to say that a friend "dumped" you for baseball wouldn't be fair. I would feel terrible if a friend of mine thought I specifically chose an activity over a friend. I have a good friend I know doesn't get it at all and thinks we are crazy. I cannot tell you how much it means to me that this friend doesn't come out and tell me that. This friend made an effort to come to my ds game and that meant a lot because it totally isn't her thing. It definitely makes me want to make the effort with that friend and if I did have free time she is the one I would call. People get busy with things. I have always thought it was good that my kids chose the activity they want to pursue rather than consider whether or not their friends are in it. I wish they had a little more time with their friends but I would be disappointed if they put aside something that they really wanted to pursue just because a friend isn't into it. We've been at this for a few years now and haven't lost any friendships over it. My friends with growing children have things they are into now too. I think it is natural as kids get older to get busier. It doesn't mean those friendships are over. It does mean they change a little.

I have one involved with very serious travel ball. One just starting out in a less serious program but still travel. We play 2-3 weekends per month with generally involves Friday night, Sat and Sun - sometimes all day. We practice 1-2 times per week in addition to the weekend tournaments. It would not be okay to miss practice for a playdate or social meeting. Generally we would only miss for illness or a substantial church commitment. Ds recently told his coach that he would not play on Good Friday and we have missed for First Communions. (We do not miss Sunday Mass for baseball but we do often have to go at odd times or go to another parish to work around the baseball schedule). Some families choose to take vacations during the season and that does lead to some eyebrow raising. I have had to tell friends that I can't make any firm plans during ball season. We don't play all the time but we often don't know until the last minute what the schedule will be. We may be off all day on a Saturday but might not know that until Thursday. Things are very much in limbo all season. Not to mention all the free weekends we get because of the weather but again we don't know until the last minute on those. So, yes, it is normal for baseball families (and I know some families in other sports that operate the same way). Whether or not it is healthy- I'm not always sure. I do wish there was some middle ground but we haven't been able to find it. I do often question if this is the right thing to do but usually end up deciding that it is. I do not usually encourage other people to get into it. My ds loves it and thrives in it. It's a great activity for him. Balancing the needs of the family- that's the grey area. The one thing that I do not do is talk to my non-sports friends about baseball. It is very, very easy to get caught up in the drama, the coaching issues, etc. I've been there and felt like I was in high school with some of the women. I won't get emotionally involved again. I have lost sleep over some of that stuff but I will not anymore. It can be very drama filled and emotionally draining. Now that we've learned how to deal with that aspect of it I don't feel like it is taking over our family. There was a time when I told dh I was done because it was all we ever talked about. We've got that aspect of it under control now and it makes the rest of it seem much more reasonable. I know I rambled on there. I consider myself an expert on this topic :D It's a tough thing. Your friends are not unusual, though. And where as they might be overinvolved they likely really enjoy it - not a horrible way to live for them. It can be very fun. It can also be miserable. I hope you are able to maintain those friendships. I'm sure they don't want to lose you as friends they are just trying to support their kids in what they want to do. It can be tough, though. Marie

Something the kids loved was when one coach (who was anti-trophy) printed up certifcates on her computer recognizing each one for a particular skill (most coachable, hardest worker, fastest runner, best defender, etc.) She even had the nerve to hand out an MVP. The kids loved it. If anyone was upset about one player being singled out as MVP I didn't notice. The MVP was obvious and the kids are smart enough to know it and handle it. Another ds played baseball for the husband of this coach and he did the same thing and it went over great with a different set of kids. The younger set of kids all got a "most improved ______" and the more experienced kids got "best defensive player, best baserunner, etc." The kids really liked it. They had something to take pride in because it was true and the coach had taken the time to acknowledge something about each player. The kids ranged in age from 5-8 and every one of them could handle it. Okay- back to ranting about snacks, which I'm happy to do. Marie

but it really irks me. It's just not something I'm willing to fight. It seems I am always swimming against the tide as it is. I'll just roll with the snacks. When a coach asks opinions on snacks I always voice my "no" but I'm always overuled. Sometimes I protest by bringing something healthy. Other times I just bring the cheapest thing I can get by with. Anyone want to talk about trophies? That's right up there with snacks for me. Marie

I've just been mulling over what to think of it. I've always thought that ds was not gifted, just a bright kid in a good environment with a great attitude. I think the scores bear that out. I think his scores were good (especially for a young 5th grader) but he certainly is no where near the ceiling of the test. Of course I would have had fun seeing some big scores! His subtest scores ranged from 14- 19. I think it was a good experience and we'll do it again next year. I think he's a bright kid who is being challenged at home. I don't think I need to break a sweat worrying about accomodating his giftedness, though:tongue_smilie: We're doing well. We'll just keep chugging along. I'll file this away for days that I feel I am failing him and that he is falling behing his ps peers. :) Thanks for offering to help. Marie

What to make of them...that I don't know :)

We'll take a 2-3 wk break when schools let out but then we're back at it for the rest of the summer. The big thing we do to make schooling in the summer tolerable is be willing to drop everything if we get an invite from friends to go to the pool, etc. We do a little school in the morning, relax in the afternoon, and drop everything if something extra fun comes along. We have gotten so much done during out summers yet no one feels too tied down to school or stresses about not getting enough done. Works for us! Marie

