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About FuzzyCatz

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    Googleplex master of hivedom

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    Residing in mayhem

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    Homeschooling mom

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  1. I agree with sending a quick e-mail ASAP. As a contract teacher myself, when someone tells me something I often say could you e-mail me a reminder because if you have that slapping you in the face every time you sit down at your e-mail, you are more likely to get it done. That doesn't mean she can't follow up with him in person on Monday or later in the week either if she doesn't get confirmation.
  2. We are Minnesota residents and people change/back out of PSEO plans all the time. In terms of courtesy I think it’s nice to do it before their natural payment deadlines. Although I assume that would be well beyond May. I even know people doing PSEO at more than one school at the same time. I am a CsE comp sci grad. Great program. Good luck!
  3. This is a super common problem. My kid had to follow up with a couple of his references. I remember needing to do it myself and feeling awkward about it. But it needed t9 be done. This type of follow up is a good life skill and people are not forgetting to write the letters to be malicious. They’re just busy and have a lot of moving balls. A casual follow up is a good idea several weeks before the due date if it has been submitted. has she had treatment for anxiety? That has been helpful for a couple people at this house. I’m just thinking in terms of being successful at college next year and having the confidence to attend office hours, follow up and asking questions when needed, etc
  4. My favorite brand is Alegria right now. They have cute mary jane style shoes that might work. They are good for walking too. I had horrible PF a couple years ago but between these shoes and using superfeet inserts in my addidas shoes I use for walking/hiking I haven't had problems at all lately. I have like 4-5 pairs of them now, including sandels. We have a local shoe store that has lots of orthotic high quality brands. You can make short appointments with a podiatrist there to get fit. Maybe you have something like that locally. I think you really have to try on some of these brands and if you have custom orthotics you can try inserting them.
  5. To be fair, I'm pretty sure these days never existed. If you need a boil lanced, a tooth pulled, or had an ear infection - sure. If a treatment didn't work or a diagnosis didn't ring true, it was all in your head. I have elderly relatives I don't think were ever accurately diagnosed with auto immune symptoms for almost their entire lives.
  6. I've also seen circumstances where parents were generous and had a hard time saying no when help was needed. And then a few years later, health starts failing and adult kids who actually knew very little about their parent's finances realize they don't actually have enough for their elder years. So I think it is good to be sensitive going both ways. I also question the wisdom of co-signing on loans. Less so for something finite and reasonably affordable like a first car. More so for large loans for high end private colleges, etc. You can go out and find MANY stories about co-signers having to make payments on these. I also don't think it's wise to use parent plus loans for college assuming your kids will have the means to pay them back either. These types of set ups can definitely ruin relationships. Just a circumstance that is close to my heart at the moment given the ridiculous costs of college and predatory lending that goes with them.
  7. Gross. I don't know if you could press charges but certainly crosses a line. And why? Just to impress the internet? There's some good justification for lewd and boundary crossing behavior. I keep reminding myself brain development is in progress until the late 20's.
  8. Sounds like a sure fire way to kill a budding teen parent relationship that is evolving to a young adult parent relationship. I don't doubt there might be circumstances this may be a good idea. But routinely for kids that have shown no trust issues? Completely bizarre.
  9. Absolutely. Your own physical and emotional health is very important and you are in the best position to know what you can take on. I always wonder at some of the threads here about people berating others about the level of care they can take on with aging parents. Everyone really needs to weigh their own situation. If you carry wounds from the relationship, of course that is going to weigh on you. The other thing is even having someone in a nursing facility and having POA and being there even somewhat emotionally for an aging parent and possibly help manage finances is already heavy duty without day to day hands on care. Not everyone is suited to that and that is ok. And I'm saying that as someone who has lost a parent. I have no regrets about his end of life or that he died across the country from me. And I had a decent adult relationship with him.
  10. Well I think in the US this is more a family culture thing more often than a particular culture of origin. Some families I know are very generous, some are not. My dad talked a big game about us being responsible and independent adults but he helped my brother many times and my mom is still helping my brother now that my dad is deceased. She actually owns part of his home. Meanwhile, he takes vacations just bought a big camper, etc. So does he NEED help? No Is he good at acting needy? Evidently. Has it caused some resentment between us? Yes. So I do think parents should be careful not to continuously rescue an adult "child" that seems to find a crises around every corner. I full believe when my mom dies my brother will come sniffing around my bank account and it will be a hard no. There's never been a case where he would be without food or homeless. My grandparents never helped my parents. None of them were of means at all. I was first gen female to go to college. My dad did graduate college but he graduated at age 27 after working his way through for many years. I have received 2 somewhat large monetary gifts from my parents since graduating college (1 when I bought a house, 1 when I got married - we still paid for a good portion of our own wedding). It wouldn't occur to me to ask for help. My dad sold us a car once but it wasn't really much of a deal but it saved us from shopping and we knew it was single owner and in decent shape. My parents did build up their own business and were well off by the time I was a teenager. My brother has received money for legal help, additional schooling, housing, other crises, etc. I think there is nothing wrong with a loan between family members. But I personally do not want to be a loan shark. I've heard plenty of tales where this causes a rift too when someone misses a couple payments and then goes out of town for the weekend. Honestly, if it were me, I could see being annoyed. Depends on the family and the relationship. The only people I can imagine being willing to help right now personally are our parents and happily they all planned well for retirement. And our own children. We are paying for my son's college but given how college works in the US, we are more than happy to do that. And I fully expect he will have some launching expenses and growing pains after college and possibly consider grad school.
  11. I think this can come and go and things can shift a bit as puberty approaches, but rigorous exercise and outdoor time definitely is helpful for all of us here.
  12. If there is really an 11 year old the youngest is 7 and it's for an hour or 2, I wouldn't see a need for a sitter. IF there was a phone available. That said, I'd work on getting a cheap land line option or a cheap cell phone to have at home so you can run quick errands, etc. Your kids are at a great age to start this kind of thing. We pay like $6 a month for a wifi based land line as back up even though we all have cell phones. Or if you have a device/tablet, you could set up skype to be able to make emergency calls, etc. I think it's fine to take a day off if you really aren't feeling it though.
  13. OH, I'm so sorry he fell. I bet he was extra tired from travel too. But I am glad he will be able to transition directly somewhere with more hands on care. That will be so much better for everyone I think and it will make it so he really just transitions directly to that living situation. Those places often have good transportation options too. ❤️
  14. I also think there is a danger in not at least filing a report with police with mental health history in case he starts reporting things like kidnapping of the kids, etc. I can see wanting to have resources and settled first, and maybe legal aid can give her advice along these lines. Some crises shelters will have good protocols and resources in place to help get things in motion from a legal/protection prospective.
  15. This is kind of an aside, I'm personally not overly worried about coronavirus and the town where my kid goes to college did have a dx. But I have a kid who is a freshman in college this fall in a dorm with around 1000 students Anyway - one thing we have found really helpful is having a small air filter. It's also a good white noise machine. Dorms get musty, it's an old building and I'm sure dorms are petri dishes of all kinds of garbage. My student hasn't had even a cold this year (knock on wood). I prime him multi vitams and elderberry gummies regularly too. title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
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