standards with HIG IEW FLL OPGTR Edited to Add: FIAR (forgot about that one!) Mystery of History Heart of Dakota (flop for me as a teacher, but I still love the idea behind the program)

I love the way you broke this down Tibbie. I'm going to use it for myself.

Trust me. You come in a distant, far distant, like the other side of the galaxy, from the slacker mom of the year award. Just read the thread I started on the Chat Board. You'll feel much better about yourself.

You hit the nail on the head. :smash: But how can you make two people in their early 30's grow up and act like adults?!?! :cursing:

Your 8th grader might be interested in this. I saw it come across my Facebook feed and thought, "How cool is that! I want to take it!" The Rise of Superheroes and Their Impact on Pop Culture Stan Lee is one of the instructors.

UPDATE (remember please don't quote): I heard back from her tonight in answer to Albeto's question: What is your biggest hindrance to being consistent with school? Her answer: Her and her husband are night owls. Sometimes they think about changing their bedtime habits but it's difficult and the benefits are so small that they don't have much interest anymore in keeping different hours. She wakes up at 9:00 and lays in bed checking Facebook, email, and other internet things until she gets mentally prepared for the day. The kids get up at 7:00 so in the two hours that her and her dh have been sleeping in the house is a disaster. Now the kids need breakfast, but she has to clean off the stove and table cleared so she can cook and they can eat so she has to stop and unload the dishwasher and reload it with last night's dishes to do this. It's usually 11 by the time she gets breakfast on the table. She needs some peace and quiet from the kids so she sends them outside to play intending to clean off the table for school while they are out, but gets on Facebook instead. She looks up and it's been an hour. Now it's time to work on something for lunch. Dishes are still messy from breakfast and other dishes as well so lunch makes it on the table by 1:30 on a good day. The one thing they do consistently is quiet time from 2:30 or 3:00 until 4:30 or 5:00. By that point there is no point in trying to start school since it's so late in the day. The kids play while she works on housework, her blog, laundry, whatever. Her dh comes home at 6 and she realizes dinner needs to get cooked, but the kitchen is still dirty. They usually eat at 8:30 or 9 while watching TV. The kids are in bed an hour later. Her and her dh watch TV until 1 or 2 at which point they are too tired to do any cleaning to make the next day easier so they go to bed and vow to do better tomorrow. Some days they do better which is why some school has been done, but typically what I've written above is what our days are like. :cursing: So, basically, she's just not doing anything. It's not a curriculum issue or feeling overwhelmed; she's just not changing her behavior to school her children. At least it's obvious what I need to tell her, but I hold little hope it will be long lasting change. I'm definitely going to have a blunt, tough love conversation with her, but I'm not hopeful. Curriculum, scheduling, etc. I can deal with, but I can't make someone behave like a responsible adult. I'm feeling really frustrated about the entire situation again. Thanks for all of your help and suggestions. I'm so angry right now at her and her dh that I'm going to wait until tomorrow to reply to her. :cursing:

I just asked her this question and I'm waiting for her reply. Thanks for reminding me! I've got so many things swirling in my head that I keep forgetting things I wanted to talk to her about.

So I need some advice about the 10 year old..... I asked a follow up question about math with my friend. She said the 10 year old started Alpha 3 1/2 years ago and they have been working on it sporadically since then. The twins (8) started Alpha last year. After this new bit of information, I feel like something needs to be done for the 10 year old with math. I know that there isn't really a "behind" in homeschooling since each student works at their own pace, but spending 3 1/2 years in Alpha feels like there hasn't really been ANY pace. Should I suggest she start Alpha over with him and work through it consistently every day or should I have her test him into something like CLE math that will be more student driven and spiral? I haven't even talked to her yet about the writing/handwriting concerns....... Again, please don't quote the above post since I will probably come back and delete the personal details about this family later. I know some of you think I'm crazy for involving myself since I'm not very close in either distance or attachment to this family, but when someone lays a problem at my feet like this, especially involving children, for my own peace of mind, I have to try to do something.

She is not happy about it which is why she brought it up. She does want to change and she did ask for my help even to point of suggesting that I drive to her place to help her out. I am not willing to do that unless she pays mileage for my trip there and back, but I am going to attempt to help from here. This is such a great point and one that ultimately made me be more diligent with our school time. I will definitely share this with her. I didn't say more than that because honestly I didn't want to have to go into details, but during the course of our conversation about mold and maggots, they were also sharing their quick cleaning tips because someone is coming over. My friend said that she takes the really gross dishes and pots and has her husband put them in the garage so they don't smell in the house and no one sees them. There were some other "tips" but that was the one relevant to the dishes. Once she shared that and I remembered thinking how dirty her kitchen was, it all kind of made sense. At that point I had no reason to doubt the veracity of her story about mold (she did also have her own maggot stories to share). It was one of those things where you notice something a little off initially (the filthy kitchen) and when you get more information, a light bulb goes on and it all fits together. Honestly, if we'd been there longer than just stopping to eat dinner with them and hang out for a bit, I totally would have made her tackle that kitchen with me. It was a 10-15 minute conversation of the two of them sharing their horrible housekeeper stories over dinner. I felt like Martha Stewart by the time we got up from the table.