My boys were 10, 8, and 5 when dd was born. She is an easy baby and it has been great. There is a huge difference when having a baby when the others are older. It is so much easier than having so many littles at one time. Don't underestimate how much the older ones can help. The older ones can do so much with baby and around the house. I had spoiled mine but used the pregnancy to get them up to speed with making their own breakfast/ lunch, cleaning tasks, etc. Yeah- it is hard to get it all done. There are days that school didn't get done. There are days the house isn't clean. There are days I had nothing ready for dinner. But, all of those things were true before baby, too. Congratuations! I am so glad I got to share this experience with the boys at the ages they are. It has been so neat for all of us. Don't underestimate the fact that you are a more experienced mom and will likely be more laid back about some baby things. Don't underestimate the fact that having ones old enough to have intelligent conversation around can make the baby haze easier to get through. Don't underestimate how much independent work your olders can do. Congratuations and have fun! Our surprise has been such a blessing. She's almost 1 and we've had such a sweet year. Good luck!

for the info. I'm sorry about your son's injury. I'm off to check out that link. I want to be prepared for wherever the next few years take us. I'm not that worried about him playing college ball but I don't want to close any doors on him either. All we have here for homeschoolers is a basketball program. I don't think we'd have the talent base for baseball to be competitive. There is legislation being introduced to allow homeschoolers access to all public school activities but I am not hopeful. Thanks again. Marie

Did your son have success in pursuing college baseball or are you just sharing what you know from others who he played with? Baseball is my ds sport. He is only 11 but on the elite team for our state. I really would rather homeschool him for high school and don't think playing baseball in college is that worthwhile to pursue ( I know there is not much money for baseball). But if it is something he really wants to do we'll have to know how to proceed. He does not have access to any public/ private school athletics in our state. I have wondered if all the travel ball and summer league ball and camps/ showcases would be enough exposure for him to see what his options are instead of always feeling like he missed out because he didn't play on the high school team. I'm rambling. My question is did your son or other homeschooled teamates have success in getting a college coach to look at him? I really don't want to send him to high school but I may have to if it is the only practical way (and if I can't talk him out of it). Thanks... I just haven't ever crossed paths with someone that knows the ins and outs of baseball specifically. Marie

I understand better now. It sounded like you didn't want anything done about it. I probably would try to cover it with makeup if it made her feel better. My ds basketball coach wears makeup to cover his (and I never would have know if I hadn't been told). Sorry you have to deal with this and I'm sorry I misunderstood the tone of your first message. Marie

Our neighbor has had laser treatments for a port wine stain and the results have been dramatic. It sounds like you want her just to accept it because "everybody has something". I get that, sort of, but I disagree. I grew up with a mole on my face. I went to a dermatologist who said it was just a "cosmetic" issue when I was a preteen. My parents weren't into doing anything for "cosmetic" reasons. I finally got it removed at age 32. Honestly, I'm ashamed to admit it but, I really resent my parents for not getting it removed. It would have been so simple. I really still harbor some resentment over this ( I know I need to get over it). In fact, the dr. asked if it bled and I said "no". I actually attempted to make it bleed so that something might be done. I am not a vain person. I understand the value in being raised not to be vain. That is why it took me so long to get it removed once I was an adult. I would do anything reasonable to remove a port wine stain from my daughter's face. Just my .02 Marie

The skin care stuff is pretty good. I especially like the moisturizers and I feel like they are a good value. I have found some cheapo stuff that works for my cleansers but I still use her sunscreen and moisturizers. Better than the skin care, though, is the make up. I simply love it. It last forever. It's a great value. You can get samples so you can check colors. Marie

I don't buy an extra Sunday paper but I do get the coupons out of my regular Sunday paper and then my small town local paper has one coupon insert on Wednesday so I get doubles of a few coupons. My mom gives me her leftovers after she and my sister have picked through them so I get a few extra there. I use coupons I get on the internet. Most of the sites seems to let you print a couple of each one you want. I'll save coupons over time. I may end up with similar coupons that were in several different papers and I save them all to use when the item goes on sale. If you are shopping CVS or Walgreens there are cheapies and freebies to be had from their Extra Bucks or Register Rebates, respectively. The best deals come when you combine with a manufacturer coupon but sometimes there are cheapies or freebies even without the man coupon. Alot depends on what stores you are shopping and if they double coupons, etc. I have a Kroger that doubles and that is where many of the big savings come in. If your store doesn't double you won't see some of the best deals. I wouldn't buy an extra paper unless I looked inside and saw that there were tons of coupons that would save me enough to make it worth all the hassle. I've not done that yet. Honestly, I'm swimming in coupons just from the regular paper and I don't want to manage any more. Hope that helps. The longer you stay at it, the better deals you will get as you collect more coupons. I wouldn't be able to get the deals I get if my Kroger didn't runs such good sales, though. So if you don't have a Kroger or comparable store I bet you can't save quite as much.

