Yes, the article that I linked said that there is a brief honeymoon period after a wedding where happiness increases, but then it returns to what it was before the marriage, the baseline level just like you mentioned. I agree with you wholeheartedly, and I have found it to be true in my own life: when either happy or unhappy events occur, I adjust, and end up feeling pretty much the same as I did before. I still think the question is worth asking, though, given that our society insists that marriage makes people happier. It's worth looking into whether there's any veracity to that claim or not. And what's really funny is that the myth is so pervasive, that even psychologists like Dan Gilbert, who has popularized the research that you linked to showing that winning the lottery doesn't make you happy, even he promoted the myth that marriage makes you happy!

I don't think I'd bother presenting studies to BIL. I think I'd just tell him to knock it off with the unwarranted and unwanted advice. As far as what to say to your daughter, I think looking at studies of happiness in marriage correlated to age at marriage might be interesting. I have read that teen marriages are more strongly correlated to future poverty than marriages that take place later, and more likely to end in divorce than marriages that take place later. And I've read that level of education positively correlates with the success of the marriage (success simply being defined as not ending in divorce). But at the moment I cannot remember where I read most of those. The age and divorce rate correlation I do remember, because I was just talking about it in another thread. https://ifstudies.org/blog/want-to-avoid-divorce-wait-to-get-married-but-not-too-long/ I'll post the others if I'm able to find them again. But I would also pose another more general question: are married women happier than single women? I started looking into that question myself when my daughter said she doesn't think she will ever get married. She's only 17 and I realize there's a good chance she'll change her mind. But I want her to be happy, either happy married or happy single doesn't matter to me. But which is more likely to make her happy? Well, according to the social psychologist Bella DePaulo, the research proclaiming that married people are happier is profoundly flawed, basically designed from the start to prove that married people are happier, and even so only shows a miniscule difference. For example: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/single-at-heart/2013/03/every-time-you-hear-that-getting-married-will-make-you-happier-read-this/ I think our society really pushes this notion that marriage and children equal "happily ever after" and that single people are simply those who have failed to attract a mate. But I believe that some people are "wired" to be single, and will be happier single (and I could definitely see my daughter being one of those people). I am happily married myself so I'm not saying anything bad about marriage! I'm just saying that I question the underlying assumption of your BIL's weird rant that marriage is necessary for your dauhter's happiness. So I'm just throwing this out there for your consideration. :-)

Oh, wow, the Biore stuff sounds really nice. The problem is I live in the desert and my skin is already parched. I'd be nervous about putting alcohol on it. But I wonder if there are similar liquid formulas without alcohol. I wouldn't mind something really emollient because my dry skin needs moisture. It's the stickiness that I hate. Some of them feel like you're smearing toothpaste on your skin! My daughter has eczema too, so that's good to know. My dad is a red head, and the poor guy has had so many skin cancers on his arms, hands, and ears. :-( I didn't get his red hair (which is a bummer - I love red hair!) but my skin is super fair like his. And I live in a sunnier place than he does! I'm 43 but I already look sun damaged. I really wish I'd paid more attention to this years ago. I've always worn sunscreen when I was planning to be outside. What I didn't realize was how much sun you get just walking to your car and driving around doing errands and such. It really adds up!

It's rare to get a unanimous answer. I'll definitely have to try it! Thanks!

Weird! I always loved going to the library when I was a kid! Actually I still do. :D. That phrase "kid in a candy store" applies to me in a library or book store. I can't imagine what could possibly be so oppressive about a library!

Thanks!

Oh, Kelly, that is so much to deal with. I'm so sorry. :grouphug:

I use a really wonderful sunscreen from Paula's Choice on my face, because it goes on so light and then seems to just disappear. So it doesn't feel cakey or goopy under my makeup. I love the stuff. But it is much too expensive (for me) to use on all the other places I need sunscreen every day: neck, shoulders, arms, hands. So I'd like to find something relatively inexpensive that feels (and preferably smells) like lotion rather than thick and sticky like most sunscreen. It doesn't have to have a really high SPF (I use a really high SPF when I know I'm going to be out in the sun for an extended period, and I just put up with the stickiness and the smell. But this is for everyday use when I won't be getting all that much sun exposure, so a lower SPF should be fine.) Does such a thing exist?