I heard back from my friend and have some specifics of where the kids are at in regards to academics. Please do NOT quote this post since I was reminded up thread that the internet is forever. I'm posting this here because I know that you guys will have some good suggestions and ideas of where to meet each child at their level and move forward. Also, if there are any signs that some kind of testing needs to occur. 10 year old: Can read just about anything you put in front of him. Still struggles with even basic addition in math and is currently working his way through MUS Alpha, but doesn't like it. The twins are 8 (I think I said they were 7). One of the twins: Can kind of read, but hasn't quite broken through to fluency. He knows place value and can do some addition and subtraction, but not much. Can only count to 200. The other twin: About there in reading, vocab and comprehension haven't caught up with ability. Has taught himself some math on his own since he seems to have a knack for it. Adds and subtracts fairly well, but hasn't been taught multiplication or division yet. Any thought or suggestions? I'm happy to see that their reading seems to be within the realm of normal for all their ages. She did say that they haven't focused on math because the dad feels that it's better to focus on reading and then worry about math when they are older. My friend doesn't feel completely comfortable with that approach, but she is following her dh's lead for now. My kids finally woke up so I've got to step away to do some school. Thanks for all your help!

I know that we might not agree on much, Albeto, since I'm a preacher's wife and all, but I 1,000% agree with you on the bolded.

Two years ago she told me not consistently. When I saw her three weeks ago, she told me that for the last two years (since I'd last talked to her until three weeks ago), they hadn't been doing school at all. That was her exact description which is what got me worried. Not consistently bothers me, but I honestly wouldn't have worried about it much since at least something is happening. Not doing it at all is what got me involved. That's a totally different level, IMO.

This kind of gets into the grandma dying scenario... Two years ago when she first mentioned this, she had a four month old at that time, and said that they hadn't been doing school consistently because of being pregnant and now she had a newborn so that made it hard as well. When I talked to her a few weeks ago, no school had been done because it had been difficult for the past two years with the now two year old. I'm really afraid to ask what's been going on before that because she had twins 5 years before the two year old so I can only imagine how difficult that was. To be honest I'm not sure how much schooling has happened with her 10 year old at all. He would have been 5 when the twins were born. I only met her 3 years ago so this is all speculation as to what was going on in their home before that time. I'm basing my fears on what I know has been happening in the past two years. IMO, she's in over her head, but if she absolutely will NOT send them to ps (there are no private schools in their area nor could they afford it), I'm hoping to steer her toward some kind of online option that will require very little from her.

Well, the ball is in her court. I contacted her yesterday via email, but have yet to hear from her. I basically told her that I'd been thinking about what she told me and if she would like me to help her get a plan in place to do school consistently with her kids that I was willing to help. If she responds in the affirmative, I'll begin asking her more specific questions. If she responds in the negative, I'm not sure what I'll do. Probably put on my brutally honest cap and wind up burning some bridges. I'm not sure if I can call CPS on her. I'm not a mandatory reporter as far as I know. I was when I taught school and I know that dh is since he's a minister, but I'm not. I truly feel she is a good mom, but not a self-disciplined one who does the stuff that needs to be done even when you don't want to do so. I will keep everyone up to date of how things move on from here. This thread took some interesting turns (as I expected from the HIve!) and some of it was laugh out loud funny so thanks for that. I've been really stressed and anxious about the entire situation so all you helped to focus my thoughts on what needed to be done. And in full disclosure, once I returned home from being gone for two weeks with the kids. I spent days getting the house cleaned up and put in order while schooling the kids because I kept thinking about the conversation with my friend. Glad to see it's been "inspiring" to some of you as well. :lol:

I don't think it's hyperbole. I've actually been in her house. She had to have her dh wash dishes just so she could serve us. I am definitely not a great housekeeper, but even I was shocked at the state of her kitchen especially since she knew we were coming over and had all day to get ready for us. We showed up at dinner time. I will definitely be contacting her today to start this conversation. I don't know if anything I say or do will help, but I've got to say/do something. It's been bugging me for three weeks now since we talked.

6 months old and I was gone for almost two weeks. I had the opportunity to go to Italy with my husband as well and couldn't pass up such a once in a lifetime chance. Everything was fine while I was gone, but I was glad to see my kids again. Go and have a good time.

We did the same. I just couldn't handle what was basically Frozen 2 intruding on one of my used-to-be favorite shows. I am not holding out much hope that it will get better with the introduction of the three new villains. I'm thinking this spells doom for OUAT.

Thanks so much for everyone's thoughts. I will definitely contact my friend since she opened the door for me. I will do the best I can to spur her on for the sake of her children if nothing else. I will be seeing her two other times this year at various functions so I'll make it a point to talk to her in person as well if she's still speaking to me at that point. Thanks again for helping me clarify what I should do.