In my head I know that these sales will run again and that there will be more coupons but I guess I get carried away. I think I could manage the 12 week rule. Then if I got a great cheapie or freebie I could donate it and it wouldn't take over my cabinets but I could still be happy to get the deal :001_smile: Thanks. I'll think about that.

Where do you draw the line? I've just been couponing etc. the last couple months but I have built quite a stockpile of things I got very cheap. I have quite a collection of toothpaste and deodorant :) I'm trying to come up with a system for when to stop buying. For example, I'm thinking now that I'll only get toothpaste if it is less than $.25. Of course, I can limit myself more easily with perishable food items. I know this sounds silly but the obsessive part of my personality is having a hard time knowing when to quit. I just wanted to add that this system is working very well for me and I finally feel after 13 years of marriage and 4 kids that I know how to grocery shop and am being thrifty. I never believed I could put this much of a dent in my grocery bill. But when I find myself trying to figure how many tampons I'm going to need to get to menopause that maybe I'm getting carried away:D Any pointers?

I'm looking at a pair of Teva flip flops as my main summer shoe. I've never owned a pair before. I usually go with Keen or Privo but the ones I want from those brands are just way too expensive this year. Are they comfortable and do they hold up well? I love my Keens and I've never worn a pair out but the ones I want from them are just out of my range. TIA Marie (who spends hours each week couponing and won't buy anything if it's not on sale and with a coupon but is looking to buy a pair of $50 flip flops)

I would not want to HEAR it. I know that doesn't make sense. I would want to know so that I could address it because I would be humiliated. However, I would not want to hear it from the other mother. So I guess I really wouldn't want to be told. I would address it with the child but I would be so embarassed that I would likely distance myself and not allow my child to return for fear of his behavior in the future. It would totally undermine the relationship because I would feel defensive and "on display" all the time and I would hover to make sure my child behaved. So, while it was wrong for that child to behave that way, telling isn't really going to improve the situation. My guess is that the mother already does know. Which does not necessarily equal her not caring or not doing anything about it. Some of the things my kids pull drive me crazy and it is not due to lack of parenting or permissiveness. FWIW, one of mine would have loved your meal. One would have politely eaten as many rolls as he was allowed and declined the rest. One would have eaten a roll but rudely refused the rest (which we are constantly parenting on). Of course, he's only 6, but too old to be rude IMO. We have homemade soup 2x per week around here and the younger boys still won't eat it. And I don't make an alternative meal. Marie

I've had good luck there the last couple of years with the mix and match tankini styles. I got cute board shorts and a racer back type tank top one year and a conservative (although not as much as the racer back) halter another year. I felt like they were cute and sporty but very conservative. I second the Lands End suggestion, too, but if you need to find something asap give Penney's a try. HTH, Marie

Does anyone have a link for an online salary calculator that will tell you the salary range for a profession in a given city? MIL was visiting this weekend and made comments about her salary that had my head spinning (I'm thinking she is grossly underpaid). She just assumes that she is being paid fair market value and doesn't believe she may be taken advantage of or that she could be doing much, much better. If anyone here has any input, she has an undergraduate degree in accounting and an MBA. She only got them 11 yrs ago but has been an auditor in the same bank for that whole 11 yrs. Her job has at some times required 80% travel. From what she has said I am guessing she is making low to mid $30,000s because she kept saying that $40,000 is "alot more" than she makes. This is in Western NY. I realize that what she likely did was take an entry level job and then never made an effort to improve her position. Maybe I'm wrong - I don't know anything about accounting salaries. Anyone have any perspective? I don't want to tell her that I think she could do better if that's not really true. I now know why she is so short on money all the time. She has a lot of debt and the cost of living is so high there. TIA. Marie

The water running in the sink isn't working for me anymore but goggles are an idea i can use. I'm not above sporting some goggles to get an onion chopped. I don't know why I haven't thought of that. Thanks!!

I have either become increasingly sensitive or I'm buying some super potent onions but it is becoming pure torture to chop them. I have to stop and rest a couple times when chopping one large onion my eyes are so irritated. I cook alot. Almost always with onions. I bought one of those pampered chef style choppers. It doesn't help. I am still overcome by the irritation. Surely someone has an answer for me. I have tried freezing them and I'm not sure I've got the hang of how long to do it for, etc. because I don't find that to be convenient. Is a food processor the answer? I don't need a food processor for anything else but would be willing to purchase for this purpose alone (that's how bad it has become). I've started doing some bulk cooking but the thought of chopping three onions in one session is about to do me in. TIA Marie

I've been loving the CVS program but just getting into the Walgreens. I have only been couponing for about 4 months but I am so shocked at what I'm saving. It about makes me want to vomit at my old trips to the grocery store. I'm looking forward to trying the rebate program. I'm not one for mailing in rebates but the online thing I think I can swing. Thanks! Marie

Can you use the esaver "instant coupon" with a manufacturer's coupon. I'm thinking it's a store coupon but it says "manufacturer's coupon good only at Walgreens" on it. I couldn't find the answer anywhere but figured I could get it here! TIA Marie

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