Yes, overall I was very happy, even though I didn't get everything I'd hoped for. The most important thing is that I learned I can give up grains and dairy and still be happy! I thought I was going to feel so deprived, but I really don't. It's worth it. I don't even think that much about it for the meals I prepare myself. It does get tricky when eating out. I'm glad you found what works for you, because I really think that's what Whole 30 is about more than the "rules" themselves. I would eat honey if I had my own bees too! That's so cool!

What do these even mean?? I'm so confused! :lol: You are a brave woman, Mercy! I would have been pulling out the pepper spray!

I have to brag on my daughter a bit for background. She is of course still totally adorable, but when she was in infant, she really was strikingly beautiful. She looked like the Gerber baby or a baby model. I had people telling me that, perfect strangers, all the time, everywhere I went. But this one particular lady, after breathlessly going on and on and on that my daughter was so gorgeous, unbelievably pretty, the most beautiful baby she'd ever seen in her life then added "She looks NOTHING like you!!!" Yeah, um, thanks. ETA: I couldn't really fault the lady, because it was absolutely true! Luckily my dd took after her paternal grandmother more than me. :)

We are fortunate to have a great locally-owned bookstore just a mile from our house. They carry both new and used books, and the employees are very friendly and helpful. I've taken to ordering a lot of things online, but we like this bookstore so much that we go to them first. If they don't have what I want, I order from Barnes and Noble. I don't like Amazon very much, so I generally only use them as a last resort.

Oh, I am just very, very sorry. Words seem so inadequate. :grouphug: Scoutermom, I am so very sorry for your friend as well.

Whole 30 is done! :hurray: Today begins reintroduction. I'm skipping reintroducing alcohol, because I already know that it triggers a worse-than-average migraine for me, so no need to repeat that! I had a Whole 30 breakfast, but I'll have some beans with lunch and dinner and see how that goes. My main hope with Whole 30 was to reduce migraine frequency, and unfortunately it did not help in that way at all. That's a real bummer. I was really hoping that a previously undiscovered food intolerance was playing a significant role in the migraines, but I guess it really is just perimenopause hormonal stuff that I can't control. :( My second goal was to get rid of the belly bloat, and it worked brilliantly for that. I still have more fat on my belly than I'd like, of course (it would need more than 30 days to get rid of that!), but I'm talking about the painful, heavy bloated feeling that was becoming a daily occurrence before. It disappeared from day 1 and hasn't returned. I was also hoping to lose two or maybe three pounds. That seemed like a reasonable goal. I lost four. I'm hoping it was all fat, and not muscle! I haven't been lifting weights quite as regularly as I had been before, so I hope I didn't lose muscle. I think at least some of it was fat, because my clothes do seem to fit a bit more comfortably, and my waist measured a quarter inch less. Not a huge difference, but I'll take it! So overall I'm definitely considering it a success! Probably the single best thing about it was that I REALLY boosted the amount of veggies that I eat. I don't want to give that part up - I really enjoyed it! And even though my husband and daughter didn't do W30 with me, they ate more veggies too simply because I was preparing more. I didn't feel as deprived as I thought I would, and I think that's because I tried new fruits and veggies that I'd never had before, and that made it fun. I thought about turning it into a Whole 60, but instead, I think I'm just going to take the reintroduction phase a little slower than it says, and see how things go. I'd love to hear how it went for the others who did it! Since you guys had done it before, are you still going to do the gradual reintroduction? Or will you just go back to eating the foods you know you can handle?

