Gouging old caulk from around the bathtub = weirdly satisfying

When you blank on the word "fawn" and urge your family to "look at the deer cub!" they will laugh at you. A lot.

Why has my normally aloof pet turned into Velcro Kitty?

There's a hawk outside my window giving me the side-eye. Creepy. No wonder mice always look so jittery.

We need a word for that feeling of disappointment you get upon fumbling around in your bowl of pistachios only to discover that they're all empty shells.

I think it took us longer to decide on a name for our coffee maker than it did to name our kid.

When the box of parchment paper says its cutting edge is sharp? It speaks the truth.

The Farmers' Market makes me lose all sense of moderation.

My potted blueberry has been denuded and that chipmunk has suspiciously purple lips...

The cat's snoring sounds freakishly like Scotland the Brave. Just thought you'd want to know.

Kale chips: Proof that enough olive oil and sea salt can make anything taste good.

A deer just kicked out the window of my parked car. Jerk.

Amusing myself watching a chipmunk wedge his entire body into the birdfeeder.

Having unkind thoughts about the bird outside my window.