She's always been like that even before kids. I agree with this sentiment from your husband. I was actually involved with her for a couple of years in her online ministry. After our talk two years ago where she first confessed her homeschool troubles and some other less than upstanding financial situations I resigned my position in her online ministry because I felt that the way she was presenting herself to others was not accurate, nothing illegal, but not morally upstanding. I don't feel her intentions are malicious, but she is very happy go lucky and shortsighted so she gets herself into some very bad situations. I think the above might be part of it. It wasn't just the two of us in this conversation. Her best friend, who I also know, was with us at dinner. When she was telling me about her homeschool issue her friend was not helpful. The best friend cited a prominent homeschooler who talks about delaying education with boys as proof that what my friend was doing as fine. When my friend told about the Bible class teacher, the best friend rolled her eyes and pointed out that people with kids in ps don't understand what homeschoolers do. When my friend started talking about her messy dishes, the best friend laughed and started sharing disgusting dish stories of her own involving maggots in old pots and pans. Honestly I just sat there aghast on the inside, but trying not to show it. I don't think this is helpful for my friend at all.

:iagree: with all of this. I was in Fort Worth as well and pleasantly surprised at the variety of topics on actually homeschooling. Sure there was the parenting, religious tracks, but there were so many great speakers on different aspects of homeschooling that I actually had to decide between two or three different options that looked intriguing. And I agree about the Classical Homeschooling panels! They were so wonderful! We totally should have had a WTM meet up since it seems a lot of us were there.

The above answers are what I have gathered from our conversations. Since we live in Texas (quite large state), They live about 6-7 hours from us. I've only been around her children a couple of times. They seem to have normal social and speech skills for children their age. As far as I know the older boys are literate , but I didn't witness them reading or writing since we were just hanging out. No idea about math skills either. The only thing I know is the writing a sentence thing and her saying that they don't have to write at home for her. That kind of made my radar go up, but then I know there is a broad range of normal. As far as I know her oldest son has never been tested for any type of learning disability nor does she seem to suspect that he might have one. She truly seems to think that it will all just work itself out. Tibbie, I just wanted to let you know that I love you. This post is so wonderful. It is reading wisdom like this that really helps ME out as a homeschool mom.

I don't think so, but then I'm a former ps teacher. I think some opportunity to learn is better than none. At least they'd have the opportunity in ps. The two of us actually have super similar personalities. I guess that is one of the reasons I get frustrated when I think about. I believe that laziness does play a part in it or putting it off until the next day and the next until you realize 6 months have gone by and you've done only 20 days of school in that time. I have no idea what she does all day. She does run a Christian woman's blog and speaks at different Christian women's retreats and conventions throughout the year. I'm sure her husband has to know, but he seems quite passive and trusts her judgment about all things concerning the children. These are some great suggestions, Danielle! Thanks! She has a 10 year old, 7 year old twins, 2 year old, and due any day now with #5. She is definitely a busy mom. Quite a few people mentioned depression, and honestly, I wouldn't have thought of that, but it could be the case. She doesn't act depressed, but I know that most people wear a mask to hid their depression when around other people. I will definitely mention that to her. Her house is a wreck. She's proud of the fact that it is a mess. In fact she was telling me how they might get dishes washed once a week and they frequently just throw dishes away because they are too nasty to even bother washing. Her children seem to be taken well care of in all other respects. I agree with this so much. Thank you sharing. No regulations. We are in Texas so homeschools are considered private schools. No governmental oversight. In our denomination (her husband is a minister in the same denomination that my husband is), there is a huge movement that homeschooling is the only way to raise true, faithful, Christians (I do not subscribe to this buy the way. We don't homeschool for religious reasons, but academic ones which makes us the oddballs in our denomination). That would be the reason that she considers them being at home as better for them than the public school. I know that this saying isn't new but the ideas of "I'm trying to get them into heaven not Harvard" is very much a motto among most homeschoolers in my denomination. I always tell people I'm getting them ready for both. They usually look at me like I'm crazy. Thank you for the kind words. About 3 or 4 years ago, I was exactly where she was (not doing school consistently, slacking off, making excuses), but the Hive provided the kick in the pants that I needed and I realized that 90% of homeschooling is just doing your job every day because it is a job. We have been very consistent and flourishing since then. I guess I need to be her kick in the pants!

Having grown up in the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas, I have so many expressions that were super common growing up, but no one knows except us Arkansas hillbillies I guess. Even my husband who's from backwoods Oklahoma will ask me, "What does that even mean?"

I know how I've heard it used growing up in Arkansas, but I don't know if it's common usage or just something people said. It meant an all-consuming desire for something. For example, she loves that man with a purple passion for some reason that I don't understand.

I bought Teaching the Classics at convention last month. I've watched about half of the DVD's. It, and a talk by Andrew Kern, inspired me to get rid of our current literature program and just read one really good book a month, then discuss it using Teaching the Classics method. This month will be the first month that we try it out, but I'm super excited. I think it will really help us dive into literature in a way that we've never done before. So my vote is to dust of Teaching the Classics and start watching!