Yes, every day. I realized years ago that foods like cereal, pastries, bars, etc will not get me through until lunch time, and will frequently cause a hypoglycemic episode. So for me it has just become part of the daily routine. It's not a matter of willpower, really, just habit. You will get used to it, and I think it's well worth it. We all function better on a protein-rich breakfast. Hubby doesn't like eggs so I make him some kind of breakfast meat, and a bowl of fresh fruit with yogurt (whole, unsweetened). That's all he wants. I have a little of the breakfast meat too, but in my case usually crumbled into my scrambled eggs, with whatever veggies I have on hand too. And I have a bowl of fresh fruit, usually topped with chopped nuts (no yogurt for me - recently gave up dairy), and sometimes coconut cream. Daughter is less predictable. Sometimes she wants scrambled eggs or bacon. Lately she's really been into cold oatmeal (put rolled oats, milk, and whatever fruit and nuts and sweetener you want in a small jar in the fridge the night before. The oats get soft without cooking, and you just eat it cold. It's surprisingly good, though I don't eat it anymore.) Sometimes she just wants toast with peanut butter or yogurt and granola. She wakes up later, and doesn't have a huge appetite. Occasionally I'll mix it up and cook something different like protein pancakes, or hash browns, or whatever we're in the mood for. That's usually on the weekend. Weekdays we're pretty set in our routines.

For pain in the sacrum area, I've gotten relief by just lying on my back, gently pulling my knees toward my chest, and sort of slowly rocking around. (Does that make sense?) But if your pain is more in the lumbar area then I'm not sure that would work.

Good luck, Scoutermom! I hope that you have a great time!

Unless you have an injury that makes it problematic, I don't see why you couldn't walk/run every day. It's the way the human body was designed to move, right? (Oh, that reminds me, if you haven't already seen Christopher McDougall's TED Talk called Born to Run, you might enjoy it!). I have an ankle that gives me trouble. I sprained it years ago, and it's touchy and sensitive to this day. It's frustrating because running is so rewarding. It gives me a burst of those happy endorphins like no other form of exercise. I'm trying to get back into it, but I'm taking it really slow. I'm not big on stretching, personally, because my muscles ached all the time when I was stretching a lot. I only stretch now when something feels tight or uncomfortable. I realize I'm in a very small minority on this one, though. Obviously most people feel that it's beneficial. I just wanted to throw out the possibility that it isn't necessary if you don't enjoy it. I have an iPod Nano. I think it's pretty user-friendly, but then again I'm used to it so maybe not the best judge. The Nano will only play music that you've purchased, it doesn't work with Apple's music subscription service, so that kind of stinks. I have an Audible membership, and I can load audiobooks onto the Nano as well. I really like that a lot, because boring cardio on a machine at the gym is a lot more fun when you're getting swept away by a good romance. ;)

I only did a short run with my daughter yesterday, and half an hour of intervals on the step mill today. So, not a lot, but not nothing either!

I use an exfoliant and a retinol product. My retinol product is prescription, but there are many available without. I love Paula's Choice exfoliants. They're the best! I use salicylic acid since I sometimes get acne. If you do not have that problem, you might want to get glycolic acid instead. These might be helpful: http://www.paulaschoice.com/expert-advice/anti-aging/_/5-Anti-Aging-Secrets-That-Really-Work http://www.paulaschoice.com/expert-advice/anti-aging/_/how-to-exfoliate-skin

Yes, and I also wanted to mention that from what I've read, you can influence this (at least somewhat) with your form and technique. When you do squats with your legs in a narrow stance and toes straight ahead, your quads dominate. But when you use a wider stance with toes pointed slightly outward, your glutes and hamstrings help out more. Also, with half squats, the quads do most of the work, but with full deep squats, the glutes and hamstrings get "recruited" more. At least that's what I've read, and it "feels" true to me when I try it different ways. I can't do back squats anymore, and I really miss them. That is such a good exercise! I've been doing goblet squats, leg press, and deadlifts as my primary leg exercises, but I need to look up some more squat variations. I've never heard of shrimp squats before!

Upper body weights and a very short run today.

I stopped snacking between meals when I read The Obesity Code. I would keep a special beverage on hand that I would only drink during that time that my body wanted its usual snack. Something unsweetened and zero calories, but still something special that I didn't drink at other times: my favorite flavor of La Croix, or a fancy tea from a local tea shop, something like that. Sometimes, hydration itself stops hunger. Plus the psychological factor of it being a "treat" really helped. I got used to it, and I don't have mid-afternoon cravings anymore, unless I didn't eat enough at lunch.

My daughter would love that! She tries to find 40's and 50's inspired dresses when she can, and she loves the higher waist on pants of that era too. There was some really cute stuff in those decades!

45 minutes of cardio, weights (leg day) and a three mile walk. I'm tired.